Step children
#46
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 12,830
Re: Step children
Sole custody doesn't give you the right to remove the child from the UK though, that is the problem, and CIC require evidence that you have consent.
The OP was married, she lives in the UK and will need to get consent either from the child's father or else from the court to bring the child to Canada. She has no option, unfortunately.
The OP was married, she lives in the UK and will need to get consent either from the child's father or else from the court to bring the child to Canada. She has no option, unfortunately.
#48
Re: Step children
The 1989 Children act got rid of custody did it not. The court only making
Residence Order, Contact Order, Specific issue Order or Prohibition Order when asked to do so?
My OH had to get three of these, then get permission to remove from the jurisdiction. She was told if she did not know the whereabouts of the father she had to place an ad in the legal section of the paper in the area he was last known to live.
Not sure if this is relevant or adds to the confusion
http://www.thomasmore.co.uk/ImageLib...Relocation.pdf
Residence Order, Contact Order, Specific issue Order or Prohibition Order when asked to do so?
My OH had to get three of these, then get permission to remove from the jurisdiction. She was told if she did not know the whereabouts of the father she had to place an ad in the legal section of the paper in the area he was last known to live.
Not sure if this is relevant or adds to the confusion
http://www.thomasmore.co.uk/ImageLib...Relocation.pdf
#49
Re: Step children
I wouldn't fret if I were you.
Just take all the evidence you do have to Supreme court, you can see a duty councel for free 'drop in' (lawyers) another good thing about Canada. I did this and they even printed off the paperwork filling it out with me there on computer to save me filling it out so all I had to do was file it, I got sole custody and 'sole guardianship' the equivelent of parental rights, so ex had no say what so ever on son of mine due to his lack of responsibility. The court was not impressed where he was concerned. This was back in 2009.
The courts will always look to the best interests of the child, the fact your new man has been more of a Father to him than his real Father will go in yours and your sons favour, hence why I would not fret on this at all.
I didn't marry my ex either (thank goodness), he failed to step up to his responsibilities so he lost that right I should think. Canada is not the UK and I find here more supportive in that way to be honest where courts are concerned. I had my ex served, he ignored it, 6 months later I got granted sole custody and sole guardianship, it was sent to the UK when I had him served, I stood in front of the judge (just he and I and the court person acting on the judges instruction), it was all good. If you have sole custody you have the ultimate decisions with regard to your child anyway.
Just take all the evidence you do have to Supreme court, you can see a duty councel for free 'drop in' (lawyers) another good thing about Canada. I did this and they even printed off the paperwork filling it out with me there on computer to save me filling it out so all I had to do was file it, I got sole custody and 'sole guardianship' the equivelent of parental rights, so ex had no say what so ever on son of mine due to his lack of responsibility. The court was not impressed where he was concerned. This was back in 2009.
The courts will always look to the best interests of the child, the fact your new man has been more of a Father to him than his real Father will go in yours and your sons favour, hence why I would not fret on this at all.
I didn't marry my ex either (thank goodness), he failed to step up to his responsibilities so he lost that right I should think. Canada is not the UK and I find here more supportive in that way to be honest where courts are concerned. I had my ex served, he ignored it, 6 months later I got granted sole custody and sole guardianship, it was sent to the UK when I had him served, I stood in front of the judge (just he and I and the court person acting on the judges instruction), it was all good. If you have sole custody you have the ultimate decisions with regard to your child anyway.
#50
Banned
Joined: Aug 2013
Location: St Catherines, Ontario
Posts: 47
Re: Step children
Oh sorry, I missed that part. Not so easy I don't think in that case.
#51
Banned
Joined: Aug 2013
Location: St Catherines, Ontario
Posts: 47
Re: Step children
Well there you go ... Piff Poff had something to add to my comment.. And she may well be correct with what "the new law is" as I moved here before she did and my experience may certainly be out of date ..
However I can't believe the laws on child custody or the removal of a child from the country of their birth have relaxed since my experience ... in fact I would suspect the laws and restrictions would have become more stringent.... However the point of her comment that I think is most telling is that she says she wasn't married to the 'biological idiot'.
I suspect that her particular circumstances may have had an influence on her situation and the ease in which she removed her daughter 'without permission' from the UK..
But in my opinion I would still check it out with some legal advice.... I think it will serve you well in the long term, especially if you ever have to explain your actions to your child, of what you did and why you did it, at some later date.
it's not an impossible hurdle to remove children from the UK...as you can tell from the fact that lots of us have already made 'the leap'
Good luck
However I can't believe the laws on child custody or the removal of a child from the country of their birth have relaxed since my experience ... in fact I would suspect the laws and restrictions would have become more stringent.... However the point of her comment that I think is most telling is that she says she wasn't married to the 'biological idiot'.
I suspect that her particular circumstances may have had an influence on her situation and the ease in which she removed her daughter 'without permission' from the UK..
But in my opinion I would still check it out with some legal advice.... I think it will serve you well in the long term, especially if you ever have to explain your actions to your child, of what you did and why you did it, at some later date.
it's not an impossible hurdle to remove children from the UK...as you can tell from the fact that lots of us have already made 'the leap'
Good luck
The only wary thing I'd say on the OPs situation is if that ex of hers decides to make it hard for her out of spite and deny what she wants.
My ex tried to do a dirty thing when I returned to the UK to have him forced to take responsibility and tried lying to the court making up some crazy story about how son was born in UK and I got a plane to Canada and denied him, then tried to get a prohibited steps order to stop me returning to Canada after having him forced, not sure what made him think he could do that when son is a citizen here and me a permanent resident? He bought a bigger house and rented out his other one while avoiding his responsibilities, which still disgusts me now, not the sign of a caring Father at all, and never mind the evidence to show I already lived here 2 yrs before son was born and he has a Canadian birth certificate. All he did was cause the courts to not believe anything he said I am sure, what a prat. He got no where. They couldn't give him anything, he blamed me for that too of course, but then he always did blame anyone but himself for his misfortunes so nothing new there.
Last edited by Supermum1; Sep 14th 2013 at 6:10 am.
#52
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 22
Re: Step children
I didn't marry the idiot either, wasn't about to marry someone who had never been faithful all his life, finding out he had not one but two others on the go was bad enough to find out. My child was born in Canada and ex partner never wanted to come here so I have that to be thankful for now at least.
The only wary thing I'd say on the OPs situation is if that ex of hers decides to make it hard for her out of spite and deny what she wants.
My ex tried to do a dirty thing when I returned to the UK to have him forced to take responsibility and tried lying to the court making up some crazy story about how son was born in UK and I got a plane to Canada and denied him, then tried to get a prohibited steps order to stop me returning to Canada after having him forced, not sure what made him think he could do that when son is a citizen here and me a permanent resident? He bought a bigger house and rented out his other one while avoiding his responsibilities, which still disgusts me now, not the sign of a caring Father at all, and never mind the evidence to show I already lived here 2 yrs before son was born and he has a Canadian birth certificate. All he did was cause the courts to not believe anything he said I am sure, what a prat. He got no where. They couldn't give him anything, he blamed me for that too of course, but then he always did blame anyone but himself for his misfortunes so nothing new there.
The only wary thing I'd say on the OPs situation is if that ex of hers decides to make it hard for her out of spite and deny what she wants.
My ex tried to do a dirty thing when I returned to the UK to have him forced to take responsibility and tried lying to the court making up some crazy story about how son was born in UK and I got a plane to Canada and denied him, then tried to get a prohibited steps order to stop me returning to Canada after having him forced, not sure what made him think he could do that when son is a citizen here and me a permanent resident? He bought a bigger house and rented out his other one while avoiding his responsibilities, which still disgusts me now, not the sign of a caring Father at all, and never mind the evidence to show I already lived here 2 yrs before son was born and he has a Canadian birth certificate. All he did was cause the courts to not believe anything he said I am sure, what a prat. He got no where. They couldn't give him anything, he blamed me for that too of course, but then he always did blame anyone but himself for his misfortunes so nothing new there.
#53
Re: Step children
Surely you cold use a civilian location service to find him anywhere in the world, unless he has completely gone off the grid.
#54
Banned
Joined: Aug 2013
Location: St Catherines, Ontario
Posts: 47
Re: Step children
Difficult ex's eh? Who needs them! My ex thankfully has kept away shirking all responsibilities like your ex, but now I need him he is nowhere to be found! Anyway you sound like a winner all round, you have the child and a great life in Canada and he's all bitter and twisted!
The legal side on both sides of the pond said to me, if he had really cared about his son he'd have been in his life and done the right thing long before now. That pretty much hits the nail on the head.
He could track us down easily if he wanted to, but as they said here, the chances of him bothering was pretty slim and now that's a good thing as at least we can get on with our life (in peace). I guess he didn't like the idea of the fact he'd be on supervised access if he did come here being he liked to think he could control me and son all of a sudden. He gets away with his lies of course, to the women who don't know him any better, and his family, but then he must have got his ways from somewhere, they all seem to think he's perfect and I've never met them thank goodness (no wonder he's turned out as he has). He managed to get them to block me while I was pregnant for doing the right thing and informing them since he didn't want to. There's more but I think you get the gist already.
I hope in your case he doesn't magically spring up to make it hard for you out of spite, so you can then gain what you desire to have a nice life in Canada with your new partner and your child. I have to say I like how they protect children in Canada far better than they do in the UK, there they'd have had him on supervised access for a month max as they don't have the funds? Here I'd happily had paid a small fee a year to ensure it as long as required. I see too many problems in the UK with selfish absent parents being vindictive and selfish (affecting only the child in the process esp when a child has been abused by them already and a child doesn't want to see them but is almost forced to do so legally speaking, which is totally wrong and unfair). I believe we are lucky in our case that son has never known his Dad to be affected, if he wants to track him down at age 18 he can but chances of him brainwashing him and lying about me then to his advantage is not likely to work. He said he wanted a child, just not mine and liked to label me an open cheque book (before he was even forced to pay toward son), and that I planned this out all along. Not sure how I planned for him to cheat on me tbh with me finding him out causing us to break up as a result and for him to turn so nasty after it. Truth is the real planner was him, he planned to pin me down in UK gain control over son and manipulate him to his advantage likely showing him look what I have and Mummy has nothing (was true after he drained my savings since I solely had to raise my child from scratch with no support from him which put us in hardship initially, back on my feet again now though). Come live with me etc etc I can imagine he would have said to my son as he got older, and then he'd have got his son and his woman of his choice most likely since he wanted a child, just not mine (not 'with me' is more likely what he meant). Took me a while to work this out, as it did when it was pointed out to me that it was control he wanted not love of his son.
Last edited by Supermum1; Sep 14th 2013 at 6:50 am.
#55
Just Joined
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Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 22
Re: Step children
I've contacted his best friend and parents they all claim not to know where he is which is bull! He is the only child and was very close to his mother so I can't believe for a second she is unaware of his location. He doesn't want to be found! I doubt he would sign an agreement document so it's just easier for me to get a court order without having him around. I have tried all I can to track him down in the past so am happy to let a solicitor try now. If no luck (which there won't be) then the court will give me permission. I've arranged a stake out of his parents house with my best friend for next weekend just in case he is living there though!!
#56
Banned
Joined: Aug 2013
Location: St Catherines, Ontario
Posts: 47
Re: Step children
I've contacted his best friend and parents they all claim not to know where he is which is bull! He is the only child and was very close to his mother so I can't believe for a second she is unaware of his location. He doesn't want to be found! I doubt he would sign an agreement document so it's just easier for me to get a court order without having him around. I have tried all I can to track him down in the past so am happy to let a solicitor try now. If no luck (which there won't be) then the court will give me permission. I've arranged a stake out of his parents house with my best friend for next weekend just in case he is living there though!!
Makes me sick how they act so selfishly and as cowards one minute and the next creep round your parents to try and gain what they want by playing emotional games on them, mine did that by the way, stalked my address in the UK after I left already, it was my Dad's flat I rented for 8 months, I warned them of his people using ways and how once he gains what he want (not that he would as my parents don't control me of course), he'd spit them out again as he did everyone else he's walked over to date including his ex best friend, and me of course. My Mum soon put him in his place when she realised that (had to point out the fact he didn't care to meet or know them the 3 yrs we were together so it's funny how he suddenly did now AFTER being forced to take responsibility much as he disliked that), they didn't block him though with email as his family did me, but he's not contacted them again anyway (or so they say) but it doesn't make me trust my parents 100% after that I tell you, they were angry for what he put us through, helped son and I out initally from their pension, and then almost fall for his games (or did) I was livid he turned up with his younger sister holding his hand (the coward) and sat at my parents house, what a creep of a people user, seriously.
Last edited by Supermum1; Sep 14th 2013 at 7:01 am.
#57
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2013
Posts: 22
Re: Step children
Thank you! I will become excited about the move once this hurdle is overcome.
#59
Feeling the love!....
Joined: Sep 2010
Location: Bowmanville ON, after 3yrs of finally getting PR (Nov15)
Posts: 31
Re: Step children
It took me 2yrs of hard struggle in the courts to get permission for my 2 children from their dad & over 10k in legal fees....but the stress & empty purse was worth it in the end, even the few extra grey hairs....good luck with everything though & keep us updated
#60
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 12,830
Re: Step children
I have tried all I can to track him down in the past so am happy to let a solicitor try now. If no luck (which there won't be) then the court will give me permission. I've arranged a stake out of his parents house with my best friend for next weekend just in case he is living there though!!
It may not be as straightforward as you seem to believe.