bad jokes...

Old Jun 24th 2020, 8:09 am
  #346  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

Originally Posted by cyrian View Post
And it looks like the little lad's prayers for his grandad have indeed come true........






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Old Jun 24th 2020, 4:11 pm
  #347  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

Originally Posted by cyrian View Post
I'm old enough to remember that joke when the tag line was 'in daddies books'
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Old Jun 24th 2020, 5:53 pm
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Default Re: bad jokes...

Many kids have been complaining that they've not seen their 'uncle' since dad's been working at home.
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Old Jun 25th 2020, 9:51 am
  #349  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

Originally Posted by Tweedpipe View Post
Many kids have been complaining that they've not seen their 'uncle' since dad's been working at home.
When my sister did her teacher training she went to a school in a somewhat deprived area of Sheffield, She was quite amazed at the number of childern who had 'uncles' staying at their house, and these seemed to change on a regular basis, there were'nt enough bedrooms so 'uncle' had to sleep in mummy's bed.
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Old Aug 21st 2020, 11:58 am
  #350  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

Funny golf video
Attached Files
File Type: mp4
VIDEO-2020-08-12-11-23-32.mp4 (3.93 MB, 16 views)
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Old Aug 24th 2020, 3:32 pm
  #351  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

Again, not a joke, just another episode from la vie quotidienne.

Having finally won my hard fought-for Swiss pension, we decided to treat ourselves to having a femme de ménage for a few hours a week, freeing us for other pursuits. OH could do less ironing, I could stop swabbing stone floors.

OH gave the requirements to the local agency, who came back saying yup, we have someone, she's called Rebecca - I may have missed that bit - and she can start next week, so OH went ahead and bought a wad of chèques services.

The other evening we were drawing up plans, when it started to go a bit weird.

OH: "Bien que la femme de ménage ne soit là que pour quelques heures, on devrait définir quelques tâches raisonnables."
BB: "C'est qui, Bianca?"
OH: "Tu parles de quoi, toi?"
BB: "La femme de ménage, évidemment."
OH: "Elle s'appelle Rebecca..."
BB: "Mais, mais, tu viens de dire Bianca..."

Le lendemain...

OH: "Rebecca's coming tomorrow at mid-day."
BB: "Oh good, she can keep Bianca company then."


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Old Aug 24th 2020, 4:28 pm
  #352  
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Default Re: bad jokes...


Easily done
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Old Aug 24th 2020, 8:02 pm
  #353  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

Originally Posted by BuckinghamshireBoy View Post
Again, not a joke, just another episode from la vie quotidienne.

Having finally won my hard fought-for Swiss pension, we decided to treat ourselves to having a femme de ménage for a few hours a week, freeing us for other pursuits. OH could do less ironing, I could stop swabbing stone floors.

OH gave the requirements to the local agency, who came back saying yup, we have someone, she's called Rebecca - I may have missed that bit - and she can start next week, so OH went ahead and bought a wad of chèques services.

The other evening we were drawing up plans, when it started to go a bit weird.

OH: "Bien que la femme de ménage ne soit là que pour quelques heures, on devrait définir quelques tâches raisonnables."
BB: "C'est qui, Bianca?"
OH: "Tu parles de quoi, toi?"
BB: "La femme de ménage, évidemment."
OH: "Elle s'appelle Rebecca..."
BB: "Mais, mais, tu viens de dire Bianca..."

Le lendemain...

OH: "Rebecca's coming tomorrow at mid-day."
BB: "Oh good, she can keep Bianca company then."

Love it!

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Old Aug 24th 2020, 8:10 pm
  #354  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

I think this could be considered as a bad joke, although Mme TP wasn't joking when she came out with this. Thought it was worth sharing.
Link HERE:

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Old Aug 25th 2020, 10:08 am
  #355  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

A young man goes into a drugstore to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
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Old Aug 25th 2020, 2:49 pm
  #356  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

Originally Posted by Jon-Bxl View Post
A young man goes into a drugstore to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves.

Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
Which reminds me........

A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist if he sells XXXL size condoms.
He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"
She responds, "Um, not really. But do you mind if I hang around here until someone does?"
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Old Sep 2nd 2020, 6:57 pm
  #357  
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Old Sep 3rd 2020, 7:35 am
  #358  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

Originally Posted by BuckinghamshireBoy View Post

love it, it's made my day!
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Old Sep 3rd 2020, 1:19 pm
  #359  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

DMU, BB +others.Thought you may appreciate this then.


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Old Sep 3rd 2020, 3:51 pm
  #360  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

Originally Posted by Tweedpipe View Post
DMU, BB +others.Thought you may appreciate this then.


Love it, too! What a day this has been....
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