Tom Masters

Hi Becky

We moved here over 6 years ago and love it. Our kids have a great life. It's very family oriented. We moved because partly we wanted to live abroad and partly because we thought it would be a great place to raise a family.

My mum came over with us but my dad lives in the UK. He used to visit us in the UK every 6 weeks for an evening (only lived an hour away). Now he visits for almost a month every summer and has much better quality time with the kids during that month than he ever did during his short visits in the UK. Our kids equate summer with grandad and love that time with him. They will grow up with great memories of those times I'm sure.

I understand why you might feel like you're being selfish. It's hard trying to please everyone. In the end of the day though, you are thinking about your kids' futures which isn't selfish at all. I know if my kids decide to live in another country when they grow up it would be hard but I would always want them to be happy and do what they felt was right for them. I wouldn't feel great if they didn't live their lives to the full the way they felt was right because of me.

blondebecky

Guys...

Thank you so much for all your positive replies. It is so nice to hear all of your thoughts and the experiences you have been through.

You are all defo right about the needing to do what is right for your own family but i am and always have been one of those people that worries constantly about keeping others happy. I'm hoping that once they visit they will see for themselves our reasons for doing this.

Thanks everyone

Becks x

Bucks_Family

Maybe best just to concentrate on keeping your kids and hubby happy first, this will keep you yourself happy. As others have said, extended holidays for the grandparents to visit might give them more quality time with you and the grandkids than if you stay in the UK. That'll certainly be case with us - a month or so's continuous contact during a summer visit beats three or four weekend visits during the year.

paolosmythe

Humans are inherently selfish. It is impossible to deny it and pointless to try.

Even the greatest act of generosity, is motivated by the urge to feel good about oneself. The greatest act of heroic selflessness, such as risking / losing one's own life to preserve the life of another can be said to be ultimately, a selfish act; based upon training / expectation / social perception.

Point is, you might wish to emigrate to satisfy yourself (I know i did) but some relatives may express an opposition to such a plan, to satisfy themselves. So who's the 'better'?

Frankly, i would find more tolerable the person who persues a life of personal fulfillment through their own endeavour, rather than those who expect everyone else to curtail their ambitions, to do as they preferred.

Oh and never underestimate the value of web cams. Skype etc are wonderful and free.