Re: bad jokes...
 

Hi hi, superbe!

;)

Re: bad jokes...
 

These may brighten up your day too.......

1. - Un bon vieux ch'tit se promène dans la rue et remarque un jeune s'abreuvent a l'eau de la fontaine. Il lui dit en patois:

"Bô pas ch'tiô la min garchon , ché vaques qu'on lié d'din (Ne bois pas l'eau de la fontaine il y'a les vaches qu'ont chié dedans)

Le jeune répond, "Monsieur parlez-moi en français s'il vous plaît je suis parisien et je comprend rien à votre dialecte."

Alors le brave nordiste lui répond, "Bois doucement elle est froide!"




2. La maîtresse d'école demande aux élèves,"Que nous donne la poule?"Et les enfants, tous en chœur : "Des œufs!"

"Bien. Et que nous donne le porc?"

"Du jambon!"

"Bravo, les enfants. Et que nous donne la vache?"

"Des devoirs!!!"

Re: bad jokes...
 

1.
C'est l'histoire d'un père qui est assis à table avec ses trois fils et qui mange de la soupe aux vermicelles. Le premier fils dit : "Papa, t'as un vermicelle collé sur la gueule."
Le père se lève et, PAN !, lui donne une grande gifle en pleine figure.
Le second fils s'exclame : "Il est vraiment chié, le vieux !"
Le père se retourne alors, et PAN !, lui met aussi une gifle magistrale.
En retournant à sa place, le père voit son troisième fils qui essaie de se protéger avec ses mains..
"Mais n'aie pas peur comme ça, voyons. Tu n'as rien dit, je ne te ferai rien."
Et le petit garçon répond : "Ben, on sait jamais : t'es tellement con."

2.
Père Noël : " Que veux-tu pour Noël mon petit ? "
Enfant : "Une licorne! "
Père Noël : "Sois un peu plus réaliste! "
Enfant : " Je veux un gouvernement qui respecte mes droits et qui ne pense pas qu'à ses propres intérêts. "
Père Noël : " Euh... Quelle couleur ta licorne? "





Re: bad jokes...
 

My goodness, this brings back a few memories.

https://cimg8.ibsrv.net/gimg/british...92baab8636.jpg

(Believe most should understand without a translation).;)

Re: bad jokes...
 

https://cimg7.ibsrv.net/gimg/british...58770df466.png

Re: bad jokes...
 

:lol:
As for the rest of them, I guess.........
Happy’s hiding a huge smile behind his Covid face mask
Doc is rushed off his feet caring for Sneezy
Bashful’s wearing two masks to hide his timidity
Dopey’s wearing his mask back to front
Grumpy’s absolutely refusing to wear a mask
And Sleepy’s too far gone to care.

Re: bad jokes...
 

Buckboy,
Your cartoon about Sneezy being under Covid isolation, there appears to be more truth there than initially meets the eye! ;)

https://cimg6.ibsrv.net/gimg/british...3a87838b08.jpg

Re: bad jokes...
 

Re: bad jokes...
 

Not exactly a 'bad joke' but for those in need of a good laugh - or at least a smile for the day, I think this thread is appropriate.
I'm not usually in the habit of looking for or buying a push chair, baby-stroller or 'poussette' - or whatever else you wish to call 'em, but as junior TP has just become a father for the first time, I was attracted to LBCoin for suitable goods. And stumbled upon this brilliant ad - pushchair priced at 300e. There were also 3 photos which I've removed fror convenience.
I'm sure when junior opens his e-mails later today he will love reading this as much as I did. And who said the French have no sense of humour?
I enjoyed this so much I'm tempted to offer on LBCoin an English translation for 9,99p! ;)


https://cimg9.ibsrv.net/gimg/british...64cab44234.jpg

Re: bad jokes...
 

:lol:
and congratulations on becoming a Papy!!

Re: bad jokes...
 

Thank you!
I've taken to calling Mme TP mémé instead of mamie, just to wind her up a little.;)

Re: bad jokes...
 

Q: How many Freemason's does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Nobody knows. It's a secret! :sneaky:

Re: bad jokes...
 

French joke lesson No.1

I heard this yesterday in French. (Needs a little imagination to make sense......).

Three children are playing at knights.
Victor: "I'm calling myself VICTORUS."
Antoine: "I'm calling myself ANTOINUS"
Anne: "I'm not playing!"

Re: bad jokes...
 

For anti and pro-Brexit folks (especially the latter):sneaky:, here are a few recent Classic Boris cartoons.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ep6Lc-LW...g&name=900x900

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ep1HlLXW...jpg&name=small

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ep3KdWWX...jpg&name=small

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Ep1PosRX...jpg&name=small

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EkXYVSuW...jpg&name=small


https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EpxnmNyW...jpg&name=small

https://www.politico.eu/wp-content/u...77-600x436.jpg

Re: bad jokes...
 

HOLIDAY SHOPPING

Husband and Wife were out Christmas shopping in a busy shopping center just before Christmas. The wife suddenly noticed that her husband was missing – and as they had a lot to do, she called him on the mobile and asked "Where are you, you know we have lots to do."

Not missing a beat, her husband confessed: "Do you remember the jewelry store that we went into about 10 years ago? You fell in love with that diamond necklace? And although I couldn’t afford it at the time, I told you that one day I would get it for you?"

Little tears started to flow down her cheek. She was all choked up, but managed to reply: …"Yes, I remember that wonderful store."

"Well I am in the Golf shop next door to that."