Aviator

I don't believe custody even exists in the UK anymore under the Children Act.

Siouxie

You are quite correct, it doesn't.

Almost Canadian

It did. That was why I made the statement that she needed to define full custody to ensure that we were both on the same page. From what she says she has nothing as there is no order.

Almost Canadian

The OP is in the UK so what happens in Canada is irrelevant.

Supermum1

Oh sorry, I missed that part. Not so easy I don't think in that case.

Supermum1

I didn't marry the idiot either, wasn't about to marry someone who had never been faithful all his life, finding out he had not one but two others on the go was bad enough to find out. My child was born in Canada and ex partner never wanted to come here so I have that to be thankful for now at least.

The only wary thing I'd say on the OPs situation is if that ex of hers decides to make it hard for her out of spite and deny what she wants.
My ex tried to do a dirty thing when I returned to the UK to have him forced to take responsibility and tried lying to the court making up some crazy story about how son was born in UK and I got a plane to Canada and denied him, then tried to get a prohibited steps order to stop me returning to Canada after having him forced, not sure what made him think he could do that when son is a citizen here and me a permanent resident? He bought a bigger house and rented out his other one while avoiding his responsibilities, which still disgusts me now, not the sign of a caring Father at all, and never mind the evidence to show I already lived here 2 yrs before son was born and he has a Canadian birth certificate. All he did was cause the courts to not believe anything he said I am sure, what a prat. He got no where. They couldn't give him anything, he blamed me for that too of course, but then he always did blame anyone but himself for his misfortunes so nothing new there.

Jaamber

Difficult ex's eh? Who needs them! My ex thankfully has kept away shirking all responsibilities like your ex, but now I need him he is nowhere to be found! Anyway you sound like a winner all round, you have the child and a great life in Canada and he's all bitter and twisted!

Oink

Surely you cold use a civilian location service to find him anywhere in the world, unless he has completely gone off the grid.

Supermum1

Not sure about the bitter and twisted part, he's gained more women and is pretty selfish so I am sure he's worked it out to his advantage, he didn't want son born, then avoided his responsibilities, then acted like he wanted to be in his life (after he was forced to pay toward him 2 yrs too late and still owes backpayments which I no longer care about as I'm just happy to be well rid and at least I got him paying monthly now whether he liked it or not, my son comes first not him, ha. And as I told him when he wanted me to abort, he was my mistake not my son. Seriously, he played every dirty game and trick in the book, but being as predictable as he was (I knew him too well fortunately as did his EX best friend - ex-Engineering officer in RAF), I kind of predicted he'd intend to gain something in return if he had to fork out for anything being he hated the idea of it, and went from portraying he'd pay after a dna test though admitted son was his before being born, to deciding not to pay up after that until forced to do so, to then assuming it was done and dusted and wanted shared responsibility (though he couldn't have it as Supreme court stated my order stands not just in Canada but in the UK too) and that he had to apply for access as I was well advised by them not to give him any until he applied, he chose to lie to the court saying I denied him of course, but I sent all the evidence along with my custody order to show it was the opposite (he can't win with lies when there's evidence to prove otherwise). I was quite relieved when I heard the lawyers in UK and Canada both say don't respond to him anymore as I am not obligated to do so and he's manipulative and selective with email evidence anyway (he used my angry responses to his nasty emails to try and portray I was a spiteful nasty person when the opposite is more accurate), thankfully the lawyers and courts were not so stupid to not see it (worrying at the time though I have to say). I did have the last laugh after he smugly emailed me to say I don't have to show up in court it will go ahead anyway (I was back in Canada and they already told me before hand he'd not get anything), funny how he creeped a bit and pretended to care when he found out I was back here, asking how me and son was? As if he had ever cared about that. I told him we were fine and blasted him one last time (put him in his place and told him none of us was so stupid see what he was up to), and that I was taking the lawyers advice and not responding to him any more, and then I changed my email address to ensure it

The legal side on both sides of the pond said to me, if he had really cared about his son he'd have been in his life and done the right thing long before now. That pretty much hits the nail on the head.

He could track us down easily if he wanted to, but as they said here, the chances of him bothering was pretty slim and now that's a good thing as at least we can get on with our life (in peace). I guess he didn't like the idea of the fact he'd be on supervised access if he did come here being he liked to think he could control me and son all of a sudden. He gets away with his lies of course, to the women who don't know him any better, and his family, but then he must have got his ways from somewhere, they all seem to think he's perfect and I've never met them thank goodness (no wonder he's turned out as he has). He managed to get them to block me while I was pregnant for doing the right thing and informing them since he didn't want to. There's more but I think you get the gist already.

I hope in your case he doesn't magically spring up to make it hard for you out of spite, so you can then gain what you desire to have a nice life in Canada with your new partner and your child. I have to say I like how they protect children in Canada far better than they do in the UK, there they'd have had him on supervised access for a month max as they don't have the funds? Here I'd happily had paid a small fee a year to ensure it as long as required. I see too many problems in the UK with selfish absent parents being vindictive and selfish (affecting only the child in the process esp when a child has been abused by them already and a child doesn't want to see them but is almost forced to do so legally speaking, which is totally wrong and unfair). I believe we are lucky in our case that son has never known his Dad to be affected, if he wants to track him down at age 18 he can but chances of him brainwashing him and lying about me then to his advantage is not likely to work. He said he wanted a child, just not mine and liked to label me an open cheque book (before he was even forced to pay toward son), and that I planned this out all along. Not sure how I planned for him to cheat on me tbh with me finding him out causing us to break up as a result and for him to turn so nasty after it. Truth is the real planner was him, he planned to pin me down in UK gain control over son and manipulate him to his advantage likely showing him look what I have and Mummy has nothing (was true after he drained my savings since I solely had to raise my child from scratch with no support from him which put us in hardship initially, back on my feet again now though). Come live with me etc etc I can imagine he would have said to my son as he got older, and then he'd have got his son and his woman of his choice most likely since he wanted a child, just not mine (not 'with me' is more likely what he meant). Took me a while to work this out, as it did when it was pointed out to me that it was control he wanted not love of his son.

Jaamber

I've contacted his best friend and parents they all claim not to know where he is which is bull! He is the only child and was very close to his mother so I can't believe for a second she is unaware of his location. He doesn't want to be found! I doubt he would sign an agreement document so it's just easier for me to get a court order without having him around. I have tried all I can to track him down in the past so am happy to let a solicitor try now. If no luck (which there won't be) then the court will give me permission. I've arranged a stake out of his parents house with my best friend for next weekend just in case he is living there though!!

Supermum1

Be grateful they are saying that, (he's as irresponsible as my ex by the sounds of it) it should make it easier for you in that case, use that evidence of theirs against him (don't waste your time and energy hunting him down), apply for the order instead, and 'welcome to Canada'

Makes me sick how they act so selfishly and as cowards one minute and the next creep round your parents to try and gain what they want by playing emotional games on them, mine did that by the way, stalked my address in the UK after I left already, it was my Dad's flat I rented for 8 months, I warned them of his people using ways and how once he gains what he want (not that he would as my parents don't control me of course), he'd spit them out again as he did everyone else he's walked over to date including his ex best friend, and me of course. My Mum soon put him in his place when she realised that (had to point out the fact he didn't care to meet or know them the 3 yrs we were together so it's funny how he suddenly did now AFTER being forced to take responsibility much as he disliked that), they didn't block him though with email as his family did me, but he's not contacted them again anyway (or so they say) but it doesn't make me trust my parents 100% after that I tell you, they were angry for what he put us through, helped son and I out initally from their pension, and then almost fall for his games (or did) I was livid he turned up with his younger sister holding his hand (the coward) and sat at my parents house, what a creep of a people user, seriously.

Jaamber

Thank you! I will become excited about the move once this hurdle is overcome.

Supermum1

It shouldn't take much of a hurdle going by all you've fed back so try not to worry

Sammie4

It took me 2yrs of hard struggle in the courts to get permission for my 2 children from their dad & over 10k in legal fees....but the stress & empty purse was worth it in the end, even the few extra grey hairs....good luck with everything though & keep us updated

Aviator

At least you have confidence. From my experience it is anything but easy.

You don't know that the court will give you permission, you hope they will. You have to demonstrate to the court that you have made every effort to do so, not just stand up in court and say you did. Stalking his relatives may not do it, unless perhaps you hire a PI and get them to stand up in court and attest to this.

It may not be as straightforward as you seem to believe.