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When did you tell your rellies and friends?

When did you tell your rellies and friends?

Old May 18th 2006, 8:42 pm
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Default Re: When did you tell your rellies and friends?

Originally Posted by woodmanbg
We have spoken about it from the very beginning. My mother was a war bride, going to Canada 1946 and returning to the UK in l953 so she has lived in Canada for a few years, many years ago and that is as she remembers it. She hadnt said too much really but now it is more definite she starts remarking on the weather over there and how freezing it gets (which I have experienced and give me the snow any day compared to this horrible damp stuff) and well life isnt that much greener over there. I just let the remarks go over my head and just accept that at 82 she will be losing a daughter, son in law and one grandaughter and that will leave a huge gap in her life.

I do feel very guilty about going and leaving her as my Mum is not in the best of health and I did say this to her the other day. Her reply was that it was my life and I should do what I want to do, and I do not think she will ever turn round and say straight out you are doing the wrong thing dont go. My only saving grace is that I have a sister who lives the same distance away from her as I do (over 40 miles) and I have a brother living near Manchester who could do a little more visiting etc., I cannt remember the last time he invited her up to stay for a while, but I suppose its because out of the three of us I am the one who does the most, I am the one who she calls in the middle of the night when she is not well and drive the 40 odd miles and end up staying the night or even taking her to the hospital.

I have however chickened out over the last few days because we have got to the stage where we have had agents in to value the property and hopefully it will be on the market next week, this I havent told her but will have to do so soon because if it sells quickly we could be in Canada by August! :scared:

I will make this suggestion for what it is worth. After you are established in Canada, you could bring your Mum over to stay here. Was she married to a Canadian soldier ? If she was , she is entitled to live in Canada , you know .

Just something to think about. Jim Bunting. Toronto.
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Old May 18th 2006, 8:44 pm
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Default Re: When did you tell your rellies and friends?

Hi

We told our families when we started gathering the info. But we were told by our immigration consultants that it would only take 8 months at most (HA!) and we decided to go for it in December so thought we were having our last xmas in the UK for a very long time.

My family have always been very supportive. They understand why we want to leave and now my dad will get a chance to use his airmiles to come and visit

The in-laws on the other hand were a completely different kettle of fish. Hubby is youngest of 3 and was the only one who saw the parents on a regular basis (that didn't involve dumping the grandkids on them!!!) They understood the reasons for our leaving, but once his dad had a couple of drinks his true feelings came out. I found it very hard to bite my tongue and the longer it went on the worse it got. They do plan to come and visit, but to be honest I hope it isn't too often
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Old May 18th 2006, 10:40 pm
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Default Re: When did you tell your rellies and friends?

Originally Posted by jimbunting
I will make this suggestion for what it is worth. After you are established in Canada, you could bring your Mum over to stay here. Was she married to a Canadian soldier ? If she was , she is entitled to live in Canada , you know .

Just something to think about. Jim Bunting. Toronto.
Yes I realise that, and she still has her Canadian passport, but she is really in bad health and wouldnt get any travel insurance and I am sure would not survive the eight hour plane journey, and should by some chance she did make it to Canada any medical treatment required when there would probably bankrupt us!!!! :scared: No I am afraid apart from any visits home that we would make it will have to be frequent telephone calls so will have to find cheapest source canada to UK.
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Old May 19th 2006, 12:08 am
  #19  
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Default Re: When did you tell your rellies and friends?

It's VERY cheap calling the UK from Canada. We buy a phone card with an access number for 5 or 10 $ and we get hours! Hubby speaks to him mum once a week at least.

I call mine less often, but I also email, and they like to get pics ... and now they got skype,.... last time I called them, and said get that PC on! and we chatted for ages! You can do the video thing as well, but for some reason my mum doesn't like the idea of that!
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Old May 19th 2006, 12:43 am
  #20  
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Default Re: When did you tell your rellies and friends?

I told every Tom, Dick and Harry, ........................family, friends, colleagues......EVERYONE. from quite early on in the process.

Hubby kept quiet at work and told only a couple of close confidente's who he knew wouldn't blab.
He felt if "Da Management" knew he was leaving it would be detremental to our bank balance !!!! (ie, pay rises, bonuses etc)

With hindsight, I should have kept my trap shut too.....................as it became 20 questions repeated every month for what seemed like forever !
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Old May 19th 2006, 9:58 am
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Default Re: When did you tell your rellies and friends?

Originally Posted by Souvenir
As soon as I could get some quarters for the phone.
Am I being thick here? You moved to Canada and then told them?
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Old May 19th 2006, 10:10 am
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Default Re: When did you tell your rellies and friends?

Bit sad really, me and the missus have no parents between us. My brother is in the Boston, Mass and my sister in Oz. My wife's sister is in New York.

Of course the silver lining (can't believe I said that) is not having to worry about leaving people behind. But then the world should always be your oyster if you've got the vision and strength to look for it, family or no family.
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Old May 19th 2006, 10:26 am
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Default Re: When did you tell your rellies and friends?

Originally Posted by Investor
Did you tell them of your plans to emigrate before the application went in or at some point afterwards?

Telling them too soon can mean that the lengthy process can upset them more than it needs to (are you going yet?...........when are you going?......are you still going?.........when is it you're going?)

Telling them later means they think you've been secretive.

What sort of reactions did you get from your folks?
I just said I was going on vacation and attending university in England for a while. Which was sort of true, sort of. It's never been my plan to stay here so I never saw the point in saying 'I'm immigrating to Britain'. However! When I return to Canada, I probably won't be letting them in on that one!
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Old May 19th 2006, 10:27 am
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Default Re: When did you tell your rellies and friends?

Originally Posted by Souvenir
As soon as I could get some quarters for the phone.
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Old May 19th 2006, 11:59 am
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Default Re: When did you tell your rellies and friends?

Originally Posted by Investor
Did you tell them of your plans to emigrate before the application went in or at some point afterwards?

Telling them too soon can mean that the lengthy process can upset them more than it needs to (are you going yet?...........when are you going?......are you still going?.........when is it you're going?)

Telling them later means they think you've been secretive.

What sort of reactions did you get from your folks?
I told most people fairly early on in the process and really wish I hadn't. Family were fine, my sister has lived in Greece for over 20 years and my brother is in Toronto and has been for about 4 years on and off. My mother has been quite supportive, but would rather I was going somewhere other than Canada as she wants some where else to visit

I have to say that most of my friends have been very weird and lots have just disappeared and when I see them or make contact it comes as an absolute shock as if I have risen from the dead or something, and once they get over the shock of being contacted from the other side, all I get is 2000 questions such as "How is Canada?" or "I thought you'd gone?" "Haven't you gone yet?" I guess that they weren't really good friends but......

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Old May 19th 2006, 12:18 pm
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Default Re: When did you tell your rellies and friends?

I just said "I'm just popping out to the shops to buy a paper, won't be long........"

Last edited by Bleech; May 19th 2006 at 12:21 pm.
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Old May 19th 2006, 12:33 pm
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Default Re: When did you tell your rellies and friends?

Originally Posted by Investor
Did you tell them of your plans to emigrate before the application went in or at some point afterwards?

Telling them too soon can mean that the lengthy process can upset them more than it needs to (are you going yet?...........when are you going?......are you still going?.........when is it you're going?)

Telling them later means they think you've been secretive.

What sort of reactions did you get from your folks?

We've told most people, inlaws were fab about it, my Mum on the other hand was not, even if she doesn't say anything she manages to make me feel guilty and we haven't even got our application in yet! Still I had to tell her because otherwise I would have been keeping something from her, I'm the only child and I'm taking her only grandchildren away, but if we don't try now I think we'll always regret it.

BTW I think our friends think it's just not going to happen.
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Old May 19th 2006, 12:34 pm
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Default Re: When did you tell your rellies and friends?

Originally Posted by R2D2
With hindsight, I should have kept my trap shut too.....................as it became 20 questions repeated every month for what seemed like forever !

Yes that's what I am trying to avoid. Limbo-land is bad enough as it is without everyone constantly reminding you that that is where you're stuck.

I think it is inevitable that people's attitudes towards you change once they know what you are going to do, a sort of distancing maybe.
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Old May 19th 2006, 12:49 pm
  #29  
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Default Re: When did you tell your rellies and friends?

Hi All
I lost my dad about a month after we had told them that we were going to apply.
At the time they both thought it would offer us and our kids a better future and although they didn't jump for joy I felt they would have supported us all the way.
To be honest the last thing I thought about in the early days was leaving my mum but as time goes on and you begin to come to terms with the situation you start to re-address the reasons why we wanted to move from this sinking ship of a country.
However since my dad died neither myself or my mum have spoken about the prospect of us moving to canada,even though it is constantly on my mind I haven't been able to bring the topic up :scared: :scared: .
Has anybody else found themselves in a similar situation where you feel torn in 2 directions when you you want to offer your kids a better chance in life but feel terribly guilty

vicki

Last edited by swoops; May 19th 2006 at 12:51 pm.
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Old May 19th 2006, 1:43 pm
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Default Re: When did you tell your rellies and friends?

Originally Posted by woodmanbg
Yes I realise that, and she still has her Canadian passport, but she is really in bad health and wouldnt get any travel insurance and I am sure would not survive the eight hour plane journey, and should by some chance she did make it to Canada any medical treatment required when there would probably bankrupt us!!!! :scared: No I am afraid apart from any visits home that we would make it will have to be frequent telephone calls so will have to find cheapest source canada to UK.
Just so you know....................If she is a holder of a current Canadian passport, she is ENTITLED to FREE health care in Canada, did you know that ?

Any Canadian, who is over age 65 pays NOTHING for health care in Canada. That is one of the rewards of being a Canadian citizen .

Furthermore, once you are here with a PR card, you will qualify for Provincial health care benefits, after 3 months in Canada. In Ontario for instance, the cost for a FAMILY, for a year is $700, and that covers all of you, Mum Dad and the kids. this is paid out of your wages, starting in January, and ends when you have paid the year's premiums, usually in July.

During the 3 month waiting period it is a good idea to have private health insurance as a bridge, to cover the family until you are covered under a Provincial plan. All 10 Provinces and the 3 Territories have health insurance plans.

I hope this is helpful to you.

Jim Bunting. Toronto.
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