Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > Canada
Reload this Page >

Might have cold feet....

Might have cold feet....

Old Nov 9th 2015, 3:06 pm
  #1  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 6
inmypocket is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Might have cold feet....

Hello.
I would really appreciate the forum's input and advice a I don't have any family to ask. My 'story', if I may....

My husband and I stayed in Vancouver twice on two IEC visas and really enjoyed it. We came back to the UK after the last one ran out and missed the city. Back to our original careers and friends and felt we needed a change.
So, I applied to a few universities in an effort to change my career and to my great surprise and delight, I was accepted by UBC.
After a year of fussing over visas, fees and start dates we are now in a position where we are ready to go and start in January.
There's just one problem. I think we both have cold feet!

I'm not sure what to do. If we don't go, I think we would be missing an amazing opportunity. However, it could be a disaster...giving up two well paid careers to jump into the unknown. Another potentially useless qualification...
Did any of you get cold feet? Does anyone have any pearls of wisdom? I realise it's hardly a situation most folk would deem to be stressful, rather an amazing opportunity, but I feel conflicted. Especially as husband is close to family and is a natural worrier....
Thank you to anyone who has read to the end!
inmypocket is offline  
Old Nov 9th 2015, 3:19 pm
  #2  
Lost in BE Cyberspace
 
Joined: Nov 2011
Location: Somewhere between Vancouver & St Johns
Posts: 19,734
Former Lancastrian has a reputation beyond reputeFormer Lancastrian has a reputation beyond reputeFormer Lancastrian has a reputation beyond reputeFormer Lancastrian has a reputation beyond reputeFormer Lancastrian has a reputation beyond reputeFormer Lancastrian has a reputation beyond reputeFormer Lancastrian has a reputation beyond reputeFormer Lancastrian has a reputation beyond reputeFormer Lancastrian has a reputation beyond reputeFormer Lancastrian has a reputation beyond reputeFormer Lancastrian has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Might have cold feet....

You will get those saying do it and those saying don't.
Will you regret it if you do and regret it if you don't?
You have seen Canada and worked here and know what it has to offer same as the UK.
This will be your decision not some random strangers off a public internet website.
If I said do it and you hated it would you be blaming me or if you loved it would you be rewarding me?
Former Lancastrian is offline  
Old Nov 9th 2015, 3:25 pm
  #3  
Banned
 
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: SW Ontario
Posts: 19,879
Siouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Might have cold feet....

I think perhaps the question to ask yourself is this.

If Former Lancastrian told you that your application for a study permit had been refused and put you on a plane back to the UK, would you be gutted or relieved?

Siouxie is offline  
Old Nov 9th 2015, 3:52 pm
  #4  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Oct 2010
Location: Calgary, from South East England
Posts: 114
Yandros is a jewel in the roughYandros is a jewel in the roughYandros is a jewel in the roughYandros is a jewel in the rough
Default Re: Might have cold feet....

I'd think many, if not most, people get cold feet at some time in the process. From first application to getting PR took about 4 years in our case (which I think was fairly normal at the time), and we actually moved 18 months after getting PR, so 5 1/2 years from first application to actually getting here. Loads of time, you'd think, to get your head around the idea. That said, I still remember being back in the UK when we were getting organized to actually move, and at different times we both had thoughts of the "are we really doing the right thing" and "aren't we going to miss all sorts of things we currently take for granted" type. I don't think either of us ever got to the point where we really thought about not going - mainly because we knew if it really didn't work out we could come back to the UK, and we knew we'd spend a lot of time regretting not trying if we didn't go - but cold feet, absolutely.
Not sure if this will help you decide, which I agree with FL that only you can do, but I'd say cold feet are fairly normal at some point for most people. Finally, having made the move 3 1/2 years ago:Was it the right thing to do? Absolutely.Do we have any regrets? Yes - mainly missing family which we expected before we moved.Would I make the same decision again? Absolutely.
Good luck.
Yandros is offline  
Old Nov 9th 2015, 7:19 pm
  #5  
Just Joined
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 6
inmypocket is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Might have cold feet....

Hi all,
Thank you for your considered responses. To Former Lancastrian, I asked the question because I wanted some unbiased views, I absolutely wouldn't 'blame' anyone other than myself for the choices I make. Thank you for your comments.
I think when I'm 100 and looking back I'll probably remember and regret the things I didn't do and not the ones I did, even if they didn't work out...
Thanks again for taking the time, I really appreciate it.
inmypocket is offline  
Old Nov 9th 2015, 7:54 pm
  #6  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Nov 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 206
Roberto1980 has a reputation beyond reputeRoberto1980 has a reputation beyond reputeRoberto1980 has a reputation beyond reputeRoberto1980 has a reputation beyond reputeRoberto1980 has a reputation beyond reputeRoberto1980 has a reputation beyond reputeRoberto1980 has a reputation beyond reputeRoberto1980 has a reputation beyond reputeRoberto1980 has a reputation beyond reputeRoberto1980 has a reputation beyond reputeRoberto1980 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Might have cold feet....

Originally Posted by Yandros View Post
I'd think many, if not most, people get cold feet at some time in the process. From first application to getting PR took about 4 years in our case (which I think was fairly normal at the time), and we actually moved 18 months after getting PR, so 5 1/2 years from first application to actually getting here. Loads of time, you'd think, to get your head around the idea. .
If you don't mind me asking, why did you wait 18 months after getting PR before emigrating? Was it due to circumstances or did you plan it that way ?
Roberto1980 is offline  
Old Nov 9th 2015, 8:04 pm
  #7  
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: Maple Ridge BC
Posts: 309
nativenewyorker is a splendid one to beholdnativenewyorker is a splendid one to beholdnativenewyorker is a splendid one to beholdnativenewyorker is a splendid one to beholdnativenewyorker is a splendid one to beholdnativenewyorker is a splendid one to beholdnativenewyorker is a splendid one to beholdnativenewyorker is a splendid one to beholdnativenewyorker is a splendid one to beholdnativenewyorker is a splendid one to beholdnativenewyorker is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: Might have cold feet....

We were 100% committed with no doubts at all and found it a very difficult process. Everything is good now but it has taken me 4 years to feel at home here. If you have any uncertainties before you get here then I would say be prepared for them to continue for a while after you arrive which can lead to some pretty sad miserable days, but eventually everything comes good! Good luck with whatever you decide to do!
nativenewyorker is offline  
Old Nov 9th 2015, 9:09 pm
  #8  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Oct 2010
Location: Calgary, from South East England
Posts: 114
Yandros is a jewel in the roughYandros is a jewel in the roughYandros is a jewel in the roughYandros is a jewel in the rough
Default Re: Might have cold feet....

Originally Posted by Roberto1980 View Post
If you don't mind me asking, why did you wait 18 months after getting PR before emigrating? Was it due to circumstances or did you plan it that way ?
It was a bit of both. Due to some family circumstances, we didn't want to move over in 2010 (when we got PR), and the PR actually came through about a year earlier than we expected when we applied.
Yandros is offline  
Old Nov 9th 2015, 10:14 pm
  #9  
Banned
 
Joined: Nov 2015
Posts: 14
Tronna is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Might have cold feet....

You already know that Vancouver salaries are lower than London and there isn't a pub on every street corner, so I presume these aren't aspects of great importance (as they seem to be for many here).

If you're having cold feet about going to a city you've already lived in and enjoyed, I would say not to go. It's natural to have cold feet when stepping into the unknown of going abroad for the first time, and it wouldn't be a reason in itself not to go. In your case, you are already experienced. The cold feet are telling you to stay home imo.
Tronna is offline  
Old Nov 10th 2015, 2:14 am
  #10  
I need a walk
 
Stinkypup's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2014
Location: Okanagan
Posts: 4,895
Stinkypup has a reputation beyond reputeStinkypup has a reputation beyond reputeStinkypup has a reputation beyond reputeStinkypup has a reputation beyond reputeStinkypup has a reputation beyond reputeStinkypup has a reputation beyond reputeStinkypup has a reputation beyond reputeStinkypup has a reputation beyond reputeStinkypup has a reputation beyond reputeStinkypup has a reputation beyond reputeStinkypup has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Might have cold feet....

Originally Posted by Roberto1980 View Post
If you don't mind me asking, why did you wait 18 months after getting PR before emigrating? Was it due to circumstances or did you plan it that way ?
I think they had a wedding to go to!
Stinkypup is offline  
Old Nov 10th 2015, 3:25 am
  #11  
Listen to the Music
 
dave_j's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2013
Location: Fraser Valley BC
Posts: 4,187
dave_j has a reputation beyond reputedave_j has a reputation beyond reputedave_j has a reputation beyond reputedave_j has a reputation beyond reputedave_j has a reputation beyond reputedave_j has a reputation beyond reputedave_j has a reputation beyond reputedave_j has a reputation beyond reputedave_j has a reputation beyond reputedave_j has a reputation beyond reputedave_j has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Might have cold feet....

I think the issue here isn't one of choice. In this case either option of whether to stay in the UK or move to Canada is good and in your case you know how each will be in the short term, in fact there will be many who envy your position.
The real issue is one of personal responsibility and how you feel the choice made will make you feel in some years time.
A philosopher, I can't remember who, once speculated that happiness isn't a function of circumstance, it's how you personally feel things are going at any point in time. If you feel they're getting better then you're happy and vice versa. Either choice will be a hostage to fortune since nobody can foretell the future and either could make you feel bad.
The trick is to make a decision, make up your mind, and stick with it without regret. I suppose it's a mental bridge burning exercise.
dave_j is offline  
Old Nov 10th 2015, 5:29 am
  #12  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Nov 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 206
Roberto1980 has a reputation beyond reputeRoberto1980 has a reputation beyond reputeRoberto1980 has a reputation beyond reputeRoberto1980 has a reputation beyond reputeRoberto1980 has a reputation beyond reputeRoberto1980 has a reputation beyond reputeRoberto1980 has a reputation beyond reputeRoberto1980 has a reputation beyond reputeRoberto1980 has a reputation beyond reputeRoberto1980 has a reputation beyond reputeRoberto1980 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Might have cold feet....

Originally Posted by Stinkypup View Post
I think they had a wedding to go to!
What a coincidence! ;-) lol
Roberto1980 is offline  
Old Nov 10th 2015, 6:55 am
  #13  
Kelowna newbies July 15
 
Joined: Jul 2014
Location: Kelowna
Posts: 79
Beckie and Morgan UK is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Might have cold feet....

Myself and OH felt exactly the same and we've only been here since July! I'm a student and my OH works full time. We planned, prepared, anticipated but nothing prepares you for how you'll actually feel. I don't regret coming here at all, we live in a beautiful place but being on a study visa means it can be just an experience (a very expensive one!) but I never would have forgiven myself if I hadn't done this. As it became very real before coming I really had cold feet, mostly of the unknown things ahead but it turned to excitement! Now it's day to day life as usual like we've always been here.
Beckie and Morgan UK is offline  
Old Nov 10th 2015, 7:02 am
  #14  
I need a walk
 
Stinkypup's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2014
Location: Okanagan
Posts: 4,895
Stinkypup has a reputation beyond reputeStinkypup has a reputation beyond reputeStinkypup has a reputation beyond reputeStinkypup has a reputation beyond reputeStinkypup has a reputation beyond reputeStinkypup has a reputation beyond reputeStinkypup has a reputation beyond reputeStinkypup has a reputation beyond reputeStinkypup has a reputation beyond reputeStinkypup has a reputation beyond reputeStinkypup has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Might have cold feet....

Originally Posted by Beckie and Morgan UK View Post
Myself and OH felt exactly the same and we've only been here since July! I'm a student and my OH works full time. We planned, prepared, anticipated but nothing prepares you for how you'll actually feel. I don't regret coming here at all, we live in a beautiful place but being on a study visa means it can be just an experience (a very expensive one!) but I never would have forgiven myself if I hadn't done this. As it became very real before coming I really had cold feet, mostly of the unknown things ahead but it turned to excitement! Now it's day to day life as usual like we've always been here.
Will soon be ski time
Stinkypup is offline  
Old Nov 10th 2015, 7:09 am
  #15  
Kelowna newbies July 15
 
Joined: Jul 2014
Location: Kelowna
Posts: 79
Beckie and Morgan UK is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Might have cold feet....

Yes indeed! Big white opening two weeks earlier next Friday I think! I've never indulged in winter sports before so hopefully I'll do ok. Missing home a bit! Had to nip back a few weeks ago jut to check it was still there! Was happy to be back though. The flight from Vancouver to Kelowna was amazing!
Beckie and Morgan UK is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2023 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.