Go Back  British Expats > Living & Moving Abroad > Canada
Reload this Page >

Leaving Family & Friends

Leaving Family & Friends

Old Apr 9th 2010, 8:31 pm
  #31  
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 14,227
Alan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving Family & Friends

Originally Posted by JonboyE View Post
Very true. For a normal family to move from a grim northern town to a family home in the sort of crime free areas with good schools that do exist in the UK is almost impossible. The difference in property prices makes it so.

A move to Canada might actually be the cheaper option. Plus, you get the blank canvas to build your new life.
Except for here in Vancouver. Unless you are bringing a wad of cash with you.
Alan2005 is offline  
Old Apr 9th 2010, 9:29 pm
  #32  
Beep
 
el_richo's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 8,311
el_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving Family & Friends

Originally Posted by JonboyE View Post
I don't think it is stupid. I think experiencing something new, and learning from that experience what is important to you is a very rational, as well as valuable, thing to do.
Agreed. Sometimes you just need to scratch that itch but i'm amazed at how many people look so far afield, and at such an emotional and potentially financial expense to do this, as a first choice.

Still, i do personally find it odd that people can remove their children from their family, friends, and support network, and move across the world "for their own good".

Maybe when i have kids i'll understand.

Last edited by el_richo; Apr 9th 2010 at 9:34 pm.
el_richo is offline  
Old Apr 9th 2010, 9:40 pm
  #33  
Beep
 
el_richo's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 8,311
el_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving Family & Friends

Originally Posted by JonboyE View Post
Very true. For a normal family to move from a grim northern town to a family home in the sort of crime free areas with good schools that do exist in the UK is almost impossible. The difference in property prices makes it so.
Not sure about that one. I would have thought a family living in a grim northern town, who cannot afford to move a few miles down the road to a nicer area, would struggle to afford to uproot themselves, cover the moving expense, and live a more affluent life in Canada. Mainly due to grim northern house prices probably being not much different to lower end Canadian areas.

Plus such a family, i would assume, would have limited earning potential in the same way they do in the UK unless they retrain, progress, or influence their career choice. That said, they can also do the latter in the UK.

Again, all assumptions on my side.

I do find these decisions interesting.
el_richo is offline  
Old Apr 9th 2010, 10:05 pm
  #34  
Moderαtor Emeritus
 
iaink's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Upstate South Carolina
Posts: 30,760
iaink has a reputation beyond reputeiaink has a reputation beyond reputeiaink has a reputation beyond reputeiaink has a reputation beyond reputeiaink has a reputation beyond reputeiaink has a reputation beyond reputeiaink has a reputation beyond reputeiaink has a reputation beyond reputeiaink has a reputation beyond reputeiaink has a reputation beyond reputeiaink has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving Family & Friends

Originally Posted by el_richo View Post
Not sure about that one. I would have thought a family living in a grim northern town, who cannot afford to move a few miles down the road to a nicer area, would struggle to afford to uproot themselves, cover the moving expense, and live a more affluent life in Canada. Mainly due to grim northern house prices probably being not much different to lower end Canadian areas.

Plus such a family, i would assume, would have limited earning potential in the same way they do in the UK unless they retrain, progress, or influence their career choice. That said, they can also do the latter in the UK.

Again, all assumptions on my side.

I do find these decisions interesting.
You could easily move from a grim northern town £100k two up terrace house to a nice Quinte $150k 3 bed large lot detached house, even at the current crap exchange rate. The same thing in a Posh footballer populated bit of the NW would be well out of range Just a hypothetical example...
iaink is offline  
Old Apr 9th 2010, 10:13 pm
  #35  
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 14,227
Alan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving Family & Friends

Originally Posted by iaink View Post
You could easily move from a grim northern town £100k two up terrace house to a nice Quinte $150k 3 bed large lot detached house, even at the current crap exchange rate. The same thing in a Posh footballer populated bit of the NW would be well out of range Just a hypothetical example...
Do kids care about bigger / nicer houses? I thought that was the parents.
Alan2005 is offline  
Old Apr 9th 2010, 10:24 pm
  #36  
Moderαtor Emeritus
 
iaink's Avatar
 
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Upstate South Carolina
Posts: 30,760
iaink has a reputation beyond reputeiaink has a reputation beyond reputeiaink has a reputation beyond reputeiaink has a reputation beyond reputeiaink has a reputation beyond reputeiaink has a reputation beyond reputeiaink has a reputation beyond reputeiaink has a reputation beyond reputeiaink has a reputation beyond reputeiaink has a reputation beyond reputeiaink has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving Family & Friends

Originally Posted by Alan2005 View Post
Do kids care about bigger / nicer houses? I thought that was the parents.
Nicer areas, not necessarily nicer houses. Just seems that nicer houses tend to be put in nicer areas.

But happy relaxed parents breed happy relaxed kids too, so happier parents is a good thing
iaink is offline  
Old Apr 9th 2010, 10:36 pm
  #37  
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 14,227
Alan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving Family & Friends

Originally Posted by iaink View Post
Nicer areas, not necessarily nicer houses. Just seems that nicer houses tend to be put in nicer areas.

But happy relaxed parents breed happy relaxed kids too, so happier parents is a good thing
For sure. But for many people I suspect the 'for the kids' is based on good old fashioned british self-loathing. The UK is full of crime, bad schools, drugs, peado's. It's just not safe for kids there is it?

Most kids who grow up in the UK do ok though as do most kids who emigrate with their parents. In fact most kids do turn out ok and it's about the parents rather than the location. Hasn't Oink produced stats (hopefully rae won't read this) that indicate that the majority of child achievement is based on the parents rather than the school or something like that. I think this is agreeing with your last sentence anyway.
Alan2005 is offline  
Old Apr 9th 2010, 11:02 pm
  #38  
Beep
 
el_richo's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 8,311
el_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving Family & Friends

Originally Posted by iaink View Post
You could easily move from a grim northern town £100k two up terrace house to a nice Quinte $150k 3 bed large lot detached house, even at the current crap exchange rate.
What type of area would you get for $150k that could offer the parent a reasonable choice of accessible work while giving the child more choice and access to a better life compared to the UK?

Assumptions based upon the family living close to family and friends in the UK within reasonable commuting distance of at least one large city, at least one area of open countryside, and access to public amenities such as swimming, parks, play areas, etc.

I still think people tend to confuse their wants with their childrens needs with regards to this topic..

Last edited by el_richo; Apr 9th 2010 at 11:05 pm.
el_richo is offline  
Old Apr 9th 2010, 11:20 pm
  #39  
Binned by Muderators
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: White Rock BC
Posts: 11,631
JonboyE has a reputation beyond reputeJonboyE has a reputation beyond reputeJonboyE has a reputation beyond reputeJonboyE has a reputation beyond reputeJonboyE has a reputation beyond reputeJonboyE has a reputation beyond reputeJonboyE has a reputation beyond reputeJonboyE has a reputation beyond reputeJonboyE has a reputation beyond reputeJonboyE has a reputation beyond reputeJonboyE has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving Family & Friends

Originally Posted by Alan2005 View Post
Except for here in Vancouver. Unless you are bringing a wad of cash with you.
Agreed.

Originally Posted by Alan2005 View Post
For sure. But for many people I suspect the 'for the kids' is based on good old fashioned british self-loathing. The UK is full of crime, bad schools, drugs, peado's. It's just not safe for kids there is it?
Growing up in a grim northern village, and later as a teenager in a (slightly less) grim northern city I have seen pre-pubescent girls sexually assaulted without any apparent consequences and plenty of random and casual violence.

I am not, for a moment, suggesting all of the UK is like this, or that it cannot happen in Canada, but it is a reality for some people. They do have a fear of letting their children play unattended, and fear of the influence of the "bad lads" as they grow up. The fear may be unfounded but it is real.
JonboyE is offline  
Old Apr 9th 2010, 11:33 pm
  #40  
Beep
 
el_richo's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 8,311
el_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving Family & Friends

Originally Posted by JonboyE View Post
Growing up in a grim northern village...and plenty of random and casual violence.
Same here but a Grim Northern Port Town for me. I'm guessing, by the content of your posts, that you grew into a stable adult with an acceptable amount of success, as have I. For the latter, i thank my parents and myself.

Originally Posted by JonboyE View Post
They do have a fear of letting their children play unattended, and fear of the influence of the "bad lads" as they grow up. The fear may be unfounded but it is real.
Influenced by the media? I'm sure pockets of areas have deteriorated over the years but on the whole i don't believe children today are in any more danger than they were in the 70's, 80's, or 90's. As adults, i'm pretty sure we simplify our childhood as well as see the world through different eyes as we reach various stages of our lives.

That said, perception is important. Do we need to remove our children from their support network, friends, family, influential folk in their lives, and move them across the world to make their lives better? Probably not.

Last edited by el_richo; Apr 9th 2010 at 11:37 pm.
el_richo is offline  
Old Apr 9th 2010, 11:50 pm
  #41  
Binned by Muderators
 
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: White Rock BC
Posts: 11,631
JonboyE has a reputation beyond reputeJonboyE has a reputation beyond reputeJonboyE has a reputation beyond reputeJonboyE has a reputation beyond reputeJonboyE has a reputation beyond reputeJonboyE has a reputation beyond reputeJonboyE has a reputation beyond reputeJonboyE has a reputation beyond reputeJonboyE has a reputation beyond reputeJonboyE has a reputation beyond reputeJonboyE has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving Family & Friends

Originally Posted by el_richo View Post
I'm guessing, by the content of your posts, that you grew into a stable adult with an acceptable amount of success, as have I. For the latter, i thank my parents and myself.
To the extent that I have I am told that I have Mrs JonboyE to thank. *


* By Mrs. JonboyE
JonboyE is offline  
Old Apr 10th 2010, 12:33 am
  #42  
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 14,227
Alan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond reputeAlan2005 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving Family & Friends

Originally Posted by JonboyE View Post
The fear may be unfounded but it is real.
I don't disagree. If people feel more comfortable about letting their kids outside here then it's a good thing however unfounded the original fear is.

There have been a couple of murders of teenage girls in BC recently as you probably know. Despite this, the actual risk of this happening is very low, and probably not that much different in either place. By which I mean the average brit doesn't seem to be any more or less psychotic than the average canadian
Alan2005 is offline  
Old Apr 10th 2010, 3:01 am
  #43  
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: originally from Portchester, Nr Fareham UK now Braeside, nr Arnprior, Ontario and loving it!
Posts: 60
Martian75 has a brilliant futureMartian75 has a brilliant futureMartian75 has a brilliant futureMartian75 has a brilliant futureMartian75 has a brilliant futureMartian75 has a brilliant future
Default Re: Leaving Family & Friends

Originally Posted by el_richo View Post
Agreed. Sometimes you just need to scratch that itch but i'm amazed at how many people look so far afield, and at such an emotional and potentially financial expense to do this, as a first choice.

Still, i do personally find it odd that people can remove their children from their family, friends, and support network, and move across the world "for their own good".

Maybe when i have kids i'll understand.
Its not always people looking far afield, sometimes (as in our case) the opportunity comes looking for you. Life is very short and for me, you only live once, opportunities come along very rarely so when they arrive they should be grabbed! My husband got offered an excellent position, we have children and although it was really hard to take them away from their friends and family we also wanted to offer them something different, give them another viewpoint in life. Friends and family will always be there, just a little further afield and with skype and e-mail we can keep in touch, I know its not quite the same and it is hard for all of us, probably more for me than anyone. We didn't do it 'for their own good' we did it for - the life experience, the opportunity to see life in a different way and because we were offered the opportunity. Who knows whether its been the right thing to do or not, only time will tell but at least we can regret something we HAVE done not something we HAVEN'T.
Martian75 is offline  
Old Apr 10th 2010, 10:37 am
  #44  
Beep
 
el_richo's Avatar
 
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 8,311
el_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond reputeel_richo has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Leaving Family & Friends

Originally Posted by Martian75 View Post
Its not always people looking far afield, sometimes (as in our case) the opportunity comes looking for you. Life is very short and for me, you only live once, opportunities come along very rarely so when they arrive they should be grabbed! My husband got offered an excellent position, we have children and although it was really hard to take them away from their friends and family we also wanted to offer them something different, give them another viewpoint in life. Friends and family will always be there, just a little further afield and with skype and e-mail we can keep in touch, I know its not quite the same and it is hard for all of us, probably more for me than anyone. We didn't do it 'for their own good' we did it for - the life experience, the opportunity to see life in a different way and because we were offered the opportunity. Who knows whether its been the right thing to do or not, only time will tell but at least we can regret something we HAVE done not something we HAVEN'T.
You're right, however the basis of my posts are around those seeking a move "for the kids".

In the next few years, interaction with people left behind in other countries will be much simpler and more effective through the likes of Telepresence technologies so the distance will become psychologically and emotionally more acceptable, in my opinion.

I personally think allowing children more experience in the world is a good thing but parents need to be careful and more honest in their reasoning for uprooting to another country (as you appear to be).

Last edited by el_richo; Apr 10th 2010 at 10:40 am.
el_richo is offline  
Old Apr 10th 2010, 4:12 pm
  #45  
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
 
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Wolverhampton, but not forever!!!
Posts: 196
---mlm--- is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Leaving Family & Friends

Originally Posted by el_richo View Post
You're right, however the basis of my posts are around those seeking a move "for the kids".

In the next few years, interaction with people left behind in other countries will be much simpler and more effective through the likes of Telepresence technologies so the distance will become psychologically and emotionally more acceptable, in my opinion.

I personally think allowing children more experience in the world is a good thing but parents need to be careful and more honest in their reasoning for uprooting to another country (as you appear to be).
Like you say you haven't got children and therefore don't have that worry of the society that are growing up in. Of course it will be a life experience for all of us but whatever family we have round us here won't or cannot prevent things happening to my children and if there is a likelihood of this being a rarer case in another country then so be it.
---mlm--- is offline  

Contact Us - Archive - Advertising - Cookie Policy - Privacy Statement - Terms of Service - Do Not Sell My Personal Information -

Copyright © 2018 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.