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-   -   Serious about going back (https://britishexpats.com/forum/canada-56/serious-about-going-back-696169/)

taichiiqueen Dec 7th 2010 6:56 pm

Serious about going back
 
Only been here for 5 months, and now even OH is fed up.

Have tried to stick it out and realise lifestyle is better but...
12 yr old is getting depressed,at least 3 pieces of homework every night,
children don't do anything apart from extra curricular activities they never hang out,
trying to mix with locals and just get empty gestures of we will have to...,
was promised lots of support and help from OH company- it never happened I ended up doing most of it,
still waiting for my certificates to be assessed so I can get a job,
OH hasnt been warm for 2 months - he hates the cold.

BUT

do we go back to the doom and gloom of UK
rising taxes
general lethargy

ARRRGGHH!!!!!!!!!

Rock and a hard place.
Some general advise would be appreciated.We have had this down before, but it doesn't seem to get any easier.Is it worth it????:unsure:

Almost Canadian Dec 7th 2010 6:59 pm

Re: Serious about going back
 
I don`t understand what you are saying about the kids. Are you saying kids only participate in extra curricular activities and don`t hang around street corners? If so, I would think that this is what you are after isn`t it?

I always thought that English kids were way in advance of their Canadian peers, so would think that the homework issue wouldn`t be one.

I hope things get better for you soon:D

bozonightmare Dec 7th 2010 7:06 pm

Re: Serious about going back
 
Stick it out, at least till summer. Remember the reasons why you came in the first place, get out of it what you came for.

taichiiqueen Dec 7th 2010 7:07 pm

Re: Serious about going back
 
Nooo kids don't hang with each other without adult supervision, even a trip to local store, or friends houses etc.

UK is way more advanced than here, so issue isn't level but amount, and sitting till 9pm every night doing homework is not what we came here for.I have asked about and its very common. I'm a Teacher and even I see a need for a life balance.

Thanks anyway.

DandNHill Dec 7th 2010 7:07 pm

Re: Serious about going back
 
I can understand about the homework, one of my boys is 11 so nearly the same age and he doesn't get much here in the UK. We make him work for an hour every evening, whether he has homework or not which should be good practise for when we get to Canada.
Regards clubs, sounds good to me as at least they're not messing around in the street or making a nuisance of themselves in shops as a lot of them do over here!
Not sure what to say about the homesickness. I'm still all positive about our impending move to Canada but I'm sure a lot of people will agree that it takes a couple of years to really feel at home somewhere - I should know I've already lived in 3 different countries!!

Good luck. The UK is not all bad but the grass is always greener... :wink_smile:

Siouxie Dec 7th 2010 7:32 pm

Re: Serious about going back
 
How about your child joining a couple of clubs - or signing up for hockey? It would be a way of socialising more, and would give you the opportunity to meet other parents too.

http://www.cg.cfpsa.ca/cg-pc/Edmonto...LL%20GUIDE.pdf

http://www.saycc.ca/ActivityCentre.html from grade 7 to age 17 (it looks pretty good).

For you...

ST. ALBERT NEWCOMERS CLUB
St. Albert, AB Canada
Welcome Committee: Shelley (780) 419-2595
Welcome Committee: Judy (780) 459-6441

Welcome Ladies! Come and join us if you have moved to St. Albert within the past three years. Our active club provides an immediate opportunity to meet new friends, get involved in social activities and help make St. Albert feel like home. Regular dinner meetings take place on the 2nd Tuesday of every month at the Cornerstone Hall on Tache Street in a friendly and welcoming atmosphere. Sub-club activities range from cocktail/drinks evening for couples to Book Club and Mom's & Tots groups. There's something for everyone!

Go to O’Maille’s Irish Pub, 104, 398 St Albert Rd, St Albert AB 780-458-5700 and see if there are expats there.

In all honesty, I think you have to be the one to make the first move when trying to arrange to meet up with people.. rather than waiting for them to arrange a date, ask if they would be free on xyz day to come over for coffee / a party / whatever! If there is a particular friend your child has made at school, get their phone number and call the parents and ask if the friend can come over on the weekend. Find out what sports his friends play and go and watch it with him - hockey is particularly good for parental interaction!

Does your child's school have anyone you could talk to with regards to the homework? Could it be that he/she is having to finish work that should have been finished in school? The first thing to do is to ascertain what homework is required/expected and what is surplus. Go and see his teacher and explain how it is affecting him/her - they may cut it down a little.

It's early days.. give yourself time...

If you think it's cold now, wait until winter is here :ohmy:

:)

iaink Dec 7th 2010 7:44 pm

Re: Serious about going back
 
5 months is a dangerous time to make any decisions, factor in winter and its even more perilous.

Give it more time. Join some clubs, go along to some of those extra curricula activities, try and immerse yourself in what canadians do, or explore the local scene for things that interest you. If you dont ski or skate, then give it a go, find some lessons. Dont sit around getting depressed and pining for your old life.

If life still sucks after a year or 18 months then its worth taking some action, but at 5 months the honeymoon is over but things wont have fallen into place yet unless you are really lucky.

I wish my kid got homework every night, most of the time she has nothing (in grade 3) as she finishes all her work in class.

Mrs-G Dec 7th 2010 8:02 pm

Re: Serious about going back
 
I've felt the same way, and I've spent half my life between Canada and Scotland. So its possible to feel homesick even though you know the place and people well. I don't have kids though so can't really compare on that side of things.

I know its hard, and it possibly seems like the easiest thing to just say sod it, and pack everyone up and go back to what's familiar. I agree with the others though - try to give it a bit of time....if you can. Its a tough time of year, winters coming in, Christmas is coming up and you feel like all of your extended family are so far away, and what have you done.

I think its probably difficult for you too as you are waiting to get your qualifications approved before you can work. I have found that moving as an adult, a lot of the people you make friends with are through work or your kids. And if you're not working, and your kids haven't got settled into activities or a good group of friends, this can make you feel more isolated.

Its different for everyone - and I certainly wouldn't try to tell anyone what to do in this situation, but I would urge you to try to hang on til you've let the dust settle a bit, enjoy a summer and see how you feel.

JamesM Dec 7th 2010 8:06 pm

Re: Serious about going back
 

Originally Posted by taichiiqueen (Post 9026890)
Only been here for 5 months, and now even OH is fed up.

Have tried to stick it out and realise lifestyle is better but...
12 yr old is getting depressed,at least 3 pieces of homework every night,
children don't do anything apart from extra curricular activities they never hang out,
trying to mix with locals and just get empty gestures of we will have to...,
was promised lots of support and help from OH company- it never happened I ended up doing most of it,
still waiting for my certificates to be assessed so I can get a job,
OH hasnt been warm for 2 months - he hates the cold.

BUT

do we go back to the doom and gloom of UK
rising taxes
general lethargy

ARRRGGHH!!!!!!!!!

Rock and a hard place.
Some general advise would be appreciated.We have had this down before, but it doesn't seem to get any easier.Is it worth it????:unsure:

Give it a year and keep plugging away.

CanadaJimmy Dec 7th 2010 8:08 pm

Re: Serious about going back
 
How about trying another City in Canada? Where in the UK were you living before?

Oink Dec 7th 2010 9:05 pm

Re: Serious about going back
 

Originally Posted by CanadaJimmy (Post 9027050)
How about trying another City in Canada? Where in the UK were you living before?

I'd either go back to the UK or move somewhere that's not in the middle of nowhere and isn't freezing for half the year. They should only give 30 mins of homework for intermediate grades in Vancouver. Plus, there iare growing calls for no homework at all until the later stages of high school.

Almost Canadian Dec 7th 2010 10:01 pm

Re: Serious about going back
 

Originally Posted by taichiiqueen (Post 9026920)
Nooo kids don't hang with each other without adult supervision, even a trip to local store, or friends houses etc.

UK is way more advanced than here, so issue isn't level but amount, and sitting till 9pm every night doing homework is not what we came here for.I have asked about and its very common. I'm a Teacher and even I see a need for a life balance.

Thanks anyway.

My youngest are 7 and 10. Most evenings they are out with their friends riding their bikes, playing, skating, sledding etc. At weekends we only see them at feeding times. All the little 'uns where we live do the same.

Our`s do they share of supervised sports as well, but kids need to be kids. I have to admit, you are the first person I have ever heard say such things about Canada. Most newbies wax lyrical about how kids here are like they remember their childhood being.

ExKiwilass Dec 7th 2010 10:47 pm

Re: Serious about going back
 
Slightly OT but one of my albertan friends has a 6 year old who is currently getting around an hour and a half of homework per night.

6 years old.

I'm sure it depends on the school though.

taichiiqueen Dec 7th 2010 10:49 pm

Re: Serious about going back
 

Originally Posted by Almost Canadian (Post 9027257)
My youngest are 7 and 10. Most evenings they are out with their friends riding their bikes, playing, skating, sledding etc. At weekends we only see them at feeding times. All the little 'uns where we live do the same.

Our`s do they share of supervised sports as well, but kids need to be kids. I have to admit, you are the first person I have ever heard say such things about Canada. Most newbies wax lyrical about how kids here are like they remember their childhood being.

My sentiments exactly, kids need to be kids, and that's what he used to do in the UK.He never goes out here, and I think he is depressed.There aren't any children to be seen anywhere, only in their homes doing homework or getting ferried to a club.Even the local skate rink is empty.He told me that kids get grounded if they happen to do a little badly at school or the Teacher complains there work was late etc.Not my idea of raising children.:thumbsup:
Anyway I think we are going to go home, my son needs an outdoor environment and friends to be with.Thank you for all your support

taichiiqueen Dec 7th 2010 10:51 pm

Re: Serious about going back
 

Originally Posted by CanadaJimmy (Post 9027050)
How about trying another City in Canada? Where in the UK were you living before?


Thought about that but hubbys work is here so not an option.
In the Uk we were from North East beach in front of us and North Yorkshire Moors 20 mins away.Small community and family.


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