MarkM

Hi,

Wife (Beck) and I are going round is circles at the moment and could do with some impartial advise.

Two options:
All (me, Beck and two kids) travel together on 7th January to land permanently on Vancouver Island. Then after we arrive, find accommodation, find schools then me find a job etc.

Second option:
Me go out on own on 7th January, I find accommodation, schools and start job hunting. Beck and kids stay in holiday accommodation here in Sidmouth where we live, stay at own school and then they travel out and land mid February.

Pros/Cons
If I go out first then less of a “shock” for kids in that will have found accommodation and schools etc. On the other hand being “left behind” would not be pleasant – especially when not in own home.

If I go out in advance, then possibly easier to find work – without having worry of Beck and children to distract, on the other hand if I actually do find work in that time then I will be at work while they try to settle in if they come out later.

Sorry for the rambling nature of this post but all opinions gratefully received.

Thanks,

M.

rschatha

Mark, Hi

Abit of a dilemma heay ?
I personally would land MYSELF 1st, this would give me opportunity to settle in (find, work, jobs, etc etc), which will be easier on your own, rather the whole family there.

Once your have found your feet, call family over and settle down together.
I suppose if you ALL go together there will loads to deal with esp kids, which are important, and they need to be stable.

Hope i have answered your question slightly.........

All the best, for what ever you decide

nikki dreaming

In my personal opinion I would keep the family unit together and all head out as a group, sorry not much help

bodgerx

My wife and I have had this conversation a few times.

Basically, it comes down to:

1. If you land first, will your OH be happy with the decisions you make for accommodation etc.

2. Do you want to break the family up for X amount of time?

3. How much money/disruption can you save going first?

I suppose only you can answer those questions...

London Mike

If you can afford it there's a 3rd option: go out in December yourself (BA has a seat sale on) and get some stuff sorted out at least before the 7th Jan - schools and housing are quite possible.
Then you can all travel together in Jan and it can seem less severe.
Hth, Mike

MR79

It also depends on how long it takes to find a job?!

yourself concentrate on finding a job, leave the accommodation and schools to the wife and kids...........

stick together its the best way, you dont how long it will take to find work and it may be more of a distraction thinking about the wife and kids back home and you alone in Canada.............

burton bunch

FWIW - OH and I landed on TWP's separately and the emotional pull etc of leaving each other was horrendous.

But also thought that if you "landed" as PR for the first time that you all had to do it together

printer

Just my two cents worth:

I have seen/heard of various families coming over separately and it always seems to give rise to problems as it is very difficult making decisions on your own and then finding that the rest of the family don't always agree when they land, it also separates you in in your greatest hour of need as this is a very stressful time and not a time when you want to be apart and living in temporary accomodations that neither of you can call home.

Again just my opinion but better to stay together as a family and work through it together and get the kids into new school making new friends asap and enjoy your time together choosing that new house/school/car/furniture etc.

When we landed we knew that we wanted to be in "The Okanagan" but had not chosen a definite place to live and we did not have any jobs or family to stay with but we did the whole thing as a family and i beleive it made us stronger and helped us fit into our new surroundings.

paolosmythe

my thoughts, and they require an element of honest introspection.... your plan depends upon the sort of personalities you have in the family;

best case scenario.... you go over there as a team and 'make a fist of it' together; prop each other up thru possible bouts of homesickness / doubts during unemployment / trauma of new schools and finding new pals etc etc.....

worst case scenario.... your missus / sprogs place additional demands upon you for their needs, thus making what can be a stressful and protracted process into a task which is more difficult than it needs to be, compared to if you had the chance to go over there and take care of bidnis and yourself only.

incidentally, it can be tricky to realise one's dreams... let alone to do it in a predetermined time frame. thinks can take some time over here.

just a thought. good luck.

kateodonnell

Hello
We will be in the same boat as yourselves. Hubby and youngest (as he wants the adventure - 9yrs old!!) are heading out at the start of Jan to sort out school etc for little one and start work, OH already has a job offer. They will be staying initially in a travel lodge with a kitchenette, and finding a rental home for us. Then me and oldest son will travel out later once house sale and paperwork etc is complete.

It will be a wrench, but we have decided that for us it is the best thing to do, there is so much to cancel etc over here, that we have decided that i can resolve most of it better from UK than Canada. We will be staying in a holiday home here near by our house which is hoping to complete in the next month .

We are looking at it alll as an adventure and start of new life, but we think we can manage it as a famaily (as said before it all depends on your own personalities and feelings about a seperation)

P.S We are heading to Nanaimo on VI.
Hope it works out for you.

Cdnshaz

Personally I would go out alone and get foot in door and find accomodation and school then fly out family
My husband and I have been separated for 6 months at a time, we survived, you have to trust one another that the right decisions are made in absence of the other. Why tear kids out of school until one can be found? You could find some accom before going by looking online, once found then find out what schools in area..maybe if you are lucky it will be set before you get there. Once you have roof over head the rest will fall into place.

purple80

I think it very much depends on you as a couple, and as a family. How hard is it going to be for you to find a job, how old are the children?

My OH flew out six months prior to us joining him, it meant that he could really settle into his new job, without the pressure of worrying about us. For him it worked, for me it was hard, missing him and having to sell the house, get the shipping container sent.

Coping with three children who were missing their father was also hard, I flew out half way through, and visited the house the OH had rented, and sorted schools for the children.

I hated the fact that we were apart and would never want to do it again, but it did work out for the best.

I think going with your gut instinct and being open and honest with each other is most important thing.

Falcore

We have talked about this too and for us there is no question of not going together. Though having said that we don't have kids to think about.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do, i'm sure it will be right for your family

Hollis Family

Hi Mark

Its a difficult one! We came over separately, my OH came over 8 weeks before me and our two boys to start work. I stayed back to sell our house and for our eldest son to sit his exams in Scotland.

My OH travelled back for 4 days and then he was with us when we all landed so although he had already officially landed it felt like we were landing as a family. It was great for him to be there for the emotional support when we said our final goodbyes to family and friends.

Don't get me wrong the 8 weeks were difficult but doing it this way catered for all our needs. It didn't cause us any problems as a couple/family I think it just brought us closer together and ultimately it meant we could realise our dream with minimal disruption for the kids.

Hope this helps!

Michelle

Alberta_Rose

Nope, the principal applicant must land first though .... the others can land with them or later .....