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Went back to the UK for 3 weeks and.......

Went back to the UK for 3 weeks and.......

Old Aug 25th 2011, 10:46 pm
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Default Re: Went back to the UK for 3 weeks and.......

Originally Posted by Lemi View Post
It's interesting how emigration affects the relationships and dynamics within the extended family.

For example, the main reason we came to Canada was to get a really nice big house, but in doing so inadvertently alienated ourselves from my family back home. An unforeseen consequence of this will be that now,when my infirm and elderly parents croak, my creepy "I'll take you shopping Mum", "I'll drive you to your hospital appointment Dad" sister will no doubt swoop in like the vulture she is and inherit their not insubstantial estate.

Then, before you know it, she'll go and buy herself a nicer, bigger house than the one we had to come all the way out here to get.

Some days I really wonder why we bothered.
The manipulative cow. It'd be funny if she did all that brown nosing but ended up with nothing.
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Old Aug 26th 2011, 2:30 am
  #47  
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Default Re: Went back to the UK for 3 weeks and.......

Originally Posted by helcat12 View Post
Presumably people emigrate for all the good reasons you have quoted - self-improvement, better family life, more free time, etc and if you have achieved all those things why would you then be dissatisfied enough to come back?

Surely if someone has emigrated to improve their life and get better things for themselves and their family, they thought about it and researched it thoroughly and confirmed that it would indeed offer what they wanted.
Because sometimes the reality is oh so very different to the "dream".
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Old Aug 27th 2011, 7:38 pm
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Default Re: Went back to the UK for 3 weeks and.......

Originally Posted by MikeUK View Post
The glass contains an equal mixture of water and air, it is neither completely one or the other, nor can you pretend it to be anything else..
Interestingly the glass contains equal volumes of life’s essential ingredients
I've never much understood that expression. Yes I know people relate it to whether people are positive or negative, but I find it a weak analogy.

Saying the glass is half empty, is a sign of one's preparation for the future. So if we substitute a beer glass in the example, you might think "shit my glass is half empty, better get another".

Conversely the person who's glass is always half full, (a) never drinks anything, so by that definition is already dead, and (b) when they finally get a reality check that a half full glass will eventually be a nearly completely "un-full" one, and to avoid dying, will go up to the bar, only to be behind the "glass half empty" guy. They won't be so positive then will they?!
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Old Aug 27th 2011, 8:03 pm
  #49  
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Default Re: Went back to the UK for 3 weeks and.......

Hi. It's a long time since I've contributed to this forum. I had to register again, because I've completely forgotten my old user name and password.

I just want to say that I empathise with the poster of this thread. I moved to Edmonton in 2006 with my husband who was born in Canada, but had lived 25 years in the UK. Having been made redundant, in his fifties in the UK, he was able to find a job here.

He loves the job, and he has family in BC, so I'm sure that if he was on his own, he'd stay here in retirement. But, I've never settled here. I'm very homesick, and just cling on, looking forward to going home when my husband retires. Financially, it made a lot of sense moving here, but I really regret doing so. I wish we'd stayed in the UK. Living here is like serving a life sentence.
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Old Aug 27th 2011, 10:45 pm
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Default Re: Went back to the UK for 3 weeks and.......

Originally Posted by helcat12 View Post
Wizard and The Bear - you are genius and ought to do self-help talks for a living

I would reinforce everything you have said.

When considering immigration and then going through it, it is important to take a step back from your emotions and look at the reality.

You will feel lonely, you will feel at a bit of a loss and you will miss things and people about the UK.
FACT.

Prepare yourself for that and then accept it is happening as a natural process and part of the readjustment.
Just because it is three years now doesn't mean that you will never feel better - people respond at different times and for different lengths of time.

Don't be disturbed by the fact that your children and husband have embraced Canada leaving just you alone. Children always adapt very quickly, even if they HATE the place to begin with and kick up the worst fuss about leaving.
Your husband has a job he is happy with and that is a major part of his satisfaction with life there. Not meaning to be sexist, but there are general differences between the way men and women tend to respond to these moves and it is often the woman who feels the "homesickness" more.

Ignore the gainsayers and get positive, like Bear and Wizzard say.

Stop looking back and look forward.
Stop looking at the happiness of your husband and children from the outside and go join them in it.
The alternative doesn't bear thinking about.
MonsterJosh
London Mike
helcat12
Wizzzzzzard
The Bear.

I agree with all of your posts with 2 thumbs up for each of them!

Currently only 20 (literally only been 20 for 2 weeks haha), and going into my 3rd year of uni. My plan is to move to Vancouver relatively soon after I get my degree, although I'd love to move very soon after I can see it not being till I'm in my mid 20's. Your posts though outlined something in particular for me. To sum it up, what I took from your comments was that it won't be all sunshine and rainbows and people (the original poster) have to prepare for scenarios that are all great. In the case of the poster, I don't feel she did and that's why she's finding it extremely difficult to let go of home.

Long story short, thank you for shining a light on something I'd not really examined to a great extent and that is, the down sides of moving from the UK. Still though, the only downsides I can think are immediate family and friends, both of which I have some in Vancouver. Thank you anyway though, it's another side to emigrating I'll seriously consider, as the downsides haven't been my priority . Wish me luck haha
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Old Aug 28th 2011, 3:00 pm
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Default Re: Went back to the UK for 3 weeks and.......

Originally Posted by canadian_critic View Post
I've never much understood that expression. Yes I know people relate it to whether people are positive or negative, but I find it a weak analogy.

Saying the glass is half empty, is a sign of one's preparation for the future. So if we substitute a beer glass in the example, you might think "shit my glass is half empty, better get another".

Conversely the person who's glass is always half full, (a) never drinks anything, so by that definition is already dead, and (b) when they finally get a reality check that a half full glass will eventually be a nearly completely "un-full" one, and to avoid dying, will go up to the bar, only to be behind the "glass half empty" guy. They won't be so positive then will they?!
I think you need professional help.
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Old Aug 28th 2011, 9:37 pm
  #52  
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Default Re: Went back to the UK for 3 weeks and.......

i just sent you a PM......!!


Originally Posted by Monsterjosh View Post
We emigrated to Alberta in 2006.. I loved it but it was too much of a culture shock for us, I came home in 2009 when my Brother passed away and after returning to Canada I never really settled again.. I missed my family and 'Britishness'.. Trees/Ocean certain food etc.. My hubby never wanted to come home, and fought me every time I mentioned it, but he could see how much I wanted to so we moved back to the UK in December 2010.. We are now in the throws of making the move back to Canada as what I thought I had missed for nearly 5 years was in deed a case of 'when you can't have something you miss it'.. we have simply out grown the British way of life.. we were told not to come back by everyone, even the family members that really missed us! and it is only having spent the last 8 months home that we realize how right they were! England hasn't changed.. we have!.. we prefer the laid back way of Canadian life.. not having to worry about leaving your Bbq or kids toys in your front/back yard.. I freak every time the kids go near the road, cos in Canada they would have the right of way and that's the way they were brought up!.. The kids are having a hard time at school too.. British kids are so mean and down right rude, some of the language that comes out of a 5-8yr olds mouths is appalling!.. and the kids keep asking about moving back. I realize how selfish I was to make them move, and in hindsight would have stayed, but the feelings were so strong I couldn't see any other way round it.
We don't live far from family now, but due to everyone's life style/work etc we really don't see them that often.
So with all that said we now have to wait until we can afford to move back which will be around spring 2012.. and this time we will be moving to NS (which is where we originally wanted to emigrate but couldn't find jobs) it is much more like England and at least I will be near the sea which I missed terribly in the Prairies.. Regardless of anyone else's judgement or opinions on your decision only you can do what you feel is right for you, I know now that I made a huge mistake, and we as a family are paying for that.. But I had to do it to realize what we really did have, and what we really don't have or will never have in the UK.. I can go back to Canada knowing that England will always be the place I was born, and I am proud to be British(to an extent).. but Canada felt like home, we were made very welcome and it's the Country I want to bring my children up, and grow old in!..
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Old Aug 28th 2011, 11:06 pm
  #53  
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Default Re: Went back to the UK for 3 weeks and.......

Originally Posted by canadian_critic View Post
Does sound like you had a strong relationship with family and friends in Britain, which makes it worse. What is it about life in Canada that you can't get used to? Is it not having family around or something more?

If you're all feeling the same then I wouldn't hesitate in saying go back, but it seems that your family is doing ok, and you're at least in work. If you go back your OH will quickly find reasons to not like it there and who knows. I don't think Britain is as bad as people make out though. Would definitely consider moving at any time, but I wouldn't (and haven't) at the first sign of trouble. Moving back has to be planned like moving here, even though it's probably a lot easier (and 3 years isn't so long).

I think the fact you're employed makes a big difference, assuming it's meaningfully employed. This is a mighty lonely place if you're not. Same goes for Britain though, you'd have to be sure you would walk quickly into employment, and nowadays that's really uncertain there. GL!
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Old Aug 29th 2011, 6:57 pm
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Default Re: Went back to the UK for 3 weeks and.......

Originally Posted by Berto91 View Post
To sum it up, what I took from your comments was that it won't be all sunshine and rainbows and people (the original poster) have to prepare for scenarios that are all great. In the case of the poster, I don't feel she did and that's why she's finding it extremely difficult to let go of home.
You can prepare for everything you can think of,

Its the stuff that you didn't think, of and didn’t prepare yourself for, that nails you!


or put another way most people who emigrate see it as a one way trip, something they’ll never look back upon, and don't prepare for possible failure
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Old Aug 29th 2011, 10:29 pm
  #55  
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Default Re: Went back to the UK for 3 weeks and.......

Originally Posted by canadian_critic View Post
I've never much understood that expression. Yes I know people relate it to whether people are positive or negative, but I find it a weak analogy.

Saying the glass is half empty, is a sign of one's preparation for the future. So if we substitute a beer glass in the example, you might think "shit my glass is half empty, better get another".

Conversely the person who's glass is always half full, (a) never drinks anything, so by that definition is already dead, and (b) when they finally get a reality check that a half full glass will eventually be a nearly completely "un-full" one, and to avoid dying, will go up to the bar, only to be behind the "glass half empty" guy. They won't be so positive then will they?!
I solved this conundrum when I moved to Canada.

All you have to do is tell your server at the start of your session to bring you another pint as soon as they see your glass get down to the final third. That way you are kept in beer all night and the glass is always half full.

In the UK there was no table service
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Old Aug 29th 2011, 10:43 pm
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Default Re: Went back to the UK for 3 weeks and.......

Originally Posted by JamesM View Post
I solved this conundrum when I moved to Canada.

All you have to do is tell your server at the start of your session to bring you another pint as soon as they see your glass get down to the final third. That way you are kept in beer all night and the glass is always half full.

In the UK there was no table service
If you were concerned that you might run into a potential pint half empty problem during an evening’s drinking, I found standing at the bar the preferred location.
I also found that some police men took a very “pint half empty” approach to you moving your beer between venues when you were trying to avoid the empty beer glass problem
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Old Aug 31st 2011, 4:35 am
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Default Re: Went back to the UK for 3 weeks and.......

Originally Posted by MikeUK View Post
You can prepare for everything you can think of,

Its the stuff that you didn't think, of and didn’t prepare yourself for, that nails you!


or put another way most people who emigrate see it as a one way trip, something they’ll never look back upon, and don't prepare for possible failure
Sorry I actually meant to say "have to prepare for scenarios that aren't all great."

I agree, lots, not just on here, seem to assume it'll be fine and dandy with no hassle.

Also perseverance seems what some people lack. I feel that's also due to them being unprepared for bad situations. Just my two cents anyway
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