Tears and Cold Feet
 

I have seen on here a number of people getting cold feet about moving and then wondering if they are doing the right thing (feel like that right now) my wife and I can normally get through those moments. But just had a bad weekend.
My 8 yr old daughter crying and getting very upset about leaving friends and not wanting to go and not liking it. This then upsets us and puts a very dark cloud over what we are doing. Very heartbreaking watching a child crying for hours on end and nothing you can say or do brings them out of it. We have now left our jobs, move out of house next week and arrive in Oakville in 4 wks. I know we have to go but its very very difficult at the mo. We do have a plan B if all goes wrong. Very difficult to feel positive today. Anyone going through the same thing.:(

Re: Tears and Cold Feet
 

Not in that position yet but just wanted to say stay positive, good luck with the move. Kids adapt easier than adults are able to, so fingers crossed your daughter will get over this upset stage and start to make new friends as soon as she gets to Canada.

Very best wishes to all your family :wub:

Re: Tears and Cold Feet
 

Hi there!

We make our final move to Brampton (not that far from where you are going!) on the 13th September. I would say it is only natural to feel that 'what the hell are we doing' and maybe you need to remind yourselves why you are....as for your daughter what getting her to check out the all the fun stuff she will be able to do when she get to Canada?

Good luck.

Re: Tears and Cold Feet
 

I think most people from what i have read and the friends i talk to that are there already go through this,

Our 8 year old said the other day he doesn't want to go and its going to get worse im sure as he gets older, then this morning he asked if he can have a space bedroom in Canada ;)

I think you have to decide the reasons you are going and focus on them,

I was holding our 1 year old baby grandaughter yesterday as she slept at her birthday party, my OH asked me if i still want to go:(

Part of me doesn't i will leave so much hear but the other part of me wants some adventure and to try this before i am too old, OH commutes to London every day thats nearly 4 hours of his life gone everyday, 4 hours he looses with us, our youngest ( others are at uni and will stay here for now ) has no freedom, even though we live in a lovely village and are in a fab house with lots of friends.

There is so much more to life and life is short, focus on what you think is best for her and stick to it, she is probably feeling your doubts :unsure:

Children don't like change and this is a huge change, wish you all the best :thumbsup:



What made you decide to go in the first place ?????

Re: Tears and Cold Feet
 

Hi,

Completely know how you are feeling. Sounds as though your weekend was a bit like my past two weeks.
For me, its become so real since receiving our PPR, and thats what has made me question what we are doing, although I know deep down that we have to do this, we have to focus on the future and why we want to go. I for one cannot live with the question of 'what if' if we dont go.

We do have a daughter but she is only two and a half so our problems are not based on her feelings as she is not aware of course what is happening.
Regardless of who the issues are based upon, the feeling of 'what are we doing' and 'are we doing the right thing' bear the same depth, and cause the same distress.
So, as you may have gathered, I have not been feeling positive at all this past couple of weeks, its only when I make myself think about the reasons that I start to feel a little better about it.

Kids do adjust well the majority of times, but unfortunately, they dont adjust to new situations until they are actually in them, I think the thought of leaving friends behind is the worst part of this for her, once she is in her new surroundings I think she will adjust just fine.

Best of luck.
Jo

Re: Tears and Cold Feet
 

Hi,

just wanted to say that the fact that your 8 year old daughter does not want to move is a great sign:

It means she feels secure and happy where she is now.

And she does not want to change that.

It's honorable on your part to reconsider your decision when faced with her grief, but then again: you are the adults, and the ones who carry responsibility for the whole family. Meaning: it's your decision.

And as the others said: children usually adapt quickly. I think it's great that she shares her feelings with you, and that you listen: just be sure to be open to her during the whole process. (which means the pre-move, the move, and the one to two years post move...)

Re: Tears and Cold Feet
 

Hi Jo

Im headed out to Barrie, where exactly are you going and when if you dont me asking.
I've been backwards and forwards over the last year for weeks at a time, am getting married to a Canadian so when im there i only ever get to mix with his friends and family would be nice to meet some people for myself.
I made friends with 1 english lady who is 67 and has been there 30 years (shes still homesick) !!

JO

x

Re: Tears and Cold Feet
 

I miss my grandchildren sooooooooooooooo much. Reading the you post abot holding your grandchild has made me cry.

Re: Tears and Cold Feet
 

Im sorry Miss Clinique ( my fav brand by the way )

I will leave 2 grandchildren and 3 of our children, although they will be out whenever they can afford it ( or we can of course )

It really does pull at the heart strings i know, hope you get to see yours again soon xx

Re: Tears and Cold Feet
 

No need to apologise I am just feeling a little down at the mo. My daughter & grandson visited a couple of weeks ago, and I really miss them, now they have gone home. I am going back to spend 2 weeks with them all in October so I am really loking forward to that. - they call me Nanny Canada now!!

The up side is that when they visit, you get them for a week or 2 which is quality time, when in the UK I only saw them for the odd day here and there.

Re: Tears and Cold Feet
 

Thanks all of you for your advice. All seems a bit better today. Plays havoc with your emotions this moving business.:)

Re: Tears and Cold Feet
 

Completely understand how you feel. I am a 'nervous wreck'. I don't know why because this is not the first time I am immigrating.

Re: Tears and Cold Feet
 

Reading your stories, I have realised how lucky I am that my kids are desperate to go. They are 13 and 11 and are old enough to know what they are leaving behind but they are also aware of what they will be gaining when we move.

I don't for one minute think that once we land it will be without difficulty. We were discussing starting new schools again and not knowing anyone and being the ones that have the 'wierd' accent!!! (by wierd, I mean cool). They both think that in the long run it'll be worth it and they pointed out that we will all be starting again, not knowing any one.

I have moments of sheer terror and moments of pure excitement. It's such a rollercoster and we haven't even sent our forms in yet!!!

Good luck to you all. What about letting her choose how to decorate her new room and showing her pictures of the splash parks over there?

Cyber hugs

Re: Tears and Cold Feet
 

Sounds simplistic, but close yor eyes and jump. It's supposed to be an adventure after all. It worked for us.

Re: Tears and Cold Feet
 

Not quite the same thing, but my nine year old is changing schools this september. There were tears and recriminations at first.

It's funny how things changed oce we ordered the uniform, and she couldn't wait to try it on. Now she's really excited about going.

We changed schools for her good. We spent very little time trying to convince her, just acted normally. We made sure she played with her girlfriends this summer and that she has their numbers.

Now she's eager for a change.