Husband and I divorced, he wants to move to London

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Old May 26th 2013, 6:40 pm
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Default Husband and I divorced, he wants to move to London

Hi,

slight complicated situation. my husband and I are divorced (we have two children who were born in canada) and I am british. At the moment life in Toronto is great. We have good jobs and even living apart, the kids have a great quality of life.

He was born in Toronto and is tired of life there and wants to move to London but needs me to go as well (due to the kids) He says kids will have a better life in London (they have never been to England) He can live and work there because his family is part British. i am a british citizen.

I am very wary about taking kids out of great quality of life, good education etc and moving them to London where both of us will not have a job, cost of living compared to Toronto is astronomical. We both have to live in London due to our career fields. We then both have to live in separate houses so costs will double

I know that once i sign to say we can go thats it. We arrive in London and if it doesn't work out for me, once we separate, i will never be able to return to Canada as he won't sign to move back.

Is it really worth leaving my $60k job (he earns more than i do) to arrive in London with no job, no family, no contacts with the "hope" we all have a better life?

Last edited by BritExpatCanada; May 26th 2013 at 7:31 pm. Reason: factual
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Old May 26th 2013, 7:14 pm
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Default Re: Husband and I divorced, he wants to move to London

Originally Posted by BritExpatCanada
Hi,

slight complicated situation. my husband and I are separating (we have two young kids who were born in canada) and I am british. Even though we are separating he wants to move us all to London for a better life. At the moment life in Toronto is great. We have good jobs and even when separated, the kids have a great quality of life.

He was born in Toronto and is tired of life there and wants to move to London but needs me to go as well (due to the kids) She says kids will have a better life in London (they have never been to England) He can live and work there because his family is part British. i am a british citizen.

I am very wary about taking kids out of great quality of life, good education etc and moving them to London where both of us will not have a job, cost of living compared to Toronto is astronomical. We both have to live in London due to our career fields. We then both have to live in separate houses so costs will double

I know that once i sign to say we can go thats it. We arrive in London and if it doesn't work out for me, once we separate, i will never be able to return to Canada as he won't sign to move back.

Is it really worth leaving my $60k job (he earns more than i do) to arrive in London with no job, no family, no contacts with the "hope" we all have a better life?
You already know the answer to this don't you? They are not (or will not be) your spouse, why even consider it? You got divorced for a reason, assert your independence. Do I detect some kind of bullying from your (ex)-spouse over this issue?
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Old May 26th 2013, 7:25 pm
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Default Re: Husband and I divorced, he wants to move to London

I haven't lived in the UK for over 12 years. Both of us work in niche job fields and although i wouldn't mind moving, i don't think its the best life for the kids to go from Toronto to inner city london..... Our quality of life concerning extra-curricular activities, amount of apartment space, safety, would drastically change. I have a good amount of money left over each month to travel with kids etc, moving to london would be me virtually no money left over.
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Old May 26th 2013, 8:05 pm
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Default Re: Husband and I divorced, he wants to move to London

Originally Posted by BritExpatCanada
I haven't lived in the UK for over 12 years. Both of us work in niche job fields and although i wouldn't mind moving, i don't think its the best life for the kids to go from Toronto to inner city london..... Our quality of life concerning extra-curricular activities, amount of apartment space, safety, would drastically change. I have a good amount of money left over each month to travel with kids etc, moving to london would be me virtually no money left over.
You say he has British relatives...but is he British? If not he cannot just up and move to the UK.

Think very hard about your decision...because once your children have UK residency I think it will be very difficult for you to take them back to Canada if you cannot settle in the UK without his permission.

As Kim posted...I think you already know the answer.
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Old May 26th 2013, 8:31 pm
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Default Re: Husband and I divorced, he wants to move to London

Originally Posted by Jerseygirl
You say he has British relatives...but is he British? If not he cannot just up and move to the UK.

Think very hard about your decision...because once your children have UK residency I think it will be very difficult for you to take them back to Canada if you cannot settle in the UK without his permission.

As Kim posted...I think you already know the answer.
I agree with the above posters
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Old May 26th 2013, 8:46 pm
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Default Re: Husband and I divorced, he wants to move to London

His grandparents were British so he thinks he can move on ancestry visa. Kids can get British passport automatically from me but not him.
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Old May 26th 2013, 10:22 pm
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Default Re: Husband and I divorced, he wants to move to London

Originally Posted by BritExpatCanada
His grandparents were British so he thinks he can move on ancestry visa. Kids can get British passport automatically from me but not him.
Grandparents do not convey citizenship - only parents. So if that is the case, you are looking at a spouse visa - and since you are divorced, that's not possible.
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Old May 26th 2013, 10:37 pm
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Default Re: Husband and I divorced, he wants to move to London

But ancestry says you can bring your children over and actually my kids do have British grandparents
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Old May 26th 2013, 11:14 pm
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Default Re: Husband and I divorced, he wants to move to London

Originally Posted by BritExpatCanada
But ancestry says you can bring your children over and actually my kids do have British grandparents
Actually, I was referring to your ex who says he can claim citizenship through grandparents (or did I misunderstand?). Your children are British because you are, not because of their grandparents.
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Old May 26th 2013, 11:28 pm
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Default Re: Husband and I divorced, he wants to move to London

yes that is correct. its a long shot for him but i need to cover all my bases. its one thing o try to take them to the uk but its another it he doesn't even have right visas.

i imagine he believes he can take them because his grandparents were british, and our children can apply for british passports. regardless of whether i go or not, does he still have the ability to live there, using ancestry to get in then after 4-5 years apply for citizenship? even without me? and without us being married?
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Old May 26th 2013, 11:41 pm
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Default Re: Husband and I divorced, he wants to move to London

Originally Posted by perthhomeschool
Grandparents do not convey citizenship - only parents. So if that is the case, you are looking at a spouse visa - and since you are divorced, that's not possible.
People whose grandparents were British can get an ancestry visa. It's a temporary visa conditional on the applicant being able to be self sufficient (i.e. be employed) for 5 years which then leads to PR and eventual citizenship.

The OP's children would be British by descent (from the OP) so would already have citizenship.
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Old May 26th 2013, 11:44 pm
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Default Re: Husband and I divorced, he wants to move to London

Originally Posted by BritExpatCanada
yes that is correct. its a long shot for him but i need to cover all my bases. its one thing o try to take them to the uk but its another it he doesn't even have right visas.

i imagine he believes he can take them because his grandparents were british, and our children can apply for british passports. regardless of whether i go or not, does he still have the ability to live there, using ancestry to get in then after 4-5 years apply for citizenship? even without me? and without us being married?
Yes, he does. He can apply for the ancestry visa which I have briefly explained above (we're Canadian and looked into it a few years ago). Take a look at the UK Home Office website for visa options for him.

Although, if you don't want your children to move to London then don't let them move to London. Simples! They're Canadian citizens and usually resident in Canada, so there is no obligation for them to move with their father if he wants to go. If it's that important for him to live in London then let him live in London - you and your children do not have to go anywhere.

Have you got Canadian citizenship? I'm assuming you have PR since you've been there for a number of years. However it may be a good idea to get your citizenship as well.
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Old May 26th 2013, 11:49 pm
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Default Re: Husband and I divorced, he wants to move to London

ok thanks, Yes, i am applying for citizenship at the moment to get that done.

thanks for all your help
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Old May 27th 2013, 5:46 am
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Default Re: Husband and I divorced, he wants to move to London

Sounds like there is some emotional blackmail going on and he is probably pressuring you.

If he is tired of life in Toronto let him move elsewhere in Canada - what is more important to him, being around his children (in their homeland) or satisfying his own needs or wishes?

He is not thinking of your children in this scenario, he is thinking of himself.

If the children and you are happy tell him thanks but no thanks. I wouldn't agree to him having them over to the UK for vacations either, let him come to see them.

As my dear old Dad used to say "when in doubt, don't".

Just my 2c worth.

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Old May 27th 2013, 6:18 am
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Default Re: Husband and I divorced, he wants to move to London

Who has legal custody of the children?

Is it possible to send him over for a few months to "get established" before you uproot everyone else?
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