Farfromhome

Been here a few months, since January (2nd time around) hubby has a good job, children settled well in school, but it feels so blaah!. I just don't see what other new immigrants see, I know that rose coloured glasses will be playing a big part, and we are looking at things different, but at the moment for us it's just where we live. Yes the mountain vista is nice, but is it enough, we are keeping our selves busy and doing as much as we can, trying to fill a void. We miss our families, and worry that our children are missing those bonds also, at the moment they say they'd be happy to return to the UK. We had a nice home and a comfortable lifestyle, but thought that returning to Canada would be good for the children, but just what makes it good for them? No problems with visa'a as we are all canadian's, so we don't need to stick around - so why are we? How long is long enough to make decision about moving on, it's not that we dont' like Canada, but it's certainly not the be all and end all for us, and having spent a number of winters in Alberta, I'm not sure the summer months will compensate for the winter (no matter how mild). Don't suppose I will get much support, but I would be really interested to know what it is that you see!

pennyhp

I don't see Canada as the perfect place to live. I like England. But although we have a decent sized house in a decent area we personally want some of our own space. 30 acres plus should do it. That is something we could never have in the UK.
Also I want my kids to be able to buy a house at some stage.
I like the quiet roads (for the most part).
The same language is spoken, but I know there are still cultural differences that we will have to adjust to and there are many things about the English way of life that I will miss.
But the world is a much smaller place now, and travel so much more affordable and accessable that Canada doesn't feel that far away.

I am not there yet and who knows I may really struggle to feel at home, but It's about giving it a go and who knows.

I am sorry you feel the way you do and hope you can work through it whatever you decide, whether you stay or come back.
Hope you work it out.

Penny

woodmanbg

We have lived in our bungalow for over 30 years. We have just over an acre of land look over fields to the back, water meadows to the front. We have deer in our garden, the fox visits regularly the birds are spectaclar. Our ideal place and hoped never to move from here.

Over this time the motorway has been built the traffic noise is horrendous and you can stand in the garden at 2 in the morning and the roar is still appalling and the motorway is a mile or so away. The airport has developed, and we have been made a noise preferred routing. The neighbours have been changing and people moving in to escape the town are building much larger homes, the unmade lane which was an attraction for us because it didnt encourage people to wander up, has now been tarmaced at the insistence of new people, despite us owning half our frontage - we were physically and mentally abused until we agreed to them doing it. Now they glare at us because we wouldnt contribute to the over £20K they needed to do it - they wanted it they pay for it. They also want street lighting put in, but not in front of their properties, but ours!!

Why do we want to go to Canada, the open space, the fresh air, the blue sky. We are looking for an acreage outside of Calgary and have looked around and like that area to the west. My husbands sinus troubles clear up immediately we go there for a visit, here the air is now polluted by the motorway traffic and the increase in air traffic. We constantly get woken up early morning, late at night with flights going in and out - as we are less populated to the north of the airport they send the majority of anti social flights our way.

We want to ride our bicycles and not have to worry about being run over by a lorry as we go through the local village to get off road! In all we want a better style of living than we have at the moment and we feel we can get that in Canada. The south coast is so over populated now and they are squeezing in even more housing, the green areas are rapidly shrinking.

It may not work, we hope it does, but we have to try. The only worrying feature is that we will not be able to afford this type of property if we come back, having been delighted but horrified at the valuation put on it! So that may well be added incentive to stay and make it work. As I am usually an optimistic person I have to think it will work. The home went on the market on Monday and now we just wait for the right offer to come along and we will be gone.

iaink

Because you arent immigrants, you are returnees? Could that be the answer to your question? How old are they? It seems to me that there is a lot more for kids to do in terms of community activites. Pretty much our whole village showed up for the kids soccer the other day. Maybe if you are living remotely you miss out on some of that? Everyone is different, Im sure you will find some support. Do you ski and all that in the winter? The only way to survive it intact is to embreace it for what it is. If it doesnt work out for you after say a year, after you get used to the new environment, then there is no shame in moving on. FWIW at this stage you are in the prime time for culture shock and home sickness, and yes, it applies even if you are returning to your home country after a long absence.

Good Luck, I hope you find happyness wherever you end up.

suebed

I understand just what you're talking about. I'm a Canadian and after 12 years in England we're going back this summer. I'm really nervous about it because I don't see Canada in a particularly rosy light. So why are we going? English hubby is desperate to start a new life - broaden my children's horizons - try something different before I get old - live a mortgage free life. We're moving to a town where we know nobody so will be starting from scratch. I am apprehensive and expect that I will miss England dreadfully.

Why did you move back?

I guess the thing to do is stop making comparisons, try new things etc. I reckon it will take at least 2-3 years to settle based on my experience of moving here.

Good luck and hope the sun is shining where you are.

Boogiesnake

The world certainly does seem to be getting smaller. I've travelled a fair amount with my job and going abroad for holidays or business isn't the daunting task it used to be. My inlaws seem to have the opinion that we'll leave and never be heard from again - internet telephone and video conferencing will soon sort that out (maybe not such a good thing though ).

I could look for a better life in another part of the UK but I don't see the point in moving to more of the same (postage stamp sized gardens and expensive, crowded estates, tax that doesn't seem to be spent on anything useful etc.) when for many people, 4 hours by car might as well be 8 hours by plane. I've lived in UK all my life and I'm fed up with it. Maybe I'll miss it like hell and realise I've made a mistake but there's only one way to find out.

Tom Masters

I think probably Iaink summed it up. For those of us who are immigrants, there is the novelty value of living in a completely new country. When I lived in the UK, a friend of ours from Australia talked about how much he loved the UK. I couldn't understand why at that time - I have a better understanding now. Anyway, when I asked why he would want to leave Australia and all that sunshine, he said that he grew up with the sunshine and a pool so it wasn't a big deal to him. I, on the other hand, being sun deprived from rainy Scotland, dreamed of living in the sun with a pool!! The point I am trying to make is that maybe it isn't such a big deal to you because you already are Canadian so there is no novelty factor. Although you must have moved back for a reason?

Personally, living in Southwestern Ontario, I really like the hot summers (I feel like I'm on a foreign holiday without having to fly to get there!). I also quite like the snowy winters - prefer it to rain.

I like the open spaces and fields around us with wide roads and much less traffic. Even in the countryside in the UK, we would get stuck in bottle necks because the infrastructure couldn't cope with the traffic. I know you get busy traffic in Canada, but it depends on where you choose to live.

I like being a reasonably short distance from a good beach. Lake's aren't as amazing as the ocean but they are warmer for swimming in!

Most of all, I like the amount of kid's activities available with the weather to enjoy them and the fact that whole families turn up to support their kids. There's a great family atmosphere. People seem to be more outdoorsy in terms of going for family walks, bike rides, roller blades etc. around the neighbourhood no matter what age they are! I just didn't see that in the UK as much.

Finally, I like the lifestyle - larger houses (with pools and hot tubs of course!) that you get over here and the fact that some people have cottages. While in the UK, there are longer holidays and cheaper flights, here there are cottages for those who can afford it, and people go away for the weekends in the sun of course! I am more of a home bird so this lifestyle suits me more.

Well, I am rambling now, but I felt the same way as you did and remember asking the same questions when I first got here. As you can tell, I have adjusted and still prefer to be here despite its faults. You just have to decide which lifestyle suits you and your family the most. At least you have the benefit of having lived in both countries.

I'm sure you will know what to do in time.

Chris

Grah

When we lived in the UK we pretty much got on with our (just wife and kids) life saw the "Family" once or twice a month and holidays. didn't live in a very good neighbourhood and had just started a good job when the visa's arrived.

So moved here, spoke to the family via internet almost weekly at first now call once or twice a month. Kids are doing fine, with 3 girls the fun they have got and are still getting out of playing soccer and community club activities has been great. ( Daughter signed up for a girls only course in the UK and it didn't get 6 players so was cancelled.) The boy has travelled to every province except BC to play soccer so hopefully he's enjoyed all of that.

Have we embraced the camping, winter sports, the great outdoors? No but unlike back home I haven't been broken into 3 times a year I haven't had a bike stolen once here let alone 7 times in 1 year in the UK. Lucky for us, maybe but guess the day to day grind is just same but the option to do so much more is right there for the kids.

So what are you looking for in life? the smell of family or the opportunity to grow in so many different directions for your kids.

P.S a web cam high speed internet at both ends can act as a visit to the family in almost every way except smell and touch. you can do Breakfast with the family or after school bar "B"

R2D2

Maybe you are looking upon Canada, the way that some British people look upon Britain. You know it, you know the faults, its your home country so maybe you don't apprecate it the same way as "new"people going in.

When you went to the UK, did you feel it was all new and exciting the way people on here view their new life in Canada.

For a lot of us, a change of scenery is what we wanted, and if you get more blue skies and open roads to boot, all the better. Not to mention the Rockies.! I sure hope my apprecation of them never leaves me, as they really are one of the most stunning natural sights in the world.

This is why we like it here

Farfromhome

Thanks for all the replays, we are from the UK originally, but have lived in a number of countires over the course of 20 years, we left Canada for the same reason we left the UK, opportunity and adventure and have no regrets.

This time wanted the children to experience the canadain way of life, as they had only visited a couple of times and not lived here. Yes life is ok, but not so much better or worse, yes there are problems in the UK, fortunately we lived in an area that wasn't really exposed to many.

But there are the same problems here, just depends on the area you live, many new immigrants are amazed at the social drug problem here in schools, that they think they are escaping when they leave the UK.

In Calgary/Edmonton unless you live on acerage you will definately have a small garden, one of the things that bugs me is with some much space they build houses virtually back to back and there's no privacy.

Today heard about a bylaw in Calgary that says you can have too many dandalions in your garden, if spotted by the bylaw swat squat they will clean them up and send you the bill $150 up depending on the number of weeds!

Don't forget that there are many canadians applying to emigrate to other countries around the world, because they are disgruntled with, drug problem, social problems, politics - sound familiar.

Yes I agree there is a novelty factory that we don't have this time around and I do envey that because it does make things look newer and brighter, and we don't have to stay, there is no carrot dangling in front of us.

In many ways we dont feel Canada has moved forward very much in our absence, yet when we returned to the UK we felt they had moved on so much since our departure. I kid you not, the radio stations here, in-store music etc. are still playing some of the same songs as when we left!

This isn't knocking Canada, otherwise we wouldn't have returned, and we are seeing it much differently from most new immigrants, but trying to decide what's best for us as a family, without too many emotions, isn't easy.

We can come and go as we please, but as are children are fast approaching an age were we need to be settled for them to move into high school, we need to feel we've done the right thing for at least the next 6/7 years.

iaink

It sounds like you are just the "nomadic" type to me. As Ive said before, life here is really just the same shit in a shinier bucket, and thats true where ever you end up. Some buckets are just nicer looking than others, and come with a larger yard or two cars you can afford.

Ive been here 8 years now, and now have small kids born here. Not a lot of excitement goes on, and you are right about the tunes on the radio. I like that stability, that feeling like canada in places is stuck 30 years behind the UK, and we will deal with the down sides when they come up. For me I prefer it here, its a slower pace of life I think, and there is less to threaten my kids happyness in my rural area. As for drugs in schools, sure it goes on here, but its up to parents to try and raise kids who are aware of the issues, and self confident enough to stand up to that peer pressure to try drug / alcohol / sex, and hopefully all the other stuff they can do will help with that. I hope we as parents get that right, but it doesnt matter where you go, its still up to the parents to raise kids, although it helps when everyone is on the same page.

Im still not sure reading what you posted exactly what it is you are looking for as you move around. Do you even know, or is it just a generally unsettled feeling? Took me almost three years till I was sure that this was "home".

jandro

I returned to Canada after being in the UK for 9 years and my first impression was that many things hadn't changed over the years. I see people driving in old poorly maintained vehicles that would never pass an MOT inspection. Newer cars and SUVs appear more box-like than ever. Many radio stations bill themselves as mainstream but play virtually nothing but eighties music.

Higgy

I agree with you all. One of the main reasons we decided to move to Canada was for a change. We still have to go out to work and pay the bills, do housework, shopping etc but we could do something different every weekend for the rest of our lives there is so much to do and explore here. We had been coming to Canada for years on holiday so we knew what to expect when we got here.

When we moved into a town in Scotland we were called 'interlopers' and were treated like foreign immigrants for 13 years (it was 18 miles away from where we grew up). Since we moved here we have had nothing but a friendly welcome, in fact for a wee while it was a bit 'Stepford'.

I talk to friends and family via web cam whenever the time difference allows and our first visitors from Scotland arrive next week. I'm glad you all agree with me about the radio here (I've started another thread).

KarenT

I've only been in Canada since March and feel a bit like you. But we lived in Fort Worth, Texas for 2 years before that. Although I liked the place it didn't feel like home and I missed my family and friends. It was only after 18 months or so that I started to fell like it was home. There were many bleak moments before that. So I am hanging in there, because I like Canada more than I liked Texas, so hopefully it won't take so long to feel like home.
I would say you would have to give 2+ years before making the decision to stay or go. 5 months is far to soon, even though its tempting. And yes the weather worries me bit. That said we had a hellish 2nd year in Texas on the weather front. The temps started hitting the 100s in May and kept it up until October. After that it was either near 90 or freezing, nothing in between. Nowhere is perfect I guess and you make the most of it.