Tumbling_Dice

I think reviewing the reasons for leaving the UK and moving to Canada, which were presumably made in a less emotionally charged atmosphere, may provide some comfort and stability. I guess you just have to trust yourselves that your reasoning and planning are sound and accept the reality that moving house, let alone country, is one of life's most stressful experiences. That is a reality that one almost needs to accept and just continue breathing. Sounds like you have done careful planning and certainly taken time to structure the move - trust that.

One thing I will add is that, once you get here, you may need to lean into your reasons for coming whilst you take the time to get up and running. It may take time to unearth the opportunities that put you back at the level you left, so you need to prepare for that and, again, just accept it.

I say all this as somebody who did not plan as much or as well as you, and had to take some time off work in order to really work through things. I am coming out the other side in a much better place but I would again encourage you to trust yourselves, your reasons and your careful planning.

MelVan

My own experience on the real estate front was it turned out far better that we waited until we landed in Vancouver before settling on a rental property. We did a lot of real estate searching before the move, and it was mostly in vain. What we did learn from pre-arrival searching was:

1. what the market was generally like;

2. what the typical housing stock was like;

3. what the prices were like;

4. what was available in which neighbourhoods.

We entered into negotiations with one landlord before we arrived and thank goodness we didn't proceed with that. We ended with far better housing for close to the same money in what turned out to be a far better location.

It's a big deal moving countries. There will be challenges in the early days getting used to the way things are done here. But it is a great adventure to move countries and facing the challenges with that sense of adventure first and foremost will hopefully provide some inspiration and energy for you in tackling the move. Good luck!

Winterdiva

Thanks so much for being so kind! Unfortunately, I am not a programmer

Winterdiva

Hi MelVan, Thanks for sharing your experiences.

How did you find this new place? Internet sources like Kijiji/agents or just driving around?

Thank you

Winterdiva

Reasons for leaving the UK are clear and strong. When I get worked up and super stressed, I just want to stay back. Within minutes, I know we have to leave. Absolutely sure about that. We did a lot of planning, budgeting and saving. Everything is in a spreadsheet (that has now evolved into a financial model. I can tweak things like exchange rate and figures all automatically update). My pain points are employment and kids I guess. No amount of worrying can help this. I just have to learn to breathe and give it time.

Winterdiva

I'm definitely dreading the move. It's not about Canada I guess. Its the mental load of getting rid of all our belongings and moving with just suitcases (we are shipping stuff, but not much). Leaving friends, familiar surroundings, the guilt of taking kids away from their own little bubble. It's like a tornado hitting you - in slow motion.

Winterdiva

Thanks a lot for sharing this. How did you find your rental? Did you have jobs before you landed? Please could you tell me more about your move?

Siouxie

Your apparent reason for coming to Canada concern me - it sounds as if you are not running TO a place you have always wanted to live, and yearn for...... you are running away from (leaving) the place you no longer feel is right for you... "we have to leave" --- You may struggle to adapt and settle unless Canada is a place you have wanted to live; it's not as if you are moving because you love Canada so much and want to live here... or because you have amazing job offers etc., that you are moving for... so do have a good hard think about why you are moving to Canada - and could those needs be met (the 'escape') by moving to a different part of the UK? Try not to get overwhelmed... but if you are having serious doubts then perhaps emigrating to Canada isn't for you.... or perhaps the time isn't right.. What are the reasons for moving to Canada? My old Dad had a saying which rang very true for me...... "when in doubt, don't"

Perhaps have a read of the wiki about the psychology of relocating: https://britishexpats.com/wiki/Psych...ocation-Canada and culture shock once you have.. https://britishexpats.com/wiki/Culture_Shock-Canada and

You don't have to leave all your worldly goods behind.. in fact bringing memory pieces, favourite items etc., is what will help you feel more at home.

Hurlabrick

I would agree with Siouxie here.

You are using words like 'hate' and 'dread'. While it is normal to have a few doubts leading up to the move, those are not the kind of words that I would associate with 'a few doubts'. If you go through with the move, with your outlook, you will spot all the negatives and ignore the positives - i.e. you will hardly be objective about your new country. Even for people that have a strong desire to move to Canada, it can be hard to settle. It won't take you long to decide your fears were right, especially in the first year when there are loads of things to do and everything is strange and different.

The quickest I have seen anyone on this forum bounce back to the UK after having gone to all the trouble of gaining PR was just under one month IIRC. There was also a recent thread on this forum from someone who is yearning to return to the UK, but the OH has said that they are staying in Canada - what wins out, the marriage or the country.



It sounds like your OH is extremely keen to move to Canada and you are pretty keen not to.

CanadaJimmy

To be fair a factor of why I left the UK was because I disliked living there. I think not being happy in your home country is very common for immigrants. I had a few places I was considering but Canada (or rather, Vancouver specifically) checked all the boxes for me. I'm sure Winterdiva has legit reasons for picking Toronto, or at least I hope she does!

But that is a fair point that hating/dreading shouldn't really be too severe. I remember I was scared of the move, but I was also incredibly excited for it. If there's zero excitement then that is cause for concern.

I agree you should bring some things with you. I was very fortunate that I had my parents store some of my old belongings and ship them to me and it was a really wonderful feeling seeing them again. Although material items shouldn't matter it can feel like something is missing if you don't have something to connect you to your old life.

MelVan

Pre-move, we spent a lot of time searching the various internet sources such as Craigslist and Facebook Marketplace, and had our sister-in-law (who lives in Vancouver) do some inspections for us. Once we arrived we started doing the inspections ourselves. We applied for one apartment in the building we're in, and were rejected (!!!), but then we did some searching for other apartments in the same building and found our new Vancouver home pretty quickly after that. There was quite a bit of serendipity in how it happened - we thought the place we were rejected for was pretty good, but the one we eventually took has turned out to be far better - in fact, almost perfect for us.

Shard

What are these reasons ?

Lychee

Well said.

Lychee

Exactly.

Also, why Canada? Why specifically Waterloo? What are you expecting to find that you won't find in the UK?

Winterdiva

We are moving out of the UK and Canada seems to be our best option. I can’t write here about our reasons for choosing Canada as they are very specific and hence potentially identifying. However, we chose Waterloo area due to availability of local tech jobs.