Feeling unsettled/home sick
Sep 1st 2013, 6:24 am
#31
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 232
Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick
I've also been here 3 months and have only had one glimmer of homesickness so far, which happened the other day. I was doing some shopping at the supermarket, and suddenly I just really wanted to be shopping in Morrisons! Not for anything specific, I think I just wanted the familiarity, as someone already said. I was just suddenly tired of trying to find equivalents, and worrying about salt content, and being shocked by the prices of some things. I think I ground to a halt for about a minute and just stood there. I tried to think of something familiar to buy to make me feel better, and came up with nothing!
So that evening I put on a Uk tv DVD (Still Game i think, reminds me of the negatives of Glasgow and makes me laugh at the same time) and broke into my Uk chocolate stash and ate too much. That did the trick
So that evening I put on a Uk tv DVD (Still Game i think, reminds me of the negatives of Glasgow and makes me laugh at the same time) and broke into my Uk chocolate stash and ate too much. That did the trick
Still Game & chocolate 
I know it's such a tedious process all this label reading! I think the run in with the hospital & bank must have tipped me over the edge and I just felt like I'd had enough of having to navigate through the millions of different processes. Went to Vancouver for a few days and that cheered me up. Hope all is going well for you.
Sep 1st 2013, 6:25 am
#32
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Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 232
Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick
I think everyone has good and bad days and you have only been there thrree months so bad days possibly get a bit more amplified.
Maybe if you have the time and money do something to pick yourself up like a tasty treat, getting your hair done or yes say Hi to someone back at home.
Your only human we all have bad days
Maybe if you have the time and money do something to pick yourself up like a tasty treat, getting your hair done or yes say Hi to someone back at home.
Your only human we all have bad days
wee trip to Vancouver has got me out of my slump
Sep 1st 2013, 6:29 am
#33
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Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick
My first first three months were really miserable, I would have moved back to my old home in a second. The next three weren't that much better either. I react slowly to things, death and big troubles don't hit me for quite a while afterwards, so I had factored in my unhappiness in the plan and just waited it out.
Now when I have a bad day I just tell myself I'll feel better tomorrow....yes a nice haircut or a bit of pampering can help, like Mickey suggested. A degree of unhappiness is almost inevitable I think. Good luck
Now when I have a bad day I just tell myself I'll feel better tomorrow....yes a nice haircut or a bit of pampering can help, like Mickey suggested. A degree of unhappiness is almost inevitable I think. Good luck
Sep 1st 2013, 6:31 am
#34
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Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick
Sep 1st 2013, 6:31 am
#35
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Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick
I have had a few "off" days... Something usually triggers it, generally something daft and its usually people I miss, or last time actually I just felt out of place like I didn't belong and I missed that feeling of general familiarity...
It generally only lasts a day or 2 though. I think this is a normal healthy reaction. It would be weird and robotic to make such a big life change and not have it impact on you. Roll with it, spoil yourself a bit and tomorrow give yourself a kick up the backside and enjoy the great side again!
It generally only lasts a day or 2 though. I think this is a normal healthy reaction. It would be weird and robotic to make such a big life change and not have it impact on you. Roll with it, spoil yourself a bit and tomorrow give yourself a kick up the backside and enjoy the great side again!
glad it's not just me
Sep 1st 2013, 6:43 am
#36
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Joined: Apr 2009
Location: SW Ontario
Posts: 19,879
Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick
Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better.
Things will get better, it's just that the honeymoon period of everything being new and exciting has passed and now it's reality rearing it's ugly head - washing still has to get done, shopping still has to be bought, life carries on regardless - SSDC !!
I don't know if you are working or not but I think when the rest of the family are assimilating (and loving it) it makes it harder on the one 'left at home' - they are all busy getting on with their lives whilst you are not getting out meeting people like they are, not having the opportunities to find or meet or make new potential friends and are stuck in the rut and hearing about it all but not being a participant.
If you are at home, it's hard to get excited about this 'great new life' when all you really get to do is clean a new home, get groceries from a store you still get lost in and miss the things you would be doing if you were in the UK.
It takes time to build new friendships, but it will happen. It takes time to build new social circles, but it will happen. Give it time.
If 'him indoors' gets too 'gung ho' about it all, perhaps it is time to remind him that if he was the one at home all day alone he may feel a bit different. If he doesn't believe you, book a week away by yourself - or a weekend - and let him be 'home alone' so he can experience it, lol.
Things will get better, it's just that the honeymoon period of everything being new and exciting has passed and now it's reality rearing it's ugly head - washing still has to get done, shopping still has to be bought, life carries on regardless - SSDC !!
I don't know if you are working or not but I think when the rest of the family are assimilating (and loving it) it makes it harder on the one 'left at home' - they are all busy getting on with their lives whilst you are not getting out meeting people like they are, not having the opportunities to find or meet or make new potential friends and are stuck in the rut and hearing about it all but not being a participant.
If you are at home, it's hard to get excited about this 'great new life' when all you really get to do is clean a new home, get groceries from a store you still get lost in and miss the things you would be doing if you were in the UK.
It takes time to build new friendships, but it will happen. It takes time to build new social circles, but it will happen. Give it time.
If 'him indoors' gets too 'gung ho' about it all, perhaps it is time to remind him that if he was the one at home all day alone he may feel a bit different. If he doesn't believe you, book a week away by yourself - or a weekend - and let him be 'home alone' so he can experience it, lol.
Sep 1st 2013, 11:08 am
#37
Happy
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: Nova Scotia
Posts: 2,942
Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick
Its interesting to read your second comment, I read so much on here that its NS that's got the worst of everything including food prices.....
Sep 1st 2013, 11:10 pm
#38
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 232
Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick
Glad to hear you are feeling a bit better.
Things will get better, it's just that the honeymoon period of everything being new and exciting has passed and now it's reality rearing it's ugly head - washing still has to get done, shopping still has to be bought, life carries on regardless - SSDC !!
I don't know if you are working or not but I think when the rest of the family are assimilating (and loving it) it makes it harder on the one 'left at home' - they are all busy getting on with their lives whilst you are not getting out meeting people like they are, not having the opportunities to find or meet or make new potential friends and are stuck in the rut and hearing about it all but not being a participant.
If you are at home, it's hard to get excited about this 'great new life' when all you really get to do is clean a new home, get groceries from a store you still get lost in and miss the things you would be doing if you were in the UK.
It takes time to build new friendships, but it will happen. It takes time to build new social circles, but it will happen. Give it time.
If 'him indoors' gets too 'gung ho' about it all, perhaps it is time to remind him that if he was the one at home all day alone he may feel a bit different. If he doesn't believe you, book a week away by yourself - or a weekend - and let him be 'home alone' so he can experience it, lol.
Things will get better, it's just that the honeymoon period of everything being new and exciting has passed and now it's reality rearing it's ugly head - washing still has to get done, shopping still has to be bought, life carries on regardless - SSDC !!
I don't know if you are working or not but I think when the rest of the family are assimilating (and loving it) it makes it harder on the one 'left at home' - they are all busy getting on with their lives whilst you are not getting out meeting people like they are, not having the opportunities to find or meet or make new potential friends and are stuck in the rut and hearing about it all but not being a participant.
If you are at home, it's hard to get excited about this 'great new life' when all you really get to do is clean a new home, get groceries from a store you still get lost in and miss the things you would be doing if you were in the UK.
It takes time to build new friendships, but it will happen. It takes time to build new social circles, but it will happen. Give it time.
If 'him indoors' gets too 'gung ho' about it all, perhaps it is time to remind him that if he was the one at home all day alone he may feel a bit different. If he doesn't believe you, book a week away by yourself - or a weekend - and let him be 'home alone' so he can experience it, lol.
Yes you guessed right I am not working since we moved which is really taking a lot of adjustment as I always worked part-time at home. Mind you my job and commute were so stressful and I moaned about it constantly 
I have a few 'me' things starting once the kids are settled back at school which will help I'm sure. Like you say SSDC!
Oct 29th 2013, 3:05 pm
#39
Never Live to Regret
Joined: Jan 2012
Location: Kitchener, Ontario
Posts: 90
Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick
Only just started feeling the same, been here just about 3 months (IEC) Kitchener Ontario and my husband has just lost a close family member. Our funds are extremely tight and we just cant afford to go back to the UK for the funeral.
I think it was a case of the grass is always greener kinda thing. Our heads at the moment are so messed up, we just want to be there to support our family But then in another sense its unrealistic to expect us to drop everything (jobs) etc. Plus the added pressures of certain family members saying we should have thought of keeping extra funds if something ever did happen.
Were both working my husband full time and me part time, we fell on our feet when we got here as we both found jobs within a week, so feel kinda lucky that way.
But were just trying to keep in our heads why we left the UK, as my husband couldn't find work (Electrician). And i don't think the situation there will be changing anytime soon.
We are still preparing our papers for the Skilled Trades Program as my husband has just sat the Red seal exam 309a for Construction Electrician.
But deep down with all the grieving were starting to feel as though this is all a huge mistake.
I just feel at the minute like i want to pack up and leave, but worried what i will be returning back too. No job, no excess funds etc
We have spent all of our savings coming to Canada so in the back of my mind we know we have got to try and make it work.
But its so hard because were missing home terribly at the moment
I think it was a case of the grass is always greener kinda thing. Our heads at the moment are so messed up, we just want to be there to support our family But then in another sense its unrealistic to expect us to drop everything (jobs) etc. Plus the added pressures of certain family members saying we should have thought of keeping extra funds if something ever did happen.
Were both working my husband full time and me part time, we fell on our feet when we got here as we both found jobs within a week, so feel kinda lucky that way.
But were just trying to keep in our heads why we left the UK, as my husband couldn't find work (Electrician). And i don't think the situation there will be changing anytime soon.
We are still preparing our papers for the Skilled Trades Program as my husband has just sat the Red seal exam 309a for Construction Electrician.
But deep down with all the grieving were starting to feel as though this is all a huge mistake.
I just feel at the minute like i want to pack up and leave, but worried what i will be returning back too. No job, no excess funds etc
We have spent all of our savings coming to Canada so in the back of my mind we know we have got to try and make it work.
But its so hard because were missing home terribly at the moment
Oct 29th 2013, 3:14 pm
#40
slanderer of the innocent
Joined: Dec 2008
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 6,695
Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick
Only just started feeling the same, been here just about 3 months (IEC) Kitchener Ontario and my husband has just lost a close family member. Our funds are extremely tight and we just cant afford to go back to the UK for the funeral.
I think it was a case of the grass is always greener kinda thing. Our heads at the moment are so messed up, we just want to be there to support our family But then in another sense its unrealistic to expect us to drop everything (jobs) etc. Plus the added pressures of certain family members saying we should have thought of keeping extra funds if something ever did happen.
Were both working my husband full time and me part time, we fell on our feet when we got here as we both found jobs within a week, so feel kinda lucky that way.
But were just trying to keep in our heads why we left the UK, as my husband couldn't find work (Electrician). And i don't think the situation there will be changing anytime soon.
We are still preparing our papers for the Skilled Trades Program as my husband has just sat the Red seal exam 309a for Construction Electrician.
But deep down with all the grieving were starting to feel as though this is all a huge mistake.
I just feel at the minute like i want to pack up and leave, but worried what i will be returning back too. No job, no excess funds etc
We have spent all of our savings coming to Canada so in the back of my mind we know we have got to try and make it work.
But its so hard because were missing home terribly at the moment
I think it was a case of the grass is always greener kinda thing. Our heads at the moment are so messed up, we just want to be there to support our family But then in another sense its unrealistic to expect us to drop everything (jobs) etc. Plus the added pressures of certain family members saying we should have thought of keeping extra funds if something ever did happen.
Were both working my husband full time and me part time, we fell on our feet when we got here as we both found jobs within a week, so feel kinda lucky that way.
But were just trying to keep in our heads why we left the UK, as my husband couldn't find work (Electrician). And i don't think the situation there will be changing anytime soon.
We are still preparing our papers for the Skilled Trades Program as my husband has just sat the Red seal exam 309a for Construction Electrician.
But deep down with all the grieving were starting to feel as though this is all a huge mistake.
I just feel at the minute like i want to pack up and leave, but worried what i will be returning back too. No job, no excess funds etc
We have spent all of our savings coming to Canada so in the back of my mind we know we have got to try and make it work.
But its so hard because were missing home terribly at the moment
Be kind to yourself. Make sure you give yourself a treat or someting to look forward to every day. This too will pass...I promise.
Oct 29th 2013, 4:27 pm
#41
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Joined: Oct 2007
Location: In a darkened room somewhere.............
Posts: 34,033
Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick
Best of luck to you, I hope that things get easier for you.
Oct 29th 2013, 8:02 pm
#42
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 115
Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick
Only just started feeling the same, been here just about 3 months (IEC) Kitchener Ontario and my husband has just lost a close family member. Our funds are extremely tight and we just cant afford to go back to the UK for the funeral.
I think it was a case of the grass is always greener kinda thing. Our heads at the moment are so messed up, we just want to be there to support our family But then in another sense its unrealistic to expect us to drop everything (jobs) etc. Plus the added pressures of certain family members saying we should have thought of keeping extra funds if something ever did happen.
Were both working my husband full time and me part time, we fell on our feet when we got here as we both found jobs within a week, so feel kinda lucky that way.
But were just trying to keep in our heads why we left the UK, as my husband couldn't find work (Electrician). And i don't think the situation there will be changing anytime soon.
We are still preparing our papers for the Skilled Trades Program as my husband has just sat the Red seal exam 309a for Construction Electrician.
But deep down with all the grieving were starting to feel as though this is all a huge mistake.
I just feel at the minute like i want to pack up and leave, but worried what i will be returning back too. No job, no excess funds etc
We have spent all of our savings coming to Canada so in the back of my mind we know we have got to try and make it work.
But its so hard because were missing home terribly at the moment
I think it was a case of the grass is always greener kinda thing. Our heads at the moment are so messed up, we just want to be there to support our family But then in another sense its unrealistic to expect us to drop everything (jobs) etc. Plus the added pressures of certain family members saying we should have thought of keeping extra funds if something ever did happen.
Were both working my husband full time and me part time, we fell on our feet when we got here as we both found jobs within a week, so feel kinda lucky that way.
But were just trying to keep in our heads why we left the UK, as my husband couldn't find work (Electrician). And i don't think the situation there will be changing anytime soon.
We are still preparing our papers for the Skilled Trades Program as my husband has just sat the Red seal exam 309a for Construction Electrician.
But deep down with all the grieving were starting to feel as though this is all a huge mistake.
I just feel at the minute like i want to pack up and leave, but worried what i will be returning back too. No job, no excess funds etc
We have spent all of our savings coming to Canada so in the back of my mind we know we have got to try and make it work.
But its so hard because were missing home terribly at the moment
Oct 30th 2013, 12:34 am
#43
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2009
Location: Somewhere in Hamilton, ON
Posts: 4,307
Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick
Only just started feeling the same, been here just about 3 months (IEC) Kitchener Ontario and my husband has just lost a close family member. Our funds are extremely tight and we just cant afford to go back to the UK for the funeral.
I think it was a case of the grass is always greener kinda thing. Our heads at the moment are so messed up, we just want to be there to support our family But then in another sense its unrealistic to expect us to drop everything (jobs) etc. Plus the added pressures of certain family members saying we should have thought of keeping extra funds if something ever did happen.
Were both working my husband full time and me part time, we fell on our feet when we got here as we both found jobs within a week, so feel kinda lucky that way.
But were just trying to keep in our heads why we left the UK, as my husband couldn't find work (Electrician). And i don't think the situation there will be changing anytime soon.
We are still preparing our papers for the Skilled Trades Program as my husband has just sat the Red seal exam 309a for Construction Electrician.
But deep down with all the grieving were starting to feel as though this is all a huge mistake.
I just feel at the minute like i want to pack up and leave, but worried what i will be returning back too. No job, no excess funds etc
We have spent all of our savings coming to Canada so in the back of my mind we know we have got to try and make it work.
But its so hard because were missing home terribly at the moment
I think it was a case of the grass is always greener kinda thing. Our heads at the moment are so messed up, we just want to be there to support our family But then in another sense its unrealistic to expect us to drop everything (jobs) etc. Plus the added pressures of certain family members saying we should have thought of keeping extra funds if something ever did happen.
Were both working my husband full time and me part time, we fell on our feet when we got here as we both found jobs within a week, so feel kinda lucky that way.
But were just trying to keep in our heads why we left the UK, as my husband couldn't find work (Electrician). And i don't think the situation there will be changing anytime soon.
We are still preparing our papers for the Skilled Trades Program as my husband has just sat the Red seal exam 309a for Construction Electrician.
But deep down with all the grieving were starting to feel as though this is all a huge mistake.
I just feel at the minute like i want to pack up and leave, but worried what i will be returning back too. No job, no excess funds etc
We have spent all of our savings coming to Canada so in the back of my mind we know we have got to try and make it work.
But its so hard because were missing home terribly at the moment
You have thrown yourselves into the unknown and now the excitement has calmed down you are realising what you have left behind. This doesn't mean you want to go back, this just means you need to be kind to yourselves and allow time to heal from the emotional shock of the upheaval and the passing of your family member.
Take a step back. Reassure yourselves that this doesn't have to be a permanent life change if you don't want it to be and if ever you want to return to the UK you can.
Then give your new lives time to become familiar...
Oct 30th 2013, 7:13 am
#44
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 115
Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick
Allow yourselves to grieve... You have suffered two recent losses. The family member and a life that was familiar.
You have thrown yourselves into the unknown and now the excitement has calmed down you are realising what you have left behind. This doesn't mean you want to go back, this just means you need to be kind to yourselves and allow time to heal from the emotional shock of the upheaval and the passing of your family member.
Take a step back. Reassure yourselves that this doesn't have to be a permanent life change if you don't want it to be and if ever you want to return to the UK you can.
Then give your new lives time to become familiar...
You have thrown yourselves into the unknown and now the excitement has calmed down you are realising what you have left behind. This doesn't mean you want to go back, this just means you need to be kind to yourselves and allow time to heal from the emotional shock of the upheaval and the passing of your family member.
Take a step back. Reassure yourselves that this doesn't have to be a permanent life change if you don't want it to be and if ever you want to return to the UK you can.
Then give your new lives time to become familiar...
Oct 30th 2013, 2:58 pm
#45
Never Live to Regret
Joined: Jan 2012
Location: Kitchener, Ontario
Posts: 90
Re: Feeling unsettled/home sick
Thank you everyone, that is really supportive and helpful. what a great community it is on here.
what a great community it is on here.