bad jokes...

Old Jan 18th 2019, 2:47 pm
  #286  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

This doesn't work in English, but I'll post it all the same:
Quel est le point commun entre le thé vert et DAESH?
Ils sont tous les deux anti-oxidants!
(Sorry)
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Old Jan 18th 2019, 3:08 pm
  #287  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

Originally Posted by dmu View Post
This doesn't work in English, but I'll post it all the same:
Quel est le point commun entre le thé vert et DAESH?
Ils sont tous les deux anti-oxidants!
(Sorry)
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Old Jan 18th 2019, 3:09 pm
  #288  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

Originally Posted by BuckinghamshireBoy View Post
Show off
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Old Jan 18th 2019, 4:27 pm
  #289  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

Originally Posted by dmu View Post
This doesn't work in English, but I'll post it all the same:
Quel est le point commun entre le thé vert et DAESH?
Ils sont tous les deux anti-oxidants!
(Sorry)
Ouch! Not so much lol, more like sol (smiled-out-loud).

Here's one of my many favourites from Coluche:
Les femmes seront les egales des hommes le jour ou elles accepteront d'etre chauves et de trouver ca distingue.
Spoiler:
Women will be the equal of men, the day they accept to be bald and find that it's distinguished.


And one more......
A la Securite Sociale, tout est assure. Sauf la pendule. Ca, on risque pas de la voler, le personnel a les yeux constamment fixes dessus.
Spoiler:
At the Social Security, everything is insured. Except the clock. No risk of that being stolen, the staff have their eyes constantly fixed on it.

I occasionally tell that last one when we have guests, and it's appreciated by all. Except by Mme TP. She used to work for the Social Security!
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Old Jan 18th 2019, 4:34 pm
  #290  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

Originally Posted by spouse of scouse View Post
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Ah c'mon, not really, it's a play on the spelling in the punchline.

Good one dmu.
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Old Jan 18th 2019, 4:50 pm
  #291  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

Originally Posted by Tweedpipe View Post
Ouch! Not so much lol, more like sol (smiled-out-loud).

Here's one of my many favourites from Coluche:
Les femmes seront les egales des hommes le jour ou elles accepteront d'etre chauves et de trouver ca distingue.
Spoiler:
Women will be the equal of men, the day they accept to be bald and find that it's distinguished.


And one more......
A la Securite Sociale, tout est assure. Sauf la pendule. Ca, on risque pas de la voler, le personnel a les yeux constamment fixes dessus.
Spoiler:
At the Social Security, everything is insured. Except the clock. No risk of that being stolen, the staff have their eyes constantly fixed on it.

I occasionally tell that last one when we have guests, and it's appreciated by all. Except by Mme TP. She used to work for the Social Security!
That usage of la pendule had me there. I was looking at the ultimate punishment for criminals...

I may have learned that in the past, but I always go for l'horloge. Even if my car's handbook claims that it has "une montre".
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Old Jan 18th 2019, 6:51 pm
  #292  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

Originally Posted by BuckinghamshireBoy View Post
That usage of la pendule had me there. I was looking at the ultimate punishment for criminals...

I may have learned that in the past, but I always go for l'horloge. Even if my car's handbook claims that it has "une montre".
I guess you would always go for 'l'orloge' considering your Swiss connections. Or even chronometre.
Whether in a car or aircraft cockpit, the clock always seems to be referred to as une montre de bord. Rarely un orloge and afaik never une pendule. The latter no doubt would stem from the days when clocks had an open, swinging pendulum . As for the "ultimate punishment" you were on-the-ball with 'hanging'. This is what makes words and languages so diverse and interesting.

Last edited by Tweedpipe; Jan 18th 2019 at 6:54 pm.
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Old Jan 18th 2019, 7:49 pm
  #293  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

Originally Posted by Tweedpipe View Post
I guess you would always go for 'l'orloge' considering your Swiss connections. Or even chronometre.
Whether in a car or aircraft cockpit, the clock always seems to be referred to as une montre de bord. Rarely un orloge and afaik never une pendule. The latter no doubt would stem from the days when clocks had an open, swinging pendulum . As for the "ultimate punishment" you were on-the-ball with 'hanging'. This is what makes words and languages so diverse and interesting.
Thank you for the clarification, as you say the words and languages being so diverse and interesting.

I'm slightly miffed that I'm at risk of losing my French up here - I've already been told by teacher to stop thinking in it.

So I'll have to stick with you lot in order to keep my hand in.
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Old Jan 18th 2019, 9:52 pm
  #294  
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Default Re: bad jokes...

Another clever 'bad' satirical cartoon which made me smile.
The caption reads, "Manu (Emmanuel Macron), stop messing around, and put Benalla's truncheon back in the drawer."
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Old Feb 18th 2019, 8:52 am
  #295  
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Default Re: bad jokes...


Made me smile
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