JulesinUK

Hi all,
I haven't posted anything for a while now although I often have a read of other posts.
We are AOR Dec 2004 and were originally quoted 21 months.and had a letter in Aug stating that due to delays, we should have our applications reviewed by next Aug(07)
We are a family of 4 with one boy who is 16 and can't wait to go to Canada and a girl of 14 who last night suddenly said out of the blue that she is having second thoughts and doesn't think she wants to now- a mixture of reasons. She has in the last year made a really nice group of friends and of course, now has a boyfriend.!!! They are all inseparable and she said that she finally feels really settled where she is.
As she has just started her GCSE courses and our son has just started A levels, we wouldn't be going probably now for 2 years.
What has been a dream and an aim for about 3 or 4 years, seems to suddenly be disappearing into the distance. When we originally applied, we thought we would just be there by now and circumstances have changed such a lot.
I know that if we don't end up going, we will regret it at some time in the future but its suddenly getting complicated.
Has anyone with similar age children any words of advice. I've told her she will still be able to keep in touch with the friends what with msn, webcam etc but I think she feels she will have trouble fitting in at school. She is quite socialble but she seems happy in her comfort zone.
Any words of wisdom greatfully received.

Souvenir

Teenagers change their minds/boyfriends/girlfriends more often than they change their underwear. I shouldn't worry about it too much.

sue8899

Don't worry. We came with two teens. They waivered but we had to really stress that it is a big world and they will get to see and experience things that their mates are not and if they really didn't like it then they would soon be old enough to do and go where they wanted. They have both settled in well and although the oldest (nearly 18) is thinking of going back to england for a few months over the winter he says he definately wants to come back here (think it has something to do with pubs and being age of majority in england!!). Let your kids know jobs are pretty abundant for kids here (mine move in and out of them) and the good points will outweigh the bad points. Yes they will be homesick but their mates can visit, both ours have had mates here over the summer, and they got a kick out of showing then something different. Its hard but it is your life and it took me a while to figure out i cannot live my life to do what the kids want. I am the parent! and if i did screw their lives up for a while it would sort itself out eventually. Give it time when you get here, it does take time to settle in and get the kids to find out on the net things to do, clubs to join, forums to join in their area and stuff makes it easier. Hope this helps.
Cheers

Lees147

I think that you should move but for different reasons by the time that she turns 18-19 she will be able to apply for Canadian citizenship (doesn't mean she will get it) but lets assume she does.

Now she can come and go as she pleases and if she feels she wants to move back then there would be nothing stopping her.

Where as if none of you go it is an oppertunaty of a lifetime missed based on a decision made by a 14-15 year old who is about to leave school/ possibly her friends behind anyway.

I know it wont be nice feeling like a tyrant for a while but it is easier for them now than it will be in the near future if she changes her mind.

dentaltech

we are due out on saturday , my eldest who is 18 went on the 1st september and stayed with hubbies new boss. i miss him terribly and so does my 15 year old. but all i can say for him , he talks like he has been there years ( not accent ) but he is full of it , he goes to college , the people he is staying with have kids and they have included him in everything , in the uk he was at work , had his own car , but now he has to catch the bus and tube , he will have to rely on us again as he can not work whilst we r on work visa's. his last call was last night and he said , he will never come back , he has made some great friends.

now the 15 year old turned round last week and said , he was staying here , he did not want to go , panic !!!! one son there , house sold , furniture gone , but he has since changed his mind , he has the chance to stay with my sister or his grandparents , but now he has seen how is brother is getting on he feels more confident, they are like chalk and cheese , the eldest is quite shy and likes to keep him self to himself , but he is like a new person , so i have hope for the youngest.

i will let you know in a months time , :scared:

JulesinUK

Thanks to you all!
Its good to hear of other people with the same problem.Its true that if the opportunity is there to make the move, we'd be silly to not take it up and life certainly is all about new experiences good and bad after all!

Lees147

Hopefully not to bad

Souvenir

Anything is better than Churchill Square, just remember that.

Lees147

It's got 10 times worse in the last 3 years!!!

Brighton is about to sink due to excessive weight!!!

Souvenir

Oh great. I'll be over there at the end of October, for the first time since January. I always pick the very best times to visit.

Lees147

Students galore at the moment

Why does a small city need 2 Universities?

Souvenir

One university and a former polytechnic, actually.

You probably wouldn't like to live in Halifax NS. Same size as Brighton; five universities.

Lees147

I wonder if they do degrees in playstation there as well then lol

No1_mom

we started our process over 5 years ago originally trying for America with no success, and are now at the end of the line (we hope) for Canada as we have passed our medicals etc. Our daughter now 20 (on Sunday) has decided not to come - same thing, love, studies etc. we Have though kept her on our application and she has passed her medicals etc - she will register with us and fly back. So long as she spends 2 out of 5 years in Canada she can still come. if we take her off the application it is doubtful she would ever come or even pass the application process.

There is no way we would give up our dreams to go - children leave you eventually and we would have given up our dreams which would have affected our younger children. My dad did it years ago when he got the chance to go and my mum didn't. he now regrets it and is looking forward to coming to visit us.

Life isn't easy but you have to think long term, and what is best for everyone. Just imagine you deciding not to go so you 'don't lose her' - and in two or more years time your daughter gets the travel bug or a wonderful international job and moves abroad - she therefore has the wonderful exciting life and you are stuck in poor depressed UK

dingbat

I worked in Sainsbury's Churchill Sq round the back bit in the eighties....also worked on Western Rd McDonalds and Dig in the Ribs on Preston St during my student days. Bet it's changed now.