moving back to where you originally lived or not?

Old Mar 23rd 2006, 11:37 am
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Default moving back to where you originally lived or not?

I want to go back to the life that I had in the UK with the same relatives and friends that I did not truly appreciate at the time but I miss like mad now. I even want my old house back and the little green where all my daughter's friends played and had camping parties.

I know it is probably wrong to look back when you should be looking forward but I was curious to know if people who want to move back to the UK are going to the same area or starting anew in a different area. For me with a boy in Year 10 I just really wish I had not gone to Australia as it has made life difficult for him. He loves it here and doesn't wish to go back but the rest of us want what we had and would not like to start afresh somewhere else in the UK as we want to start living rather than putting everything on hold as we have done over the past few years.
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Old Mar 23rd 2006, 11:45 am
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Default Re: moving back to where you originally lived or not?

Originally Posted by kt.2006
I want to go back to the life that I had in the UK with the same relatives and friends that I did not truly appreciate at the time but I miss like mad now. I even want my old house back and the little green where all my daughter's friends played and had camping parties.

I know it is probably wrong to look back when you should be looking forward but I was curious to know if people who want to move back to the UK are going to the same area or starting anew in a different area. For me with a boy in Year 10 I just really wish I had not gone to Australia as it has made life difficult for him. He loves it here and doesn't wish to go back but the rest of us want what we had and would not like to start afresh somewhere else in the UK as we want to start living rather than putting everything on hold as we have done over the past few years.
we are going back after 15 years and after my stay there last year for six months i suddenly found i was happy just about everywhere in the uk south of the midlands but we are going back because of what the country offers in the way of amenities ,history,culture etc the things that represent who we are and thats english .We wouldnt consider going back for family or friends as we have seen that to many times and people are soon on the plane back to ozzie
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Old Mar 23rd 2006, 11:55 am
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Default Re: moving back to where you originally lived or not?

Originally Posted by kt.2006
I want to go back to the life that I had in the UK with the same relatives and friends that I did not truly appreciate at the time but I miss like mad now. I even want my old house back and the little green where all my daughter's friends played and had camping parties.

How long have you been in Australia?

Even if you had stayed where you were, your life would have change. Are you sure you're not looking for something that's no longer there?


For me with a boy in Year 10 I just really wish I had not gone to Australia as it has made life difficult for him. He loves it here and doesn't wish to go back but the rest of us want what we had and would not like to start afresh somewhere else in the UK as we want to start living rather than putting everything on hold as we have done over the past few years.
If your son likes Australia, it could have quite an effect on him if you take him back to the UK. Especially if he's not a citizen and faces losing his right to return to Australia later on.
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Old Mar 23rd 2006, 11:57 am
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Default Re: moving back to where you originally lived or not?

Originally Posted by sassenach
we are going back after 15 years and after my stay there last year for six months i suddenly found i was happy just about everywhere in the uk south of the midlands but we are going back because of what the country offers in the way of amenities ,history,culture etc the things that represent who we are and thats english .We wouldnt consider going back for family or friends as we have seen that to many times and people are soon on the plane back to ozzie
I agree that it should not just be for friends and family (but you can't help it if that is the main thing that makes you wake up feeling sad). It feels so insular here. I loved British history and culture and I also loved the feeling of being so close to Europe and everything that offered. The other day I was watching the tv and they were showing holiday destinations such as the Greek Islands and it made me remember all the British tv programmes which showed Australia in such a fantastic way.
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Old Mar 23rd 2006, 11:58 am
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Default Re: moving back to where you originally lived or not?

How long have you been away? I think the longer you have been away, the more difficult it is to move back to the same place you left because you have unrealistic expectations (i.e., it can be difficult to adjust to how much it has changed from your dream recollection of it).

I grew up in Birmingham, but would not consider moving back there. Mind you, I don't really have family there any more, and my friends were all high school friends who I have not kept in touch with.

In 2000, I moved back to the Glasgow area and loved it. This summer, I will be moving back to the Cardiff/Pontypridd area and look forward to being "back home", but in a new place.

If I hadn't left the UK long ago, and/or was moving back mostly to be back with supportive familiy and friends who were in one area, I might consider returning to where I came from, but otherwise not.
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Old Mar 23rd 2006, 12:07 pm
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Default Re: moving back to where you originally lived or not?

I was exactly like that - I used to lay in bed every night, shut my eyes and imagine myself back in my old house and wish that emigrating was just a dream and not real. I just wanted to turn back the clock and go back to where I felt safe.
We had made our minds up we were going back home to the town we came from - I even posted on here saying so. At the time though I was pregnant so we decided to wait until the baby was born, wait the six weeks until we could fly and then we were off. Funnily enough was we had made the decision we started to relax and enjoy ourselves because we felt safe that we were going home.
Funny how things turn out because once baby was born and we could have gone we then said let's get Christmas out of the way. To cut a long story short we've decided we're not going back now - we actually like it here now. Sure we miss family and both my nan and gran have both passed away since we've been here which was hard. It hurts when I think that none of my family have seen my yougest daughter who is now 4 and half months.
I'm not saying this would be you just that I understand where you are coming from wanting to go back to your old life and I'm not sure if you've made a definite decision - but it does get easier eventually.
Good luck.
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Old Mar 23rd 2006, 12:08 pm
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Default Re: moving back to where you originally lived or not?

Originally Posted by JAJ
How long have you been in Australia?

Even if you had stayed where you were, your life would have change. Are you sure you're not looking for something that's no longer there?



If your son likes Australia, it could have quite an effect on him if you take him back to the UK. Especially if he's not a citizen and faces losing his right to return to Australia later on.
I have only been here 3 months and yes I know that my life will get better here (it can't get worse as we have struggled finding jobs). I have never felt homesick before but I have such a sick feeling in my stomache some days. Coming to Australia was always my childhood dream and when the points changed in our favour we jumped at it, probably because we were bored with our life in the UK and we were having a mid-life crisis. In retrospect we should have bought a holiday home somewhere in Europe instead. We certainly should not have uprooted the kids away from their very close family and friends I have exchanged a stable happy environment with lots of support for an uncertain future and unpredictable wages.


Yes you are right about that but if I have to wait two years (or possibly three years if it changes) then we might not be a family as I can't believe how fed up the rest of us have become.

Last edited by kt.2006; Mar 23rd 2006 at 12:11 pm.
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Old Mar 23rd 2006, 12:24 pm
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Default Re: moving back to where you originally lived or not?

Originally Posted by kt.2006
I have only been here 3 months and yes I know that my life will get better here (it can't get worse as we have struggled finding jobs). I have never felt homesick before but I have such a sick feeling in my stomache some days. Coming to Australia was always my childhood dream and when the points changed in our favour we jumped at it, probably because we were bored with our life in the UK and we were having a mid-life crisis. In retrospect we should have bought a holiday home somewhere in Europe instead. We certainly should not have uprooted the kids away from their very close family and friends I have exchanged a stable happy environment with lots of support for an uncertain future and unpredictable wages.


Yes you are right about that but if I have to wait two years (or possibly three years if it changes) then we might not be a family as I can't believe how fed up the rest of us have become.
i feel for you i really do i have wanted to go home for years now im going so everything is fine ,dont wait 15 years like me because of stupid pride and hoping itll improve ,it may well do for a while but the homesickness returns thats my experience anyway if you feel you have traded your identity for something you dont like no amount of trying to like it will work all i can say is try and at least get an aussie passport out of it for the effort
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Old Mar 23rd 2006, 12:42 pm
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Default Re: moving back to where you originally lived or not?

Originally Posted by kt.2006
Coming to Australia was always my childhood dream and when the points changed in our favour we jumped at it, probably because we were bored with our life in the UK and we were having a mid-life crisis. In retrospect we should have bought a holiday home somewhere in Europe instead. We certainly should not have uprooted the kids away from their very close family and friends I have exchanged a stable happy environment with lots of support for an uncertain future and unpredictable wages.

I often think back to where we lived before leaving, and remembering how nice it was, but I wouldn't go back to the same place. That would be a step backwards, whereas I would rather continue moving forward to new adventures and places.

If you go back to exactly the same town, even the same house, I'm sure you will very quickly feel that boredom that you had before. It will all become very mundane again very quickly. Even a move to the next town would be better, at least then there would still be a change of scenery, and friends and family would still be close to hand.
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Old Mar 23rd 2006, 10:25 pm
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Default Re: moving back to where you originally lived or not?

Originally Posted by ladyofthelake
I often think back to where we lived before leaving, and remembering how nice it was, but I wouldn't go back to the same place. That would be a step backwards, whereas I would rather continue moving forward to new adventures and places.
If you go back to exactly the same town, even the same house, I'm sure you will very quickly feel that boredom that you had before. It will all become very mundane again very quickly. Even a move to the next town would be better, at least then there would still be a change of scenery, and friends and family would still be close to hand.
I agree with Lady of the Lake. I go back and forth a lot, and it's not just boredom you'll have to deal with. If it's been more than a year or so, the changes can be depressing. For instance, my local has been demolished and replaced by a block of flats, the Odeon's been leveled, and there's a hideous shopping centre where my favourite football ground once stood. So I don't go back there to live. I go a few miles away where I can't tell it's changed because I don't know what it looked like before--I'm all right then.
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Old Mar 23rd 2006, 10:30 pm
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Default Re: moving back to where you originally lived or not?

We too are thinking of returning to England. Still trying to make our minds up at the moment. We have only been here for 5 months and we are on a temporary visa. At the time I was happy to come over on a temp visa but now I feel very insecure, and with no guarantee of a permanent visa I feel I can't settle like I thought I would.
Our dog has already had his rabies jab last week (thanks for the vet recommendations Woodyinoz), so we are beginning to prepare to go back.
We used to live in Frimley in Surrey, but we would not go back there as we wouldn't get our daughters back into their old schools and house prices are pretty high which was one of the reasons we left.
My in-laws have just bought a 150 acre farm near Trowbridge in Wiltshire so it makes sense to move near there. Have already checked out housing and schools and looks good to me. Hubbby should be able to get a job (Class 1 truck driver) in the Bristol area and there seems to be quite a few bookeeping jobs around, just need to find a part time one. Thought also I might start studying for an accountancy qualification probably ACCA. With 3 children it seems to be such a struggle back in the UK. Without a doubt we are better off financially here, ie I don't need to work. Back in the UK I would have to work like I did before.
Our girls like their school here but find the work boring compared to the school they were in back home. I feel that they are not being challenged academically and this they find boring, they keep asking their teachers for more homework!! All 3 girls were in top sets in the Uk and I am worried that they may well have slipped even after only 5 months here. We need to make a decision about going back soon because our middle daughter will have to have preference forms in for Secondary school by October, if we miss that date then the chances are she will end up in a crap secondary school. The good seconadry school have said that they have a place for our eldest daughter in Year 7 at the moment or probably a Year 8 place in September, so I feel like we need to get on and make some decisions. I think the girls would adapt better now to going back than if we went back in say a year or so.
Hubby is 50/50 about going back, I am 60/40 to go back, eldest daughter (age 12) doesn't want to go back, middle daughter (10) is desperate to go back and wants to go to agricultural college eventually, and the youngest (age 9) will just go with the flow!!
Anyone thats gone back thats got any good advice re children settling in to schools etc please replyif you have a mo.Also anyone that is familiar with the area please let me know your views. The school we like is in Bradford on Avon.
Needless to say, the whole thought of selling up here and all the arrangements to be made are daunting but I feel so homesick. I have tried to look into the future and I just don't see it being here, jolly glad we tried tho because I think we will just get on with life in England as that is where we want to be. I have no doubts that I will miss Australia especially the weather, but there is too much about England that I miss.

Phew, I feel better now that I am sharing my thoughts.

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Old Mar 23rd 2006, 10:52 pm
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Default Re: moving back to where you originally lived or not?

Originally Posted by kt.2006
I want to go back to the life that I had in the UK with the same relatives and friends that I did not truly appreciate at the time but I miss like mad now. .

ahhhh shame you sound so sad...me to, if i could turn the clock back..still at least i tried...i've not got children to worry about just moi.....my hubs is fine here but then he would be anywhere....we sold our home in the uk but as i was so miserable a couple of yrs ago we bought a wee pied a terre for me to call home and that is home for me and it helps....as for you, well your son is young enough and will pick up where he left off, maybe a bit difficult in the beginning but he'll be fine, kids adjust much easier than we do....i know you probably feel guilty if you move back but he will be fine. good luck with your dilemma
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Old Mar 23rd 2006, 11:03 pm
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Default Re: moving back to where you originally lived or not?

[QUOTE=kt.2006]you can't help it if that is the main thing that makes you wake up feeling sad). It feels so insular here. I loved British history and culture and I also loved the feeling of being so close to Europe and everything that offered. QUOTE]

i've just read your post above and reminded me to tell you that i have just returned from blighty after a couple of weeks over there and each morning i'd wake up and think 'yes i'm home'...and as you say so close to europe, my hubs and i took eurostar and spent the weekend in paris as we used to do and just lived life...i do understand where you are coming from but then you've not been away too long. things change back home but it's still home for me anyway..and who cares about the weather, all you hear from the brits emigrating is 'ohh it'll be good to have sunshine'...i tell you after 4 yrs i'm sick of the bl**dy sunshine and you know what...the sunshine fixes jack sh*t...lol so i guess home is where your heart is no matter what. hope you can make a decision soon and move forward. take care
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Old Mar 24th 2006, 12:18 am
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Default Re: moving back to where you originally lived or not?

Originally Posted by sassenach
i......... if you feel you have traded your identity for something you dont like no amount of trying to like it will work all i can say is try and at least get an aussie passport out of it for the effort
i agree. if you are a person you dont prefer, why force youself through time to accept yourself as this other person?
i think a subtle reason why getting residency is changing from 2 - 3yrs is because the longer you stay, the harder it is to return, the more you asimilate. if you dont want to be Australian, go while you can, give your son a good education so he has the skills to travel here himself when hes older if thats what he wants to do. Australia will still be there for him.
Just make sure you and the rest of your family are ready to "go for it" back in the uk because it is after a very short amount of time.
i cant talk - going back after 8mnths but scared about the personalities we were becomming - but people see things different ways and you will need the support from your OH even if youre doing what you want to do.
good luck with your decisions and remember what ever you decide - there is no definate right or wrong answer here.\its about feelings.
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Old Mar 24th 2006, 12:54 am
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Default Re: moving back to where you originally lived or not?

Originally Posted by kt.2006
I have only been here 3 months and yes I know that my life will get better here (it can't get worse as we have struggled finding jobs). I have never felt homesick before but I have such a sick feeling in my stomache some days. Coming to Australia was always my childhood dream and when the points changed in our favour we jumped at it, probably because we were bored with our life in the UK and we were having a mid-life crisis. In retrospect we should have bought a holiday home somewhere in Europe instead. We certainly should not have uprooted the kids away from their very close family and friends I have exchanged a stable happy environment with lots of support for an uncertain future and unpredictable wages.

With the greatest of respect, 3 months is way too short to know whether the move is the right one for you. It's smack in the middle of the culture shock experience ....

If it's your childhood dream that you're living out, why abandon it after such a short period of time?

You may not want to hear this, but realistically you need to give it 3-4 years (and preferably get citizenship in that period). If you still feel unsettled then, then by all means consider your options.

Many people - admittedly not all, but many people - who have successfully migrated have thanked themselves for not following the impulse to "go home" at an early stage of the process.
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