englishguygoinghome

Hi Laowai,

Really sorry to hear your story. You have my heartfelt sympathy, I was nearly in your situation too - thankfully we got scared by the general deterioration of our experience of working through visa applications that we decided to return before these changes started getting dicussed; there but for the grace of god, as they say.

Glad to hear you at least have a job and a light at the end of the tunnel.

Do you feel up to trying to get a major tabloid onto your story? Is your family suitably photogenic? It may help both you and others.

callowman

Welcome to the forum, and yes these new rules have thrown us all under the bus
but, from what I read it was done to stop all these arranged marriages etc from Pakistan and India but it had to be for everyone to avoid "looking racist"

I for one am all in favour of stopping immigration from Pakistan an India and Africa (we even have Somali gangs in London now)

but a bigger problem is with the EU open borders-and all the eastern Europeans arriving for benefits and homes etc when are they going to do something about that ???
I believe when the people *finally* get a referendum on the EU it will be a resounding OUT ! especially after the Hamza an Qatada debacle (Hamza -although kicked out his family still there on benefits).......

callowman

PS I believe its easier to get your pet into the UK than your wife !!

I am in the US with an American wife and the same rules apply to us re the 18k

so much for the "special relationship" I guess that only applies to military and terrorism...

Former Laowai

I'm not exaggerating when I say that my wife is the most beautiful woman on this planet and our boys are absolutely gorgeous.
Many friends have urged me to go down this route but taking all into account my wife and I feel it's best for us (selfish we know) to keep our heads down and jump through the hoops. I don't think prospective employers really want the baggage that might appear to come with us in the tabloids and on daytime TV.
I do though have plans to protest and campaign to help others, but only when the time is right.

WEBlue

Laowai, I know at least two US/UK families with young children who are so frightened of the scenario you and your family have found yourselves in that they have given up (at least for the present) on a long, fondly-held plan to return to family and friends in the UK. They're saving up their money but may not be able make the move for many years...if ever.

It's tragic. I feel for your family and my two friends' families and all the other families that are enduring this separation from family members they want to be near and a country they once called their "own" which is now preventing their repatriation.

Shame on them indeed!!!!!

Former Laowai

...and I feel for your friends WEBlue.

Like most people on this forum I have a heck of a lot of experience that can be of great benefit to British society if only I'm allowed the chance to share it.

This policy is wrong on so many levels. I've already gone through the phases and emotions of shock and disbelief, anger and resentment, self-pity, self-loathing, and finally whimpering acceptance. What man allows his family to be split up like this? I've let my wife down and feel so sorry for her returning to China and having to explain to everyone why Britain won't allow her to be with me and her little boys. If the situation were reversed I'm sure our politicians would be in uproar. Already my boys refuse to use their mother tongue and will only speak to their mum if she uses English. It's not their fault, it's perfectly natural and understandable, but it breaks my heart and of course my wife's.

I've considered going to the China Daily newspaper, but my wife and I both feel that we need to do what's best for us and our family in the first instance, and protesting loudly is actually more likely to make things worse for us during this time apart.

On this issue I ought to explain a little more. I wrote to my MP asking if there was any way my wife could be allowed to extend her visit. He then wrote to the minister for immigration, Mark Harper, on our behalf. Since we hadn't heard back the day before my wife's visa was set to expire, we decided to do the right thing and she flew home.

2 weeks later and I finally heard back from Harper. Not only was it a resounding "no" to my wife extending her visit, he actually claims that my request apparently makes it clear that my wife intended to deceive UKBA and that she should have been refused entry!!! Although such deception does not affect spouse visa applications it does mean that she cannot apply to visit the UK for 10 years!!! Absolutely ridiculous, barbaric and just plain wrong since settling was never her intention and certainly not when we first applied for her visa to visit (initially it was just to attend a family reunion with my younger brother's family, also expats, making a first visit home with their firstborn).

So you see I feel quite threatened by the minister and although I immediately sent him a strong reply demanding an apology, I've since realized that it's a fight I won't win and that it's better to, well, to button-it :-(

BristolUK

And shame on those supporting it.

A simple exception for people having been married for a minimum period would have resolved that.

WEBlue

This is unbelievable! I'm gob-smacked, and I HAVE heard some dire stories of legitimate foreign tourists targetted by UKBA for "possible" intention (not reality but intention) to overstay with little to no proof of such intent....

UKBA is out of control, and as BristolUK points out those both in power and in the country at large who assent to these rules are completely misguided. This kind of punitive barrier to honest Brits and their LEGAL long-time foreign partners is NOT going to solve the problems of ILLEGAL immigration and abuse of services. It's punishing the wrong party, and is utterly unfair.

rukiddingme

I wrote to Theresa May, this was one of my points, particularly since they used to have the been married for 4 years outside the UK which allowed an application for indefinite leave to remain. The response to that particular point was that we don't want people who've just turned up having access to the 'services' i.e NHS!!! Quite unbelievable. In my case my OH would as he's a kiwi and there's reciprocal arrangements in place with some of the commonwealth countries. The whole policy is using a sledge hammer to crack a nut!

index44

It seems my posts have been deleted as they contained links to other sites.
One was a e-petition against these new family immigration rules, the other was to an action group committed to overturning these rules. In my opinion action is what is required not words so I shall take my fight elsewhere.

Former Laowai

That's a shame Index, I'm interested in this action group you speak of.
I'm new here too and I intend to get involved in lots of different discussions, so apologies all if for now it looks like this is all I care about coz that isn't the case!

Although I have my reasons for not wanting to be prominent in any protest (primarily because I have reason to believe the minister for immigration has marked my cards), I am very keen to help the cause in any other way.

I finally got a start date for my new job and it is exactly 6 months before our eldest son's 6th birthday, so I'll be sure to include some motherless birthday snaps in with our application

Once my wife is here, that's when I'll be happy to have our story splashed all over the tabloids... just can't take any risks before then.

michali

I understand how you feel, Former Laowai, about protesting publicly too much. I too would have reservations. These new laws are causing such distress and make me so angry but I would not want to do anything to jeopardize even a visitor's visa at this point. Maybe I am paranoid and I admire those who are willing to sign petitions etc. I had thought of writing to the newspapers regarding the whole issue but realize that is a waste of time. I have a feeling nothing is going to change now, regardless of the noise in the marketplace, hundreds of families are going to be put through immense stress and many will no longer be able to return to their homeland.

englishguygoinghome

I assume that you would be using those photos to show the UKBA that the marriage isn't genuine because your wife doesn't live with you and doesn't attend major family functions?

(Sorry for using sarcasm to get the point across)

dontheturner

What you are saying, EGGH, is perfectly valid. But when my Thai Wife and I are out and about - Shopping etc., as you are well aware, One holds the camera, and the other poses. - Never found a way to shoot us both - so only our wedding shots, show us together. All shots of us both, are in the memory of friends phone cards, etc., Another point - most shots, have no date on them - and if you date the shots afterwards, they will be aware they are ''Photoshopped'' (Only wedding shot, shows us together, and is my Avatar!) Regards Don

Former Laowai

Heehee, yes you make a totally valid point about how ironic and daft the policy is. I think I'll have to get some pictures of us having the skype equivalent of phone-nookie