I can't sleep!!
 

Okay.
Its 3.30 o'clock in the morning and I have a bad case of insomnia so I thought I would share my thoughts with everyone!
Me, hubby and three kids landed here on May 2nd (Whitby). Hubby came over in March to start work, left me to sell the house - thanks mate.. thats one I owe you!!! Had been to Canada plenty of times before and loved it. Totally 'hacked' off with the UK for various reasons which I won't go into. Decided that Canada would offer us so much more as a family - not just a bigger house - as I pointed out to the sceptics back home.
So I have been here 4+ months now and how do I feel? Well for a start I was desperately lonely. As a mum I was stuck at home all day (6yr old dropped back to kindergarten so 3 hrs per day, that was a bummer!). The Canadians are so very welcoming and friendly but SO different to what I am used to. My neighbours bought me a marrow when we moved in).
No retail therapy, no nights out with the 'girls', etc.etc.If you are married and over 35, forget ever having a social life of your own 'cos its not gonna happen! Meals out with the hubby.... all the restaurants here shut at 9pm - wot!! Forget trying to buy trendy clothes ( I miss Primark - sorry), the order of the day is shorts,ankle socks, trainers etc. I bought over tons of stuff from the UK which I will never wear again. Comfort seems to be the thing here. Went shopping today in a long skirt and a pair of cowboy boots and got stared at, probably would of done in the UK but what the hell!!!
Fourteen year old son has suddenly become a 'babe magnet' because of his accent. He was the reason that we came over here on a work permit to run along side the PR application. He loves it and doesn't want to go 'home'. I also have a 6 and 7 year old, they both have Canadian accents now which is pretty off-putting. The kids have so much more freedom, there is a huge park less than 300 yds from our house, we have a pool in the garden (sorry,back yard) I don't worry where they are any more and would never of let them play out in London unsupervised... if ever. All in all, life is pretty peachy for the kids.
As for us, hubby is working silly hours, 7.30 until 5.00, in downtown Toronto, has to leave at 6.30am and just about gets there on time. Gets home at 6.30pm due to the traffic on the 401.
Everything seems very cheap when you 1st come over here but in reality its not. Yes the petrol (gas) is only 80c per ltr which works out to about 40p but all the cars are 3 litre plus so you are putting in twice as much. The car insurance is astronmical, your no-claims bonus from the UK means 'diddly squat' here.The groceries are expensive and I go to the "kwik save' of Canada! For a family of 5, I spend on average $220 excl. + all the extras I run out of during the week. Much the same as I did in Tesco. Electricity prices are pretty steep and I have yet to spend a winter over here, so can't comment on the gas prices.
All in all, apart from property and car prices, Canada is pretty much the same as it is in the UK. Note that I come from the London area though so I guess a bit more dearer. I would say that all in all, Canadian prices are slightly less than UK prices, but you earn a lot less over here. Hubby cleared 950 pounds (sorry no pound sign on this keyboard) in the UK per week but over here he barely clears $1300....about 3/4 of what he earned in England.
I don't want to 'burst you bubble', but think seriously about the financial implications of your decisions, you might be better off where you are. If you want to be in the same position as you are now financially but just want to feel that you have done the best for your kids then by all means come on over but its not the financial utopia than everyone thinks.
Yes, the UK housing market has made things very easy for us to emigrate wherever we want, but at the end of the day we have to live in that country and pay their prices ,for whatever, out of the wages that country pays.
I don't regret coming over here, especially when I see how much freedom my kids have. I have an enormous house that I would never be able to afford in London but it has come at a price.
I spend my days cooking, cleaning,gardening (yeah right).I am bored shitless. I have been here 4 + months and have only just made some friends.(all British may I add). Mums, beware!!! Its hard.... if you are not an outgoing sort of person then you are going to be very lonely. You have to approach people in the supermarkets/along streets/at the school etc. or you are going to be feeling very isolated. 'Hi, your're not Canadian, where are you originally from".....etc.etc .
Please feel free to e-mail me or reply to this thread if you want to know a bit more about my life in Canada.
I'm going to bed!
Sam

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

Welcome to my life when I landed in 1996. Nothing changes - yes living here compared to London is great for the kids if you like the limitations that come with it, but kids do leave home eventually....and then what are you faced with, scrap booking??? :scared:

PS the £ sign is ALT key 156

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

Thanks for replying, I thought that everyone else was asleep and my 'moan' would get lost.I don't do 'scrap booking' most definately. I am going to sound like an 'alcho' here, but what is it socialising here.When we were in London we did'nt go out until 9pm, a drink, then a meal, went home about 1am. This is Hickvilles!!! HELP...!

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

tried it, it don't work.

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

Use the numeric pad with numlock enabled. That should do it. Numbers across the top don't usually do it....not sure why though.

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

Hi Dingbat!!
Where abouts in London are you from ...I bet its a 'posh' bit. Me and the other significant one (?) are from Stratford, East London. Home of the asylam seekers and other peoples!

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

Me either! :o

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

Come on.... you can't all be asleep!
I'm in the mood for a natter!!

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

Although I am still in the UK (but moving soon) I think you have hit the 'slump' when everything starts to settle down after what must have been months of running around like a maniac, stressed up to the eyeballs :eek:

It's mum's job to make sure her family are all settled, and now the kids are at school and have made new friends, hubby into the routine of working/commuting, your suddenly left doing the washing, ironing etc and have no outside life :confused: . Its now time to concentrate on your own quality time. You will have to get networking to get friends. I don't expect it will be easy (I am a bit of a yap, so hopefully that will help me). You can try inviting some of your kids friends over for tea, meet their parents, then perhaps throw a BBQ to say hello to everyone.

Definitely get a girls shopping trip into Toronto organised to help save your sanity. :D

Look in the local newpaper and see if there are any events coming up that your family would enjoy, ask at the kids schools if they need a voluteer to help out with any forthcoming event.

I intend to join a gym, not that I am soooo into it but I go to one here a couple of times a week and you soon getting chatting to other people there.

I have been joking with people that I may land up in Tim Horton's with my coffee and a pile of timbits looking around desperately asking 'Will somebody be my friend' :o

Over the next few month's I am sure things will start changing for you. Hate to say this but its the run up to Christmas and there is always lots going on. Maybe those scrapbookers would jump at the chance of a girls night out/in with some good food and nice wine - you may be surprised at how much fun they can really be ;)

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

Okay Willmore,
Theres obviously someone else in this country that is still alive!!
Tell me a bit about yourself seeing as we are the only people awake now!!

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

I am wide awake...its 9:49am and I'm writing some lovely VB.NET code and working on SQL Server 2005. Its doing its best to send me to sleep though. :zzz:

Sorry about your situation. We moved from the Midlands to rural Scotland to "get away from it all". We're now back in the Midlands as we thought it was best when our daughter was born so she could see family and they could easily see her. We really miss the rural lifestyle and simpler things though. We sold a listed lodge there and I think about it all the time. We had a huge garden, woodland, paddocks. Now we've literally got a backgarden which is about 40ft by 40ft!

We are hoping to move to NB. I don't think there is a perfect place to live for me, I certainly would always want X from there, Y from somewhere else etc. All in all, from what we've seen and things we like, I think NB will be good for us.

CB

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

They don't do 'girls nights out' over here (floosies).Scrapbooking is for the over 50's, the local gyms are full of people who don't need to go to the gym, the "mums" groups are patronising.......ooh!eer! Not good!
Sam x

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

Good grief girl, what are you doing up at this time. I'm only up as I'm saving lives!!! Are you coming over on monday? Think we need a few bottles of something strong!! Better get back to work as don't want to be on the end of a malpractice suit!!

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

Start a new trend then - cowboy boots with skirts 'Girls Nights Out'...... bet they are desperate for it :p

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

GOOD GOD, YOU HAVE JUST SPENT THE NIGHT SAVING LIVES AND NOW YOU ARE ON THE INTERNET. OKAY I AM A SAD BITCH WHO CAN'T SLEEP AND STILL ON THE 'NET AT 5.15AM. TOO MANY BEERS AND FEELING BADLY HOPESICK. FEELING PRETTY CRAP AS USUAL, GET LIKE THIS MOST NIGHTS. STILL IN THAT 6 MONTH PERIOD YOU MENTIONED.WANT TO GO HOME, AND BADLY HOMESICK. GONNA GO TO BED B4 STU WAKES UP AND GETS THE UP.
RING ME TOMORROW PLS.
SAM XX :-)

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

Sorry to hear that you’re having a hard time…Sam

I feel I’m going to have the opposite problem to you; the reason being is that Husbands family is out there, His Uncle and Aunty had 10 kids; those ten kids are now married and have children themselves, so we have a very large family group eager to help us out when we land… I am feeling that we may never get time to do anything ourselves, don’t get me wrong will love it but think I might be a bit smothered.

We are moving out to the Whitby area, so when we get out there (looking at flights in Dec/Jan) I will give you a shout and we can go on a girls night out, Gail is also in the next town out so we can all go for a GIRLS night out….

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

Most definately, Gail is great!
Feeling much more optimisitic this morning, apart from one mother of a hangover!

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

Hi Sam, I hit the same slump as you at about 4 months - sleepless nights, wandering around the shops during the day looking at all the old ladies stuff - I made my hubby promise never to let me buy a co-ordinating 'pant suit' - you know the ones in old granny blue with the flowery tops? Sears seem to specialise in 'em! As does Wal-mart and Zellers. Strangely enough my slump was when I found 'you lot' and realised I could use the lap top as a very expensive radio and listen to Steve wright in the afternoon. Listening to all the traffic hold ups and the weather did not make me feel homesick AT ALL! My hubby got worried I was going to go back, I was sure we were doing the right thing and although I kept telling him I was staying he didn't really believe me. I promised him at least one full year to make a go of it - that made him happier. We have now moved to a smaller house (the other one was just too big - I think we bought the biggest we could find, just because we could :rolleyes: ). I have also got a work permit and an okay job to get me out ad meeting people. I never had much of a network in the uk as past experiences have taught me to rely on myself as others let you down. Our marriage did hit a rocky road - only to be expected I think but we are stonger than ever now. Our daughter is lovin' it although she did have a huge homesick attack 2 weeks ago, it came from nowhere - I think hormones are just starting to kick in (11 years old) She tried to extract a promise for a UK holiday - got her on the blower to Nanny and Grandad and Aunty Chrissie and she's okay now, looking forward to their visits.

We have been here 15 months or so and really don't regret a thing. So hang in there, give it a chance, I remember moving towns in the UK and it took ages to settle in then, so a new culture is going to take time and it never ceases to amaze me at how many differences their are in the language and customs.

Good luck and very best wishes, I am sending you some karma - just think you can build a snowman soon!

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

Sorry about disappearing. Went back to bed to try and sleep. Morning comes to early with two small kids.

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

Sorry you are feeling down Sam.
Its still early days for you I am sure things will improve.
Hope the hangover isn't to bad. Take a couple of ibuprofen and have a nap.
Sending you a hug :)

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

In my gym everyone wears earphones plugged into TV's so no socialising there and the music for the aerobics is really low...no adrenaline going on :D I cant tell you how many offers I've dodged to join craft classes...I'm only 34 for god sake!

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

Hello Sam,

I have sent you a PM. Hope your feeling better today - despite the hangover!!!

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

Hi,

Sorry you feel a little low but your post is full of positives!? From reading your post I think you should start to try and stop comparing with the UK. This is easier said than done, especially in the early days. The fact your OH earns less than the UK has no bearing on your standard and quality of life here. Why dont you try and look for some voluntary work if your bored. This is a good way to keep entertained and to meet people. It does take time to make friends but you must keep trying and dont expect them to come to you. We have a lot more friends here than we ever did in the UK but we made a conscious effort to force ourselves on people!

Best of luck

SAW 04

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

Hiya,
Same shit - different day/month/year!!
Actually things are pretty good now, been here 14 months. Have lots of loopy mates from the UK - Welsh/Scousers/Scots - how weird is that??!! Looking back at my old threads.Thanks for your 'karma' months ago - sad thing is that I am still sitting here extremely drunk at 4 o'clock in the morning. BTW the kids still love it and they now have Canadian accents and I haven't taken up scrapbooking yet. I would rather have my nails pulled by a sharp implement!!!!
Is there a cure for that!! xxx
SamX (in Whitby)
:huh:

Re: I can't sleep!!
 

Now, I've read it somewhere on here before that those from the south of the UK find it harder to adjust to Canadian life than those of us from the north.

The north of the UK, whilst still great for shopping, night life etc etc is still far more subdued and relaxed than the south. Could this be why?

I mean, I'm looking out of the window in rural Lancs at not a lot apart from fields, flowers, grass and sky. Pretty much what I'll see in rural NS when we eventually get there I imagine, so not much adjusting required there. I see my friends rarely (we're mutually quite sparse with our get togethers, we're all very independant and don't need to live in each others pockets - we appreciate each other more) and I'm at home with a 2 year old.

Enjoy the time to yourself, there may be a time in your life when you look back and wish you had taken the time to enjoy it.

Anyone else any thoughts of the geographical origin of those who find it hard/easy to settle? Or is it just who and how you are?:o