cjm

Like many on this Forum we get visits from those in the UK. They are broadly in the two categories of the heading. What we realise has been happening, though perhaps we didn't want to recognise it, is that these two groups - largely - come to visit with a different set of expectations.

Both groups see paying us a visit as a holiday. No problems there. They have taken the Tunnel, Ferry or flown over, so there is a cost incurred to get here. Bit like getting from Kent to the wilder coast in the north of Scotland.

Are Friends more 'appreciative' than Family in visiting. Do Family keep their hands in their pockets, especially adult 'children' and do Friends treat you to a good lunch or evening dinner to say thanks for having me? Or is it the other way round? With no parents visiting our experiences are incomplete. So, how do mums and dads, cousins, evens aunts and uncles of your generation or older handle the balance?

After all whether Family or Friends it is free accommodation and no extras for the electricity and, hey, you even get UK TV on tap. Most likely if they flew, transport and outings to the beach or a spectacular townscape are thrown in. Even the driver.

Though fresh produce has been increasing in price, except for melon, plum type gluts, wine is cheap and so is a few beers. A simpe thank-you? A gesture? Or is the focus on filling the boot to take home a vineyard?

This isn't supposed to sound like a moan. We love our relatives (mostly) don't we? And, what about the timeline? A few days to a week, how do you manage that? Over a week to two weeks or more, how do you feel when they are safely on their way home? Relieved? Exhausted. Ecstatic?

I'll post our take in a bit. Must phone home now ...

Ka Ora!

I would love for someone to come and stay and buy us dinner.

But I wont hold my breath

cjm

Not sure if that response was tongue in cheek, but happy to buy you lunch if you ever get up our way.

dennerlymum

our recent friend visitors bought us a take away and when we went out for lunch together paid for themselves, accepting our abject penury as a reason to go 50/50! For entertainment, I took them to free places.... well I enjoyed my swim in the Garonne!!!
Family usually take us out for a meal sometimes for a top notch one!! They are more likely to pay their way in attractions

Ka Ora!

La Plage, I always laugh when I see the signs for La Plage in Toulouse. Someone should point out the last time the tide came in there diplodocus poo was the main problem in these parts.

Martin Parker

An often discussed subject on various French forums!!

Maybe we have been lucky, but to date, all our visitors, except one have bought us a meal our and brought some goodies with them. There is a old friend of my wifes hinting at coming to see us and I have a feeling that if she does, her hands will be firmly in her pockets!

I know of some people that even set a charge per day for visitors - I personally couldn't do that. However, I think they ran a B&B so rooms occupied by family and friends are not making money and since it is their business that allows them to live in France, I can understand the reasoning.

dennerlymum

actually not! I went south for the day and swam in the Garonne nearer to your neck of the woods; Its a bit grubby at our end!!

dennerlymum

I agree; it also seems to depend on how many 'friends ' you get visiting you! Some people seem to get lumbered with loads of so called friends , whereas in our case it is fairly few: I am a curmudgeonly old bag, which seems to successfully put off most people!!

Martin Parker

I need to practice that a bit more!!

chateaubev

Hello

I'm a newbie on here but moved to france in 2006, We live in Payolle in the Hautés Pyrénées,
Sometimes on our way dropping friends back off at Toulouse they would say can we give you a little something towards petrol? What about the money we spent on food ? taking them to Spain for a day trip? and Lourdes again, and the four journeys picking them up and dropping them back to the airport and they want to give us a little petrol money.
No more !!!! It has cost us thousands entertaining our friends and family.

However we have one set of friends who are very generous, they will not let us pay for anything, They are so happy having accommodation free and we welcome them back time and time again.
Fay

Tweedpipe

CJM,
Funny you should say that. I was thinking of traveling your way very soon....

Martin Parker

Hi Fay
welcome to the site! I agree, it can cost thousands, but for some reason, people visiting just don't seem to think it actually costs us to live out here!! Either its the holiday mode taking over or they are just too tight to give you anything!

We have been lucky so far, but I am sure our time will come.

G-J-B

Fortunately all my family and friends (which are very small in number) are generous to a fault, but I'd rather be arguing with them over their stubborn generosity than taking on spongers who will take everything they can and expect a free, all expenses paid, holiday.

Annetje

Hi,
We are very simple with our visitors. Ever since we moved to France, we made sure everybody understood that we are NOT rich people on constant holiday. We have always said that we cook one day, you organise a meal the next day, either in or out. We also get on with our life whilst they are here. (play golf whenever we want etc.). Seems to work here.
Anne

snoopycat

Excellent advice if I may say so!