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Feeling unsettled/home sick

Feeling unsettled/home sick

Old Aug 31st 2013, 6:24 pm
  #31  
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Default Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick

Originally Posted by izzi81
I've also been here 3 months and have only had one glimmer of homesickness so far, which happened the other day. I was doing some shopping at the supermarket, and suddenly I just really wanted to be shopping in Morrisons! Not for anything specific, I think I just wanted the familiarity, as someone already said. I was just suddenly tired of trying to find equivalents, and worrying about salt content, and being shocked by the prices of some things. I think I ground to a halt for about a minute and just stood there. I tried to think of something familiar to buy to make me feel better, and came up with nothing!

So that evening I put on a Uk tv DVD (Still Game i think, reminds me of the negatives of Glasgow and makes me laugh at the same time) and broke into my Uk chocolate stash and ate too much. That did the trick
Still Game & chocolate

I know it's such a tedious process all this label reading! I think the run in with the hospital & bank must have tipped me over the edge and I just felt like I'd had enough of having to navigate through the millions of different processes. Went to Vancouver for a few days and that cheered me up. Hope all is going well for you.
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Old Aug 31st 2013, 6:25 pm
  #32  
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Default Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick

Originally Posted by Mikeypm
I think everyone has good and bad days and you have only been there thrree months so bad days possibly get a bit more amplified.

Maybe if you have the time and money do something to pick yourself up like a tasty treat, getting your hair done or yes say Hi to someone back at home.

Your only human we all have bad days
Thank you wee trip to Vancouver has got me out of my slump
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Old Aug 31st 2013, 6:29 pm
  #33  
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Default Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick

Originally Posted by MillieF
My first first three months were really miserable, I would have moved back to my old home in a second. The next three weren't that much better either. I react slowly to things, death and big troubles don't hit me for quite a while afterwards, so I had factored in my unhappiness in the plan and just waited it out.

Now when I have a bad day I just tell myself I'll feel better tomorrow....yes a nice haircut or a bit of pampering can help, like Mickey suggested. A degree of unhappiness is almost inevitable I think. Good luck
Thanks Millie, good to know that others have been through similar. Makes it harder when OH loves it and says he is never going back. I think if someone said tomorrow this was all a mistake and we had to leave I'd be really upset as I don't want to go home but I wish I felt as settled as OH.
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Old Aug 31st 2013, 6:31 pm
  #34  
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Default Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick

Originally Posted by not2old
generally part of the course for some - it took me 2 years, then one day it was gone.

Trust that today is much better for you

Skype someone you love back home or pick up the phone & call them, have a natter ... that should do it

Thank you for your reply
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Old Aug 31st 2013, 6:31 pm
  #35  
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Default Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick

Originally Posted by Ailsa n Dave
I have had a few "off" days... Something usually triggers it, generally something daft and its usually people I miss, or last time actually I just felt out of place like I didn't belong and I missed that feeling of general familiarity...

It generally only lasts a day or 2 though. I think this is a normal healthy reaction. It would be weird and robotic to make such a big life change and not have it impact on you. Roll with it, spoil yourself a bit and tomorrow give yourself a kick up the backside and enjoy the great side again!
Thanks glad it's not just me
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Old Aug 31st 2013, 6:43 pm
  #36  
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Default Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick

Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better.

Things will get better, it's just that the honeymoon period of everything being new and exciting has passed and now it's reality rearing it's ugly head - washing still has to get done, shopping still has to be bought, life carries on regardless - SSDC !!

I don't know if you are working or not but I think when the rest of the family are assimilating (and loving it) it makes it harder on the one 'left at home' - they are all busy getting on with their lives whilst you are not getting out meeting people like they are, not having the opportunities to find or meet or make new potential friends and are stuck in the rut and hearing about it all but not being a participant.

If you are at home, it's hard to get excited about this 'great new life' when all you really get to do is clean a new home, get groceries from a store you still get lost in and miss the things you would be doing if you were in the UK.

It takes time to build new friendships, but it will happen. It takes time to build new social circles, but it will happen. Give it time.

If 'him indoors' gets too 'gung ho' about it all, perhaps it is time to remind him that if he was the one at home all day alone he may feel a bit different. If he doesn't believe you, book a week away by yourself - or a weekend - and let him be 'home alone' so he can experience it, lol.

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Old Aug 31st 2013, 11:08 pm
  #37  
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Default Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick

Originally Posted by AllyS
Didn't know some things were expensive in the east aswell! Thought it was just Calgary

Miss M&S food.....
Me too! M&S food and Tescos finest clotted cream.... mmmmmm

Its interesting to read your second comment, I read so much on here that its NS that's got the worst of everything including food prices.....
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Old Sep 1st 2013, 11:10 am
  #38  
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Default Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick

Originally Posted by Siouxie
Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better.

Things will get better, it's just that the honeymoon period of everything being new and exciting has passed and now it's reality rearing it's ugly head - washing still has to get done, shopping still has to be bought, life carries on regardless - SSDC !!

I don't know if you are working or not but I think when the rest of the family are assimilating (and loving it) it makes it harder on the one 'left at home' - they are all busy getting on with their lives whilst you are not getting out meeting people like they are, not having the opportunities to find or meet or make new potential friends and are stuck in the rut and hearing about it all but not being a participant.

If you are at home, it's hard to get excited about this 'great new life' when all you really get to do is clean a new home, get groceries from a store you still get lost in and miss the things you would be doing if you were in the UK.

It takes time to build new friendships, but it will happen. It takes time to build new social circles, but it will happen. Give it time.

If 'him indoors' gets too 'gung ho' about it all, perhaps it is time to remind him that if he was the one at home all day alone he may feel a bit different. If he doesn't believe you, book a week away by yourself - or a weekend - and let him be 'home alone' so he can experience it, lol.

Thanks Yes you guessed right I am not working since we moved which is really taking a lot of adjustment as I always worked part-time at home. Mind you my job and commute were so stressful and I moaned about it constantly

I have a few 'me' things starting once the kids are settled back at school which will help I'm sure. Like you say SSDC!
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Old Oct 29th 2013, 3:05 am
  #39  
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Default Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick

Only just started feeling the same, been here just about 3 months (IEC) Kitchener Ontario and my husband has just lost a close family member. Our funds are extremely tight and we just cant afford to go back to the UK for the funeral.

I think it was a case of the grass is always greener kinda thing. Our heads at the moment are so messed up, we just want to be there to support our family But then in another sense its unrealistic to expect us to drop everything (jobs) etc. Plus the added pressures of certain family members saying we should have thought of keeping extra funds if something ever did happen.

Were both working my husband full time and me part time, we fell on our feet when we got here as we both found jobs within a week, so feel kinda lucky that way.
But were just trying to keep in our heads why we left the UK, as my husband couldn't find work (Electrician). And i don't think the situation there will be changing anytime soon.

We are still preparing our papers for the Skilled Trades Program as my husband has just sat the Red seal exam 309a for Construction Electrician.
But deep down with all the grieving were starting to feel as though this is all a huge mistake.
I just feel at the minute like i want to pack up and leave, but worried what i will be returning back too. No job, no excess funds etc
We have spent all of our savings coming to Canada so in the back of my mind we know we have got to try and make it work.
But its so hard because were missing home terribly at the moment
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Old Oct 29th 2013, 3:14 am
  #40  
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Default Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick

Originally Posted by staceyhall71
Only just started feeling the same, been here just about 3 months (IEC) Kitchener Ontario and my husband has just lost a close family member. Our funds are extremely tight and we just cant afford to go back to the UK for the funeral.

I think it was a case of the grass is always greener kinda thing. Our heads at the moment are so messed up, we just want to be there to support our family But then in another sense its unrealistic to expect us to drop everything (jobs) etc. Plus the added pressures of certain family members saying we should have thought of keeping extra funds if something ever did happen.

Were both working my husband full time and me part time, we fell on our feet when we got here as we both found jobs within a week, so feel kinda lucky that way.
But were just trying to keep in our heads why we left the UK, as my husband couldn't find work (Electrician). And i don't think the situation there will be changing anytime soon.

We are still preparing our papers for the Skilled Trades Program as my husband has just sat the Red seal exam 309a for Construction Electrician.
But deep down with all the grieving were starting to feel as though this is all a huge mistake.
I just feel at the minute like i want to pack up and leave, but worried what i will be returning back too. No job, no excess funds etc
We have spent all of our savings coming to Canada so in the back of my mind we know we have got to try and make it work.
But its so hard because were missing home terribly at the moment
Take a deep breath, and let yourself feel the emotion but remember - it's colouring everything you see so it's not really reality, does that make sense?

Be kind to yourself. Make sure you give yourself a treat or someting to look forward to every day. This too will pass...I promise.
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Old Oct 29th 2013, 4:27 am
  #41  
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Default Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick

Originally Posted by staceyhall71
But were just trying to keep in our heads why we left the UK, as my husband couldn't find work (Electrician). And i don't think the situation there will be changing anytime soon.
Not sure this will help, but the situation either has changed, or it's just area dependent as I've been hunting for an electrician for the past 8 weeks and cannot find one with availability before January! I'm in Berkshire. Just in case you do decide to move back!

Best of luck to you, I hope that things get easier for you.
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Old Oct 29th 2013, 8:02 am
  #42  
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Default Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick

Originally Posted by staceyhall71
Only just started feeling the same, been here just about 3 months (IEC) Kitchener Ontario and my husband has just lost a close family member. Our funds are extremely tight and we just cant afford to go back to the UK for the funeral.

I think it was a case of the grass is always greener kinda thing. Our heads at the moment are so messed up, we just want to be there to support our family But then in another sense its unrealistic to expect us to drop everything (jobs) etc. Plus the added pressures of certain family members saying we should have thought of keeping extra funds if something ever did happen.

Were both working my husband full time and me part time, we fell on our feet when we got here as we both found jobs within a week, so feel kinda lucky that way.
But were just trying to keep in our heads why we left the UK, as my husband couldn't find work (Electrician). And i don't think the situation there will be changing anytime soon.

We are still preparing our papers for the Skilled Trades Program as my husband has just sat the Red seal exam 309a for Construction Electrician.
But deep down with all the grieving were starting to feel as though this is all a huge mistake.
I just feel at the minute like i want to pack up and leave, but worried what i will be returning back too. No job, no excess funds etc
We have spent all of our savings coming to Canada so in the back of my mind we know we have got to try and make it work.
But its so hard because were missing home terribly at the moment
You will be fine. The reasons why you relocated are valid. Keep your heads up. It's tough when you loose loved ones and those emotions can cloud your judgement. Just hang in there. You've got each other.
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Old Oct 29th 2013, 12:34 pm
  #43  
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Default Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick

Originally Posted by staceyhall71
Only just started feeling the same, been here just about 3 months (IEC) Kitchener Ontario and my husband has just lost a close family member. Our funds are extremely tight and we just cant afford to go back to the UK for the funeral.

I think it was a case of the grass is always greener kinda thing. Our heads at the moment are so messed up, we just want to be there to support our family But then in another sense its unrealistic to expect us to drop everything (jobs) etc. Plus the added pressures of certain family members saying we should have thought of keeping extra funds if something ever did happen.

Were both working my husband full time and me part time, we fell on our feet when we got here as we both found jobs within a week, so feel kinda lucky that way.
But were just trying to keep in our heads why we left the UK, as my husband couldn't find work (Electrician). And i don't think the situation there will be changing anytime soon.

We are still preparing our papers for the Skilled Trades Program as my husband has just sat the Red seal exam 309a for Construction Electrician.
But deep down with all the grieving were starting to feel as though this is all a huge mistake.
I just feel at the minute like i want to pack up and leave, but worried what i will be returning back too. No job, no excess funds etc
We have spent all of our savings coming to Canada so in the back of my mind we know we have got to try and make it work.
But its so hard because were missing home terribly at the moment
Allow yourselves to grieve... You have suffered two recent losses. The family member and a life that was familiar.

You have thrown yourselves into the unknown and now the excitement has calmed down you are realising what you have left behind. This doesn't mean you want to go back, this just means you need to be kind to yourselves and allow time to heal from the emotional shock of the upheaval and the passing of your family member.

Take a step back. Reassure yourselves that this doesn't have to be a permanent life change if you don't want it to be and if ever you want to return to the UK you can.

Then give your new lives time to become familiar...
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Old Oct 29th 2013, 7:13 pm
  #44  
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Default Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick

Originally Posted by DandNHill
Allow yourselves to grieve... You have suffered two recent losses. The family member and a life that was familiar.

You have thrown yourselves into the unknown and now the excitement has calmed down you are realising what you have left behind. This doesn't mean you want to go back, this just means you need to be kind to yourselves and allow time to heal from the emotional shock of the upheaval and the passing of your family member.

Take a step back. Reassure yourselves that this doesn't have to be a permanent life change if you don't want it to be and if ever you want to return to the UK you can.

Then give your new lives time to become familiar...
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Old Oct 30th 2013, 2:58 am
  #45  
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Default Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick

Thank you everyone, that is really supportive and helpful. what a great community it is on here.
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