positive pam

Hi,has anyone any advice as to how to get through or deal with emotions ,such as guilt.Hope its ok asking about this here.Has anyone gone through retiring and leaving grown up children and young grandchildren behind.I think it seems to be the hardest part of the process and i just wonder if anyone has been through it and perhaps has any advice or tips to help.All contributions greatly appreciated.

Veronica-K

Hi Pam,
I know what you mean as I went through these feelings of guilt when I moved here. It has not been as bad as I had feared as I can talk to my sons and my granchildren on skype anytime and with a webcam you can see them as well. We go back to the UK once a year to visit everyone and make sure we do some fun thigns with the grandkids while we are there.
The hardest part is feeling guilty about leaving my mum as she is alone and not in good health these days. My sons do go to see her as they are only about an hour away from her and she can call them in emergencies but I don't feel good about relying on my sons to take care of their grandmother.
She did come to visit a few times in the first few years we were here but her health no longer allows that.

susiecy

my parents retired from Cyprus after coming for a ten day visit to see me (they had already retired to tenerife at the time!) - the grandkids lived 3hrs drive away and they only saw them on holidays / birthdays for a few hours ...their thinking was it would be better to have them over for 2 whole weeks etc in the sunshine and pool and speak on the phone/skype inbetween ....

compared to my parents friends who stayed in the uk - my parents always looked younger and more chilled ..

when they came to Cyprus they didnt have enough time in the day for all the things they wanted to do .. joined social clubs - helped charities .. made similar friends for dinner parties - playing cards/marjong - ladies societies for luncheons etc - they had a ball and never regretted moving over.
initially they bought a house in Paphos - sold it - lived on the interest and rented a gorgeous house in a village - locals are very helpful and friendly if you take the time for a smile and a wave.
hope this helps!

positive pam

Hi Susiecy and thanks, yes that was helpful. I think you start wondering if grandchildren will forget you if you dont see them as often. Only one of my grandchildren lives nearby and another on the way and i see him a few times a week and i think that is whats so hard. It sounds as though we could end up being really busy and having a good social life though which would be great.And as you say i am sure they would come out for hols and spend more relaxing time and fun time with us. We want to integrate as much as we can with everyone who lives there and i agree a smile can mean a lot. Once again thank you because it is nice to hear from someone who has been through all this and understands.
Best Wishes Pam

Veronica-K

As a property marketing company we do come across people who are wanting to move back to the UK because they miss their grandchildren (mostly the women)
We find though that these are people who have not made a lot of effort to get to know other people and make the most of their lives here.
There are a lot of organisations who rely on volunteers, such as animal charities etc. and that is a very good way to meet people.
Also as susie says having your grandchildren come to visit and spending a whole two weeks of real quality time with them makes up for not seeing them as often.