Howefamily

I so agree with whats written here.
I have come to the conclusion that breakfast cereal aside, what would be great is to be paid in pounds, spend dollars and have your favs constantly shipped over from Tesco for free - silly idea I know but would be so nice! Then you could spend the time wandering about the store making conversions to pounds in a mode of delight and buying whatever you like

gillyd65

Hi Everyone Thanks for your words of wisdom and encouragement. Like I said earlier we are going to give it 12 months (with a trip back to the UK in April). We had a good chat last night and agreed that its a fantastic country, the people who we have met are lovely, there is nothing that we can really complain about or don't like which in a way makes us feel a bit stupid, its just this deep nagging feeling....... Hopefully as many of you have said it may ease over the next few months.
Dashie -Yes we are near Talbot Creek Midwives. I would like to have a chat if at all possible. I'll try and pm you but I'm new to this so it might take a while!.
Optimistic Pessimist - I wish you luck
Thanks everyone

Zap0ne

On balance it seems that you gave the UK 46 years of your life to feel comfortable, I am sure that you might want to at least give your new life a couple of years. Seems very early.

Keep your chin up and get busy with living

julius smith

hi, gillyd...i just sent you a PM!!

MarylandNed

Yeah - I would say 12 months is the minimum if you're really serious about giving it a real go. That way you at least experience all seasons especially winter - although the noises I've been hearing suggest that this coming winter could be a mild one. I've been to London, Ontario fairly regularly over the past couple of years (my daughter is at college there now) and I know London had a lot of snow last winter - much more than usual.

Moving with kids of that age is difficult. My wife and I are the same age as you but our last move was almost 14 years ago when we had 3 small kids (all 4 and under). That was the 2nd cross-Atlantic move for the oldest two and they didn't bat an eyelid. Moving anywhere with the kids now would be really difficult - so I sympathise with you and your son. Obviously you want your son to be happy and knowing that he is unsettled is surely affecting you too. Homesickness is normal. Actually, I don't think it ever really goes away because you always miss family and friends and certain other things about the mother country. Over time, the feelings of homesickness become less frequent and they are easier to deal with.

We moved back to the UK after 7 years in Canada and it took us about 2 years before we even started to feel settled in the UK again. However we then moved to the US where we've been ever since. It took us much less time to settle once back on this side of the pond and we can't imagine ever returning to the UK now.

Anyway, you will have a better feel for things after a few more months. Best of luck!

Jackie Shep

Hi.
I have just landed in Ontario at the grand old age of 49 (my husband is 53). I have a sister out here and have visited for the past 8 years. We decided to apply for permanent residency and got it..so here we are.

We are staying with my sister & family presently but hope to move to the London area as we believe that is where we will find work.

It's hard when you move to another country...the language might be the same but there are still lots of differences...take each day as it comes and embrace the changes....life would be boring if everything was easy..comfortable and familiar....change is good

I didn't anticipate how much I would miss some of the things from back home...but I keep telling myself.....small steps will lead to better things and I'm sure they will.

Chin up.

Maria_747

Hi gillyd65,

If its any consolation, I lasted almost 4 months in Canada and am now back in the UK. It took me 3 and a half years getting my PR status. The most silliest thing I ever did was I packing my furniture in a 20 ft container to Toronto and taking my mother who really didn’t want to go in the first place. Now, all my items are being shipped back to the UK and am staying with family friends until I can return to my house in July (as I rented it out for the year as I thought I would not be returning to the UK for at least 3 to 4 years). I have had to pay an extra month’s rent for an empty apartment as the prospective tenant’s application was declined at the eleventh hour. Now, thank God, it has been sublet for the rest of the contract.

I initially moved to Canada so my mother would be near her family after my father passed away and wouldn’t be lonely and also I would have good career prospects as well. I am not saying Canada is a bad country, it’s a nice country with good people but I was living in the wrong location Brampton (with regards to my prospective employment prospects, I hated living in that place) with not very good public transport links to get into downtown. I had to live there because it was near to one of my mother’s sisters.

I didn’t have a car and my relatives who are long term Canadian citizens who initially persuaded us to leave our settled life in London, UK (with all our close friends and family) promised that they would help us, were never really that forthcoming, they were busy with their own lives, plus one cousin made me buy stuff I didn’t really need and I wasted loads of money and fleeced me. My mother was very lonely all day on her own (her sisters who are retired didn’t stay much as they said they would) plus she has arthritis and is not as mobile and was more comfortable with her friends and doctors in the UK. I found certain aspects of Canadian living more expensive than UK (internet, TV and mobile phone and car insurance) and their banking system archaic. One of my close friends who lives in Montreal said I was living in the wrong city. Also, I did feel the culture shock as well and found it hard making friends.

In hindsight, I really should have stuck it out the year, but my mother’s health was deteriorating mentally as well as physically and I was very depressed myself and let down by the relatives and felt I needed to be back home amongst my great support network of family and friends which was much more helpful and for peace of mind. If I was on my own, I would have stayed the year but hand on my heart would have eventually returned to the UK.

The positive side of this disastrous move is, I would forever have wondered for the rest of my life why never went to Canada when I had the PR status and the chance to go and never availed it. Having said all this, I haven’t given up on Canada totally, it’s just my family circumstances and probable location which did not make it favourable for me to settle well at this time. At present I am positive and basically will have to ‘get on with it’ in the UK and not keep going over the past 6 months mistakes. Despite my bad decision making and great financial loss. It’s not the end of the world and at least Mum is better and can’t wait to move back to our house and see our friends and real family who never wanted us to leave in ther first place.

spooooook

Hi gillyd65,

To respond to the question in your original post, I moved to Canada (from my home town not too far away from yours) on a PR visa in January 2010, at 46 years old. My personal circumstances are different from yours, as I am single (divorced) and moved here alone to take up a job.

I haven't found it easy either, and many times still wonder what the hell I have done, and did I do all this several years too late? I had a false start job-wise in the small town I moved to when I first landed and this, together with the isolation of being a newcomer to a small rural town, gave rise to similar feelings to those you have described. Although I have now moved to the 'big city' and have my head down in a new job, the feelings of loneliness and isolation have not gone away - you can feel just as isolated and unsettled in a big city as you do in a remote rural location (perhaps more so) until you can establish a social circle, which is difficult to do when you are starting from scratch as a newcomer with no friends or relatives to call on. No need to get the violins out, but at the moment I'm leaving an empty house to go to work every day and returning to an empty house at night, and have little human contact until I return to the office the next working day. At least you have your close family round you in your new home, which has to be a massive plus, and you also have your distant relatives to fall back on. In contrast, I know absolutely nobody here. Sure, my close family are always there for me on Skype or at the end of a phone (time difference permitting!), but it's not the same as knowing that there is someone there waiting for you when you come home from work every night.

During my dark times (and to be honest they have been many and frequent of late) I have kept reminding myself that I made a promise to myself before coming over that "the project" deserved 5 years, after which I would reassess the position. In the meantime, I console myself with the fact that I can, if I want to, speak to my friends and close family in the UK on Skype anytime or even jump on a plane to go and visit them, and the visits I have made home and they have made here since I arrived have certainly helped. Things continue to be difficult though, and the self-doubt still lingers on even though it is nearly 2 years down the line now.

People I know who have come over here have told me that it can take up to 5 years before you feel completely adjusted and comfortable in Canada, so I'm sticking to my original plan in the hope that things will improve. My sister and mother are applying to come over here and hopefully the social circle thing will get going soon, so I'm hoping that the improvement will come sooner rather than later and that the long-term benefits will more than justify the short-term pain.

So, in answer to your original question, I don't think it is a matter of age, it's a matter of your own situation and how you feel. My situation is unique and quite different to yours, even though the feelings can be the same. There is a lot of good advice on this forum (provided your sarcasm filter is working properly!) and I would agree with other posters on this thread that 3 months is a little early to decide that Canada is not for you. My advice is to give it more time, if only because the time, effort and expense you put into getting to Canada deserves it.

And no, you are not alone.

I do hope things work out for you.

shrek1991

Came over in my late teens, moved across the country and the feelings of what could have been are still with me. But if I had not moved I doubt that I would I would have the quality of life I do now. And tell you the truth if I was back home I would just be moaning that I should have come over here. Ahh can never win.

christmasoompa

Hi there, and welcome to BE.

It would be appreciated if you could read the 'Newcomers to the Forum' sticky thread (link in my signature). It's best not to bump such old threads - if you're in doubt, you can see the date of them on the top left, this one is six months old.

Thanks.

shrek1991

My apologies.

The4BellsLondon

But what did happen to GillyD??

The4BellsLondon

ahh please ignore me - she went back !