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just needed to share....

just needed to share....

Old Apr 1st 2011, 8:54 am
  #1  
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Default just needed to share....

It seems that (for me anyway) every time things just start to get going, something comes along to put a spanner in the works. Flying out to Vancouver first week July but now feeling very guilty/panic struck as in the last month my mother has been admitted to a dementia assessment unit, my son has a mysterious and debilitating illness (being seen in hosp next week) and last night my father was taken into hospital with breathing difficulties. I feel at the moment like someone is trying to tell me something!

Has anyone else ever had this kind of thing happen at near to flying out time? I feel really guilty about leaving my siblings with this. Not happy today, not at all...
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Old Apr 1st 2011, 9:38 am
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Default Re: just needed to share....

Originally Posted by Dotty P
It seems that (for me anyway) every time things just start to get going, something comes along to put a spanner in the works. Flying out to Vancouver first week July but now feeling very guilty/panic struck as in the last month my mother has been admitted to a dementia assessment unit, my son has a mysterious and debilitating illness (being seen in hosp next week) and last night my father was taken into hospital with breathing difficulties. I feel at the moment like someone is trying to tell me something!

Has anyone else ever had this kind of thing happen at near to flying out time? I feel really guilty about leaving my siblings with this. Not happy today, not at all...
Sorry to hear that things aren't going well in your family at present. I have some understanding of how you probaly feel, as three months after I arrived in NS my daughter, in Engand, was diagnosed with Chronic Myeloid Leukaemia. It was devastating news and, if it had happened before I left, I would have stayed in the UK until I knew she was stable and on the right course. (She is married with a family). Your situation, I know, is different from mine and I'm not trying to give you any advice; just trying to offer some support and understanding. It's a little while yet until you fly out and by then you'll have a clearer picture of how things are with your family. Don't be hard on yourself. I hope things work out for you and that today improves for you.Take care.
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Old Apr 1st 2011, 11:59 am
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Default Re: just needed to share....

I am so sorry you have having to undergo all this stress and worry at a time that would otherwise be full of excitement. We don't have our visas yet but the process so far has certainly felt as though there has been something standing on our way at ever part of the process. When we first decided to move to Canada, we took the FSW eligibility points test. It turned out my husband who is a restaurant manager had a skill deemed to be in demand but not enough points whereas I on the other hand had more than enough points but not a job that was on "the list" so I needed a job offer first. Then we tried applying for jobs from the UK and it never took off. Then we found out about the Community Identified Stream since it was Nova Scotia we were looking to move to and on the day of our reccie we turned up at the airport to find our flight had been cancelled because of the volcanic ash! With a bit of begging and pleading we were put on a different flight via Boston but caught the flight by the skin of our teeth because of all the queueing and form filling to get us on it Now we are waiting for medicals and it's been 6 months without hearing a word back from CIC. We are also in the process of putting our house on the market but have been told the market is still very slow and that we may have to drop the price of our house considerably for it to sell quickly. On top of that we planned on having th outside of the house painted this weekend before putting up for sale and sods law that this weekend is the start of the many April showers that are predicted to come. This certainly hasn't been a smooth ride so far But hey, I keep telling myself that what doesn't kill us and all........

I know none of these things are as terrible as having sick family members but just wanted you to know you are not alone on the bumpy ride that is immigration
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Old Apr 1st 2011, 2:12 pm
  #4  
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Default Re: just needed to share....

Originally Posted by NoreenC
Sorry to hear that things aren't going well in your family at present. I have some understanding of how you probaly feel, as three months after I arrived in NS my daughter, in Engand, was diagnosed with Chronic Myeloid Leukaemia. It was devastating news and, if it had happened before I left, I would have stayed in the UK until I knew she was stable and on the right course. (She is married with a family). Your situation, I know, is different from mine and I'm not trying to give you any advice; just trying to offer some support and understanding. It's a little while yet until you fly out and by then you'll have a clearer picture of how things are with your family. Don't be hard on yourself. I hope things work out for you and that today improves for you.Take care.
Hi NoreenC and thanks so much for your warm reply. You poor thing, you must have been so worried! Is your daughter on the mend now?

Like you say, July is a couple of months away and anything could happen by then (hopefully in a more positive light) but this morning I really felt like we should give up on this idea and felt terribly selfish at leaving aging and poorly parents behind whilst taking our son who is feeling so dreadful. Hopefully they will diagnose my son with something that's easy to deal with. On that note, I guess medication will have to be paid for in BC? Does anyone have an idea of how it works there please? I'm guessing for the first three months at least we'll be on our own but I thought I'd read on BE that drugs have to be paid for anyway. Maybe somebody could put me right on that please?

We're mid-afternoon now and I'm feeling a bit brighter. I'm not usually one to be morose and have been so excited (and nervous!) about the impending move but now just feel very selfish and guilty. Life's a funny old thing eh?

Best wishes to you and I hope your daughter will be 100% soon!

Take best care
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Old Apr 1st 2011, 2:22 pm
  #5  
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Default Re: just needed to share....

Originally Posted by engineer80
I am so sorry you have having to undergo all this stress and worry at a time that would otherwise be full of excitement. We don't have our visas yet but the process so far has certainly felt as though there has been something standing on our way at ever part of the process. When we first decided to move to Canada, we took the FSW eligibility points test. It turned out my husband who is a restaurant manager had a skill deemed to be in demand but not enough points whereas I on the other hand had more than enough points but not a job that was on "the list" so I needed a job offer first. Then we tried applying for jobs from the UK and it never took off. Then we found out about the Community Identified Stream since it was Nova Scotia we were looking to move to and on the day of our reccie we turned up at the airport to find our flight had been cancelled because of the volcanic ash! With a bit of begging and pleading we were put on a different flight via Boston but caught the flight by the skin of our teeth because of all the queueing and form filling to get us on it Now we are waiting for medicals and it's been 6 months without hearing a word back from CIC. We are also in the process of putting our house on the market but have been told the market is still very slow and that we may have to drop the price of our house considerably for it to sell quickly. On top of that we planned on having th outside of the house painted this weekend before putting up for sale and sods law that this weekend is the start of the many April showers that are predicted to come. This certainly hasn't been a smooth ride so far But hey, I keep telling myself that what doesn't kill us and all........

I know none of these things are as terrible as having sick family members but just wanted you to know you are not alone on the bumpy ride that is immigration
Oh you poor things....seems you really have been on a roller coaster ride from hell! Seems it's not just me who feels there's a dark cloud hovering above at times!! I'm sure it will all be worth it for you though - Nova Scotia is a beautiful part of the country; I particularly LOVE the style of housing they have there...it's all so pretty (and affordable!).

We started our process in 2007 (flipping ages ago) when the exchange rate was 2.20, house prices were booming here and stable in Canada, our lives then were certainly not as nice as they are now (typical!) so it seems we're heading out at completely the wrong time in every sense. But, I am an optimistic person (I worry a lot though but luckily I like smiling so that helps!) so my theory is (and I'm trying to believe in it) if you start with everything being at its lowest point, then it can only get better (can't it ).

I hope it all works out for you. The sun is shining here in Hampshire at last after a drizzly morning so hopefully it'll do the same for you and you can get your house painted!

Thanks again and warmest wishes for your future in Canada!

DP
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Old Apr 1st 2011, 2:30 pm
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Default Re: just needed to share....

I am sorry to hear all your worrying news.
We found out 7 weeks before we were to emigrate here, that my dear MIL had leukaemia. We were all positive, including the doctors and so we continued on our plans with the view to heading back to see her in a few months when she was well, and then we hoped they would come for a restful holiday once she was fully well.
She was doing ok, until the day we were about to fly out, in fact our bags were on the plane and we were about to say goodbye to my family.
We got the call that we had never expected from the hospital, to get there as soon as possible, and we had to drop everything, leave my sister at the airport to get our bags back, and head to the hospital a couple of hundred miles away.
Sadly a week later she passed away. My cat was already over here, we had packed in our jobs, rented out our home and decided we still had to make the move. It was very hard leaving family behind (obviously we departed a few weeks after the date planned) but it still worked out for us.
The only other negative for us was the appalling way Canadian Affair treated us, but thats a whole other story.

Good luck with your plans, July is still a few months away and I have everything crossed for you that everyone is better by then, and you can make your trip across with little worry.
Keep us posted
Kind regards
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Old Apr 1st 2011, 3:00 pm
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Default Re: just needed to share....

Originally Posted by LucyLovelock
I am sorry to hear all your worrying news.
We found out 7 weeks before we were to emigrate here, that my dear MIL had leukaemia. We were all positive, including the doctors and so we continued on our plans with the view to heading back to see her in a few months when she was well, and then we hoped they would come for a restful holiday once she was fully well.
She was doing ok, until the day we were about to fly out, in fact our bags were on the plane and we were about to say goodbye to my family.
We got the call that we had never expected from the hospital, to get there as soon as possible, and we had to drop everything, leave my sister at the airport to get our bags back, and head to the hospital a couple of hundred miles away.
Sadly a week later she passed away. My cat was already over here, we had packed in our jobs, rented out our home and decided we still had to make the move. It was very hard leaving family behind (obviously we departed a few weeks after the date planned) but it still worked out for us.
The only other negative for us was the appalling way Canadian Affair treated us, but thats a whole other story.

Good luck with your plans, July is still a few months away and I have everything crossed for you that everyone is better by then, and you can make your trip across with little worry.
Keep us posted
Kind regards
Oh sorry LucyLoveLock.....goodness, you must have all been fraught with it all. Seems these things are sent at times when we're least able to be fully focused on things! Maybe it's sent to make us stronger, who knows (although my other half would say that's tripe, it's just the way life is ). He's usually right though....

I guess I hate leaving my siblings to deal with it, that weighs heavy on me right now. Sometimes I wonder how I can leave them all! Blimey, this emigrating lark is a game, right?!

Thanks for your wishes, like you say, July's a way off yet although fast approaching. I'm keeping everything crossed that we'll be a little more settled with everyone by then!

Would love to know your Canadian Affair plight though as we're going with them
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Old Apr 1st 2011, 7:03 pm
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Default Re: just needed to share....

Originally Posted by Dotty P
I hope it all works out for you. The sun is shining here in Hampshire at last after a drizzly morning so hopefully it'll do the same for you and you can get your house painted!
Thank you It was dry for the second half of the day today so I am hoping it'll stay that way Best of luck with your move and hope everything comes together for you
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Old Apr 1st 2011, 7:14 pm
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Default Re: just needed to share....

Originally Posted by Dotty P
I guess I hate leaving my siblings to deal with it, that weighs heavy on me right now. Sometimes I wonder how I can leave them all! Blimey, this emigrating lark is a game, right?!
I know what you mean there. My Dad passed away 7 years ago and I still worry about my mum. I have two younger sisters and a younger brother all either working now or at university. One of my sisters still stays at home but she has had to work away these past couple of months leaving my mum by herself for the first time in years. I know it sounds silly, but I always felt guilty for having my own family and life after my dad died. I also felt (as I still do) that I should have been doing more to help out financially or simply be there more for support. I see my sister doing this and wonder if she thinks the same but then my husband reminds me that she doesn't have a mortgage to pay like we do or bills etc. She gives a little to my mum in rent but it's nowhere near as much as if she were having to support herself. I also phone my mum everyday, worried that she's getting lonely by herself and worry if I call at night and she isn't home (perhaps karma for when my parents used to do the same with me ). Moving to Canada will feel a lot like I am leaving my siblings to deal with things but the way you have to look at it is nothing is forever and if it turns out you are needed back home in the future, you are free to come back and forth as you please. You have the right to live your life and you sound like a very caring daughter who will know what to do in the future if your siblings need your help taking care of your parents
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Old Apr 1st 2011, 8:08 pm
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Default Re: just needed to share....

Originally Posted by engineer80
I know what you mean there? My Dad passed away 7 years ago and I still worry about my mum. I have two younger sisters and a younger brother all either working now or at university. One of my sisters still stays at home but she has had to work away these past couple of months leaving my mum by herself for the first time in years. I know it sounds silly, but I always felt guilty for having my own family and life after my dad died. I also felt (as I still do) that I should have been doing more to help out financially or simply be there more for support. I see my sister doing this and wonder if she thinks the same but then my husband reminds me that she doesn't have a mortgage to pay like we do or bills etc. She gives a little to my mum in rent but it's nowhere near as much as if she were having to support herself. I also phone my mum everyday, worried that she's getting lonely by herself and worry if I call at night and she isn't home (perhaps karma for when my parents used to do the same with me ). Moving to Canada will feel a lot like I am leaving my siblings to deal with things but the way you have to look at it is nothing is forever and if it turns out you are needed back home in the future, you are free to come back and forth as you please. You have the right to live your life and you sound like a very caring daughter who will know what to do in the future if your siblings need your help taking care of your parents
It's hard, isn't it? I've been told many a time that if you wait for everything to be going smoothly, you'll never go. There will always be a little (or large) something to put a spanner in the works. However, just when Mum and Dad need me, I'm off to 'live the dream'. How selfish is that?! I like to think I am a very caring person, in fact sometimes it's my downfall. I wish I could just jet off with them in tow and be able afford a nice home with a granny annex. That would be my dream. But like you say, it's a good idea to have a contingency budget for flights home when you're needed.

I thank you for your kind and reassuring words, it's really helped
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Old Apr 1st 2011, 9:04 pm
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Default Re: just needed to share....

Originally Posted by Dotty P
It's hard, isn't it? I've been told many a time that if you wait for everything to be going smoothly, you'll never go. There will always be a little (or large) something to put a spanner in the works. However, just when Mum and Dad need me, I'm off to 'live the dream'. How selfish is that?! I like to think I am a very caring person, in fact sometimes it's my downfall. I wish I could just jet off with them in tow and be able afford a nice home with a granny annex. That would be my dream. But like you say, it's a good idea to have a contingency budget for flights home when you're needed.

I thank you for your kind and reassuring words, it's really helped
Is it possible, with all these complications, to fulfill your dream a little closer than Canada? Dorset can be very pleasant.
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Old Apr 1st 2011, 9:31 pm
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Originally Posted by Oink
Is it possible, with all these complications, to fulfill your dream a little closer than Canada? Dorset can be very pleasant.
PR already in place, seems a shame to waste it....plus the whole of England wants to move to Devon and I reckon it won't be long before it's not the perfect little idyll it is today.....but I take your point though.
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Old Apr 5th 2011, 7:57 pm
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Originally Posted by Oink
Is it possible, with all these complications, to fulfill your dream a little closer than Canada? Dorset can be very pleasant.
Yes but have you seen the property prices in Dorset? We live near Cerne Abbas (rented) and to buy a tiny 3 bed cottage (2 beds and a cupboard) is at least £250,000
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Old Apr 5th 2011, 9:35 pm
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Originally Posted by fuzzbottle
Yes but have you seen the property prices in Dorset? We live near Cerne Abbas (rented) and to buy a tiny 3 bed cottage (2 beds and a cupboard) is at least £250,000
If only they were that cheap here. Two bed condo, is $750,000 and upwards, plus maintenance fee.
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Old Apr 5th 2011, 10:26 pm
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Originally Posted by Oink
If only they were that cheap here. Two bed condo, is $750,000 and upwards, plus maintenance fee.
That condo probably has latte and cappuccino within spitting distance...I live 10 miles from the nearest supermarket and what some people call civilisation.. I know in the Digby area I can buy a house for $100,000 Canadian which I could only dream about here.
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