Now the fire bans over......

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Old Jun 4th 2005, 2:03 pm
  #1  
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Default Now the fire bans over......

And i havn't done one of these for a while (a stupid dooozy that is!!) mainly cos i've been working and not being quite so stupid, but today i was!!

Picture the scene....

We spend weeks moving about 50 tonnes of wood from the bottom of our garden that the kind council men dropped over the fence (about a year ago, but i can't find the thread) This task has been gargantuan and has left us with a pile of crap where our lawn used to be.

So i decided to do the right thing as it was autumn, and build a bonfire..... ( i have even got my slippers on to add to the authenticity)

I was very careful and did it all properly with layers of paper, dry stuff etc. Anyways the paper kept blowing out and i got impatient ( ) and asked HUP if he would kindly place a bit of petrol on the pile. His idea of a bit was about a bowser's worth, but he stood well back and put the can well out of the way.

I light my trusty bit of paper and bend down to put the flame to a bit of paper, quite forgetting that i didn't have to shelter the flame as i had been doing previously.

There was a resounding WOOOOMMMPHHH noise and a great deal of heat up my left side. I realised straight away that my arm was now a depilatory dream and was as smooth as the proverbial babies but. What i didn't realise till a short while ago was that the left side of my hair is all singed and is breaking off and so are my eyelashes, i look ferkin ridiculous.

Oh well, could be much worse i suppose :scared:
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Old Jun 4th 2005, 2:07 pm
  #2  
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Default Re: Now the fire bans over......

As soon as I read petrol I put my head in my hands & thought Ohhhh s**t.
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Old Jun 4th 2005, 2:15 pm
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Default Re: Now the fire bans over......

Originally Posted by Bordy
As soon as I read petrol I put my head in my hands & thought Ohhhh s**t.

me too!!! pmsl!!!!!! hevs, you are an absolute treasure!!!!!

my kids think im barmy cos im just howling with laughter! - you should write a book.............


ps, remember reading the logs thread.....wasnt it around the time of the chainsaw thread or is that one and the same???
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Old Jun 4th 2005, 2:16 pm
  #4  
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Default Re: Now the fire bans over......

Originally Posted by hevs
And i havn't done one of these for a while (a stupid dooozy that is!!) mainly cos i've been working and not being quite so stupid, but today i was!!

Picture the scene....

We spend weeks moving about 50 tonnes of wood from the bottom of our garden that the kind council men dropped over the fence (about a year ago, but i can't find the thread) This task has been gargantuan and has left us with a pile of crap where our lawn used to be.

So i decided to do the right thing as it was autumn, and build a bonfire..... ( i have even got my slippers on to add to the authenticity)

I was very careful and did it all properly with layers of paper, dry stuff etc. Anyways the paper kept blowing out and i got impatient ( ) and asked HUP if he would kindly place a bit of petrol on the pile. His idea of a bit was about a bowser's worth, but he stood well back and put the can well out of the way.

I light my trusty bit of paper and bend down to put the flame to a bit of paper, quite forgetting that i didn't have to shelter the flame as i had been doing previously.

There was a resounding WOOOOMMMPHHH noise and a great deal of heat up my left side. I realised straight away that my arm was now a depilatory dream and was as smooth as the proverbial babies but. What i didn't realise till a short while ago was that the left side of my hair is all singed and is breaking off and so are my eyelashes, i look ferkin ridiculous.

Oh well, could be much worse i suppose :scared:
Hope the hairs grow back soon :scared: :scared:

You could always join the south of England with their water restrictions, I thought I had left all that in Oz!

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Old Jun 4th 2005, 2:41 pm
  #5  
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Default Re: Now the fire bans over......

Originally Posted by hevs
And i havn't done one of these for a while (a stupid dooozy that is!!) mainly cos i've been working and not being quite so stupid, but today i was!!

Picture the scene....

We spend weeks moving about 50 tonnes of wood from the bottom of our garden that the kind council men dropped over the fence (about a year ago, but i can't find the thread) This task has been gargantuan and has left us with a pile of crap where our lawn used to be.

So i decided to do the right thing as it was autumn, and build a bonfire..... ( i have even got my slippers on to add to the authenticity)

I was very careful and did it all properly with layers of paper, dry stuff etc. Anyways the paper kept blowing out and i got impatient ( ) and asked HUP if he would kindly place a bit of petrol on the pile. His idea of a bit was about a bowser's worth, but he stood well back and put the can well out of the way.

I light my trusty bit of paper and bend down to put the flame to a bit of paper, quite forgetting that i didn't have to shelter the flame as i had been doing previously.

There was a resounding WOOOOMMMPHHH noise and a great deal of heat up my left side. I realised straight away that my arm was now a depilatory dream and was as smooth as the proverbial babies but. What i didn't realise till a short while ago was that the left side of my hair is all singed and is breaking off and so are my eyelashes, i look ferkin ridiculous.

Oh well, could be much worse i suppose :scared:
From hubby (the fireman) "Dozy Cow" Good job you're in the trade - presumably you can get a free hair makeover Might give the mascara a holiday for a few weeks though.
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Old Jun 4th 2005, 2:52 pm
  #6  
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Default Re: Now the fire bans over......

OMG, what idiot let you loose with a match! :scared: And as for HUP - he should know better than aid you in such exploits!!
You won't be a good advert for the salon this week will you, they'll probably make you wear a bag over your head!
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Old Jun 4th 2005, 4:06 pm
  #7  
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Default Re: Now the fire bans over......

Blimey Hevs!

Glad to hear you're not toast; take care.
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Old Jun 4th 2005, 6:15 pm
  #8  
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Default Re: Now the fire bans over......

Originally Posted by hevs
And i havn't done one of these for a while (a stupid dooozy that is!!) mainly cos i've been working and not being quite so stupid, but today i was!!

Picture the scene....

We spend weeks moving about 50 tonnes of wood from the bottom of our garden that the kind council men dropped over the fence (about a year ago, but i can't find the thread) This task has been gargantuan and has left us with a pile of crap where our lawn used to be.

So i decided to do the right thing as it was autumn, and build a bonfire..... ( i have even got my slippers on to add to the authenticity)

I was very careful and did it all properly with layers of paper, dry stuff etc. Anyways the paper kept blowing out and i got impatient ( ) and asked HUP if he would kindly place a bit of petrol on the pile. His idea of a bit was about a bowser's worth, but he stood well back and put the can well out of the way.

I light my trusty bit of paper and bend down to put the flame to a bit of paper, quite forgetting that i didn't have to shelter the flame as i had been doing previously.

There was a resounding WOOOOMMMPHHH noise and a great deal of heat up my left side. I realised straight away that my arm was now a depilatory dream and was as smooth as the proverbial babies but. What i didn't realise till a short while ago was that the left side of my hair is all singed and is breaking off and so are my eyelashes, i look ferkin ridiculous.

Oh well, could be much worse i suppose :scared:
I know deisel is a bit more expensive but give that a go next time ya crazy chick.

Glad you are still alive
Kala
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Old Jun 4th 2005, 8:20 pm
  #9  
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Default Re: Now the fire bans over......

Holly Poo Thought you Oxfordshore bumpkins would ave known better than dat ooooww aaarrrrr

Did the very same thing with my dads old wood burning heater for his green house worse cos it was enclosed and the woooooohhhhhppppp was directed straight at my head i didnt even get close with the naked flame.

Frightend the ship out of me aint played with petrol since, and Woooooohhhhhhppppppp is a realy good discription of the sound and the smell of singed hair mmmmm lovely eu de farier.

Fizz laughed until her sides split

Glad Ur Ok H.
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Old Jun 4th 2005, 8:24 pm
  #10  
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Default Re: Now the fire bans over......

Originally Posted by tiredwithtwins
me too!!! pmsl!!!!!! hevs, you are an absolute treasure!!!!!

my kids think im barmy cos im just howling with laughter! - you should write a book.............


ps, remember reading the logs thread.....wasnt it around the time of the chainsaw thread or is that one and the same???

And dont for get the renovations with the little puff of smoke comming from between the timbers......

Still chuckle now
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Old Jun 4th 2005, 9:10 pm
  #11  
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Default Re: Now the fire bans over......

Originally Posted by hevs
And i havn't done one of these for a while (a stupid dooozy that is!!) mainly cos i've been working and not being quite so stupid, but today i was!!

Picture the scene....

We spend weeks moving about 50 tonnes of wood from the bottom of our garden that the kind council men dropped over the fence (about a year ago, but i can't find the thread) This task has been gargantuan and has left us with a pile of crap where our lawn used to be.

So i decided to do the right thing as it was autumn, and build a bonfire..... ( i have even got my slippers on to add to the authenticity)

I was very careful and did it all properly with layers of paper, dry stuff etc. Anyways the paper kept blowing out and i got impatient ( ) and asked HUP if he would kindly place a bit of petrol on the pile. His idea of a bit was about a bowser's worth, but he stood well back and put the can well out of the way.

I light my trusty bit of paper and bend down to put the flame to a bit of paper, quite forgetting that i didn't have to shelter the flame as i had been doing previously.

There was a resounding WOOOOMMMPHHH noise and a great deal of heat up my left side. I realised straight away that my arm was now a depilatory dream and was as smooth as the proverbial babies but. What i didn't realise till a short while ago was that the left side of my hair is all singed and is breaking off and so are my eyelashes, i look ferkin ridiculous.

Oh well, could be much worse i suppose :scared:
DOH!!!

In hindsight it might have been easier to get the chainsaw operating. Next time maybe?

Kerosene is far better than petrol for assisting the starting of fires, less explosive gases.

I see you've dropped the Bombers as your avatar. Your team doing better? Glad to hear you're alright though.
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Old Jun 4th 2005, 10:03 pm
  #12  
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Default Re: Now the fire bans over......

Originally Posted by Bordy
As soon as I read petrol I put my head in my hands & thought Ohhhh s**t.
We were sat indoors watching the slaughter (I mean the Bombers V Ade ). We began discussing the incident and I said it was a prime case for a BE thread.

It still brings a smile to my face as I recall the red and orange petals of flame blossoming out towards Hev as she dances away from it. It wasn't that poetic belieive me .
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Old Jun 4th 2005, 11:21 pm
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Default Re: Now the fire bans over......

Originally Posted by HUP
We were sat indoors watching the slaughter (I mean the Bombers V Ade ). We began discussing the incident and I said it was a prime case for a BE thread.

It still brings a smile to my face as I recall the red and orange petals of flame blossoming out towards Hev as she dances away from it. It wasn't that poetic belieive me .

What the bombers getting thrashed or the fire?

I know. Saw dad light a fire once with what said on the can "kero" but was actually petrol. Flame shot out around his ankles, but he was about seven feet away when it ignited. :scared: Made him jump.

Last edited by The Bloke; Jun 4th 2005 at 11:24 pm.
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Old Jun 4th 2005, 11:31 pm
  #14  
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Default Re: Now the fire bans over......

Poll, it started here

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...4&page=6&pp=15


Thanks guys, glad i made you giggle, i just gave my face a good scrub and i'm now missing a few eyebrows too
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Old Jun 5th 2005, 6:31 am
  #15  
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Default Re: Now the fire bans over......

Originally Posted by hevs
Poll, it started here

http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...4&page=6&pp=15


Thanks guys, glad i made you giggle, i just gave my face a good scrub and i'm now missing a few eyebrows too
Tee hee, that Sludger doesn't know you too well then Hevs! You with a strap-on.....hmmmm..what an image.... :scared: :scared:

How are the eyebrows??
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