Expats are returning to Britain in their droves
Dec 21st 2008, 7:29 am
#16
down under where
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 3,444
Re: Expats are returning to Britain in their droves
Nappy.
I blame Nappy.
I blame Nappy.
Dec 21st 2008, 7:53 am
#19
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Location: Paris
Posts: 1,549
Dec 21st 2008, 8:36 am
#22
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Joined: Dec 2005
Location: Paris
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Re: Expats are returning to Britain in their droves
D'oh...
Dec 21st 2008, 8:38 am
#23
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,987
Re: Expats are returning to Britain in their droves
Boys, Sarky's gonna kick your asses out for this.....
Dec 21st 2008, 9:20 am
#24
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Joined: Dec 2005
Location: Paris
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Re: Expats are returning to Britain in their droves
Damn, have I failed the French immigration test! Now if you had said 'Nap' I would have been on the ball, but when I hear the word 'nappy' I just think what next summer might bring. 
To be fair, I met a Pakistani acquaintance in Paris about a month back, and he told me about the British citizenship test. My god, they'd have to kick out the indigenous population if they tried it on all of us.
For example, what percentage of Christians in Britain are Roman Catholic?
- What percentage of children live within a step-family?
- When is Mother’s Day?
- When was the first census carried out in the United Kingdom?
- How might you stop young people playing tricks on you at Hallowe’en? (A Call the police B Give them some money CGive them sweets or chocolate D Hide from them ) - I kid you not!
- What is the purpose of the Council of Europe?
- How many young people (up to the age of 19) are there in the UK?
- How many independent schools are there in the UK?
- What year did women in the UK gain the right to divorce their husband?
- What is the population of Wales?
etc etc.
You couldn't make it up if you tried. I can just imagine the sort of politician, displaced from the real world, who made this dribble up.
To be fair, I met a Pakistani acquaintance in Paris about a month back, and he told me about the British citizenship test. My god, they'd have to kick out the indigenous population if they tried it on all of us.
For example, what percentage of Christians in Britain are Roman Catholic?
- What percentage of children live within a step-family?
- When is Mother’s Day?
- When was the first census carried out in the United Kingdom?
- How might you stop young people playing tricks on you at Hallowe’en? (A Call the police B Give them some money CGive them sweets or chocolate D Hide from them ) - I kid you not!
- What is the purpose of the Council of Europe?
- How many young people (up to the age of 19) are there in the UK?
- How many independent schools are there in the UK?
- What year did women in the UK gain the right to divorce their husband?
- What is the population of Wales?
etc etc.
You couldn't make it up if you tried. I can just imagine the sort of politician, displaced from the real world, who made this dribble up.
Dec 21st 2008, 9:39 am
#25
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 2,987
Re: Expats are returning to Britain in their droves
Damn, have I failed the French immigration test! Now if you had said 'Nap' I would have been on the ball, but when I hear the word 'nappy' I just think what next summer might bring.
To be fair, I met a Pakistani acquaintance in Paris about a month back, and he told me about the British citizenship test. My god, they'd have to kick out the indigenous population if they tried it on all of us.
For example, what percentage of Christians in Britain are Roman Catholic?
- What percentage of children live within a step-family?
- When is Mother’s Day?
- When was the first census carried out in the United Kingdom?
- How might you stop young people playing tricks on you at Hallowe’en? (A Call the police B Give them some money CGive them sweets or chocolate D Hide from them ) - I kid you not!
- What is the purpose of the Council of Europe?
- How many young people (up to the age of 19) are there in the UK?
- How many independent schools are there in the UK?
- What year did women in the UK gain the right to divorce their husband?
- What is the population of Wales?
etc etc.
You couldn't make it up if you tried. I can just imagine the sort of politician, displaced from the real world, who made this dribble up.
To be fair, I met a Pakistani acquaintance in Paris about a month back, and he told me about the British citizenship test. My god, they'd have to kick out the indigenous population if they tried it on all of us.
For example, what percentage of Christians in Britain are Roman Catholic?
- What percentage of children live within a step-family?
- When is Mother’s Day?
- When was the first census carried out in the United Kingdom?
- How might you stop young people playing tricks on you at Hallowe’en? (A Call the police B Give them some money CGive them sweets or chocolate D Hide from them ) - I kid you not!
- What is the purpose of the Council of Europe?
- How many young people (up to the age of 19) are there in the UK?
- How many independent schools are there in the UK?
- What year did women in the UK gain the right to divorce their husband?
- What is the population of Wales?
etc etc.
You couldn't make it up if you tried. I can just imagine the sort of politician, displaced from the real world, who made this dribble up.
:curse:
Dec 21st 2008, 11:35 pm
#26
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 10,551
Re: Expats are returning to Britain in their droves
Damn, have I failed the French immigration test! Now if you had said 'Nap' I would have been on the ball, but when I hear the word 'nappy' I just think what next summer might bring.
To be fair, I met a Pakistani acquaintance in Paris about a month back, and he told me about the British citizenship test. My god, they'd have to kick out the indigenous population if they tried it on all of us.
For example, what percentage of Christians in Britain are Roman Catholic?
- What percentage of children live within a step-family?
- When is Mother’s Day?
- When was the first census carried out in the United Kingdom?
- How might you stop young people playing tricks on you at Hallowe’en? (A Call the police B Give them some money CGive them sweets or chocolate D Hide from them ) - I kid you not!
- What is the purpose of the Council of Europe?
- How many young people (up to the age of 19) are there in the UK?
- How many independent schools are there in the UK?
- What year did women in the UK gain the right to divorce their husband?
- What is the population of Wales?
etc etc.
You couldn't make it up if you tried. I can just imagine the sort of politician, displaced from the real world, who made this dribble up.
To be fair, I met a Pakistani acquaintance in Paris about a month back, and he told me about the British citizenship test. My god, they'd have to kick out the indigenous population if they tried it on all of us.
For example, what percentage of Christians in Britain are Roman Catholic?
- What percentage of children live within a step-family?
- When is Mother’s Day?
- When was the first census carried out in the United Kingdom?
- How might you stop young people playing tricks on you at Hallowe’en? (A Call the police B Give them some money CGive them sweets or chocolate D Hide from them ) - I kid you not!
- What is the purpose of the Council of Europe?
- How many young people (up to the age of 19) are there in the UK?
- How many independent schools are there in the UK?
- What year did women in the UK gain the right to divorce their husband?
- What is the population of Wales?
etc etc.
You couldn't make it up if you tried. I can just imagine the sort of politician, displaced from the real world, who made this dribble up.
Really what on earth would be the point of those questions, Something like.
1 Where is the best place to get a pint of milk, A Corner shop.
2 Where do you find a corner shop A at the end of any street.
3 When are corner shops open, A All the time.
4 What can your kids do after school. A Get drunk and abuse the Bus Shelter.
5 What are bus shelters for. A Keep children busy after school
6 In ancient times England had Post Offices what were these for? A Robbing when you run out of money.
7 What is the Occupations most in demand in the UK, A Driving instructors and IT consultants. And corner shop owners.
8 If you find yourself with an empty wallet what should you do. A Claim Unemployment benefit.
9 If you don't find an Unemployment Office near you what should you do, A find a Lebanese Loop and fit it to a Cash point machine
10 If all of the above fail what then should be done, A Open a Corner Shop.
Last edited by Ka Ora!; Dec 21st 2008 at 11:39 pm.
Dec 22nd 2008, 1:04 am
#27
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Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2005
Location: Paris
Posts: 1,549
Re: Expats are returning to Britain in their droves
Haha, I prefer your test Ka Ora! Perhaps you can write a French one:
1. What should you drink with your meals. Ans: wine
2. What prime ingrediant should you flavour your food with. Ans: garlic
3. What do you do if you see an idyllic ruin. Ans: Buy it up and use local French labour to renovate it...........
....
.
I'm not in a very imaginative mood - lack of sleep. Don't know how I'm going to waffle French to the historian chap who's coming over tonight, and then I've got to get up to catch a plane in the morning.
