ladylord

Myself, husband and young daughter have been living in West Vancouver for the past four months. I've found it quite challenging trying to meet new people, even though I'm joining activity groups etc. as a stay at home mum.

I think an incident at the West Van Recreation Centre has made me question why I'm making an effort. I took my 2 year old for a splash around in the kiddies pool, which happened to be he same day the pool was open to kids from a school for special needs. Many of the kids were older but all having a good time, but in a split second one child from the school who was about 7 yrs came over and started pushing my daughter really hard and then grabbed her and pushed her under the water, and held her there. I immediately grabbed him and pushed him away. It left my daughter in tears as well as myself.

The lifeguard was attentive, but not one of the adults or mums in the pool came over to assist or ask if we were ok, in fact some people gathering in the viewing area, and turned the other way when I glanced over.

At the moment I feel crap and disappointed.

rivingtonpike

A terrifying incident like that can happen anywhere in the World. There are good and bad people everywhere. Just try and balance the arseholes you will encounter with the hugely friendly and helpful Canadians you will inevitably meet. Why not see if there are more Brits in your area who have lived there a bit longer. We found that by doing this, they knew more Canadians who, in time, have become our friends too.

dboy

I think Canadians tend to be very respectful of authority figures and tend to have an attitude of not wanting to interfere.

that being said a couple of years back I was in a car accident and stuck in the car, bleeding from the head a quite dazed (not seriously hurt) ...I was had been hit by a taxi who ran a red. Two passengers in the vehicle were more concerned with a getting a replacement cab and the driver more concerned with calling his company. Leaving some owd fella to call 911 and assist me.

As for getting to know folks. West Van is very stuffy and insular. They role up the sidewalks at 600 pm. Noth Van i find is frendlier and has a fair few brits kicking around. Taylor Crossing has more than a few brits who go in there as does the Eagles on 3rd and Chesterfield. Drop by one saturday around 4 ish and get to know some of us..lots of Banter, just like at home.

all the best

mrtomsterman

Most canadians I have come across have been quite friendly.
I think what everyone has said is true that there isnt really one place where everyone is good. There will always be rotten eggs.
But at least you have a friendly community here eh

ladylord

Thanks for your responses. I think the experience with the taxi is appauling, but you've remained positive. We'll hopefully pop in to the Eagles one Saturday as suggested. Can't say I've enjoyed the West Van where we live so far, apart from the views. We're only renting, and really flexible on location. Any suggestions would be welcomed.

dboy

Depends what you are looking for and what you can afford. West Van as you know is very expensive and as nice as it is, is pretty sleepy with not much going on.

North Vancouver has a better mix of people, Lower Lonsdale and Central tend to be bit more lively. North Van is cheaper and property tax are half as much. Personally i don't care for west van other than a walk down Ambleside around the sea wall.

Oink

You need to get your child a Burberry's check swimming costume. Unlike the UK, the West Van locals will think it's very posh and thus you must be one them sort and coming running to help.

ladylord

We would like a house with outdoor space and a garage for outdoor stuff. Close to amenities and a reasonable size of about 3 bedrooms. Top of the list is to be in a friendly community.

ladylord

I did spy a rather gorgeous pink knitted Juicy Couture baby change bag with brown leather trim.

canadian_critic

You should have called the police. This is repugnant. They may be special needs but this doesn't excuse just letting them loose to the danger of others. I'm glad I wasn't in your shoes because I would have knocked his bloody block off.

You see this is part of what is ****ed up about Canada. Nobody here would see anything right about what you did; instead seeing you as the perpetrator of the problem. Special needs means the need EXTRA supervision not none or less. It's all very liberating I'm sure to let them loose on others but their carers should be held totally accountable for their actions. What you've described here is a murder attempt, and I would be holding somebody accountable.

And the indifference you've just described, is rife here in my own experience. There is simply no compassion for others other than friends and family. They'd much rather watch you in pain than help. I know canadian tv is tragic but people don't seem to have anything better to do than gawp but then look the other way if you make eye contact. I have the same thing when my kids have squabbles. But of couse that never happens to the oh so perfect Canadian kids aka stepford wife experiments

dboy

You need professional help buddy.

dboy

Not sure if you are after renting or buying. Renting is certianly more affordable and opens more options. I personally don't like most of Vancouver's suburbs and would try and stay as close to Vancouver as possible.

Don't discount townhouses, i find that they can be bigger than typical UK houses. North Van would be a good place. Over options would be North Burnaby. If you do want the burbs, look at south surrey or Port Moody.

ExKiwilass

Ignoring CC to say what you've described could happen anywhere.

I also think it takes a long time to feel settled, and at 4 months in you just don't know enough people yet. Vancouver in general is notorious for it being difficult to break with the locals, however, I also found it difficult in Melbourne in Australia. I think to a degree you get this in any city where the locals have their own circles of friends etc. It's hard. It can be lonely.

I also think you have to pick your areas. Why did you choose West Van?

ladylord

We decided on West Van purely on the house, even though the garden is unusable. We moved in last November and there didn't seem to be a great selection of houses with a garages and space for all our furniture. Looked at what was available at the time in Deep Cove (expensive), Londsale (new build but small townhomes) and even the Sea to Sky Highway (too far). Some properties were is a poor condition.

We are in British Properties, it's a mix of homes from the 50's which many residents have lived in most of their lives, so their much older than us, not that that's a problem, but younger families to socialise with are few and far between.

JonboyE

I agree with Kiwilass. Again.

Regardless of where you go it takes time to make friends. Getting out and about and meeting as many new people as possible increases the chances of meeting someone who will become your friend. However, it is no guarantee that anything will happen within any particular timescale. It is particularly difficult if you are in an established community because people already have their way of life set. They may be very nice people but they are simply not looking for new friends in the way you are.

Mrs JonboyE put a lot more effort than I did into trying to establish new friendships but I don't think we see anyone now from her active friend hunting days. Lasting friendships seem to happen naturally.

I also think it is easier if you mix as much as possible with other immigrants. All our friends are immigrants in one way or another. It may be they are looking for new friends as well but, more likely, they share some sort of common experience with you. An experience that locals, particularly the "always lived here" locals will never be able to understand.

So rest assured that friendships will happen - you just have to give it time.