Regret leaving Canada
 

We got PR back in late 2017. We came and landed in Calgary and I even got a job in 2018 for 7 months. But was let go due to change in management. Tried to get something else but no luck so an old boss in UK and offered a contract job which I took and spent 9 months in UK in 2019. I came back to Canada in early 2020 just before Covid hit. I managed to get a job pay almost 90k but I wasn’t happy in the role. Instead of looking for another role or moving province I convinced my partner that it was better we returned to UK since we didn’t have much roots in Canada. However I believe deep down my partner preferred Canada because she settled in better than I did.
After being in UK for a year now am regretting why I left in a hurry and I should have stayed. Have anyone moved back and felt otherwise.
Also my daughter has been diagnosed with Autism spectrum.
Not sure how I can overcome the feeling of this regret. My job in UK is okay but I just have a gut feeling we should have stayed but I didn’t have the patience to make it work. My partner is okay living in UK but if she had to choose between the two it will be Canada. Sorry I know I am stupid.

Re: Regret leaving Canada
 

You're not stupid at all. It's been a tough year, and not a great one to be in the UK, do you think you'd feel the same if you'd been able to live normally?

It sounds as though you've got some time to make a decision before you risk losing your PR status, so no need to panic yet. What does your partner think, does she want to return?

Might be worth searching the forum for info on autism provision in Canada, from what I've read previously it's not great, so depending on your daughter's needs, that may be a factor too.

Re: Regret leaving Canada
 

Thank you for your kind response. She probably will if we discuss it further. Also we just bought a house so not sure if that complicates things.
i will search the forum for autism related questions.

Re: Regret leaving Canada
 

I think many who have left Canada for whatever reason, do have regrets. The nice thing about Alberta is that there is simply more space. That alone gives one the feeling of more freedom, which makes up easily for lack of roots or lack of historic places.

Re: Regret leaving Canada
 

Any further assumptions to add? You’re only representing your own biases and preferences. None of what you say is as categorical as you suggest.

Re: Regret leaving Canada
 

No, you're doing that.

Re: Regret leaving Canada
 

I’m open minded and just challenging your statement. Some folk like and miss historical places, which I assume to mean in your context as older buildings like castles and stately homes, listed buildings and monuments.

For some, wide open spaces aren’t a motivating factor - they can after all be found elsewhere than Canada. Leaving Canada needn’t be, nor is often a regret for many as you purport, unless you’ve some data to substantiate that?

Re: Regret leaving Canada
 

Sorry, I didn't get that.

Yes, this means different things to different people and personal circumstances also differ. Regarding Alberta, I honestly like that province a lot, even though culturally and historically it's a complete wasteland, but it easily makes up in wide open places and access to decent skiing areas. I often missed decent skiing options in Ontario or Quebec. Mt. Tremblant isn't really close to that what I am used to, however Jasper and Banff are for sure.

Re: Regret leaving Canada
 

I have a autistic daughter, born here. She aged out of the support programs in Canada and now lives in Europe. If your autistic person will outlive you and will need support indefinitely, and you intend the person to live in Canada, you need to create siblings to provide that support. None, or anyway less, of that namby-pamby nanny state here!

There is, of course, potentially a huge gap between "autism spectrum" and "non-verbal, deeply autistic".

Re: Regret leaving Canada
 

Thank you for your candid response. She is on the nonverbal autism spectrum. But she seems to remember the things she watched on pepper pig. She constantly repeat them.

Re: Regret leaving Canada
 

Heath and social service stuff is all Provincial and I'm in Ontario so I can't say for sure the situation is in AB. However, for an autistic person over 21, there's nothing here, I've no reason to think it's better there. I previously posted that anyone considering taking an autistic dependent to Canada should give their head a shake and that's still my view.

Re: Regret leaving Canada
 

I understand Jasper and Banff as good ski options and Tremblant has good runs etc (plus Mt St Anne, Le Massif and some places in New England) but honestly with Blue Mountain being as good as it gets in Ontario, where were the 'decent' Ontario ski options ?

Re: Regret leaving Canada
 

I have an interest in services for people with a disability, both through my work and by being the parent of an (now adult) child with a disability. I had a look at services in Canada for adults on the autism spectrum and found the situation as bleak as you describe.

This article had a particularly sad example of a middle-aged man being kept in a hospital's psychiatric ward for 14 months and counting, where the only 'support' he received seems to have been medication. As if you can medicate autism away.
https://globalnews.ca/news/6535088/a...rvices-canada/

I think your first-hand knowledge and advice is incredibly valuable to the OP and others in a similar situation.

Re: Regret leaving Canada
 

Thank you for your response. It looks indeed bleak. 🇬🇧 looks way better.

Re: Regret leaving Canada
 

Services for children on any level of the autism spectrum is pretty dismal all across Canada, whether that is early help (pre-kindergarten), in school, or particularly after age 18 onwards. Monetary support is also lacking, and parents find they have to pay out of their own pocket for extra support in many cases.

She, and you, would have been in dire straits over that last year as covid put a halt to schools, so many children on the spectrum lost all that support, had to get used to online teaching, and their parents get used to supporting them at all levels, losing any kind of home relief. Parents of severely autistic ch8ildren were quite literally left entirely on their own here in BC, with no relief services allowed. The stories have been heart-rending.

I can understand you missing Canada as I would never have left at any point, we will have been here 54 years tomorrow!

But I do think that you have to consider very carefully whether you can afford to raise your child here, when compared with what might be available in the UK.


I have a grandchild in another province who is extremely intelligent but has a number of autism-like traits. The psychologists did not know how to classify him when assessing him before kindergarten, but they placed him on the spectrum so that he would get continued help in school. That worked, but his parents are having to use their own money, with some help from the extended heath policy from one parent's employment, to get him the other help he needs outside school .......... including behavioural and dyslexic coaching.

He's doing well, but finding it hard in his social life at school and often gets bullied because of some of his behaviours. Luckily he has found a few good friends.