cornishvellan

I really want to stress that I don't want to go back to the UK in order to scrounge (also because I haven't paid into the system for almost 20 years so I understand people who get uptight about people like me using the facilities, etc and then leaving) but I genuinely wanted my child to be born British. I'm proud of my nationality (I suppose being away for so long makes me cling on to my identity even more) and want to transmit that to my child.

On the 3rd of April my dogs and cat had their anti-rabies shot so I was REALLY planning to leave this year (3rd May blood tests-wait a couple of months and then pack them off to parents-in-law whilst me and hubbie found a home and secure jobs in the UK).

Why does life have to be so complicated?

moneypenny20

If you are British born, as JAJ says you will be able to get "British by Descent" for your child if he/she is born in Italy.

Many congratulations to you and your husband. I have to temper that with the same thing that someone else mentioned. Unfortunately it is not uncommon to miscarry very early on so getting stressed about what your future holds will not do either of you any good so I would sincerely suggest that you put every on the backburner and carry on with your regular life until you have passed the 12 week point.

With regard to work in the UK, if you don't go back until the first trimester is passed, it will be fairly hard to suppress the fact that you are pregnant so would probably have to some type of temp work but if the only reason for going back is to have the baby born British, then I would stay put but I know nothing about Italian hospitals. However if they are anything like Greek public hospitals, I'd hightail back to the UK at about 7 1/2 months and have the baby there

Tootsie Frickensprinkles

Maternity provision and child beneifts are in no way scrounging

Particularly with maternity - no work, no get! IMO the maternity benefits and provisions have less to do with the money and more to do with the rights anyway. Anyone working has and deserves those rights.

Edit: You've been in an EU country paying tax and living a working life, its hardly like people that bugger off to tak free havens run the UK down and then FO back at any sign of trouble to the NHS - that's what gets people uptight.

Check out the new laws, plan if you want to use any of the provisions and try to minimise the stress as much as you can.

JAJ

He has two options:

1. Wait 5 years to become a Permanent Resident (automatically) and then he can apply for naturalisation; or

2. After arriving in the U.K. make a (paid) application for a spouse visa and then after 2 years make a further (charged) application for Indefinite Leave to Remain. That way, he could become naturalised British after 3 years in total (ie, 2 years more quickly than the first route).

cornishvellan

My sister told me that I was disgusting even thinking about coming back to the UK to have a baby-and my sister is a nurse!!! She's forever complaining about people returning, getting care through the NHS and then buggering off-I agree with her especially when people run the UK and the NHS down. However, she knows that I want to move back to the UK and have done for quite some time (I had an interview at the end of Jan this year but didn't get the job and also had another interview in May last year but I didn't get that either-bit unlucky when it comes to job interviews).

Yesterday I went to see the gynaecologist for my first check-up-she told me that I'm 6-8 weeks pregnant!!! Today I'm going to have a scan so I'll know more of what's going on. Here in Italy the national health is a nightmare so I've had to go private which will cost a good ol' 1,300 euros (approx 1,040 GBP) and that's not including the scans or the hospital fees. I'm sure I would have had the same service through the NHS-for free.

When I conceived it wasn't a good moment in my life. My father died on the 26th Feb and on the 28th I got a high temperature of 39.5 (103) so I took antibiotics plus other medicine. I went to the UK on the 4th March for my father's funeral and then returned on the 8th. I really really hope that none of the stress, illness and depression didn't affect me badly. I woke up again early this morning worrying about it all. And believe me, I've got loads to worry about now that Berlusconi has got into power again. I really wish that I could go to the UK tomorrow but I haven't got anywhere to stay. I haven't told my brothers about the pregnancy yet and my sister didn't give a t***. All I can do is wait to this evening and see what happens. I'll keep you all updated!

Thank god there are forums like these otherwise I would have been cut off from the English speaking world completely. Thank you to everyone who has written to me, it's been a huge support (getting emotional now!!!)

cornishvellan

Hi JAJ, I found this which explains everything:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_nationality_law

lilibet

Congrats on your happy news and I hope you manage to return to the UK. I have already had a baby hear in Italy so know the ropes. From my experience you should try and be where you feel you would get more support. If you are going to make the move, would be better sooner rather than later. All the best drop me a line if I can be of help.

Tootsie Frickensprinkles

Gosh! With all due respect, two proverbial fingers to the "disgusting" comment. But people who havent been away just dont understand so it can't be helped.

It's terribly, terribly difficult, the anxiety, the guilt and worry about the anxiety and the practical hurdles that seem insurmountable. It will all work out however, if you end up having to stay in Italy then it wont be a disaster either. You have no limits on the time you have to get home, you wont have to adhere to airline regulations should that ever have come into play so you will at least be able to travel home if the plan falls into place.

Take care and try to relax .. =)

cornishvellan

Went for my first scan and found out that I am 6 weeks pregnant. I have to go back on the 29th to have THE most important scan. The doctor told me that if there is a heartbeat then I should be having a normal pregnancy. Blood tests on the 24th as well (whole list of things to be checked). So I can't make any decisions at the moment. I can only decide what to do when I've been given the all clear.

Littletoe

Hi there and congrats!

I was in a similiar position when I was pregnant with my second. We were living in Mexico City and although the healthcare was absolutely second to none, I did worry about giving birth in Spanish! I wanted to be comfortable with speaking my own language! I also wanted family and friends around. I flew back when I was 32 weeks pregnant (an OB had to give me written permission). You could always temp, that's what I did in both my previous pregnancies. More flexibility and less ansgty about the pregnancy. I'm afraid whether its illegal or not, permanent jobs aren't worth it while you're pregnant. No matter where you travel in the world, a pregnant woman is a no-no! You'll need time off for scans, and if you get sick. Plus, when you've given birth you might not want to return, so its a gamble for an employer. I'd stick to temping, then you have more control.

Its utter nonsense that people gripe about scrounging off the NHS. My husband and I paid HUGE taxes when we lived in the UK. To contribute to the shoddy system. In fact, since we've lived in NZ we've continued to pay NI contributions and taxes to the UK and we're not even using it! (my husband is employed by a UK company). Furthermore, we pay taxes here in NZ and pay to go private!! So if anyone gives you a hard time, say we're covering you!

Hey, good luck! Second trimester is really the only time you've got to get moving!

cornishvellan

Its utter nonsense that people gripe about scrounging off the NHS. My husband and I paid HUGE taxes when we lived in the UK. To contribute to the shoddy system. In fact, since we've lived in NZ we've continued to pay NI contributions and taxes to the UK and we're not even using it! (my husband is employed by a UK company). Furthermore, we pay taxes here in NZ and pay to go private!! So if anyone gives you a hard time, say we're covering you!

Hey, good luck! Second trimester is really the only time you've got to get moving![/QUOTE]

And do you know what's so funny about my sister's comment(s)? When she came here to the south of Italy to visit me she cried when she saw the hospitals. She said 'how can you stay here?'. But now that she's seen that my parents-in-law have a swimming pool, she thinks that we must live a fantastic lifestyle. I haven't had a proper job in 3 years but do loads of voluntary work and my husband earns £900 a month-so I can hardly say that we are rolling in it (we pay £900, one wage packet just in car insurance a year). Yes, we're lucky, we don't pay rent but that's enabled me to pay for an education through the OU month by month, which I know will help me in the future.

My sister and her husband earn a fortune. They live in a lovely home in one of the richest areas in the UK (Reigate, Surrey). The children have gone to fantastic schools and now the eldest is taking a degree at Roehampton in dance. You see, I look at it this way, my sister has two girls and you never know what the future holds. They may decide to leave the UK and live somewhere for experience. And who knows, they might fall pregnant just when they are living outside of the UK. What will my sister have to say then? Will she let them come home? Or will she tell them that they are disgusting wanting to return?

Sorry a bit of a rant there. Just needed to get some anger out!

lulu41

Hiya

Just to say quickly really, that last August I had a baby, we were living in Spain at the time still are, but to cut the story short we went back to the UK so I could have the baby hoping to stay there but unforseen circumtances didnt allow us to make a fresh start on that occasion, I am still glad I went back for the birth, the medical system was letting me down here in Spain BIG time, and they have old fashioned ideas about birthing in some areas OURS was one of them, I think and I dont care what anyone else says, that the NHS is the best service you can get in the world the UK, I actually moved back at the last min 36 weeks pregnant and journey was a nightmare she was born by C Section at 38 weeks, I even lied to get on the ferry crossing I would say go for it, we still plan to move back when we have sold our villa

Good Luck and a HUGE congratulations

PS the medical staff were brilliant when I gave birth in Dorchester Dorset

TruBrit

great news V....

Cuddly Duddly

Take my advice. Leave it until the last moment, pop, and get out as soon as you are fit enough. If you stay in what was once Great Britain, you may have to have the baby brought up as a muslim! Best of British luck.

Dazzo

Hey, just wanted to say congratulations and Snap, I did my test on Saturday morning (only 1 day late!) and we have only been trying for a couple of months after years of thinking I couldn't!

Anyway my circumstances are a little different, I have just moved to France but am a little confused as to where to have my baby etc... however reading some of the posts on here have helped me already but I know exactly how you must be feeling at the moment... my thread: http://britishexpats.com/forum/newre...te=1&p=6200614

I have so many thoughts running through my mind even though it is still very early stages you can't help but think of everything already, it is a lot to take in when you have convinced yourself for years this day might never come!

I will keep checking your thread to see how you go on,

Good Luck xx