So Sad
 

Hi there,

Sorry for the tittle, but I just feel so sad right now. I have been living in Nova Scotia for the past 7 months and myself and my family have settled really well. We have met some amazing people who have helped us a lot. In fact we have more friends here than we ever had back home in Glasgow Uk. The problem is my family have been visiting for the last 3 weeks and I have just said goodbye to them at the airport. I feel so sad, it was hard enough to leave them the first time so having to say goodbye again is heartbreaking.
I know all the logical things, they will be back soon, they are happy for our move etc, but I can't help feeling this pain of sadness.
I am so sorry for disturbing anyone, and I just want everyone to know I am so happy with my new life and everything that goes with it. I just miss my family so much right now. I am hoping I will be back to normal soon, but right now I just feel bad:(.
Help please, I know there are people on here who must feel the same way when their family goes home, please any advice will be gratefully received.
Thanks and sorry for depressing you all.
Julie:(

Re: So Sad
 

Even if you'd not had family visiting it's very common to feel this way. You've come out of the 'honeymoon' phase and are now faced with reality. You are now realising that you miss your friends and family from back home...in fact you are probably missing your day to day life in the UK.

Re: So Sad
 

You have to go through many "firsts" as an expat and some are harder than others, family leaving after a visit is one of the hardest first's. After each visit from relatives it will get better, each one will be easier. My advice is to get back to your "normal" routine as quickly as possible and try not to dwell on things. I promise as each visit comes and goes you will find yourself dealing with it better. Hang in there and know that what you are feeling is completely normal and that you are not alone, we've all felt like that.

Re: So Sad
 

You're right to feel sad, it's awful being far away from family and loved ones (mostly!). But you seem to like Canada and the move and everything. I don't agree with the 1st reply, I think you can miss people and individual things without missing the whole deal of life in the UK. I miss roast lamb and church bells, but would I go back? Would I heck:eek:

I hope you can stick with it for a few days, I'm sure you'll start to feel better.

Best wishes
C x

Re: So Sad
 

Don't put words in her mouth, she has already said that she loves her new life in Canada.

Seeing loved ones off at an airport is one of the worst things that people abroad go through. I do my blubbing the night before to try and prepare myself for the dreaded airport farewell.

Re: So Sad
 

Hi Julie

I can fully understand how you you feel, I'm loving it here but my 2 kids were here for a week, and it was heart breaking taking them back to the airport.
Keep your chin up, I just hope eventually they'll decide they want to be here and not in the UK.

Rosie

Re: So Sad
 

How long was it since you moved from the UK? It is a known fact most folk go through a series of emotions when immigrating...the 'honeymoon' period is one of them. Of course you may not miss the 'whole deal' as you put it...put there are aspects of your past life in the UK you will miss for a time and being near family is one of them.

Re: So Sad
 

Hi Julie, its perfectly normal, we have been here over 4 years now and its the same evertime and I dont think it gets easier. The first 2 times we were looking at property back in the uk but a day or 2 after and you just seem to get on with it, you will feel alot better in the morning. my parents went back a couple of weeks back and we felt really sad but the day after we were back to normal.....keep your chin up it gets better......chris:thumbsup:

Re: So Sad
 

Hi Julie,

Sorry to hear you are feeling sad. I'm yet to experience what you are going through, but understand it must be so hard, I know how much your new life is meaning to you and OH and the kids and that you wouldn't change it for the world, but I suppose the family coming over for the first time is a bit of a reality check almost of your move and the new life you have.

Hope things settle down a bit in a few days and you feel better, I'm sure your folk had a wonderful visit and they will be back again soon:thumbup:

Take care

Nikki
x

Re: So Sad
 

Hi Julie

Hope you are feeling a little brighter today. I know by the timing of your post that your rellies were about to board their flight so it will be an especially difficult time for you. I also know that you are especially close to your family too so it's more difficult for you.

The Dignans have settled in really well here in New Glasgow. I have never seen such a packed social calender for someone new to any community. Always on the go and joined just about every group known to man ;) You have lots and lots of friends here and you also both have great jobs here which I know you love.

Hopefully once you get back into the swing of normality you will feel much better. I for one can honestly say that your mum, sister, Alan and baby Kirstie are a lovely bunch of people and we are glad we were able to meet up with you all quite a few times over the last 3 weeks. :wub:

There was talk of your mum coming back over in a few months so maybe it won't be long til she visits again.

Take care :wub:

Re: So Sad
 

Hi Julie,
sorry to hear that you are feeling down just remember that your family will be out to see you again.The fact you made the big move shows what you are made of and i am sure in another couple of weeks you will have settled back into that wonderful life you have got in NS:thumbup:
So chin up and look around you and think of what you and your family have achieved.
We are from old Glasgow and are coming out this Oct to Colchester and a few other parts of NS (first Reccie NS),so if you need anything from the old country let us know and we try and bring it thru.
Arty & Co

Re: So Sad
 

Something I find helps is to have an idea of when the next visit may be, whether it's them coming here again or you going there. And whether it is in a couple of months or a couple of years I find it just helps to know.

Re: So Sad
 

Hi Julie,

I totally understand how you feel, we came to Amherst in 2006 & when my Mum visited i was so over whelmed, it seamed to go by in a flash & all of a sudden she was back at the airport:ohmy:

We are really close & i have been really ill, we have emailed alot & then set up Skype. To start with we were talking every other day. We don't do this so much now but it has really helped.

I still miss her but i am dealing with it better now. I am going into the QE11 in August & she will be over then, i know this time it is going to be really hard & she isn't even over yet:o

It will get easier.

NG xxxx

Re: So Sad
 

Each time i say goodbye, i always say, "So, i'll talk to you tomorrow.."

I got my family into talking usualy twice a week, even if it's just for 5 minutes. If you're in Nova scotia, you're only 4 hours behind the UK, it's even easier to do.

My mum often remarks that she feels closer to me than she does to my sister who only lives 100 miles away from her.

Re: So Sad
 

I have the opposite problem, my mother is too frail to visit me :(.

We have been here 10 months and have our first family visitors next week. My SIL/BIL arrive on 23rd, don't know how my OH feels about it, he doesn't say much the only thing he's looking forward to at the moment is the teabags they are bringing, he hates the tea here :D

I hope your sadness is passing Julie . :thumbup:

Re: So Sad
 

Is it really the tea he dislikes or how it tastes with the local water?

The water supplies in different communities can affect the taste of teas and coffee quite dramatically.:ohmy::blink:

Re: So Sad
 

I'm not a tea drinker Steve so wouldn't know, he says its the Orange Pekoe in some teabags that he doesn't like so I spend ages looking for either black tea or english breakfast tea.

His sister and BIL are arriving next week with a suitcase of Glengettie for him, it's developed for the soft Welsh waters so it'll probably taste different anyway :rofl:

Re: So Sad
 

omg I hope you feel better soon, it must be a tough time for you right now. My thoughts are with you and I wish I could gve you a big hug right now....x

Re: So Sad
 

Big hugs Julie x x x x x:wub:

Re: So Sad
 

Sorry to hear about your sadness.... I guess it's something we just have to go through.

I am going back to the UK for the first time next week, and have been almost dreading it, without knowing why, but it's probably the same reason.

My parents have been over once but they are too frail and elderly to make that trip again, so when I come to say goodbye ..... I can hardly contemplate it to be honest (deep breath....)

When I left the first time, I was excited to be going and longing to see my hubby and boys who were already out here, so it was definitely mixed emotions. This time it'll just be goodbye. :(

Re: So Sad
 

Hi Everyone,

First of all I would like to thank everyone for their kind words and secondly I would just like to let everyone know I am feeling a lot better today.
I spoke with my mum and my sister today and they had a wonderful time and are so proud of all of us and what we have achieved in such a short period of time here.
It takes brave people to do what we have done, or what a lot of you are about to do, so don't under estimate the enormity of your journey.
Family and friends are the only things I miss and I can say that honestly. I read the newspapers and I know I have done the best thing I could for my family, so I never really feel homesick.
So once again I would like to say a big thank you to my cyber family AKA British Expats.

Julie

Re: So Sad
 

Yay - glad yr feeling happier - BE PROUD OF YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS XXXXX:thumbsup:

Re: So Sad
 

I normally cry when I hear family are coming to visit.

Re: So Sad
 

I just wanted to say I hope you feel better soon. We emigrated to Australia in 2002 and came back for family and now we are looking to Canada! :ohmy:

I don't think anyone can underestimate the depth of emotion when it comes to leaving family & friends. It can feel like a living bereavement. I just hope this soon passes and you can get back to feeling more 'settled'.

You are right, it is a huge and very courageous move and not without cost.

Lots & lots of warm, supportive thoughts sent to you and your family all the way from Manchester.

Jo-Anne

:wub:

Re: So Sad
 

ummmm .... do you cheer up when they leave? ;)

Re: So Sad
 

Same here, 'cause it's normally my MIL...!!!!:rofl::rofl:

Only joking of course - it's the only thing that's hard about our move - the saying goodbye to family when they leave. Especially as I take the line - Why would I waste vacation going back to a country I've been trying to get out of for ages!!!
So the only time we see them is when they come over here.......

Cheers

DOBBIE:thumbsup:

Re: So Sad
 

I usually really look forward to their arrival, then after three or four days can't wait for them to go home. ;):rofl::rofl:

Re: So Sad
 

:thumbsup:

I'm being a bit facetious.

But just a bit....:thumbup:

Re: So Sad
 

This is so true! I always get really upset when my mum leaves (so does mum) so when she was here in June, we booked her next flight out here (Sept/Oct). It was amazing, neither one of us cried at the airport because we knew when she would be back!
ps Hubby cried - he didn't realise she would be coming back so soon!!!!:rofl:

Re: So Sad
 

Having lived in another country from my family since I was 18, I have found that saying goodbye is dreadful no matter what the circumstances or distance. I have been happy in the various places I have lived and it just hurts everytime. Luckily we are a very close family and talk daily on the phone.

The way I deal with it, as mentioned earlier, is to have a time in mind as to when you will see each other again. Don't linger at the airport and as soon as you get home remove all the reminders of the visit (coffe cups, towels etc). Then go and do something enjoyable that you know the other person would disapprove of. :devil_smile:

Finally, sit down an plan your next fun thing (family day out, shooping spree, coffee morning) and go to bed early.

Hope this helps, best wishes and lots of hugs
Snowhugs :wub:

Re: So Sad
 

I have been watching this thread over the past couple of days and I am blown away at peoples sentiments
It is amazing that people who live rushed lives still can take the time to sit down and write a sentence of support to this girl.
Well done to all of you:thumbsup:

I moved to New Zealand 2yrs ago and am now moving to Canada and I havent had a single member of my family come to see me. It was an instant barrier of distance. I now do not speak to my sister and my mother will not come out as she reckons she couldnt cope with the journey. Shes only 62yrs old.
I was so down for a long time:unsure:

Its great dinigan that your family come and see you and you have made the right choice for your own growing family to move out of GB. Thats what it is all about isnt it Family...

Heres hoping your journey and new life in Canada brings you happiness.:thumbup:

Re: So Sad
 

hi julie
im so glad your family enjoyed the visit. i hope your spirits have lifted.
the best thing i bought since coming here was my web cam as i can see my parents every day.
my parents are here at the minute and its fab to have them. i know its going to be hard next week when they leave. i was over whelmed when i collected them at the airport and the kids ran to them there was not a dry eye in the house. i also had to say goodbye again to my OH yesterday and i found it really hard taking him to the airport as the kids were upset too. but i just think to my self if i was still in scotland i would be dropping him off at a boat rather than an airport and at least we have a fantastic life style here:thumbsup:
take care x

Re: So Sad
 

Hello Julie
So sorry to hear this. I will just let you know what happened to me and my OH recently. Eight weeks ago we visited UK - my father wasn't in the best of health and was in a nursing home (he had vascular dementia and heart failure- we didn't know how long he would survive) We visited him everyday, saw family and friends and stayed with my OH family. It was hard to leave but my Dad on the Wedfnesday had a really coherent day with us (one that I will never forget- so that day we stayed about 6 hrs or so - prob tired him out bless him!) I gave him hugs and kisses. So it was hard to return to Canada not knowing if we would see him again. On June 22nd we got the call that he had passed away peacefully - what followed was another call less than 24 hrs later to say that my OH father had died peacefully in his sleep. We hold dear to us that we saw them before they died...gave them love and hugs. Because my OH and I have been going through the same thing it has been a great source of strength...I just wanted to share my story with you. I hope I have not made you feel more depressed that is not my intention at all. Cherish the time you have with them...BUT be strong when you're not and e-mail, use Skype to ring...whatever. You WILL get through it.