Statham2016

Been here nearly 9 months. Yes not that long. But feels long when not feeling settled. Gave up everything anyone needs in life back home to try 'the dream'. Sought after career, modest home in nice enough area, financial security, good work / life balance etc. Currently pursuing the same here in Ontario granted under a more blue sky at times. But without established friendships, family support. So will here ever feel like home? Does that niggling feeling of being unconnected ever go away? Do I have the wrong attitude and am negative and looking back , comparing, being nostalgic? Or do I have early insight to what others can realise years down the line, scratch the surface and its the same bull#hit in life, just a different backdrop

not2old

give it at least 2 years

Some folks settle in quicker than others. Some in fact still go on about the settling in, adjustments after being in Canada after 5 years, even longer.

It took me 2 years. I've been here just on 50 years

Good luck with it, spring is in the air

Oink

No (imo), as the novelty of adjusting to your new situation wears off and the tedium of life sets in, the alienation and isolation just gets worse. What makes it even more acute is the sense that you are missing out on the events that mark and provide meaning to our familial and social existence.

Statham2016

I agree. I had no novelty, well maybe in the first holiday many years ago to the rockies. But that was exactly what it was. A holiday in the rockies. Not getting up at 5am mon-fri to sit in a disgustingly over populated highway in the gta. Coming back to pay overpriced rent and eat a dinner with overpriced food.. But my wife loves it here so thats all that matters. Sorry. One of those days

Stinkypup

You are very naughty boy and are going to get your knees slapped if you carry on with this shenanigans

Mr Oink tends to often drift down this road-He lives in Vancouver- he tells everyone he hates it, Canada blah blah- he doesnt, he actually loves the place and wouldnt move anywhere else. He says that it is a terribly unsociable place and then doesn't even go to the recent meetup .....

HGerchikov

I love it here, but I wouldn't if I had to get up at 5am to sit on a congested highway.

JamesM

I'd say 9 months is enough to evaluate whether it's enough for you.

Most people make their decision based on short recce's or knowing nothing about the place at all.

I don't agree with the assertion on here that you need to give it several years. If after 9 months you are not happy then why will you be happy in another 9.

The reality was nothing in your life in England was broken so coming here has not fixed anything.

Ask yourself what you can do differently on a day to day basis to try and improve what you lack and if there is nothing obvious then head back.

wonderwoman

Wise words! I like to think of it, the same but different....the whole same shit, shinier bucket syndrome.

Oink

That's an unfair characterization of my position. Just because I try and make the best of my situation doesn't mean I don't feel all the things I stated above and it it does't mean I'm disingenuous, and there are lots of places I'd rather live, but given the combination of my work situation and HID's nice jubblies I'll be here for a bit longer.

Stinkypup

You seemingly manage to do quite a good job there (the first bolded comment not the second!)



Poor girl

Jerseygirl

Or as we usually say...same sh*t...different bucket.

I knew after a couple of months I would never settle in the US. Thought I'd give it a year or too. Bad decision...suddenly 18 years had flown by and we are stuck this side of the pond because of family. On the other hand...now we are in Toronto I feel much more settled..

Statham2016

Nothing was broken in our life back home apart from my wifes burning desire to live here as it is "just better" "better for the kids". Im not saying CA isnt a nice place with many positives.. its just not my home

Jerseygirl

Nothing was wrong with our UK life...in fact we had a very good life. When people asked me what I missed about the UK...I used to say 'my life'.

In fairness we had a good life in the US too...but it wasn't the life I wanted.

JamesM

The kids assertion is vastly over rated.

People never logically think that one through properly.

You have my sympathy with this conundrum.

Statham2016

Nail on the head. I too have used those exact words. Life is what you make it yes. And yes we could ultimatley have a better situation than we are in now i.e. buy instead of renting a house, better jobs etc. But in hindsight (or foresight as may be the case) I wish we had put as much effort into living our life to the full back home with all the means we had, instead of procrastinating and 'dreaming' of a better one. I knew this before we left. I know this even more so now.