Originally Posted by Ruby Murray

I know this post is quite a few weeks old now, but I've only just come across it as I've been away from the site for a couple of weeks for a mental break!

If you'd have asked me this question between August 2005 and August 2007, I'd have said "Yes, absolutely settled and totally LOVE my life here". From Sept '07 onwards, my feelings changed and so did situations in my life that influenced these feelings.

**Note to those who are bored sh#tless with people's bad-luck stories, stop reading now 'cos this might be a bit long-winded!**

Many people on here know my circumstances but in a nutshell things began on the downward slope when we bought this house. Because the housing market was right at it's peak in Aug '07, we paid $305,000 for it but we didn't have any deposit to put down, and therefore 100% financed I knew by Christmas '07 that we were going to struggle to pay for it as our funds in the bank were going down each month by about $500. Soon enough we were approaching, and then going under our 'safety net' figure of $5K. Then January, my FIL died; trip home for 4 of us for one week was approx $5K - all added to OH's M'card. The death in the family created an overnight change in me, I was no longer settled and had a gut feeling to end our Canadian adventure and return home to be back with family - but OH didn't want to go back and our relationship hit a very rocky patch. Swamped with depression, battling my feelings and trying to carry on with my job with the AB government, I had a mental breakdown at work in the April '08 and was off for 3 months. This reduced pay and added pressure created more tension in the house - by now our money was at least $1000 below our 'safety net'.

Then in June, news from OH's family back home was that his mum was losing her battle with Motor Neurone Disease (Lou Gehrig's Disease) and so another trip back home ensued, as well as another $6,000, this time, whacked onto my M'card! Thankfully, MIL had life-saving surgery and began to pick up and amazingly, she is still hanging on there but her condition is deteriorating. I loved being back home for those 2 weeks in June '08....I relished in my family's company, took in the scenery with appreciative eyes, had fun at the seaside and not to mention was in my element when shopping!!

Back in Canada, I had to return to work in the July on a graduated part time basis - again, on reduced pay and by this point, we were about $2,000 below our 's.n.' figure. In all honesty, I was never truly happy in my job and found it stressful even before the problems set in, but I knew when I went back there after my 3 month stress leave that it wasn't going to work for me. I was still suffering depression but I had to go back to work for the money's sake and because my OH was pressurising me constantly about the funds going lower and lower. By October, something snapped in my head and I decided I couldn't take the job no more and handed in my resignation. I was so relieved to be free of it, and so confident in getting another job because of the experience I'd gained and where I'd worked. I registered with 2 recruitment agencies in Red Deer - top ones - and to this day have not received a single assignment. I'm told it is because of the slow down and lack of jobs and I do believe that. I had my first interview of the New Year just yesterday - a job for a Receptionist/Office Assistant. My interviewers told me that 66 applications were received over 2 days - some from highly skilled and top qualified women - and they chose just 6 out of them. I felt lucky that I was selected, however, whether I get offered the position is another thing. Our situation is so bad now that we are $4,000 below that 's.n.' figure Our house, in today's real estate market prices, is worth approx $280,000 and our mortgage lender tells us we still owe $310,000. We owe $17,000 to the lenders of our truck finance and Chevy Avalanches are being sold for peanuts now. We owe a combined total of $12,000 to M'card. I feel we have no-one to turn to for help and advice on our financial situation.....no Citizens' Advice Bureau or Debt help-line. I saw a Bankruptcy consultant last December and he told me that our best option was to file for bankruptcy....but when I told that to the OH, he was adamant and wanted to plough on. We will run out of money very soon, and probably next month, I won't be able to pay the bills at all. There are still jobs out there like store work and fast food, but (and Piff Poff will back me up on this) a lot of these jobs since New Year have been reduced to part-time work only. This makes me laugh......I have put in 3 applications to Costco since leaving my gov. job and even though I have had great experience of customer service, I have not had any response - but I go in there every week and see so many "South American" and other ethnic races working there on the food sample stands, and I swear their English is next to nothing! Go figure!

It's hard going here in Canada when you're on the bones of your arse...believe me. I am scared to death, but more like a "paralysed rabbit caught in the headlights" way of what's going to happen to us. I know there are many, many like us going through the same in the UK, but there is help available there and a benefit system to fall back on if and when it is desperately needed.

Sorry for waffling I had to get it all off my chest. I want people to realise what could happen to them when the chips are down.
R.M.

Originally Posted by englishintruder

High petrol prices, high taxes, no respect, crap eduction system, high divorce rate,
Too many people riding the welfare system. I live in a culdasac which is made up of 12 houses and 2 bungalows, there Housing asscociation, the neighbours are frendly people and kids all get on doors open all same age so playing in and out all the time. But i can count on 1 hand the amount of people that work in these houses. 5!!, 3 live in the same house, myself and the plumber over road.
I got one neighbour with 2 kids, who is over weight, cant work(never worked), but has a brand new citreon C4 sitting outside house,another that was a gambling addict, 3 kids and is on incapacitiy allowance constanly buying new electronic equipment, LCD tv, new car ect.. another who has got 6 kids and boast that she brings in over £400 a week and her rent council tax is payed.
One jokingly thanked me for paying my tax the other day because he got a £25 bonus in his money due to the fact that the weather dropped below freezing and every week it does he will get another £25! wot a joke! they should give vouchers so they no its going on electric/gas!! the junkys will get an few extra hits thanks to the weather!
All these could go to work
And we wonder why we pay so much tax, Immagrants take up a small amount of our tax, the welfare blaggers take a big toll on it.

I went to my gym the other day and it was full of eatern europeans,I said to the guy behind desk, it busy today, he said yeah they all get there memberships payed for by benefit!:curse:

Originally Posted by Ruby Murray

Then in June, news from OH's family back home was that his mum was losing her battle with Motor Neurone Disease (Lou Gehrig's Disease) and so another trip back home ensued, as well as another $6,000, this time, whacked onto my M'card! Thankfully, MIL had life-saving surgery and began to pick up and amazingly, she is still hanging on there but her condition is deteriorating.

Originally Posted by Auld Yin

Many people view bankruptcy as the end when in fact it's available to give one a new start and a new beginning. Ruby, you must work to convince your husband that this is the correct route for the whole family. The truth will set you free.

Originally Posted by Yogi-Bear

You didn't waffle, you're just saying it as it is. Personally, I'd file for bankruptcy straight away as you were advised to do.

This is not going to go away, and can only get worse with interest. Your O/H needs to know when to throw the towel in, and that's NOW! If you don't act now, and it's repossessed, you'll end up with literally nothing!

Are there no interest free cards (if you must) that you can transfer the debt for six months too?

I really do wish you well, but you need to act now!

Y

Originally Posted by Auld Yin

Many people view bankruptcy as the end when in fact it's available to give one a new start and a new beginning. Ruby, you must work to convince your husband that this is the correct route for the whole family. The truth will set you free.

Originally Posted by Yogi-Bear

Well said Auld, my point exactly. They need to do something like, yesterday! Before this situation is taken from their control, and placed in the hands of vultures!

Y

Originally Posted by act1980

I was talking to someone today and telling them how I plan to live in Canada one day.

They told me that you never really settle when you move and that the grass is always greener....

I would just like to know how true that statement is? How many of you out there feel more at home than you ever did in the UK? And how many of you just don't feel like you have settled at all?

I look forward to hearing your experiences.

Originally Posted by Ruby Murray

I hear you all loud and clear on this....I've known the money was slipping away a good few months ago, that's why I went to see a Bankruptcy Advisor in December and the OH refused to believe it then and said we should chug along and hope a job comes along for me and then everything will be hunky dory again.

Well after reading your replies, I tried to have another word with him again last night about our finances, and again, he blew up! Absolutely refused the suggestion of selling stuff off (said he'd rather burn it on the back garden than let bailliff's come for it - idiot!!), and that because of my want to return to the UK, it's all my fault because I'm deliberately holding off getting a job, on purpose, so that we will fail. Yes, I know I need to get another job, like quick.....and it's not for want of trying, but I tell him I can't pluck one out of fresh air!! Office work is really thin on the ground, like so many jobs right now.

I'm bashing my head against a brick wall with him:curse:....he's doing it again.....stubbornly digging his heels in and refusing to accept the situation, whereas I want to get some plan into action. Is it possible for me to declare my own bankruptcy that would include my credit card, my half of the debt on the mortgage and truck....or do we have to apply as a couple because of these being in joint name?

Originally Posted by Auld Yin

Sorry, but if you co-signed the debts you are responsible for the total amount. What stuff would he burn? If you mean stuff such as clothes, furnishings etc. It's highly unlikely the bailiffs would have any interest in them. Are your car/credit card payments up-to-date? If so then you could negotiate with the companies for lower paymentsor payment and/or interest moratorium until your financial position improves. In today's economic downturn such companies would rather do this than write off your debts altogether. The mortgage holder certainly doesn't want the house if its value is less than the debt. Again you can negotiate with them for lower payments or an extended amortisation period. Have you sought out credit counselling. For Red Deer the information is:-

4728 Ross Street
Red Deer, AB T4N 1X2
Phone: 1-888-294-0076 (toll-free)
Fax: (403) 265-2240

If you go and see them they will assist you negotiate with your creditors. Such agencies have years of experience in dealing with situations such as yours.
It is essential that you move on this as quickly as possible. Debt problems rank extremely high in the causes for marital breakup list.
Believe me when I say I feel for you in this time of difficulty for you and your family.

Originally Posted by Ruby Murray

I know this post is quite a few weeks old now, but I've only just come across it as I've been away from the site for a couple of weeks for a mental break!

If you'd have asked me this question between August 2005 and August 2007, I'd have said "Yes, absolutely settled and totally LOVE my life here". From Sept '07 onwards, my feelings changed and so did situations in my life that influenced these feelings.

**Note to those who are bored sh#tless with people's bad-luck stories, stop reading now 'cos this might be a bit long-winded!**

Many people on here know my circumstances but in a nutshell things began on the downward slope when we bought this house. Because the housing market was right at it's peak in Aug '07, we paid $305,000 for it but we didn't have any deposit to put down, and therefore 100% financed I knew by Christmas '07 that we were going to struggle to pay for it as our funds in the bank were going down each month by about $500. Soon enough we were approaching, and then going under our 'safety net' figure of $5K. Then January, my FIL died; trip home for 4 of us for one week was approx $5K - all added to OH's M'card. The death in the family created an overnight change in me, I was no longer settled and had a gut feeling to end our Canadian adventure and return home to be back with family - but OH didn't want to go back and our relationship hit a very rocky patch. Swamped with depression, battling my feelings and trying to carry on with my job with the AB government, I had a mental breakdown at work in the April '08 and was off for 3 months. This reduced pay and added pressure created more tension in the house - by now our money was at least $1000 below our 'safety net'.

Then in June, news from OH's family back home was that his mum was losing her battle with Motor Neurone Disease (Lou Gehrig's Disease) and so another trip back home ensued, as well as another $6,000, this time, whacked onto my M'card! Thankfully, MIL had life-saving surgery and began to pick up and amazingly, she is still hanging on there but her condition is deteriorating. I loved being back home for those 2 weeks in June '08....I relished in my family's company, took in the scenery with appreciative eyes, had fun at the seaside and not to mention was in my element when shopping!!

Back in Canada, I had to return to work in the July on a graduated part time basis - again, on reduced pay and by this point, we were about $2,000 below our 's.n.' figure. In all honesty, I was never truly happy in my job and found it stressful even before the problems set in, but I knew when I went back there after my 3 month stress leave that it wasn't going to work for me. I was still suffering depression but I had to go back to work for the money's sake and because my OH was pressurising me constantly about the funds going lower and lower. By October, something snapped in my head and I decided I couldn't take the job no more and handed in my resignation. I was so relieved to be free of it, and so confident in getting another job because of the experience I'd gained and where I'd worked. I registered with 2 recruitment agencies in Red Deer - top ones - and to this day have not received a single assignment. I'm told it is because of the slow down and lack of jobs and I do believe that. I had my first interview of the New Year just yesterday - a job for a Receptionist/Office Assistant. My interviewers told me that 66 applications were received over 2 days - some from highly skilled and top qualified women - and they chose just 6 out of them. I felt lucky that I was selected, however, whether I get offered the position is another thing. Our situation is so bad now that we are $4,000 below that 's.n.' figure Our house, in today's real estate market prices, is worth approx $280,000 and our mortgage lender tells us we still owe $310,000. We owe $17,000 to the lenders of our truck finance and Chevy Avalanches are being sold for peanuts now. We owe a combined total of $12,000 to M'card. I feel we have no-one to turn to for help and advice on our financial situation.....no Citizens' Advice Bureau or Debt help-line. I saw a Bankruptcy consultant last December and he told me that our best option was to file for bankruptcy....but when I told that to the OH, he was adamant and wanted to plough on. We will run out of money very soon, and probably next month, I won't be able to pay the bills at all. There are still jobs out there like store work and fast food, but (and Piff Poff will back me up on this) a lot of these jobs since New Year have been reduced to part-time work only. This makes me laugh......I have put in 3 applications to Costco since leaving my gov. job and even though I have had great experience of customer service, I have not had any response - but I go in there every week and see so many "South American" and other ethnic races working there on the food sample stands, and I swear their English is next to nothing! Go figure!

It's hard going here in Canada when you're on the bones of your arse...believe me. I am scared to death, but more like a "paralysed rabbit caught in the headlights" way of what's going to happen to us. I know there are many, many like us going through the same in the UK, but there is help available there and a benefit system to fall back on if and when it is desperately needed.

Sorry for waffling I had to get it all off my chest. I want people to realise what could happen to them when the chips are down.
R.M.

Originally Posted by Ruby Murray

I know this post is quite a few weeks old now, but I've only just come across it as I've been away from the site for a couple of weeks for a mental break!

If you'd have asked me this question between August 2005 and August 2007, I'd have said "Yes, absolutely settled and totally LOVE my life here". From Sept '07 onwards, my feelings changed and so did situations in my life that influenced these feelings.

**Note to those who are bored sh#tless with people's bad-luck stories, stop reading now 'cos this might be a bit long-winded!**

Many people on here know my circumstances but in a nutshell things began on the downward slope when we bought this house. Because the housing market was right at it's peak in Aug '07, we paid $305,000 for it but we didn't have any deposit to put down, and therefore 100% financed I knew by Christmas '07 that we were going to struggle to pay for it as our funds in the bank were going down each month by about $500. Soon enough we were approaching, and then going under our 'safety net' figure of $5K. Then January, my FIL died; trip home for 4 of us for one week was approx $5K - all added to OH's M'card. The death in the family created an overnight change in me, I was no longer settled and had a gut feeling to end our Canadian adventure and return home to be back with family - but OH didn't want to go back and our relationship hit a very rocky patch. Swamped with depression, battling my feelings and trying to carry on with my job with the AB government, I had a mental breakdown at work in the April '08 and was off for 3 months. This reduced pay and added pressure created more tension in the house - by now our money was at least $1000 below our 'safety net'.

Then in June, news from OH's family back home was that his mum was losing her battle with Motor Neurone Disease (Lou Gehrig's Disease) and so another trip back home ensued, as well as another $6,000, this time, whacked onto my M'card! Thankfully, MIL had life-saving surgery and began to pick up and amazingly, she is still hanging on there but her condition is deteriorating. I loved being back home for those 2 weeks in June '08....I relished in my family's company, took in the scenery with appreciative eyes, had fun at the seaside and not to mention was in my element when shopping!!

Back in Canada, I had to return to work in the July on a graduated part time basis - again, on reduced pay and by this point, we were about $2,000 below our 's.n.' figure. In all honesty, I was never truly happy in my job and found it stressful even before the problems set in, but I knew when I went back there after my 3 month stress leave that it wasn't going to work for me. I was still suffering depression but I had to go back to work for the money's sake and because my OH was pressurising me constantly about the funds going lower and lower. By October, something snapped in my head and I decided I couldn't take the job no more and handed in my resignation. I was so relieved to be free of it, and so confident in getting another job because of the experience I'd gained and where I'd worked. I registered with 2 recruitment agencies in Red Deer - top ones - and to this day have not received a single assignment. I'm told it is because of the slow down and lack of jobs and I do believe that. I had my first interview of the New Year just yesterday - a job for a Receptionist/Office Assistant. My interviewers told me that 66 applications were received over 2 days - some from highly skilled and top qualified women - and they chose just 6 out of them. I felt lucky that I was selected, however, whether I get offered the position is another thing. Our situation is so bad now that we are $4,000 below that 's.n.' figure Our house, in today's real estate market prices, is worth approx $280,000 and our mortgage lender tells us we still owe $310,000. We owe $17,000 to the lenders of our truck finance and Chevy Avalanches are being sold for peanuts now. We owe a combined total of $12,000 to M'card. I feel we have no-one to turn to for help and advice on our financial situation.....no Citizens' Advice Bureau or Debt help-line. I saw a Bankruptcy consultant last December and he told me that our best option was to file for bankruptcy....but when I told that to the OH, he was adamant and wanted to plough on. We will run out of money very soon, and probably next month, I won't be able to pay the bills at all. There are still jobs out there like store work and fast food, but (and Piff Poff will back me up on this) a lot of these jobs since New Year have been reduced to part-time work only. This makes me laugh......I have put in 3 applications to Costco since leaving my gov. job and even though I have had great experience of customer service, I have not had any response - but I go in there every week and see so many "South American" and other ethnic races working there on the food sample stands, and I swear their English is next to nothing! Go figure!

It's hard going here in Canada when you're on the bones of your arse...believe me. I am scared to death, but more like a "paralysed rabbit caught in the headlights" way of what's going to happen to us. I know there are many, many like us going through the same in the UK, but there is help available there and a benefit system to fall back on if and when it is desperately needed.

Sorry for waffling I had to get it all off my chest. I want people to realise what could happen to them when the chips are down.
R.M.

Originally Posted by Ruby Murray

Hi Brian and thanks for providing information on helping me find a resolution
I've just come off the phone to my mortgage lender, explained our predicament and asked them if they offered, what they call in the UK, a 'mortgage holiday' when you get a month's break but gets added at the end of the term. They do not The best they could offer was to remove the acceleration off our bi-weekly payments, bringing them down by $70 - better than nothing I suppose My next step is to get my OH to sit with me in front of a Debt counsellor so that he can hear it from a professional and not think it's just me nagging!

The stuff I've suggested we sell off are my OH's prized possessions:- his 50" TV, home cinema surround, Olympus digital SLR camera, top of the range Panasonic camcorder....granted, not worth as much now as what we paid for them but at least we'd get close to $2500!

All our payments are up to date, not behind on a single payment...but that could change by next month.

Sorry if my posts have caused the thread to go slightly off tangent...I did start out by answering the question about my (non)settlement