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Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Old Jan 25th 2021, 10:13 pm
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Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Originally Posted by kate8kate0 View Post
there are problems everywhere digitalghost.
Exactly. Both the UK and Canada are highly developed countries with a reputation for bureaucracy and a reasonably generous social safety net that sit directly above a much larger economy, be that either the US or the EU. Neither one of them is perfect but likewise neither will be turning into an impoverished tinpot failed state anytime soon either.
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Old Jan 25th 2021, 10:19 pm
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Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Originally Posted by DMajor View Post
My word, reading your posts is so depressing..
Most of what you say is pure speculation, you're so negative. Too many might be, could be, ifs and buts to make any sense.
Yes I totally agree.
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Old Jan 25th 2021, 10:44 pm
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Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Originally Posted by DigitalGhost View Post
It's probably best not to speculate about things like that.

Whilst an extra nationality is normally useful, I think you have to weigh up any associated sacrifices and make up your own mind. Everyone's situation is different.
I profoundly apologise for what I wrote, and if somebody had depressed feelings about my thoughts. I certainly wasn't predicting but merely writing a possible negative scenario which I myself don't ever want to see. I am quite confident with the UK as it is and certainly don't wish neither Scotland nor Northern Ireland ever to go.

However the recent political events around Brexit and or discontent about certain political things in London as well as nationalism and the upcoming election in Scotland are giving me not the most confident thoughts. Nationalism of any kind is rarely rational, even an 18 year old knows this......

Gordon Brown suggested the possibility of a "failed state" but I also think that idea is a bit overblown.

https://www.theguardian.com/politics...s-gordon-brown

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Old Jan 26th 2021, 1:16 am
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Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

I strongly suggest (as do others) that the OP and family apply for Citizenship before leaving Canada - who knows if life will be any better in the UK - it could turn out to be much worse, and they may want to return to Canada to a different Province, where life could be better for them all... at least with Citizenship they will retain that option.

Hopefully the 18 year old will feel a little more amenable to the idea of moving back, if she knows that she can return to Canada any time she wants to!
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Old Jan 27th 2021, 9:06 am
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Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Originally Posted by kate8kate0 View Post
Absolutely good food for thought.

I think for me it's also about conversation. I do really miss introspective talk, talking to Canadian people I feel its a bit intellectually stubborn, I feel a disconnect. I'm European, we're different, not in a bad way, but different. I have a brit friend in Vancouver and one in Toronto, they feel the same.

I mean don't get me wrong, I know there's issues and problems I'm not going to be happy with in the UK, I was naive when I thought about coming here, 'oh it will be fantastic!' but reality sets in, the grass isn't greener, and just maybe the real utopia is home.
​​​​​​To read some of the comments on life here in the UK made me want to pack my bags and leave ASAP lol truthfully though if things were like that and I actually live in the UK I would of left years ago and so would our two sons who spent most of their lives in Australia. If you think maybe trying a different region/area of Canada might help then do so first it might work wonders for you, you could maybe do this whilst waiting for citizenship. If you still feel the same way by then I would then head "home".by then your daughter might want to join you, she's 18 now and by then a lot of that age group are making their way in the world and if she wants to stay in Canada then she has to make it work for herself with a little help from her parents be that advice, encouragement, financial help. Cheltenham and the surrounding areas are lovely ) I spent a.few.weeks.in that part of the world last year and would consider moving there myself but prefer to be nearer the coast, my DH is working in Oxfordshire at the moment and we call it Durrasicshire as the amount of birds of prey you see flying around is amazing and that said by someone who lives in the Peak District lol. Hope all works out well for you. ps about the thread not Brits behaving (til tock) our.Cuban holiday was ruined by the behaviour of the Canadians off all ages...never seen anything like it lol and that said by a.Mancunian....glassn houses and all that
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Old Jan 28th 2021, 12:29 am
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Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Tough call. Sorry to hear you have this extra worry on top of moving/covid/starting over. My friends left a while back to Europe (not the UK) only to return 6 months later because of their children (both teenagers, grew up here). They left again 1 year later when the children realized they weren't all that attached to this place after all and actually missed Europe (their new friends, family etc) It's been about 5 years and they aren't coming back. You have no way of knowing what may happen.

A year ago I had my bags packed, grad school (in the UK) sorted out, and was so ready to leave for the UK but covid happened and all my plans got canceled, now Brexit happened and I am no longer allowed to go there (EU citizen, lived in the UK for a while). The most rotten luck ever. My own damn fault too, didn't have to wait until the very last moment to move, could have had a settler status by now. The idea of staying here until things settle is terrifying but that's because I was all so close, I think. But I know what it feels like once your mind is made up.

Good luck. It will work out, there might/will be a few issues here and there but I think planning is the most stressful part of the move because you cannot do anything about the future. Once you are there you will deal.



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Old Jan 29th 2021, 6:46 am
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Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Originally Posted by zdenka View Post
Tough call. Sorry to hear you have this extra worry on top of moving/covid/starting over. My friends left a while back to Europe (not the UK) only to return 6 months later because of their children (both teenagers, grew up here). They left again 1 year later when the children realized they weren't all that attached to this place after all and actually missed Europe (their new friends, family etc) It's been about 5 years and they aren't coming back. You have no way of knowing what may happen.

A year ago I had my bags packed, grad school (in the UK) sorted out, and was so ready to leave for the UK but covid happened and all my plans got canceled, now Brexit happened and I am no longer allowed to go there (EU citizen, lived in the UK for a while). The most rotten luck ever. My own damn fault too, didn't have to wait until the very last moment to move, could have had a settler status by now. The idea of staying here until things settle is terrifying but that's because I was all so close, I think. But I know what it feels like once your mind is made up.

Good luck. It will work out, there might/will be a few issues here and there but I think planning is the most stressful part of the move because you cannot do anything about the future. Once you are there you will deal.
Sorry to hear of your delayed plans, can you not travel to Ireland first which still has unlimited travel in Europe and see if you like Ireland enough to study there and hopefully you will and also maybe if you still want to in the future move to the UK...anyway it's just a thought..good luck
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Old Jan 29th 2021, 12:01 pm
  #98  
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Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Originally Posted by christmasoompa View Post
They're all lovely areas, Plymouth itself though is awful.
I agree my brother lives in Plymouth only because he works in Devonport. It's a typical Naval Town. It's funny with these Naval places, Esquimalt doesn't look very pretty either! The last time I was in Plymouth they were spending a lot of money doing the place up. It does have some nice suburbs though within easy travelling distance. We have been encouraged at seeing many places we like the look of but won't know until we are actually there. We intend to rent for a while and take our time.
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Old Jan 29th 2021, 1:09 pm
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Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Originally Posted by TheAwesomeMatt View Post
The guy earlier was being a tad dramatic about Victoria, I live here too and I would never leave. It's a great little place, it's fun exploring the whole island and it has great links to visit Vancouver or Seattle if you are interested in doing any larger city activities.

Anyway, it seems a tad cruel to take your kid away from the relationships that they've developed since you moved to Canada? Especially if she doesn't have citizenship and may find it difficult to move back to still see those friends? Couldn't you send in a citizen application for her?
Interesting, I find Victoria to be a very insular place. People see what they want to see depending on which part they live in and that's ok. We all have different experiences and expectations.

My wife works with a number of doctors at the Jubilee Hospital and some of them have no idea what goes on in the West Shore and surrounding area. If you see what I see in my daily work routine you may have a different opinion of the place, my wife would say the same. When we first moved to Victoria it was so refreshing moving from the LM not to have your facilities broken into virtually every day. I think I had one break-in in 3 years. Now it's virtually every week, if not several times, mainly due to the Province buying up Victoria hotels for the homeless, mentally ill and the 15 safe injection sites within a 5 km radius. These people should be in proper medical facilities, not on the streets. Speak to local business owners and see what their opinion are.

The place is geographically constrained and to densify this region without upgrading the infrastructure is insane. They are actually blasting the mountains away and natural features to densify even more. I cannot think to imagine what this place will be like in 5 years time when they have totally developed the West Shore and Royal Bay areas. Can someone tell me where the traffic will go?

Just last week a guy stole one of the water taxis in Victoria and was arrested but released later, the following evening the same guy smashed around 30 shop windows in Victoria. As always, this person was 'known' to the Police. The municipalities response was to vote for the taxpayers to pay for the damage! Then there was the warming shelter saga at Beacon Hill Park where the municipality instructed the volunteers to remove the shelter off the grass and then gave them permission to set it up on the adjacent road at Cook Street, reducing the road to one lane! Lets not forget the Victoria councillor who wanted to defund the police and the anti police mural in Bastion Square in which the Municipality contributed $$$. Then there is Langford, a nasty little place run by some very unsavoury people which couldn't be further politically apart than Victoria who think they can do as they please without any accountability to the people they are supposed to be serving. Two extremes of local government both of which have a dramatic impact on this tiny region.

One of the guys I work with, who is a minority lives in Royal Bay, you should ask him how he gets treated here. He gets food thrown at him and called racists names as he walks around Langford. A few of the local developers will not sell homes to South Asian people - such a delightful place!
I could go on and on about our experiences here but its done so much much damage to our opinion of the region and how the place is run. Lets not forget as well this is the riding of the Premier of BC who pops up now and again on TV to stamp his feet regarding people not following essential and COVID travel rules. Perhaps he should start in his own riding? I see regular crowds of surfers at Jordan River not wearing masks, standing beside of the highway in groups chatting away.

Then there are people who think this place is perfect and will tell you the complete opposite. All to their own.



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Old Jan 29th 2021, 11:16 pm
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Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Originally Posted by getoutofbritainquick View Post
Interesting, I find Victoria to be a very insular place. People see what they want to see depending on which part they live in and that's ok. We all have different experiences and expectations.

My wife works with a number of doctors at the Jubilee Hospital and some of them have no idea what goes on in the West Shore and surrounding area. If you see what I see in my daily work routine you may have a different opinion of the place, my wife would say the same. When we first moved to Victoria it was so refreshing moving from the LM not to have your facilities broken into virtually every day. I think I had one break-in in 3 years. Now it's virtually every week, if not several times, mainly due to the Province buying up Victoria hotels for the homeless, mentally ill and the 15 safe injection sites within a 5 km radius. These people should be in proper medical facilities, not on the streets. Speak to local business owners and see what their opinion are.

The place is geographically constrained and to densify this region without upgrading the infrastructure is insane. They are actually blasting the mountains away and natural features to densify even more. I cannot think to imagine what this place will be like in 5 years time when they have totally developed the West Shore and Royal Bay areas. Can someone tell me where the traffic will go?

Just last week a guy stole one of the water taxis in Victoria and was arrested but released later, the following evening the same guy smashed around 30 shop windows in Victoria. As always, this person was 'known' to the Police. The municipalities response was to vote for the taxpayers to pay for the damage! Then there was the warming shelter saga at Beacon Hill Park where the municipality instructed the volunteers to remove the shelter off the grass and then gave them permission to set it up on the adjacent road at Cook Street, reducing the road to one lane! Lets not forget the Victoria councillor who wanted to defund the police and the anti police mural in Bastion Square in which the Municipality contributed $$$. Then there is Langford, a nasty little place run by some very unsavoury people which couldn't be further politically apart than Victoria who think they can do as they please without any accountability to the people they are supposed to be serving. Two extremes of local government both of which have a dramatic impact on this tiny region.

One of the guys I work with, who is a minority lives in Royal Bay, you should ask him how he gets treated here. He gets food thrown at him and called racists names as he walks around Langford. A few of the local developers will not sell homes to South Asian people - such a delightful place!
I could go on and on about our experiences here but its done so much much damage to our opinion of the region and how the place is run. Lets not forget as well this is the riding of the Premier of BC who pops up now and again on TV to stamp his feet regarding people not following essential and COVID travel rules. Perhaps he should start in his own riding? I see regular crowds of surfers at Jordan River not wearing masks, standing beside of the highway in groups chatting away.

Then there are people who think this place is perfect and will tell you the complete opposite. All to their own.
I am just so amazed at this diatribe, which is what it is.

You seem to have no ability to see what is good.

We have friends in Victoria and area, have visited often, although not in the last year for obvious reasons, and nothing has ever sounded as bad as you describe, except in some small areas, where the homeless have begun to congregate.

We live in what is often described as the worst city for homeless addicted people, yet it is nothing like you have described, except for a smaller areas around the downtown east side.

I'm not saying that you have not had these experiences, but I am saying that itt seems to me that you have found yourselves in 2 wrong places ....... first Langford, then wherever you are living now.

in other words, you made wrong choices in choosing the area to live. There are many very pleasant liveable areas still in Victoria.

You blame the levels of government for buying hotels to home people living on the street for making matters worse.

What would you rather they do??? Shift 'em out to another town or province and let them take care of poor people, addicts, etc? Prairie provinces used to hand their homeless people Greyhound bus tickets to get to Vancouver, so BC could look after them. Thank heavens that stopped when Greyhound withdrew services in Canada.
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Old Feb 4th 2021, 9:07 am
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Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Originally Posted by scilly View Post
I am just so amazed at this diatribe, which is what it is.

You seem to have no ability to see what is good.

We have friends in Victoria and area, have visited often, although not in the last year for obvious reasons, and nothing has ever sounded as bad as you describe, except in some small areas, where the homeless have begun to congregate.

We live in what is often described as the worst city for homeless addicted people, yet it is nothing like you have described, except for a smaller areas around the downtown east side.

I'm not saying that you have not had these experiences, but I am saying that itt seems to me that you have found yourselves in 2 wrong places ....... first Langford, then wherever you are living now.

in other words, you made wrong choices in choosing the area to live. There are many very pleasant liveable areas still in Victoria.

You blame the levels of government for buying hotels to home people living on the street for making matters worse.

What would you rather they do??? Shift 'em out to another town or province and let them take care of poor people, addicts, etc? Prairie provinces used to hand their homeless people Greyhound bus tickets to get to Vancouver, so BC could look after them. Thank heavens that stopped when Greyhound withdrew services in Canada.
You sound really happy in Canada and there’s nothing wrong with that
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Old Feb 28th 2021, 2:02 pm
  #102  
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Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

I sympathize with your daughter; you are being selfish.

If your daughter sees her future in Canada, she needs Canadian work experience and qualifications. As many others have already stated on this website most Canadian employers do not accept foreign acquired work experience or qualifications (from UK or anywhere else)

Also, if your daughter gets Canadian citizenship, she will be eligible to legally work in the USA without a visa in TN-1 status – the jobs market there is much better than the north of England (or Canada).

I was born in Canada to English parents who took me to the North of England when I was a child. My mother told me that I needed to be educated and work in England first before moving back to Canada – dreadful advice. When I returned to Canada, I was locked out of the skilled jobs market and had to flee back to England. All I could get in Canada was a minimum wage job but now I have a professional job in the UK.

My Canadian passport is almost worthless. I am probably going to be stuck in the North of England for the rest of my life.
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Old Feb 28th 2021, 3:05 pm
  #103  
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Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Originally Posted by BananaMonarchy View Post
Also, if your daughter gets Canadian citizenship, she will be eligible to legally work in the USA without a visa in TN-1 status
Just to clarify for the sake of anybody reading, a visa is still required (as is a job offer). And there is a fairly limited list of jobs on the NAFTA list, so may not be relevant to the OP's daughter anyway, depending on what she ends up doing.

Originally Posted by BananaMonarchy View Post
I am probably going to be stuck in the North of England for the rest of my life.
No idea why you'd say that, plenty of other people manage it and that's without the advantage of Canadian citizenship.

Last edited by christmasoompa; Feb 28th 2021 at 3:08 pm.
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Old Feb 28th 2021, 4:02 pm
  #104  
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Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Originally Posted by BananaMonarchy View Post
I sympathize with your daughter; you are being selfish.

If your daughter sees her future in Canada, she needs Canadian work experience and qualifications. As many others have already stated on this website most Canadian employers do not accept foreign acquired work experience or qualifications (from UK or anywhere else)

Also, if your daughter gets Canadian citizenship, she will be eligible to legally work in the USA without a visa in TN-1 status – the jobs market there is much better than the north of England (or Canada).

I was born in Canada to English parents who took me to the North of England when I was a child. My mother told me that I needed to be educated and work in England first before moving back to Canada – dreadful advice. When I returned to Canada, I was locked out of the skilled jobs market and had to flee back to England. All I could get in Canada was a minimum wage job but now I have a professional job in the UK.

My Canadian passport is almost worthless. I am probably going to be stuck in the North of England for the rest of my life.
I'm not a fan of Canada and would dearly love to live in the North of England instead, however posters on here prove that it's possible for people to get great jobs in Canada after growing up and working in the UK. It may depend where you are in Canada, and job security is bad, but it's certainly possible to climb the career ladder here.
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Old Feb 28th 2021, 9:31 pm
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Default Re: Moving back home but 18 year old refusing .

Originally Posted by christmasoompa View Post
Just to clarify for the sake of anybody reading, a visa is still required (as is a job offer). And there is a fairly limited list of jobs on the NAFTA list, so may not be relevant to the OP's daughter anyway, depending on what she ends up doing.



No idea why you'd say that, plenty of other people manage it and that's without the advantage of Canadian citizenship.
This is anecdotal evidence.

Research shows that the vast majority of immigrants struggle to get decent jobs in Canada.
This article in the Montreal Gazette says it all. Canadian employers need workers but balk at hiring immigrants


“The findings are contained in a poll of more than 1,000 Canadian businesses. …… they prefer to hire less qualified candidates…………. rather than immigrants. Only 18 per cent said they would hire immigrants”

Why are expat Canucks thought of as “less than Canadian” when we return home, especially professionally?

Too often, returning Canadian expats are stymied in their professional aspirations, almost like being immigrants in their own country. Many simply give up and leave forever after 6 months or a year of fruitless searching for a career position, disappointed and frustrated. “

Employers don't know I am a Canadian when they look at my CV; they think I am a foreigner because they don't see any Canadian work experience or degree.

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