bad jokes...

Old Sep 3rd 2020, 4:25 pm
  #361  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

Originally Posted by Tweedpipe View Post
DMU, BB +others.Thought you may appreciate this then.

Hi hi, superbe!


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Old Sep 4th 2020, 8:48 am
  #362  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

These may brighten up your day too.......

1. - Un bon vieux ch'tit se promène dans la rue et remarque un jeune s'abreuvent a l'eau de la fontaine. Il lui dit en patois:

"Bô pas ch'tiô la min garchon , ché vaques qu'on lié d'din (Ne bois pas l'eau de la fontaine il y'a les vaches qu'ont chié dedans)

Le jeune répond, "Monsieur parlez-moi en français s'il vous plaît je suis parisien et je comprend rien à votre dialecte."

Alors le brave nordiste lui répond, "Bois doucement elle est froide!"




2. La maîtresse d'école demande aux élèves,"Que nous donne la poule?"Et les enfants, tous en chœur : "Des œufs!"

"Bien. Et que nous donne le porc?"

"Du jambon!"

"Bravo, les enfants. Et que nous donne la vache?"

"Des devoirs!!!"

Spoiler:
1
An old ch'tit walks down the street and sees a young lad drinking water from the fountain.
He says to him in patois, "Bô pas ch'tiô la min garchon, ché vaques that we bind to din!" (Don't drink the water from the fountain, there are cows that shit in it).
The little lad replies, Mister, speak to me in French please, I’m Parisian and I don’t understand your dialect.
To which the Ch’tit replies, "Drink slowly, it's cold!"

2.
The mistress asks the pupils, "What does the hen give us?"
The kids reply in chorus, "Eggs!"
"Good. And what does the pig give us?"
"Pork and ham!"
"Excellent, well done."
Now then, what does the cow give us?"
All the kids shout in harmony, "Homework!!!"









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Old Sep 4th 2020, 9:13 am
  #363  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

1.
C'est l'histoire d'un père qui est assis à table avec ses trois fils et qui mange de la soupe aux vermicelles. Le premier fils dit : "Papa, t'as un vermicelle collé sur la gueule."
Le père se lève et, PAN !, lui donne une grande gifle en pleine figure.
Le second fils s'exclame : "Il est vraiment chié, le vieux !"
Le père se retourne alors, et PAN !, lui met aussi une gifle magistrale.
En retournant à sa place, le père voit son troisième fils qui essaie de se protéger avec ses mains..
"Mais n'aie pas peur comme ça, voyons. Tu n'as rien dit, je ne te ferai rien."
Et le petit garçon répond : "Ben, on sait jamais : t'es tellement con."

2.
Père Noël : " Que veux-tu pour Noël mon petit ? "
Enfant : "Une licorne! "
Père Noël : "Sois un peu plus réaliste! "
Enfant : " Je veux un gouvernement qui respecte mes droits et qui ne pense pas qu'à ses propres intérêts. "
Père Noël : " Euh... Quelle couleur ta licorne? "

Spoiler:
1.
A father sits at the table with his three sons eating noodle soup. The first son says, "Dad, you've got a noodle stuck on your cake-hole!"
The father gets up and, PAN!, gives him a big slap in the face.
The second son exclaims: "He's really screwed up, the old man!"
The father then turns around, and PAN!, also gives him a hard slap.
Returning to his seat, the father sees his third son trying to protect himself with his hands.
"Eh, don't be afraid like that. You said nothing, I won't do anything to you."
And the kid replies: "Well, you could have fooled me, ‘cause you're such an idiot!"

2.
Santa: "What do you want for Christmas my child?"
Child: "A unicorn!"
Santa Claus: "Be a little more realistic!"
Child: "Well I'd really like a government that respects my rights and does not think of its own interests."
Santa: "Uh ... what colour unicorn can I get you?"




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Old Sep 4th 2020, 9:24 am
  #364  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

My goodness, this brings back a few memories.



(Believe most should understand without a translation).

Last edited by Tweedpipe; Sep 4th 2020 at 9:26 am.
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