jwhmilne

Hey,

I'm a British citizen, I met my fiancee online and we started talking July 2013, since that day we talked every day and have accumulated nearly 200,000 Facebook messages not to mention Whats-app and hours of Skype every night for months and months.

I started to save money so I could meet her. In February 2014, the 24th - I flew to Peru with a 3 month return flight. We were so sure we were meant to be together, and we were right. We spent every day together, she stopped working so we had all the time together, I could support us.

We went traveling to the south of Peru together, and we have hundreds of photographs. Towards the end of the second month, my mother in England unexpectedly passed away, needless to say I had to rearrange my return flight and fly home the next day.

Now we are trying to figure out a process to bring her to England, and we want to be back together before the end of the year.
She is 28, I am 21. She has a young daughter (7), she will not bring her daughter because she is looked after by her grandparents and larger family.

She proposed to me, I had planned to propose to her when we were back together, but this works out okay.

I am a bartender and soon to be a duty manager, I have recently had a discussion with my employer and explained my situation after realizing I need to earn a minimum of £18,600/year. He told me that it could be possible, and he will get back to me on this.

I think the best thing for me to do.. is focus on earning the required amount, visit her in Peru, get married there, and bring her back to live with me.


Anybody have any help/suggestions/questions for me?
I'd really appreciate it.

englishguygoinghome

It sounds like your plan is the most likely to succeed.

You have alternatives to be together: in the rest of Europe, maybe in Peru, maybe other countries. In these cases too the experience of being a duty manager would set you up a lot better to find a job (probably in/running an English/Irish bar in a tourist / expat area).

If what you want is to be together in England then go with your plan and good luck!

formula

Your £18,600 to show you can afford to sponsor a wife, doesn't have to be from just one job.

Once she has a spouse visa, she can work and her earnings can be used with yours, for her further visa applications to ILR (Indefinate Leave to Remain).

Marrying in her country and applying for a spouse visa, will save you the fee of having to apply for an extra visa for her.

I'm not sure how long a spouse visa would take from Peru and depending on that time and how much holiday leave you can take, you might not be able to bring her back with you. She can't apply for a spouse visa before she is married to you and she will have to wait for that visa before she can join you in the UK.

Englishmum

You are very young. Is this your first serious relationship?

As a mother myself, I could not even contemplate leaving a 'young daughter (7) behind'. How cruel and selfish of your girlfriend to even think about doing that so she can marry you to get residency in the UK and have an adventure living overseas (presumably at your expense?) and dumping her with relatives because it's more convenient. I guess the bio father isn't in the picture - if your GF was married to him, are they now divorced?

I know you don't want to hear it, but your GF comes as a 'package' and the poor little girl will feel so terribly distraught if she is abandoned because her mother swans off to the other side of the world - it may even lead to her suffering from lifelong psychiatric problems.

What I strongly suggest is that *you* move to Peru where you and your GF will have a ready-made family.... but at 21 do you want the responsibilities of fatherhood? Have you thought about the scenario where your GF might get very homesick and decide to move back to Peru - with or without you?

I'm fully aware that in the early stages of a relationship it is often all about lust......sometimes it leads to lasting love. Again, at 21 time is on your side so don't rush into marriage....it's easy to get married but far more difficult and expensive to get out of it.

Foffion

It's their life, not yours. You can't tell them what to do. It's easy to judge, you know almost nothing about them.

englishguygoinghome

Wow Englishmum!
I'm not going to pretend to know much about Peruvian culture, and I'm not going to disagree with you in the context of a "Western" (Europe, US, Australia etc) set up, but the comments you made just wouldn't hold true in other parts of the world, particularly in Asia. Have you thought about whether that is maybe the case here?
I personally know people who have left their kids with their sisters and mothers to look after while they went abroad to earn money. I know people who have left their kids with their parents for a year or more simply because it was best for the kids at the time. I know of fathers who have left wife and kids with their parents for months or years during overseas placements.

It seems harsh, but maybe what the lady in this story is doing isn't considered abnormal in Peru and maybe the child will therefore not suffer at all because of it. A lot of the feeling of abandonment would come from a marked change in circumstances and the reaction of others to the situation. Perhaps the grandmother and aunt are the ones the child is mainly bonded with anyway - for whatever reason.

Personally I would consider whether someone who could leave a 7 year old child behind is someone I would want to be with but the OP seems to have done that, I hope it works out for him.

windsong

Well, I agree with EnglishMum - it's selfish for a mother to leave her seven-year old daughter simply to get "married". If there was some other very good reason maybe it would be the only solution that could be found (and then only maybe) but to get married????

It's clear the woman hasn't thought about the long-term effects on her young daughter of being without her mother.

I wonder what plans the mother has to have her daughter be eventually reunited with her - if any. Hmm . . .

She needs to put her daughter first.

Englishmum

Well, I lived in SE Asia for a few years and had live-in maids from the Philippines, Sri Lanka and Myanmar (Burma) so I'm fully aware that to put food on the table and to feed their kids they've gone to work as domestic workers or shop assistants in Hong Kong, Singapore, the Middle East & Cyprus etc. The very lucky ones manage to get jobs in nursing in the UK and USA and are like millionaires back home.

The Philippine govt. actively encourages their citizens to take up employment overseas, purely to remit money home to support their extended families - there is no such entity as welfare benefits, if you don't work, you starve. Plenty of maids chose and choose not to go on 'home leave' as they knew that there would be a 'meet and greet' with all the siblings, cousins etc. looking for a hand-out.

However; many of the maids do return home for good once their children's school/college fees are paid off - they earn far more than they can earn in the Philippines/Indonesia/Sri Lanka etc. - indeed it is common for maids to buy land and property in their home countries. AFAIK it is pretty much unheard of for them to marry a 'farang' and susequently abandon their children for good back home.

Savithri, our Sri Lankan maid was a widow and had to leave her 16 year old daughter behind to work in Singapore. She missed her terribly. Other maids we knew of left very young babies and toddlers behind (their husband's never seemed to do any work) and would often concoct a story that their father was dying so they could get a trip home to see their children. It's very sad indeed and that's the reality of life for those from Third World countries.

I don't know the situation of the O/P's fiancee eg. if she is impoverished or not or if she has a decent career (although seems to be ok if she has access to Skype/internet). However, alarm bells should be ringing for him if his GF is prepared to just leave her child to move to the UK. No doubt money will need to be remitted to Peru to keep the rellies happy. He also needs to consider what may happen if she has a baby with him one day.....?

zuluswede

As far as I can tell, the OP isn't asking for comments and opinions on the motives of his girlfriend or his relationship. Whilst I understand this is a public forum, opinions and judgments here are rarely helpful. The OP has asked for help with navigating the quagmire that is UK immigration, not whether "he is doing the right thing" or "the odds hes picked a gooden!". Any opinions and comments on the "soundness" of his relationship are absent of all the "facts", outside the scope of his original request and not helpful to him. My dear departed mum always told me that if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all. I've found that advice to work very well in public forums.

Foffion

My dear departed mum always told me that if you can't say anything nice then don't say anything at all. I've found that advice to work very well in public forums.[/QUOTE]

Absolutely agree. Your mother was a great woman.

Foffion

Anyway jwhmilne,
my brother is British and he is married to a Peruvian woman. She got her UK Spouse Visa but before all the rules changed so it was relatively easy to get it. She now has British Citizenship. She has been living in the UK for something like 4-5 years. She is an incredibly friendly person and if your Peruvian girlfriend wants to talk to her to know how life is in the UK (for a Peruvian person) I am sure she will be happy to exchange a few emails. They live in Brighton. Ciao.
Vivien

zuluswede

So nice of you to say that, thank you Foffion.

Aaroncito

Hi any chance of getting in touch.. i am going through the same problem my fiancee is peruvian we met in peru last year i stayed there for 15months and now am back working in the UK trying to get her out here to stay with me i also live in the brighton.. peace

Foffion

Hello,
yes, I don't see why not.

Aaroncito

thank you i really could do with speaking to somebody who has done the process. same for my girl would be great to exchange emails for her to talk to your brothers wife. <<<snip>>>