AllyS

We have had to deal with emotional blackmail from one family member (whose husband passed away about 8 years ago).

However, they seem to have backed off recently. i think this is because they went on holiday for a couple of weeks and have their nieces coming to visit shortly, but they have relished playing us off against their 2 nieces and other people who they still have in their life - which is a very small handful now as they have pushed so many people away.

orly

I don't think. How is the OP responsible for someone else's fractured mind? Given what was posted it seems like the act of a conniving and controlling personality - makes it all the more compelling to get rid and move.

Siouxie

It's their Mother not some distant relative and whilst it isn't their fault in the slightest that she has ended up being sectioned, of course they are going to feel bad about it regardless of whether they are responsible or not.

You don't 'get rid' of a parent any more than a parent 'gets rid' of a child. It's called unconditional love - you may not like what they do - you may not even like them very much at times - but you still worry about them, love them and care what happens to them.

She is obviously mentally unwell and I doubt there was any rational thought behind what she did - otherwise she wouldn't have been sectioned.

izzi81

I've sent you a PM newstartcanada...

Newstartcanada

Thank you for all your messages. Things have improved since the weekend. My mum has said she regrets doing it and is sorry. It is early days and hopefully she means it and will now receive help in hospital to move forward.
As hard as it is we are continuing with our immigration and I cannot wait to get through this difficult chapter and hopefully start a new life in Canada with my kids and hubby.

Oink

I realize very little will dissuade you from pursuing what you believe will be a better future, but before you go through all the effort and cause so much emotional turmoil, why not a read in the Moving Back to the UK forum?

AlliF

Sorry Siouxie but don't agree with you on that one in all instances. In some circumstances it is best to do just that (although not in the Op's case - that sounds a lot more complex)
I have got 'rid' of my parents as they are just plain cruel and vindictive and I couldn't care less what happens to them.
Example of their most recent behaviour - not informing me til one month after the event that my granny (whom I was close to, and had been sending birthday cards and Christmas card to) had passed away. They waited til Christmas eve to tell me via email. I had no chance to attend the funeral or send flowers. Their reasoning when I wanted to know why was that I wasn't "entitled to be told" as was apparently not in frequent enough contact to be considered part of the family. (Despite them actually being the ones owing me phone calls and emails.)
We decided mutually after that it was best to no longer communicate and we are better off without them.

orly

It doesn't really matter who it is.

Jerseygirl

Of course it does...maybe not to you but I think to most it being a parent or child makes a huge difference.

Newstartcanada

I know Canada is not a bed of roses for everyone, some like it more than others, some prefer living in the UK etc. The four of us all want to emigrate, yes it may not work (I hope not!) but at least we would have tried it rather than living our lives always wondering what if.

AllyS

This is what I had kept in the back of my mind too. Life is too short not to have at least tried and seen your dream through to fruition.

Newstartcanada

Thanks everyone for your supportive messages.

I am coming out of the dark cloud. My Mum now says she was upset about us emigrating but the main reason she took the overdose was due to my Dad passing on. She should be out of hospital in a few weeks.

Looking to the future. She is sectioned under the Mental Health Act 2. I guess this has ruled out her ever being allowed to be a permanent resident in Canada.
But does anyone know would she be allowed to visit? And if so would she be allowed to fly into or visit America while visiting us and what are the chances of a Grandparents super visa?

Many thanks.

Newstartcanada

Hi any visa experts who could advise on this would be really appreciated

Siouxie

Glad to hear that your Mum is doing better

I would suggest posting a new thread in the Canada Immigration forum about the chances of her being able to visit or immigrate to Canada, this one is more of a generalised Canada forum.

Blossom23

You are quite correct.... if you all feel that this is what you want to do then you have to go for it.....Who wants to die with the 'what if" as as tomb stone.. not many get the opportunity to follow their dreams ... and not many have the strength to do it.... and if it turns out that the dream you had doesn't hold the rainbow you were seeking, then you can just give up and go back... However if you have such a strong desire to seek 'the adventure' to live in a country that is BIG, DIVERSE, OPPORTUNIST and BREATHTAKINGLY BEAUTIFUL...and in my opinion the best of the UK and the best of the USA all in one, then like me, you'll be here 23 years from now...

Stay strong and go with your heart... it's hard work, not always easy, but the rewards are there for you to enjoy. No rain .. no rainbows...

I apologize anyone I suspect I may offend right now... but I think those that make the most of any move to a new country are those that don't expect a 'hand out' and move with a desire to integrate... I think you work harder here, but you also reap the rewards of your hard work... neither of which I remember being part of my life in the UK. Are there things in the UK I miss... OH absolutely... could I live there again ... OH absolutely ... but only if I was rich and had a lot of choice of where I ended up.. I've got very used to the 'space' I have here.

If you want to make it work ... it will... good luck with your endeavours