scilly

If I had stayed in the UK, probably nothing wrong with the UK


But we left in 1967 ........... knowing that OH would get much better jobs overseas. That was still a time when a Northern accent counted against you, even if he did have a PhD and I had a BSc (Hons), we both had "accents".


We left with an idea we might return after 2 years ............... we were both willing to leave , and in agreement with each other about the adventure we were undertaking. It probably helped that we were newly weds, so were undertaking several "new adventures" at the same time.

The first year was not too happy for me .............. we were in Texas during the killings of Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King, with guns everywhere.

We moved up to Canada in August, and we knew we had found our place within 6 months (about March) ............ OH had a job he loved, we liked Vancouver, and I started at a job that I loved in June. We both stayed in those jobs until we retired


That, by the way, was the coldest and one of the snowiest winters that Vancouver has ever had. We didn't use our car for weeks because we had been told "it never snows here, you don't need snow tires". Boxing Day was -18C, there was Arctic fog rising off English Bay and it was very eerie crossing Lions Gate Bridge


It possibly helped that we had no family close by, and we had to pull together .............. being newly weds, we developed our own traditions for Christmas, Easter, holidays, etc, combining the best of each other's previous lives.

At times, we were too busy to even think about what might be "missing" ............... we'd have 12 people for Christmas dinner, all similar to ourselves in having no family close by. At Christmas 1967, we had 10 people of 6 different nationalities round our small table in a 1 bedroom apartment.

We had the fun of forming our own tradition around Thanksgiving, eventually combining southern US, Canadian and a bit of English (sprouts with the turkey) ......... and inviting people who had no family. We once had 14 people round the table for a Thanksgiving ............. with furniture removal so the dining table was in the living room and the easy chairs were in the dining room


England now is by no means the England where I grew up from the mid 50s to mid 60s, and never will be. And that applies even though I grew up in a grimy cotton mill town in Lancashire, with easy access to the moors.

When we do go back, I have to admit that I find places (streets and sidewalks) dirtier and messier than I am now used to. Things seem dingy, people walking the street never seem to look happy .............


and while the thought of living in a small English village with the local church and pub within walking distance is very attractive, I am also sensible enough to realise that is not the life for me as a permanent place to live.

I also realise how difficult it can be to break into the social life of a small village or town and be accepted .............. been there, done that.


Maybe it is that I am just not the kind of person to brood on what was, but look forward to the new experience.

dbd33

The back garden, taken around 6pm. I suppose I could have taken a more dramatically snowy picture earlier in the day but we went riding.

I don't want to seem condescending but, at the same time, a frame of reference would be useful in terms of location; the images you offer plainly aren't of central Brampton but of some anonymous suburb, perhaps Ajax, perhaps Mississauga, perhaps Calgary. Have you been outside of suburban Brampton? Do you know where, for example, Orangeville is?

BEVS

No. It's not that. You guys moved when you were young and footloose. No ties. Heck. I was up for adventures when I was a spring chicken.

You have simply found the right fit for you both. That is all. Others are not so fortunate to gain that feeling from a place, even though it may be what they had hoped for.

Someone who is homesick or who feels that a country is not the right fit for them isn't brooding. There is nothing wrong at all with the way they feel and it isn't something to be judged as somehow lacking in an aspect of character.

It is what it is.

The England I grew up in during the 50's and 60's is not the England of today. However, the place is by no means dreadful at all. Our family and friends are perfectly happy there, enjoying their lives.

According to locals here, New Zealand isn't the place it was in the 60's and there can certainly be moaning about the place going to the dawgs , with the young people all clearing off to Oz and the like because the place is a dead end backwater.


Oliverjude. I do hope you are feeling less homesick soon as it is a wretched feeling and that as a family you come up with a clear plan which will see you all feel settled and contented....wherever that ends up being.

All the best.

colchar

WTF is wrong with you? I am seriously asking here. Every time I think your posts have reached a level of idiocy that cannot be surpassed, you accomplish it.

The images I posted aren't of central Brampton? Despite living in Brampton for more than 30 years I am not sure where this 'central Brampton' you speak of is located. Are you talking about the Four Corners area? If so, I will be there tomorrow so can snap pictures of the complete lack of snow there if you'd like. Since you are such a self-professed expert on, well everything it seems, would you mind telling me where this 'central Brampton' is?

And if you must know the pictures were taken in Bramalea (in the Bramalea Rd. & Bovaird area), which is the eastern portion of Brampton.

As for 'suburban Brampton' - where is this area? All of Brampton is a freakin' suburb.

With regards to Orangeville no, sorry. Despite being there a couple of weeks ago I have absolutely no idea where it is. And even though I dated a girl from Orangeville I've never heard of it before (well, technically, she lived just south of the town limits on Highway #10). Nope, definitely never heard of it and have never drank there nor visited friends there. Not once. What a stupid freakin' question that was.

If you are insinuating that you live in the Orangeville area that might explain why you still have snow. But just a short distance south of you, where I am, there is no snow as demonstrated by the photos I posted.

Tirytory

scilly

Bevs


we were fancy free ............... but we were 27 and 29, so not exactly spring chickens!


but perhaps you are correct in saying that we were up for new experiences ............. and we still are almost 50 years later.


and, yes, we were lucky to both find the ideal jobs for us ............... but I do have to ask

if a person is unhappy in their job in one country and moves to another country to do the same job, are they not likely to still be unhappy in the job?


I taught in England, was not too happy doing it although some of my students have since told me I was the best teacher they ever had. I took one look at teaching in Texas and again up here ...... and said "No way Jose"

it was not for me. I would have been unhappy, especially seeing the difference there was back then between teaching in a grammar school in England and a high school here.

I found a different kind of job in Texas, and then the same kind here.


Surely if you are unhappy in the job, it is better to attempt to re-train, than to think that another country will make it better?


Personally, I think the most important thing is that both spouses should be in agreement with emigrating to a country, and in agreement with why they are doing it.



I do wish Oliverjude all the best and hope that she feels much less homesick soon.

Sally Redux

You look forward to new experiences, but don't want England to change

There are places that really haven't changed that much. OP has only been away 4 1/2 years.

Slogging away at something that doesn't work for you is of dubious benefit.

MillieF

That summed me up for a good long period Jericho....Stupid Canada and the Stupid Canadians (and I'm married to one and gave birth to another!) irritated me big time, for quite a while. It's better now, and I even think I'm starting to like it here...and I'm at last making friends (probably because I've started to think the country is slightly less stupid - not the snow though, I'll never see any value in snow).

I would say that for me, moving to Canada was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I'd lived and worked in the Middle East and North Africa for a long time and came here after 15 years in France(so I'm up for a challenge)....but this was different...I had a lot riding on this, I needed it to be a successful move for my kid and husband...it's been no picnic, and only time will tell if I'm ever happy...I'm not actively unhappy any longer, so that's a start.

OP there isn't a pass or fail mark, it's just a process - and sometimes a bloody long and painful one. I too sincerely hope you start to feel better...it's such a horrible feeling and lots of us have felt it...without the support of BE members I'd have been even more unhappy...and they're here for you too

colchar

The ski and snowboard crowd are firing up their torches and getting their pitchforks ready after that comment!

Novocastrian

Quite interesting Millie. It's been rather the other way around for me (us). Like you we've lived in other places than the UK & Canada and wherever we've turned up we've always been very careful about "criticizing" aspects of a culture merely because those aspects were new to us.

This was equally true for Canada when we first arrived in 1982 and remained true enough for us to choose to return here after an 8 years period in Germany in 1993.

However, especially in the last 8 years we've gradually seen the Canada we signed up for twice disappear, to be replaced by a bovine complacent stupidity in the face of runaway social and fiscal conservatism, an all encompassing pall of failure on the international stage and creeping ugliness all round.

Enough is enough. We're off.

scilly

Hang on Sally ................ stop misreading what I said


I did NOT say that I did not want England to change


I said it was no longer the England where I grew up


That's an acceptance of fact

It would be b***** stupid to expect there to have been no change, even if I had only been away 1 year let alone almost 50.


Equally, I am no longer the person who grew up in England ............ I stand up for myself against "authority", I demand answers from doctors, etc ...................... things I would never have done in the England that then existed



It's a pure statement of fact .............. England has changed and is no longer the England I knew, no more no less


And if I am honest ............... many of the family and some of the friends who stayed in England changed and were / are no longer the people I originally knew. Some in fact never changed

we do change over the years, and grow away from friends and even family.

scilly

I agree that Canada has changed since we arrived, especially in the last 8 years as Harper has re-written Canada in HIS image of what the country should be.

I'm not giving up on Canada yet ................ I'm voting in October and hoping that one of the other parties gets in, and that they can undo a lot of the damage has been done.

At this moment in time, I don't even care whether it is the Liberals or the NDP, as long as it is not the C's again


If you are a citizen and able to vote ................ for heaven's sake exercise that right and try to get this awful shambles corrected.


If not ................ well, I may be stuck here as a senior with a nice house, friends, a good pension, and a daughter and family, but equally I may be pushing the OH to move away .......

........ but I would not go back to England which also seems to be in major trouble, both nationally and internationally.

I would go to NZ, or possibly to certain cooler parts of OZ where I also have relations.

Sally Redux

I just find it funny sometimes on BE in general that the same rules do not apply to the UK as to other countries, the best one being, "It doesn't matter where you are - life's what you make it". (Along with leaving the country due to too many immigrants).

The reasons you're giving for not returning are your reasons. OP does not appear to be in the same situation.

scilly

Sally ...........

I discovered just how fast England can change very early.

My father died very suddenly in 1970, and I went back for 2 weeks.


I had been away 3 years ................. and I quite literally got lost in the centre of my home town because a massive development had taken place, buildings knocked down, new ones built AND major roads changed



Yes, the reasons I give are MY reasons ................. a counterpoint to all those who are posting about why they cannot stay in Canada, and must return to England.

I haven't often seen my viewpoint posted on this forum, at least in the last little while .............. all too often it is complaining about how bad Canada is, and how green England is.


We left because OH got a job, not because of immigrants ................. but also the 1960s was a time when a lot of people moved. 3 out of 4 in my OH's PhD group left the UK, about half of our undergrad groups emigrated, 5 of my cousins (sisters) emigrated to Australia between 1959 and 1968. It was just a time of great excitement and wanderlust.

Something you probably will never understand if you were not a young adult at that time.

scilly

Maybe we should be asking the OP, or anyone who is so very unsettled, whether she / they wanted to come here in the first place .................


if only one spouse really wants to emigrate and the other tags along, then that can make a big difference to how one settles.

Also involved is whether someone has managed to make friends and / or has a job, or is stuck in the house by themselves most of the day with small children.