MillieF

AX It's horrible that you are enduring this, at what should be just a joyous and happy, if knackering time. It's evident that everyone on here sends you and your growing family every best wish for a speedy recovery, and a return to the normal new baby chaos.

It was an unfortunate set of circumstances of the grimmest of varieties that is sending us to Canada. A lightbulb moment of 'if I'm on my own with a child, where would It be best for us to live', along with a, previously unvoiced, yearning from my OH to 'go home' - a kneejerk reaction that hasn't changed. If neither one of a couple is at 'home' at a time of crisis the stress levels must go nuclear, and the desire to return to familiarity must be overwhelming. Thank heavens your wife has her family around.

Clematis

Glad Mrs AX is on the mend, yours is a cautionary tale, things can change quickly...

Tangram

Glad to hear she is on the mend AX.

Atlantic Xpat

Thanks for all the thoughts and best wishes. She came home from hospital yesterday which is a major milestone. Now the trick is to stop her trying to do too much!

A further point of learning for the potential immigrant from our experience: Try to make sure your extended health benefits (usually provided through your employer) have a good drug plan. I collected $700+ worth of meds for her yesterday and only paid $34.99. My drug plan picked up the rest.

MarylandNed

Obviously glad to hear that AX's wife is doing better.

I think that leaving one's friends and family behind is one of the things that immigrants think long and hard about anyway. It's probably the biggest factor for most immigrants. However, I suspect most think in terms of missing their friends/family and not necessarily in terms of them being there to provide support when something goes horribly wrong.

My wife and I moved to Canada without kids. After having 2 kids born there (14 months apart), things changed pretty dramatically for us. My wife didn't work as much because she didn't want to put the kids in daycare. So it doesn't necessarily require something as serious as a major health problem to cause issues. Any major lifestyle change (e.g. having kids, losing a job, etc.) can suddenly make you feel vulnerable and alone.

Tuppence

What a nightmare AX. Glad to hear things are improving, best wishes to you all.

We have been very lucky recently with our support structure. Been in Ontario only 18 months, but have found friends that we can really count on. That is a necessity right now as I busted my leg on our Whistler ski-trip and am mostly house bound - no driving, minimal hobbling on crutches, husband with awkward work hours. Luckily I can work from home (again, this kind of thing could screw some people if you couldn't), but our friends rallied and 3 days a week they pick up our 3 year old from daycare and go out of their way to deliver her home to me.

Hubby's mum offered to come over from the UK to help, but it's a driver a need (not someone extra to look after )

Atlantic Xpat

Ouch! Sorry to hear about that hope that your leg heals quickly. Agree completely about the working from home thing. I'm fortunate that I was a) able to work from home or the hospital (via blackberry and wireless dongle on my laptop) and b) my boss/employer has been very understanding.

iaink

This thread badly needs pictures of cute newborn babies to lighten the tone

Souvy

I've only just seen this thread.

I sincerely hope all is well now. I have no idea what happened to your missus (post-operative infection?) but I've been through this myself. The bint developed an infection shortly after being discharged after a hysterectomy. It came on incredibly quickly and rapidly became incredibly nasty. She started packing a bag as soon as she felt it coming on (she'd been warned of the possibility and knew what the signs were). By the time we got to to the hospital, she was almost a stretcher-case. I've never seen anything so horribly distressing. I was terrified.

It's good that you have an understanding boss. My boss was very understanding indeed. The office essentially looked the other way until I was able to function properly again, which was a couple of weeks.

Best wishes to you and yours.

mandymoochops

Yes me too - other than to mirror everyone elses best wishes there's not a lot more I can add. Mucgh love to you all and i'm sure your wife was probably just as worried about you guys as you were her IYKWIM.


I do however totally agree that being married into a Canadian family helps somewhat but I like you do think sometimes - What If? Not that you should think that but you do. You can't be an ostrich about something that dramatic and lifechanging. Prepare and plan.

Once again AX much much love x

Novocastrian

Ouch. Sorry to hear that Tuppence. Speedy recovery.

xxdb

Sincerely hope everything gets better for you mate.

Following up on the grass is greener syndrome:
Yeah I agree with whatever poster said "figure out what's wrong with yourself" to a large extent. That said, you might not be able to fix it where you are and moving might in fact be the right thing to do and even so you might not end up being satisfied.

The problem is that yeah it's true that "People in X country do things like A,B,C that annoy me and they don't do those things in Y country the same way and so Y country is 'better'".

The problem arises because you find that the people in Y country do D,E,F that annoy you but don't do the annoying A,B,C in X country that annoyed you previously.

In reality there is no utopia as others have pointed out.

What I can't get my head around though are those who do think the Y country is a utopia.

Maybe I'm just a whingeing pom as the aussies say.

Any case, though there's some things the Canuckleheads do that burst my box, the things that Glaswegians do that burst my box though different, are WORSE and therefore I can tolerate the irritation of the Canuck variety because at least I have a job.

acer rose

Glad to hear that your wife is on the road to recovery.

Congrats on the new baby.

julie2

That's great news to hear that your wife is back home now and your family is all back together. Best wishes with her continued recovery.

Skimom

Good to hear that Mrs AX is on the mend now. Best wishes to you both and congratulations on the new baby.