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-   -   bad jokes... (https://britishexpats.com/forum/france-76/bad-jokes-579795/)

dmu Jan 18th 2019 2:47 pm

Re: bad jokes...
 
This doesn't work in English, but I'll post it all the same:
Quel est le point commun entre le thé vert et DAESH?
Ils sont tous les deux anti-oxidants!
(Sorry:o)

BuckinghamshireBoy Jan 18th 2019 3:08 pm

Re: bad jokes...
 

Originally Posted by dmu (Post 12623649)
This doesn't work in English, but I'll post it all the same:
Quel est le point commun entre le thé vert et DAESH?
Ils sont tous les deux anti-oxidants!
(Sorry:o)

:lol:

spouse of scouse Jan 18th 2019 3:09 pm

Re: bad jokes...
 

Originally Posted by BuckinghamshireBoy (Post 12623659)
:lol:

Show off :frown:

Tweedpipe Jan 18th 2019 4:27 pm

Re: bad jokes...
 

Originally Posted by dmu (Post 12623649)
This doesn't work in English, but I'll post it all the same:
Quel est le point commun entre le thé vert et DAESH?
Ils sont tous les deux anti-oxidants!
(Sorry:o)

Ouch! Not so much lol, more like sol (smiled-out-loud). ;)

Here's one of my many favourites from Coluche:
Les femmes seront les egales des hommes le jour ou elles accepteront d'etre chauves et de trouver ca distingue.
Spoiler:
Women will be the equal of men, the day they accept to be bald and find that it's distinguished.


And one more......
A la Securite Sociale, tout est assure. Sauf la pendule. Ca, on risque pas de la voler, le personnel a les yeux constamment fixes dessus.
Spoiler:
At the Social Security, everything is insured. Except the clock. No risk of that being stolen, the staff have their eyes constantly fixed on it.

I occasionally tell that last one when we have guests, and it's appreciated by all. Except by Mme TP. She used to work for the Social Security! :sneaky:

BuckinghamshireBoy Jan 18th 2019 4:34 pm

Re: bad jokes...
 

Originally Posted by spouse of scouse (Post 12623661)
Show off :frown:

Ah c'mon, not really, :o it's a play on the spelling in the punchline. ;)

Good one dmu.

BuckinghamshireBoy Jan 18th 2019 4:50 pm

Re: bad jokes...
 

Originally Posted by Tweedpipe (Post 12623691)
Ouch! Not so much lol, more like sol (smiled-out-loud). ;)

Here's one of my many favourites from Coluche:
Les femmes seront les egales des hommes le jour ou elles accepteront d'etre chauves et de trouver ca distingue.
Spoiler:
Women will be the equal of men, the day they accept to be bald and find that it's distinguished.


And one more......
A la Securite Sociale, tout est assure. Sauf la pendule. Ca, on risque pas de la voler, le personnel a les yeux constamment fixes dessus.
Spoiler:
At the Social Security, everything is insured. Except the clock. No risk of that being stolen, the staff have their eyes constantly fixed on it.

I occasionally tell that last one when we have guests, and it's appreciated by all. Except by Mme TP. She used to work for the Social Security! :sneaky:

That usage of la pendule had me there. I was looking at the ultimate punishment for criminals... :confused:

I may have learned that in the past, but I always go for l'horloge. Even if my car's handbook claims that it has "une montre". :blink:

Tweedpipe Jan 18th 2019 6:51 pm

Re: bad jokes...
 

Originally Posted by BuckinghamshireBoy (Post 12623706)
That usage of la pendule had me there. I was looking at the ultimate punishment for criminals... :confused:

I may have learned that in the past, but I always go for l'horloge. Even if my car's handbook claims that it has "une montre". :blink:

I guess you would always go for 'l'orloge' considering your Swiss connections.;) Or even chronometre.
Whether in a car or aircraft cockpit, the clock always seems to be referred to as une montre de bord. Rarely un orloge and afaik never une pendule. The latter no doubt would stem from the days when clocks had an open, swinging pendulum . As for the "ultimate punishment" you were on-the-ball with 'hanging'. This is what makes words and languages so diverse and interesting.

BuckinghamshireBoy Jan 18th 2019 7:49 pm

Re: bad jokes...
 

Originally Posted by Tweedpipe (Post 12623752)
I guess you would always go for 'l'orloge' considering your Swiss connections.;) Or even chronometre.
Whether in a car or aircraft cockpit, the clock always seems to be referred to as une montre de bord. Rarely un orloge and afaik never une pendule. The latter no doubt would stem from the days when clocks had an open, swinging pendulum . As for the "ultimate punishment" you were on-the-ball with 'hanging'. This is what makes words and languages so diverse and interesting.

Thank you for the clarification, as you say the words and languages being so diverse and interesting.

I'm slightly miffed that I'm at risk of losing my French up here - I've already been told by teacher to stop thinking in it. :(

So I'll have to stick with you lot in order to keep my hand in. :p

Tweedpipe Jan 18th 2019 9:52 pm

Re: bad jokes...
 
Another clever 'bad' satirical cartoon which made me smile.
The caption reads, "Manu (Emmanuel Macron), stop messing around, and put Benalla's truncheon back in the drawer."

cyrian Feb 18th 2019 8:52 am

Re: bad jokes...
 
https://cimg0.ibsrv.net/gimg/british...d6b652b302.jpg
Made me smile


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