6 months
Sep 19th 2012, 6:50 pm
#31
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Re: 6 months
I really do feel parents' frustration when they have issues with this sort of thing in school and teachers don;'t handle it well, but please don't tell him to hit back at school.
He will only get into trouble as well as the guilty party, which is so unfair on him.
Get the Principle involved straight away if the teacher won't/can't sort it out.
He will only get into trouble as well as the guilty party, which is so unfair on him.
Get the Principle involved straight away if the teacher won't/can't sort it out.
I have told my kids to hit back if they are hit. We will deal with the fall out as and when. We have spoken to the principals, all of whom have simply refused to do anything.
Fortunately, the principals can at least spell words correctly
Sep 19th 2012, 7:01 pm
#32
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Re: 6 months
Our experience of schools in Canada is that they simply do not want to deal with the issue when it is raised. As with most things, I assume it is due to their reluctance for confrontation.
I have told my kids to hit back if they are hit. We will deal with the fall out as and when. We have spoken to the principals, all of whom have simply refused to do anything.
Fortunately, the principals can at least spell words correctly
I have told my kids to hit back if they are hit. We will deal with the fall out as and when. We have spoken to the principals, all of whom have simply refused to do anything.
Fortunately, the principals can at least spell words correctly
Thanks for the spelling lesson...
All these new words I have to get used to... 
Sep 20th 2012, 3:30 am
#33
Island life at last
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: BC
Posts: 2,715
Re: 6 months
Our experience of schools in Canada is that they simply do not want to deal with the issue when it is raised. As with most things, I assume it is due to their reluctance for confrontation.
I have told my kids to hit back if they are hit. We will deal with the fall out as and when. We have spoken to the principals, all of whom have simply refused to do anything.
Fortunately, the principals can at least spell words correctly
I have told my kids to hit back if they are hit. We will deal with the fall out as and when. We have spoken to the principals, all of whom have simply refused to do anything.
Fortunately, the principals can at least spell words correctly
No-one likes confrontation, but if that is what Canadian Principals are like then they do not deserve to be in the role. Personally, I would rather have a Headteacher with some b******s about him/her than one who could spell!
A Principal should inspire confidence and above all IMHO, be a strong character with some level of natural authority. They don't have to teach, but they do have to lead.
Children who hit need to be taught that it is wrong and sanctions need to be set if they do it.
I have had to deal with this in the UK as a teacher and it is a universal issue. You just cannot ignore it - that sends the message it is right.
I would be in there raising merry Hell every time it happened until the Principal got their finger out if it was my child.
I would take the flak for that - but I just wouldn't teach my child that violence is the right solution. For me, that is descending to the lowest common denominator.
Sep 20th 2012, 1:17 pm
#34
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Re: 6 months
Sorry, had typed "Headteacher" and then thought "That is not the Canadian term" and defaulted to UK spelling while correcting!
No-one likes confrontation, but if that is what Canadian Principals are like then they do not deserve to be in the role. Personally, I would rather have a Headteacher with some b******s about him/her than one who could spell!
A Principal should inspire confidence and above all IMHO, be a strong character with some level of natural authority. They don't have to teach, but they do have to lead.
Children who hit need to be taught that it is wrong and sanctions need to be set if they do it.
I have had to deal with this in the UK as a teacher and it is a universal issue. You just cannot ignore it - that sends the message it is right.
I would be in there raising merry Hell every time it happened until the Principal got their finger out if it was my child.
I would take the flak for that - but I just wouldn't teach my child that violence is the right solution. For me, that is descending to the lowest common denominator.
No-one likes confrontation, but if that is what Canadian Principals are like then they do not deserve to be in the role. Personally, I would rather have a Headteacher with some b******s about him/her than one who could spell!
A Principal should inspire confidence and above all IMHO, be a strong character with some level of natural authority. They don't have to teach, but they do have to lead.
Children who hit need to be taught that it is wrong and sanctions need to be set if they do it.
I have had to deal with this in the UK as a teacher and it is a universal issue. You just cannot ignore it - that sends the message it is right.
I would be in there raising merry Hell every time it happened until the Principal got their finger out if it was my child.
I would take the flak for that - but I just wouldn't teach my child that violence is the right solution. For me, that is descending to the lowest common denominator.
Ivory towers are great but, after my kids hit back, the bullies evidently decided to pick on someone else. Not ideal but it worked for us. Wouldn't be necessary if those tasked with keeping the peace did so.
Sep 20th 2012, 2:26 pm
#35
Joined: Feb 2006
Location: Red Deer, Alberta
Posts: 10,612
Re: 6 months
Our experience of schools in Canada is that they simply do not want to deal with the issue when it is raised. As with most things, I assume it is due to their reluctance for confrontation.
I have told my kids to hit back if they are hit. We will deal with the fall out as and when. We have spoken to the principals, all of whom have simply refused to do anything.
Fortunately, the principals can at least spell words correctly
I have told my kids to hit back if they are hit. We will deal with the fall out as and when. We have spoken to the principals, all of whom have simply refused to do anything.
Fortunately, the principals can at least spell words correctly
Sep 20th 2012, 5:03 pm
#36
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Posts: 341
Re: 6 months
Ummmm....sorry, spelling and grammar pendant hat is on....
Principle is not the UK spelling, it means something different. It would be Principal in either country if referring to a Headteacher. Principle means 'basic truth' or 'rule' - it's the same spelling for both these words and their respective meanings in either country.
Principle is not the UK spelling, it means something different. It would be Principal in either country if referring to a Headteacher. Principle means 'basic truth' or 'rule' - it's the same spelling for both these words and their respective meanings in either country.
Sep 20th 2012, 5:28 pm
#37
Island life at last
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: BC
Posts: 2,715
Re: 6 months
I have experience of mutiple parents complaining about the same child and nothing being done. I agree that those in charge should take the necessary steps but, more often than not, they don't as they don't want to upset anyone. I have experience of the victims having to move classes rather than their assailant.
Ivory towers are great but, after my kids hit back, the bullies evidently decided to pick on someone else. Not ideal but it worked for us. Wouldn't be necessary if those tasked with keeping the peace did so.
Ivory towers are great but, after my kids hit back, the bullies evidently decided to pick on someone else. Not ideal but it worked for us. Wouldn't be necessary if those tasked with keeping the peace did so.
Just because it "worked" for your child doesn't make it right.
If you tell your child to hit back, you are effectively making it their problem to solve it, which IMO is unfair .
As a teacher, I feel that is my job because I am an adult and I should
a) be protecting my children and
b) teaching them the right way to behave in the world.
Why should I let a child be drawn into violence by another child whose parents clearly cannot bring up their child properly?
That isn't ivory towers, it is not letting ignorant people dictate your life.
If you tell your child to hit back, you are starting a whole lot more trouble for your kid.
What if you have a kid who is scared as the child is much bigger than them?
What if they don't want to hit back?
What if they do hit back and it is rubbish and they get the c**p kicked out of them in the resulting fight?
What if they are punished for doing so alongside the instigator and get that sort of thing on their school record?
There are so many reasons why it is unfair on the child to expect them to handle it.
I would have more respect for a parent that went round and had it out with the offending child's parent - at least that parent is standing up for their child - than one who just told their child to hit back and then left it to their child to fight it out on their own.
Sep 20th 2012, 6:06 pm
#38
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Posts: 1,746
Re: 6 months
I am completely with you on the abdication of responsibility issue, but I have to say that I believe that parents who tell their child to hit back are doing exactly the same thing - abdicating responsibility for protecting their child.
Just because it "worked" for your child doesn't make it right.
If you tell your child to hit back, you are effectively making it their problem to solve it, which IMO is unfair .
As a teacher, I feel that is my job because I am an adult and I should
a) be protecting my children and
b) teaching them the right way to behave in the world.
Why should I let a child be drawn into violence by another child whose parents clearly cannot bring up their child properly?
That isn't ivory towers, it is not letting ignorant people dictate your life.
If you tell your child to hit back, you are starting a whole lot more trouble for your kid.
What if you have a kid who is scared as the child is much bigger than them?
What if they don't want to hit back?
What if they do hit back and it is rubbish and they get the c**p kicked out of them in the resulting fight?
What if they are punished for doing so alongside the instigator and get that sort of thing on their school record?
There are so many reasons why it is unfair on the child to expect them to handle it.
I would have more respect for a parent that went round and had it out with the offending child's parent - at least that parent is standing up for their child - than one who just told their child to hit back and then left it to their child to fight it out on their own.
Just because it "worked" for your child doesn't make it right.
If you tell your child to hit back, you are effectively making it their problem to solve it, which IMO is unfair .
As a teacher, I feel that is my job because I am an adult and I should
a) be protecting my children and
b) teaching them the right way to behave in the world.
Why should I let a child be drawn into violence by another child whose parents clearly cannot bring up their child properly?
That isn't ivory towers, it is not letting ignorant people dictate your life.
If you tell your child to hit back, you are starting a whole lot more trouble for your kid.
What if you have a kid who is scared as the child is much bigger than them?
What if they don't want to hit back?
What if they do hit back and it is rubbish and they get the c**p kicked out of them in the resulting fight?
What if they are punished for doing so alongside the instigator and get that sort of thing on their school record?
There are so many reasons why it is unfair on the child to expect them to handle it.
I would have more respect for a parent that went round and had it out with the offending child's parent - at least that parent is standing up for their child - than one who just told their child to hit back and then left it to their child to fight it out on their own.
However there is nothing more soul destroying/upsetting than seeing your well mannered child be hit by an out of control non rule following child. Teachers can be *very* ineffective at dealing with it and if the kids has parents who don't care then what else are you supposed to do?
My son hasn't hit anyone for over 4 years. A "friend" was being overly handy with him and in desperation after him crying 3 times at his own party I told him to hit him back. His friend hasn't hit him since. I told the mum and she was like "good". Sometimes it's the only thing that works I am afraid.
Sep 20th 2012, 6:20 pm
#39
Island life at last
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: BC
Posts: 2,715
Re: 6 months
I can see both sides on this one. Yes it's wrong to hit anyone - my rules are simple - if he hits you once you don't hit back - twice - you hit back. Ideal? absolutely not. I hate violence of any sort.
However there is nothing more soul destroying/upsetting than seeing your well mannered child be hit by an out of control non rule following child. Teachers can be *very* ineffective at dealing with it and if the kids has parents who don't care then what else are you supposed to do?
My son hasn't hit anyone for over 4 years. A "friend" was being overly handy with him and in desperation after him crying 3 times at his own party I told him to hit him back. His friend hasn't hit him since. I told the mum and she was like "good". Sometimes it's the only thing that works I am afraid.
However there is nothing more soul destroying/upsetting than seeing your well mannered child be hit by an out of control non rule following child. Teachers can be *very* ineffective at dealing with it and if the kids has parents who don't care then what else are you supposed to do?
My son hasn't hit anyone for over 4 years. A "friend" was being overly handy with him and in desperation after him crying 3 times at his own party I told him to hit him back. His friend hasn't hit him since. I told the mum and she was like "good". Sometimes it's the only thing that works I am afraid.
Nothing is ideal in this situation and I do very much sympathise with parents who try trusting the school only to be let down.
I'd be having it out with the parent at the gates, for preference. The Principal wouldn't like duelling parents on his/her doorstep - maybe then they would step in.
Sep 20th 2012, 6:54 pm
#40
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Re: 6 months
I despair of Canadian teachers if this is the norm.
Nothing is ideal in this situation and I do very much sympathise with parents who try trusting the school only to be let down.
I'd be having it out with the parent at the gates, for preference. The Principal wouldn't like duelling parents on his/her doorstep - maybe then they would step in.
Nothing is ideal in this situation and I do very much sympathise with parents who try trusting the school only to be let down.
I'd be having it out with the parent at the gates, for preference. The Principal wouldn't like duelling parents on his/her doorstep - maybe then they would step in.
Teacher to child who hit my son "Oh come on honey you know you shouldn't hit"... oh ok then... Tell explaining that when you get home to my son who got punched in the stomach the other day...
Ends justify the means... if they can't deal with it properly and it happens again I am going straight to the top. If they don't like that I tell him to hit back - tough... They can tell me off! I've said to him to tell them that I said it was ok and to call me if they have a problem! I'm very mild mannered when it comes to most things - not this tho!
Sep 20th 2012, 6:58 pm
#41
Island life at last
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: BC
Posts: 2,715
Re: 6 months
Come to my son's school and sort them out Helcat.
Teacher to child who hit my son "Oh come on honey you know you shouldn't hit"... oh ok then... Tell explaining that when you get home to my son who got punched in the stomach the other day...
Ends justify the means... if they can't deal with it properly and it happens again I am going straight to the top. If they don't like that I tell him to hit back - tough... They can tell me off! I've said to him to tell them that I said it was ok and to call me if they have a problem! I'm very mild mannered when it comes to most things - not this tho!
Teacher to child who hit my son "Oh come on honey you know you shouldn't hit"... oh ok then... Tell explaining that when you get home to my son who got punched in the stomach the other day...
Ends justify the means... if they can't deal with it properly and it happens again I am going straight to the top. If they don't like that I tell him to hit back - tough... They can tell me off! I've said to him to tell them that I said it was ok and to call me if they have a problem! I'm very mild mannered when it comes to most things - not this tho!
If they don't like confrontation, then go and give them one they will never forget - they will be so frightened of you, they may just be moved to sort it out.
Sep 20th 2012, 7:35 pm
#42
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Re: 6 months
Sep 20th 2012, 11:32 pm
#45
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Re: 6 months
I never said it was right. It was not right for the bully to assault my child.
If you tell your child to hit back, you are effectively making it their problem to solve it, which IMO is unfair .
As a teacher, I feel that is my job because I am an adult and I should
a) be protecting my children and
b) teaching them the right way to behave in the world.
Why should I let a child be drawn into violence by another child whose parents clearly cannot bring up their child properly?
That isn't ivory towers, it is not letting ignorant people dictate your life.
As a teacher, I feel that is my job because I am an adult and I should
a) be protecting my children and
b) teaching them the right way to behave in the world.
Why should I let a child be drawn into violence by another child whose parents clearly cannot bring up their child properly?
That isn't ivory towers, it is not letting ignorant people dictate your life.
Please tell me what you would do: write a strongly worded letter?
What if you have a kid who is scared as the child is much bigger than them?
What if they don't want to hit back?
What if they do hit back and it is rubbish and they get the c**p kicked out of them in the resulting fight?
What if they are punished for doing so alongside the instigator and get that sort of thing on their school record?
What if they don't want to hit back?
What if they do hit back and it is rubbish and they get the c**p kicked out of them in the resulting fight?
What if they are punished for doing so alongside the instigator and get that sort of thing on their school record?
There are so many reasons why it is unfair on the child to expect them to handle it.
I would have more respect for a parent that went round and had it out with the offending child's parent - at least that parent is standing up for their child - than one who just told their child to hit back and then left it to their child to fight it out on their own.
I would have more respect for a parent that went round and had it out with the offending child's parent - at least that parent is standing up for their child - than one who just told their child to hit back and then left it to their child to fight it out on their own.
What if the bully travels to school via bus, or the parent never attends the school?
Last edited by Almost Canadian; Sep 20th 2012 at 11:35 pm.