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-   -   How many divorces has Canada caused? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/canada-56/how-many-divorces-has-canada-caused-931568/)

no good name Mar 6th 2020 10:49 pm

How many divorces has Canada caused?
 
Any experiences from anyone?

Couples / families that have moved to Canada and due to factors such as one person not settling / not happy, stress of it all etc, caused the relationship to end...…

Or

Did you manage to work something out, a compromise, some degree of middle ground and settlement that helped you get through it?

Anyone on here ever returned back to the UK with the other half and children staying in Canada?..... :unsure:



Piff Poff Mar 7th 2020 2:39 am

Re: How many divorces has Canada caused?
 
Offhand, I know 4 couples who split, with one half moving back or to a different place. People I've actually met. OH and I have had some tough times, but we have worked through things. You only have your partner to rely on, he is the only one who knows and understands. You MUST trust each other, talk to each other and listen to each other and be prepared to make compromises.

Stumpylegs Mar 7th 2020 9:34 pm

Re: How many divorces has Canada caused?
 
I'm in the process of moving and it is without a doubt putting a stress on our relationship, however I don't necessary feel it's the country doing so, we both ultimately want the same thing. I just think any change from the routine you're accustomed to causes extra stress whether that be relocation to a new country, moving across town or just painting your kitchen. The difference being with such a big move geographically there is often multiple moves before settling fully etc.

Of those I know personally 1 has split up and moved back here (UK), the 2 other couples I know are over there and appear to be loving life.

I think the other part is, whilst 1 person doesn't settle/doesn't like it/ wants to move on - is that the location, or the person they are with, or just who they are as a person, there is plenty of people I know who are just never satisfied (and not in a good way of constantly wanting better) and they always believe the next move will make them happy - I've got a friend who has gone from small country town UK > Manchester> London>Ibiza>Australia>Thailand>Canada>Vietnam (with several cities in some of the countries) and is constantly of the mindset "it's crap here, I can't wait to move to XXX then everything will be sorted".

cheeky_monkey Mar 9th 2020 1:54 pm

Re: How many divorces has Canada caused?
 
me unfortunately...now divorced with half the family living in Canada with me, half living with my wife in the UK

MillieF Mar 10th 2020 12:09 am

Re: How many divorces has Canada caused?
 
Lots on here will have seen this...and wisely decided not to bite! So here goes nothing...there is absolutely nothing wrong with Canada...I feel certain...but...by the time you have decided there’s something wrong with ‘you’...where you presently are...you are probably right!

Because you have a dodgy relationship it is not a good idea to a) have a child, b) move house or c) move country...or any of the above. Because we are feeling points a) to c) we feel it would be good to act upon them, which is generally a disaster!

Relationships need more support, not less, and moving here is a bloody minefield...or can be?

no good name Mar 10th 2020 3:21 pm

Re: How many divorces has Canada caused?
 

Originally Posted by cheeky_monkey (Post 12818159)
me unfortunately...now divorced with half the family living in Canada with me, half living with my wife in the UK

Sorry to hear. If not being too nosey, can I ask if was this due to yourself wanting to continue staying in Canada and your other half wishing to return to UK?


cheeky_monkey Mar 10th 2020 5:23 pm

Re: How many divorces has Canada caused?
 

Originally Posted by no good name (Post 12818684)
Sorry to hear. If not being too nosey, can I ask if was this due to yourself wanting to continue staying in Canada and your other half wishing to return to UK?

no family illness on my wife side and her needing to return to the UK to run the family business..it become protracted to the point where she felt being in Canada was not an option for her anymore and me being thinking it would all blow over to the point we ended up living separate lives thousands of mile apart..in hindsight i should have put her needs in front on mine and gone home with her to support her in that time of need..i just started a new job and moved to a new house and that clouded my judgement back then..ultimately i failed as a husband and a father

Brit36 Apr 21st 2020 7:41 pm

Re: How many divorces has Canada caused?
 
Following. I am in a rocky common law relationship and have an 18 month old baby, So i am quite interested in this post. We moved here for my partners career opportunity 5 years ago. After several moves and job changes (by him) i have decided i want to go back to the UK. He is slightly reluctant to move back but said he would. Whether its the relationship or canada or a bit of both i do not know now (the lines have definately blurred) but the past year has been the worst. We called off the engagement pretty much. So possibly a seperation on the horizon but the majority of our relationship has been spent in canada, so whats to say that if we move back to the UK things may look up?
To answer your actual question, i know of 3 british couples over here in ontario. They are always talking about how much of a sh*t hole england is whilst showing us their hot tubs and big houses and cars that they 'could never have afforded in england' .
It depends on your age/generation/upbringing i guess. But most of the British couples and british folk i have met, are still with their british partner, and have managed to settle in around 10 years.

I have given it 6 years in the relationship/in canada and i think it will end up in seperation if we dont move back to the UK. I cant imagine it causing many divorces if you are already married prior to canada move but i think theres a lot of hidden feelings that go unspoken (because canada is supposed to be the dream life) and once you make that move, and tell everyone 'how amazing canadian life is' it seems that divorce and a move back is out of the question. Keeping up appearances. Just my opinion :-)

scilly Apr 21st 2020 8:56 pm

Re: How many divorces has Canada caused?
 
I sometimes wonder when I hear about couples, married or common-law, separating "because of Canada" whether it is due more to one partner being very keen to emigrate and the other just so-and-so, maybe not enough communication before moving, maybe not a sense of adventure. Plus also the already "rocky relationship" mentioned by Millie

BTW ......... you can replace "Canada" with any other country in the world in the above. There are similar threads on most of the other forums on this site.

We've been married for almost 53 years, left the UK 10 days after getting married, and have spent all but the first year in Canada. That first year was in the US.

We'd known each other for almost 8 years, almost entirely as just plain good friends, then he got a temporary position in the US, and we decided to get married, almost literally from one minute to the next.

We treated it as an adventure, then he looked for a job in Canada ...... OK, more adventure. No real decision between us, except he said that I had to be as sure as I could be that I would be happy for at least 2 years where he got the job.

I wasn't very happy in the US, but he did go to 2 interviews in the US, one in rural mid-west and the other in Detroit.

To be perfectly honest, I'm not sure I would have lasted long in either of those places, and he might not either.

Vancouver turned out to be the perfect fit .......... but it was always almost accidental as to how long we would stay. Other positions were offered to him, but were declined.

We didn't even pay much attention to the fact that we were on our own, with no family support at any time, not even when our child was born. We set up our own "family", making great friends along the way. Our first Christmas after we married was with us entertaining 8 other people who were from "foreign lands", only one couple. We had an absolute ball, and repeated that most Christmases and Thanksgivings for over 40 years, sometimes having to move the dining table into the living room so we could fit 12 or 15 people around it.

Never an argument at any of those dinners

TBH ......... I think we both thought we were lucky to have left the in-laws (both sides) in the UK. We were neither of us raised to the talking over the back fence neighbour routine, so never gave that a thought. But then, we also never had problems finding neighbours that were friendly, although never to the extent of running in and out of houses.

We never missed any of that.

Were we just lucky? I have no idea, but I do know that Canada has been very good to us.

The only other country I could think of living in would be NZ, with certain parts of Australia a close second.

Former Lancastrian Apr 21st 2020 11:04 pm

Re: How many divorces has Canada caused?
 
BTW ......... you can replace "Canada" with any other country in the world in the above. There are similar threads on most of the other forums on this site.
:goodpost:

Bo-Jangles Apr 23rd 2020 6:20 am

Re: How many divorces has Canada caused?
 

Originally Posted by Former Lancastrian (Post 12842314)
BTW ......... you can replace "Canada" with any other country in the world in the above. There are similar threads on most of the other forums on this site.
:goodpost:

Very true, the NZ forum has a heck of a lot!

scrubbedexpat133 Apr 23rd 2020 9:13 pm

Re: How many divorces has Canada caused?
 

Originally Posted by no good name (Post 12817205)
Any experiences from anyone?

Couples / families that have moved to Canada and due to factors such as one person not settling / not happy, stress of it all etc, caused the relationship to end...…

Or

Did you manage to work something out, a compromise, some degree of middle ground and settlement that helped you get through it?

Anyone on here ever returned back to the UK with the other half and children staying in Canada?..... :unsure:

My ex fiancee of 7 years said to me 2 weeks after arriving that she hated it and wished that we had never been granted a visa. :eek: Despite her hating it with a passion I managed to convince her to at least give it a year that we had on our visa and see how it goes. Just to see it as an adventure if nothing else. I did not realise at the time how deeply unhappy she really was. Back home her family lived in the same street, she had the same friends from school and felt totally isolated here. I was on the road a lot which did not help. At the end of the fist year my best mate was getting married and I was the best man. We both went back to the UK for the wedding. The plan was that I would go back to Canada for a few months to work as much as possible to earn as much as possible and she would remain in the UK. I had to sell our stuff/ car etc. I did not realize until after I landed back in Canada how much I did not want to go back to the UK at that point. It dawned on me that we had grown apart and wanted different things in life. After about 2 months after being back here I had sold all of our stuff and saved every penny that I could. Basically lived on pasta, bananas and coffee. Lived in my truck for a while. I phoned her and told her that I want to stay here and build a new life. I felt that it was the right time to go our separate ways. I loved her very much and wanted her to be happy. I sent her every penny I had and started from scratch.

spouse of scouse Apr 25th 2020 5:29 pm

Re: How many divorces has Canada caused?
 
Canada has caused zero divorces. People and their emotions, feelings, expectations, reactions, disappointments and behaviours are reasons for divorce, countries aren't.

Siouxie Apr 25th 2020 5:58 pm

Re: How many divorces has Canada caused?
 

Originally Posted by spouse of scouse (Post 12844165)
Canada has caused zero divorces. People and their emotions, feelings, expectations, reactions, disappointments and behaviours are reasons for divorce, countries aren't.

:goodpost:

scot47 Apr 25th 2020 6:37 pm

Re: How many divorces has Canada caused?
 
Spouse of Scouse is right. Canada has done nothing.


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