Tweedpipe

Some say it's an urban legend, and others swear it's true. I like to believe the latter on this priceless tale:-

When Charles de Gaulle decided to retire from public life, the American Ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honour.
At the dinner table the Ambassador’s wife was talking to Madame de Gaulle.
“Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such a presence on the French and International scene for so many years. How quiet retirement will seem in comparison. What are you most looking forward to in these retirement years, and growing older together?”
“A penis”, replied madame de Gaulle.
A huge hush fell over the table. Everyone had heard her answer........ and no one knew what to say next.
Finally the grand Charles leaned over to his wife and said, “Ma cherie, I believe zat word is pronounced ‘appiness”.

Ewood

If not true it ought to be!

Andrea50

Love it!

Ewood

'appiness' or 'a penis'?

treskillard

means the same thing anyway

Andrea50

You're just a smut machine m8! Bring it on ..........

I've been ransacking the loft to try to find my wedding photos - it's scary up there, found loads and loads of photos and found the "unofficial" wedding shots - only got 3 cos ex got custody of the "official" ones (cos they were expensive and paid for by his Rich Uncle) and I got the 3 taken by a mate who was so intoxicated he got a shot of the church spire with someone's hat in it, (which he must have taken lying down), another shot of the graveyard with my wretched nutter cousin having a pee behind a Celtic Cross and a weird shot of some dead trees so he must have wandered off. Oh well, best forgotten anyway, but i wanted the ones with the "Shit it's raining" umbrella in them

We just got back from "present exchange" at my mother's - what a bloody nightmare, daughter's mad dog ate my toblerone, then she attacked her own present (box of dog biscuits and two Jumbones) and ate the paper as well and was sick on mum's carpet and Kat's boyfriend and poor old Pete (their first experience of a Balls Up Bennett Fiasco Christmas) just sat there with their mouths open. God I hate Family Gatherings ............ and it was flippin freezin too, cos she won't put the heating on!!

What's your day been like?

Ewood

Quiet, shopping in Cheltenham and present wrapping. Gonna put some photos up on the photos thread Andy

Andrea50

Oh brillo, are you? Which ones? Excellent, I can't wait to see them

Ewood

Meant your photos Andy!

Andrea50

Jesus H Christ m8, that would clear the boards so to speak. Sorry, thought YOU were - no question mark you see (ouch, do I sound like one of the Correct English Brigade who occasionally stick their heads in here, only to have em chopped off!!!).

Shopping in Cheltenham eh? Had a friend from school who went to Cheltenham Ladies College - same time as Rachel Heyho Flint (the female cricket player, built like Sandhurst she was). Really great shops - what are the charity shops like there? Full of Gucci at £3.58 or what?

Ewood

Not that I noticed, I think you need to get out into the Cotswold villages and small towns to find the the money these days, and their cast offs in the charity shops.

Andrea50

Yes, I remember Burford - does that count? it was lovely, loads of women in camel coats and blokes with those funny white scarves reeking of Paco Rabanne and with ties with pound notes printed on em!! Enjoyed the irony of parking my filthy and totally "held together by dog hair" mini beside a brand new Range Rover with A Rich Bloke in it - he looked horrified - you know, like I might talk to him and give him a disease only us poor proletariat can have, like Charity Shopitis.

Mind you, even Oxford's got a pawn shop now - they don't call it that anymore, can't remember what they are called now, some new politically-correct name I expect Andy's 'Ave it Back on Payday Trading Post probably ..........

Ewood

Burford, Bibury, Cirencester Stow on The Wold, Moreton In Marsh, Broadway... the list is endless. Costs money to breathe up there!