Still Homesick after a year!
Jan 16th 2014, 12:02 am
#76
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: Calgary, AB
Posts: 487
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
Been feeling homesick lately as health wise haven't had a particularly great time and workload just seems to grow by the day.
Jan 18th 2014, 4:14 pm
#77
Just Joined
Joined: Jan 2014
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 13
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
I really feel for you. Moving to another country is very brave, to say the least. And coming here can be a bit of a culture shock. Time has a way of helping us get used to the vastness of the place, and some of the differences. It doesn't happen overnight. It does take time. For some, longer than others. For some, not at all. A person has to look forward, rather than back. There are good and bad things in both places.
It seems to make a big difference in how a person settles, in how and why they came here, and with whom. If you're very young, and come with parents and family, it seems that you start to fit in much sooner than if you come over as an adult, say, with just a spouse, or with children too. You worry about whether you've made the right decision. That can sometimes make you question, and second guess yourself, and then make you look at where you are and how you're living, more closely. Doubts that make you think you're homesick and things aren't "greener on the other side".
I emigrated here when I was 17. My father said that, if I still didn't like it after two years, he'd pay for me to go back to the U.K.
Within those two years, things happened, like my marriage and children. And although, even after being here 44 years, I still sometimes get homesick, yes, it's true.
, i wouldn't change a thing. Part of my heart will always be in England, but Canada is home, and I'm thankful for all of that. 
.
Give yourself time. It can be a wonderful life here.
Off my soapbox now.
It seems to make a big difference in how a person settles, in how and why they came here, and with whom. If you're very young, and come with parents and family, it seems that you start to fit in much sooner than if you come over as an adult, say, with just a spouse, or with children too. You worry about whether you've made the right decision. That can sometimes make you question, and second guess yourself, and then make you look at where you are and how you're living, more closely. Doubts that make you think you're homesick and things aren't "greener on the other side".
I emigrated here when I was 17. My father said that, if I still didn't like it after two years, he'd pay for me to go back to the U.K.
Within those two years, things happened, like my marriage and children. And although, even after being here 44 years, I still sometimes get homesick, yes, it's true.
, i wouldn't change a thing. Part of my heart will always be in England, but Canada is home, and I'm thankful for all of that. . Give yourself time. It can be a wonderful life here.
Off my soapbox now.
Jan 20th 2014, 6:34 am
#78
April 2009
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: Calgary
Posts: 41
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
I am in the same boat as some of the people who have posted and would just like to thank you for your candour. I moved here in 2010 with my husband and children. We initially planned to review after 2 years, and I happily treated the first 2 as an adventure and challenge. However at the 2 year point I knew in my heart that Canada would never be home, sadly for me, my husband has loved it from the minute we arrived. I have done my best to integrate and settle in, I have worked since we arrived and we have lots of friends. But now, at 3.5 years in I am unhappier than ever. My husband has told everyone who will listen that 'he will never go home' despite the fact that he knows I am so unhappy. I am so sick of friends who love it here telling me that I should love it ( the ones that do are those that do not have to work for a living, ladies who's husbands wage allows them to stay at home, or should I say go out to Pilates and lunch) I have to go out to work I hate my job here as have gone back 20 yrs in my career just to be here. And please do not suggest i change jobs as we need the money i get paid too much to get out, we could not survive on a wage cut as we struggle even now) and to add insult to injury i have to work full time here due to the job market and employment contracts because i have nit been here long enough to get part time. i work longer hours in a job i hate and see less of my children than ever, so my life has truely taken a nosedive here. my husband loves his job, does not have to work shifts ( i do) and i am doing this to keep everyone else happy. but its making me sick not physically but emotionally i feel like my heart is breaking. My current choices are 1) stay and be miserable for the forseable future or 2) leave my husband in the country he loves, break up the family and return. i still have not decided what to do. The comments about lack of history, culture, quick wit, lush greenery and the fact that scenery cannot replace people and places you love were so true that they bought a tear to my eye. That is exactly how I feel. Thank you all for sharing.
Jan 20th 2014, 4:31 pm
#79
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: South of Calgary
Posts: 13,374
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
I am in the same boat as some of the people who have posted and would just like to thank you for your candour. I moved here in 2010 with my husband and children. We initially planned to review after 2 years, and I happily treated the first 2 as an adventure and challenge. However at the 2 year point I knew in my heart that Canada would never be home, sadly for me, my husband has loved it from the minute we arrived. I have done my best to integrate and settle in, I have worked since we arrived and we have lots of friends. But now, at 3.5 years in I am unhappier than ever. My husband has told everyone who will listen that 'he will never go home' despite the fact that he knows I am so unhappy. I am so sick of friends who love it here telling me that I should love it ( the ones that do are those that do not have to work for a living, ladies who's husbands wage allows them to stay at home, or should I say go out to Pilates and lunch) I have to go out to work I hate my job here as have gone back 20 yrs in my career just to be here. And please do not suggest i change jobs as we need the money i get paid too much to get out, we could not survive on a wage cut as we struggle even now) and to add insult to injury i have to work full time here due to the job market and employment contracts because i have nit been here long enough to get part time. i work longer hours in a job i hate and see less of my children than ever, so my life has truely taken a nosedive here. my husband loves his job, does not have to work shifts ( i do) and i am doing this to keep everyone else happy. but its making me sick not physically but emotionally i feel like my heart is breaking. My current choices are 1) stay and be miserable for the forseable future or 2) leave my husband in the country he loves, break up the family and return. i still have not decided what to do. The comments about lack of history, culture, quick wit, lush greenery and the fact that scenery cannot replace people and places you love were so true that they bought a tear to my eye. That is exactly how I feel. Thank you all for sharing.
If your husband does not permit you to return to the UK with the children, you will have to persuade a Canadian Court will permit you to do so. Lots of people think that, as they are British, them going with you is a no brainer but the reality is somewhat different.
Jan 20th 2014, 9:20 pm
#80
Just Joined
Joined: Jan 2014
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 13
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
rugbymum, you sound so very sad. I'm sorry you're feeling that way. How do your children feel about being here?
It's harder when there are family still over there, that we miss.
Could you maybe take an extended holiday back in the U.K. to see if you really do want to move back there? Sometimes it's the thought of the things we used to know, which may have changed in the time we've been gone, that makes us think we would much rather be back there. Then, if you really do want to move back, at least you'll know for sure, and then make any decisions you may need to make.
It's harder when there are family still over there, that we miss.
Could you maybe take an extended holiday back in the U.K. to see if you really do want to move back there? Sometimes it's the thought of the things we used to know, which may have changed in the time we've been gone, that makes us think we would much rather be back there. Then, if you really do want to move back, at least you'll know for sure, and then make any decisions you may need to make.
Jan 21st 2014, 11:40 pm
#81
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: Calgary, AB
Posts: 487
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
Guess I have to think myself lucky really as 100yrs ago there was none of the medical/mental health care we have now. No counseling etc., you just got on with things.
Jan 21st 2014, 11:55 pm
#82
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: Calgary, AB
Posts: 487
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
I think it would help, but not cure the problem.
I destroyed my nice interesting life in the UK to have a stupefyingly boring one here.
I traded four seasons and bright green fields for dark green evergreen tress that never change.
I traded interesting work (high school teacher) for no work at all.
I traded weekends of rose gardening and visiting interesting historical places, beautiful places, for sitting only tuckuss watching British TV (when I can get it).
I traded conversations about politics, current events, philosophy, religion, etc for conversations about how the garden is doing this year. Oh and how Organic food is the best.
Now my husband is so full of the power tool toting, log splitting with an axe, building his own shed type of pioneer, self sufficient, Walden Pond type of thing that he is boring too.
I live in a hole in the ground, now.
Sorry for being such a sad sack. I've had a very difficult time in Canada.
I destroyed my nice interesting life in the UK to have a stupefyingly boring one here.
I traded four seasons and bright green fields for dark green evergreen tress that never change.
I traded interesting work (high school teacher) for no work at all.
I traded weekends of rose gardening and visiting interesting historical places, beautiful places, for sitting only tuckuss watching British TV (when I can get it).
I traded conversations about politics, current events, philosophy, religion, etc for conversations about how the garden is doing this year. Oh and how Organic food is the best.
Now my husband is so full of the power tool toting, log splitting with an axe, building his own shed type of pioneer, self sufficient, Walden Pond type of thing that he is boring too.
I live in a hole in the ground, now.
Sorry for being such a sad sack. I've had a very difficult time in Canada.
Jan 22nd 2014, 12:02 am
#83
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: Calgary, AB
Posts: 487
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
My husband and I didn't come here for economic reasons. Nor for family or friends. We came because my husband wanted to build stuff and enjoy the eagles and to walk on the beach.
I left England because he wanted to. I liked my life and had no particular reason to start again somewhere else. So much for the sacrifices of marriage.
Now that I am here, I can't believe that playing with chain saws ans other power tools, I can't believe seeing an eagle fly around is worth the well being and happiness of your wife.
There is so much about our move I did not really consider.
I miss most the feeling of history that steeps every inch of Britain. I miss old churches with the history of the community oozing from every crack and crevice.
I miss the dawn chorus of the birds, and the rolling green fields outlined by hedgerows and the occasional oak.
I miss humour, something they do not indulge in in Canada. Or maybe they don't understand the concept....
I miss intellectual musings and opinions on current events. BC has no current events....
I miss style, I miss the variety of potatoes you can get at home. Here there is only the dry and crumbly Russets. I miss proper dairy, and cream.
I miss everything.
I left England because he wanted to. I liked my life and had no particular reason to start again somewhere else. So much for the sacrifices of marriage.
Now that I am here, I can't believe that playing with chain saws ans other power tools, I can't believe seeing an eagle fly around is worth the well being and happiness of your wife.
There is so much about our move I did not really consider.
I miss most the feeling of history that steeps every inch of Britain. I miss old churches with the history of the community oozing from every crack and crevice.
I miss the dawn chorus of the birds, and the rolling green fields outlined by hedgerows and the occasional oak.
I miss humour, something they do not indulge in in Canada. Or maybe they don't understand the concept....
I miss intellectual musings and opinions on current events. BC has no current events....
I miss style, I miss the variety of potatoes you can get at home. Here there is only the dry and crumbly Russets. I miss proper dairy, and cream.
I miss everything.
Jan 22nd 2014, 12:14 am
#84
Yo
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 24,474
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
I am in the same boat as some of the people who have posted and would just like to thank you for your candour. I moved here in 2010 with my husband and children. We initially planned to review after 2 years, and I happily treated the first 2 as an adventure and challenge. However at the 2 year point I knew in my heart that Canada would never be home, sadly for me, my husband has loved it from the minute we arrived. I have done my best to integrate and settle in, I have worked since we arrived and we have lots of friends. But now, at 3.5 years in I am unhappier than ever. My husband has told everyone who will listen that 'he will never go home' despite the fact that he knows I am so unhappy. I am so sick of friends who love it here telling me that I should love it ( the ones that do are those that do not have to work for a living, ladies who's husbands wage allows them to stay at home, or should I say go out to Pilates and lunch) I have to go out to work I hate my job here as have gone back 20 yrs in my career just to be here. And please do not suggest i change jobs as we need the money i get paid too much to get out, we could not survive on a wage cut as we struggle even now) and to add insult to injury i have to work full time here due to the job market and employment contracts because i have nit been here long enough to get part time. i work longer hours in a job i hate and see less of my children than ever, so my life has truely taken a nosedive here. my husband loves his job, does not have to work shifts ( i do) and i am doing this to keep everyone else happy. but its making me sick not physically but emotionally i feel like my heart is breaking. My current choices are 1) stay and be miserable for the forseable future or 2) leave my husband in the country he loves, break up the family and return. i still have not decided what to do. The comments about lack of history, culture, quick wit, lush greenery and the fact that scenery cannot replace people and places you love were so true that they bought a tear to my eye. That is exactly how I feel. Thank you all for sharing.
Jan 22nd 2014, 10:36 am
#85
April 2009
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: Calgary
Posts: 41
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
Quite clearly, this is a decision for you and you alone to make but, if it does factor into your decision, please note that, due to the length of time you have lived in Canada, it will be the rules of Canada that govern the divorce.
If your husband does not permit you to return to the UK with the children, you will have to persuade a Canadian Court will permit you to do so. Lots of people think that, as they are British, them going with you is a no brainer but the reality is somewhat different.
If your husband does not permit you to return to the UK with the children, you will have to persuade a Canadian Court will permit you to do so. Lots of people think that, as they are British, them going with you is a no brainer but the reality is somewhat different.
Jan 22nd 2014, 10:48 am
#86
April 2009
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: Calgary
Posts: 41
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
A tough situation. Does your husband know that you are considering the break up option? As much as you dislike the place (Canada) would you like living back in the UK after a family break up? Perhaps you can downsize in order to reduce working hours (a compromise for both of you)?
Jan 22nd 2014, 10:50 am
#87
April 2009
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: Calgary
Posts: 41
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
A tough situation. Does your husband know that you are considering the break up option? As much as you dislike the place (Canada) would you like living back in the UK after a family break up? Perhaps you can downsize in order to reduce working hours (a compromise for both of you)?
Jan 22nd 2014, 2:11 pm
#88
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: South of Calgary
Posts: 13,374
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
If you read the post, I say absolutely nothing about it being me who gets the children....... I said it would break up the family. By leaving I would, in my belief be breaking up the family, perhaps you have a different viewpoint. I am not that arrogant a to assume it would be that cut a and dried. Perhaps you do not consider both parents as part if the family unit, but I always have.
I wish you every success with whatever you decide.
Jan 22nd 2014, 2:11 pm
#89
Forum Regular
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 179
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
I really hope the best for everybody feeling homesick! it is a truly awful feeling.
It is quiet an interesting topic the subject of whether the grass is actually greener. And the way people can turn out blissfully happy and never look back or end up horribly miserable.
It does seem the case that the older and more settled you are the more difficult it is to move successfully. Of course personality has a huge influence too.
It might help to imagine all the positives of your new life instead of focusing on what you miss.
The UK is getting terribly overpopulated, polluted, and competition and price of schooling mean the quality of those are falling and becoming less accessible. The public services and healthcare is also at breaking point. Crime at least by my opinion is getting much worse too.
British humour is unbeatable but I thought Canadians were a close second in world comedy
Dan Ackroyd, Jim Carrey, John Candy, Michael Cera, Michael J fox are some awesome Canadian funnymen/actors that come to mind.
In Canada you live in the 2nd largest country in the world with something like the population of Wales! The countryside and space is almost unparalleled. A country that spans 6 time zones (I think?). Most people I think will admit it is for the most part a very beautiful country too.
The people and country are stereotypically very friendly and relatively peaceful shall I say. A stereotype which from my experience has been true, at least compared to other places. Crime is low relative to the size of the country.
Winters in my opinion are brutal, but at least they're exciting. Not like the constant grey cold depressing drizzle in the UK for 6 months of the year. You can do awesome things like skating, skiing, hockey etc in your own back yard! And then much of Southern Canada gets great summers, sometimes 35 C with a lot of sunshine days depending on where you are.
Canada is world wide renowned to have lovely autumns.
My point was there's pro's and cons to both places. And I know it's all too easy to look at only the cons of where you are now and the pro's of where you want to be when you are feeling homesick.
It is quiet an interesting topic the subject of whether the grass is actually greener. And the way people can turn out blissfully happy and never look back or end up horribly miserable.
It does seem the case that the older and more settled you are the more difficult it is to move successfully. Of course personality has a huge influence too.
It might help to imagine all the positives of your new life instead of focusing on what you miss.
The UK is getting terribly overpopulated, polluted, and competition and price of schooling mean the quality of those are falling and becoming less accessible. The public services and healthcare is also at breaking point. Crime at least by my opinion is getting much worse too.
British humour is unbeatable but I thought Canadians were a close second in world comedy
Dan Ackroyd, Jim Carrey, John Candy, Michael Cera, Michael J fox are some awesome Canadian funnymen/actors that come to mind.
In Canada you live in the 2nd largest country in the world with something like the population of Wales! The countryside and space is almost unparalleled. A country that spans 6 time zones (I think?). Most people I think will admit it is for the most part a very beautiful country too.
The people and country are stereotypically very friendly and relatively peaceful shall I say. A stereotype which from my experience has been true, at least compared to other places. Crime is low relative to the size of the country.
Winters in my opinion are brutal, but at least they're exciting. Not like the constant grey cold depressing drizzle in the UK for 6 months of the year. You can do awesome things like skating, skiing, hockey etc in your own back yard! And then much of Southern Canada gets great summers, sometimes 35 C with a lot of sunshine days depending on where you are.
Canada is world wide renowned to have lovely autumns.
My point was there's pro's and cons to both places. And I know it's all too easy to look at only the cons of where you are now and the pro's of where you want to be when you are feeling homesick.
Jan 22nd 2014, 6:57 pm
#90
Yo
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 24,474
Re: Still Homesick after a year!
In Canada you live in the 2nd largest country in the world with something like the population of Wales! The countryside and space is almost unparalleled. A country that spans 6 time zones (I think?). Most people I think will admit it is for the most part a very beautiful country too.
Canada population: 35 million
You do the math.