homesickness
Nov 12th 2009, 6:01 pm
#46
swoops
Joined: Sep 2004
Location: Fall River, NS
Posts: 322
Re: homesickness
My husband and 2 children and dogs emigrated to Ontario in June 2005. We holidayed here in 2003 and liked it, my husband especially did, he's into hunting and snowmobiling.
They all love it here, but I really miss my Mum who's almost 70. We've got our dual citizenship but Mum's husband is very ill and it doesn't look like he will pass his sponsorship to here.
I also miss the beautiful British countryside, trees, hedgerows, different architecture and accents within a short drive. I find that Ontario is basically the same terrain wherever you go until you get to a huge city that's over-built up. It goes from one extreme to the other, without that English quaintness.
I loved walking anywhere in the UK and not having to rely on a car to get me to Walmart here or Michael's there to buy different products, that's so weird.
My father died a few weeks before we emigrated and at his funeral I was phoned by our immigration agent that we have finally, after 23 months of waiting, been accepted into Ontario. I dropped my cell phone, and my husband took over the call. It was such an emotional day as you can imagine! and perhaps that goes some way to how I am feeling. I am a housewife and do some fostering have a few friends but it's not the same.
Anyone else feel this way and any suggestions. We haven't been back to the UK yet, so I may be seeing things through rose coloured glasses
They all love it here, but I really miss my Mum who's almost 70. We've got our dual citizenship but Mum's husband is very ill and it doesn't look like he will pass his sponsorship to here.
I also miss the beautiful British countryside, trees, hedgerows, different architecture and accents within a short drive. I find that Ontario is basically the same terrain wherever you go until you get to a huge city that's over-built up. It goes from one extreme to the other, without that English quaintness.
I loved walking anywhere in the UK and not having to rely on a car to get me to Walmart here or Michael's there to buy different products, that's so weird.
My father died a few weeks before we emigrated and at his funeral I was phoned by our immigration agent that we have finally, after 23 months of waiting, been accepted into Ontario. I dropped my cell phone, and my husband took over the call. It was such an emotional day as you can imagine! and perhaps that goes some way to how I am feeling. I am a housewife and do some fostering have a few friends but it's not the same.
Anyone else feel this way and any suggestions. We haven't been back to the UK yet, so I may be seeing things through rose coloured glasses
So sorry that you are having such a difficult time settling in Canada. We are not in Canada yet but should be landing in NS in early 2010. We had been thinking of emigrating for several years then in late 2004 we decided lets go for it...I gathered all the application forms began to fill them in we told all the parents our intentions they were all apprehensive but understood our reasons,then in December my dad died suddenly and my world fell apart,and we didn't apply.
I can totally understand what you have been going through.
It took nearly 2 years for me to get things back into perspective I didn't even want Canada mentioned as I couldn't bare the guilt I was feeling for my mum,you must have felt torn in so many directions as everything happened so suddenly.
Nearly 5 years on we have our visa's and I am really looking forward to starting our new life.Although I know there will be ups and downs.
I hope you are feeling better soon maybe a trip back to see your mum would help?
Vicki
Nov 12th 2009, 6:21 pm
#47
Account Closed
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 95
Re: homesickness
Hi jan the piglet,
So sorry that you are having such a difficult time settling in Canada. We are not in Canada yet but should be landing in NS in early 2010. We had been thinking of emigrating for several years then in late 2004 we decided lets go for it...I gathered all the application forms began to fill them in we told all the parents our intentions they were all apprehensive but understood our reasons,then in December my dad died suddenly and my world fell apart,and we didn't apply.
I can totally understand what you have been going through.
It took nearly 2 years for me to get things back into perspective I didn't even want Canada mentioned as I couldn't bare the guilt I was feeling for my mum,you must have felt torn in so many directions as everything happened so suddenly.
Nearly 5 years on we have our visa's and I am really looking forward to starting our new life.Although I know there will be ups and downs.
I hope you are feeling better soon maybe a trip back to see your mum would help?
Vicki
So sorry that you are having such a difficult time settling in Canada. We are not in Canada yet but should be landing in NS in early 2010. We had been thinking of emigrating for several years then in late 2004 we decided lets go for it...I gathered all the application forms began to fill them in we told all the parents our intentions they were all apprehensive but understood our reasons,then in December my dad died suddenly and my world fell apart,and we didn't apply.
I can totally understand what you have been going through.
It took nearly 2 years for me to get things back into perspective I didn't even want Canada mentioned as I couldn't bare the guilt I was feeling for my mum,you must have felt torn in so many directions as everything happened so suddenly.
Nearly 5 years on we have our visa's and I am really looking forward to starting our new life.Although I know there will be ups and downs.
I hope you are feeling better soon maybe a trip back to see your mum would help?
Vicki
Jan
Nov 12th 2009, 6:38 pm
#48
Settled.
Joined: Jul 2006
Location: St. Albert. AB.
Posts: 3,286
Re: homesickness
i think comments like, wallowing, self pity, trolling for sympathy etc would be pertinent if this was the 200th post in this vein by the o/p, its number 12, give her a break. its quite clear at the end of the post, suggestions and anyone else feeling this way, i don't see that as wallowing personally, rather someone looking to alter their personal situation with advice from others who have perhaps been through this and come out the other side.
i have been up and down since i have been here, and may well continue to do so. i have been back once, as has my wife separately. we both agreed on our return that we are better off here. does that mean i will stop missing the UK for various reasons, no of course not, it does not make me bitter or resentful either. you can't live for 30 odd years in one place then leave and not miss parts of it, no matter how bad your life there and good your life here.
go back for a short visit. when you get back you will either appreciate your life here more, or the reason to leave will be more firm, then at least you can be sure in your decision.
i have been up and down since i have been here, and may well continue to do so. i have been back once, as has my wife separately. we both agreed on our return that we are better off here. does that mean i will stop missing the UK for various reasons, no of course not, it does not make me bitter or resentful either. you can't live for 30 odd years in one place then leave and not miss parts of it, no matter how bad your life there and good your life here.
go back for a short visit. when you get back you will either appreciate your life here more, or the reason to leave will be more firm, then at least you can be sure in your decision.
Nov 12th 2009, 6:49 pm
#49
Account Closed
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 95
Re: homesickness
i think comments like, wallowing, self pity, trolling for sympathy etc would be pertinent if this was the 200th post in this vein by the o/p, its number 12, give her a break. its quite clear at the end of the post, suggestions and anyone else feeling this way, i don't see that as wallowing personally, rather someone looking to alter their personal situation with advice from others who have perhaps been through this and come out the other side.
i have been up and down since i have been here, and may well continue to do so. i have been back once, as has my wife separately. we both agreed on our return that we are better off here. does that mean i will stop missing the UK for various reasons, no of course not, it does not make me bitter or resentful either. you can't live for 30 odd years in one place then leave and not miss parts of it, no matter how bad your life there and good your life here.
go back for a short visit. when you get back you will either appreciate your life here more, or the reason to leave will be more firm, then at least you can be sure in your decision.
i have been up and down since i have been here, and may well continue to do so. i have been back once, as has my wife separately. we both agreed on our return that we are better off here. does that mean i will stop missing the UK for various reasons, no of course not, it does not make me bitter or resentful either. you can't live for 30 odd years in one place then leave and not miss parts of it, no matter how bad your life there and good your life here.
go back for a short visit. when you get back you will either appreciate your life here more, or the reason to leave will be more firm, then at least you can be sure in your decision.
Jan
Nov 12th 2009, 8:39 pm
#50
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 2,159
Re: homesickness
My husband and 2 children and dogs emigrated to Ontario in June 2005. We holidayed here in 2003 and liked it, my husband especially did, he's into hunting and snowmobiling.
They all love it here, but I really miss my Mum who's almost 70. We've got our dual citizenship but Mum's husband is very ill and it doesn't look like he will pass his sponsorship to here.
I also miss the beautiful British countryside, trees, hedgerows, different architecture and accents within a short drive. I find that Ontario is basically the same terrain wherever you go until you get to a huge city that's over-built up. It goes from one extreme to the other, without that English quaintness.
I loved walking anywhere in the UK and not having to rely on a car to get me to Walmart here or Michael's there to buy different products, that's so weird.
My father died a few weeks before we emigrated and at his funeral I was phoned by our immigration agent that we have finally, after 23 months of waiting, been accepted into Ontario. I dropped my cell phone, and my husband took over the call. It was such an emotional day as you can imagine! and perhaps that goes some way to how I am feeling. I am a housewife and do some fostering have a few friends but it's not the same.
Anyone else feel this way and any suggestions. We haven't been back to the UK yet, so I may be seeing things through rose coloured glasses
They all love it here, but I really miss my Mum who's almost 70. We've got our dual citizenship but Mum's husband is very ill and it doesn't look like he will pass his sponsorship to here.
I also miss the beautiful British countryside, trees, hedgerows, different architecture and accents within a short drive. I find that Ontario is basically the same terrain wherever you go until you get to a huge city that's over-built up. It goes from one extreme to the other, without that English quaintness.
I loved walking anywhere in the UK and not having to rely on a car to get me to Walmart here or Michael's there to buy different products, that's so weird.
My father died a few weeks before we emigrated and at his funeral I was phoned by our immigration agent that we have finally, after 23 months of waiting, been accepted into Ontario. I dropped my cell phone, and my husband took over the call. It was such an emotional day as you can imagine! and perhaps that goes some way to how I am feeling. I am a housewife and do some fostering have a few friends but it's not the same.
Anyone else feel this way and any suggestions. We haven't been back to the UK yet, so I may be seeing things through rose coloured glasses
Nov 12th 2009, 8:47 pm
#51
Account Closed
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 95
Re: homesickness
I felt a lot like you and I had only been here 5 months. I booked a trip home to see my family, my husband thought I wouldnt come back. After a few days in the UK I was desperate to get back. Dont get me wrong I love my country, but going back for me just sealed the deal as far as living in Canada was concerned. I moved here because my husband was made a very good offer and I felt I shouldnt hold him back, so you see I was here under suferance, going back for a visit for me was the right thing to do.
Nov 12th 2009, 9:52 pm
#52
Account Closed
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 95
Re: homesickness
I think a trip back to the UK would be a good idea, you get to see your mum, get to assess what the UK is like, maybe talk things over with your old friends and get some firm idea of how you want to go on from there. You may feel worse afterwards, you may feel better, but at least you will know how you feel for sure.
Plus if your mums husband is in a bad way maybe the company and distraction will be good for her too.
If you had only just got here I wouldnt say go for a visit, but after a few years sometimes its just what people need.
Plus if your mums husband is in a bad way maybe the company and distraction will be good for her too.
If you had only just got here I wouldnt say go for a visit, but after a few years sometimes its just what people need.
like me, they miss coffee renoirs and local pubs and jaffa cakes
Nov 12th 2009, 10:19 pm
#54
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2009
Location: Somewhere in Hamilton, ON
Posts: 4,307
Re: homesickness
Hi Jan
I've grown up with emigration but to France and Australia.
Everybody is different and nobody can judge you for questioning how you feel at the moment.
My older (by 25 yrs) sister left England to live with her boyfriend who became her husband in Australia. That must have been in about 1960/62
Over the last 45+ years she has moved backwards and forwards between the UK and Australia never completely sure about where she wanted to be!
I moved with my parents at the age of 9 to Algeria then on to France and came back to the UK when I was 22. I have always been torn between France and the UK.
What I'm trying to say is that once you've spent a chunk of your life in a different country there will always be part of you who wants to go back. And when you get there the other country calls you!
So you need to make the best of what you have as I could almost guarantee you that if you went back to the UK you would miss Canada!
So good luck with whatever you decide to do...
I've grown up with emigration but to France and Australia.
Everybody is different and nobody can judge you for questioning how you feel at the moment.
My older (by 25 yrs) sister left England to live with her boyfriend who became her husband in Australia. That must have been in about 1960/62
Over the last 45+ years she has moved backwards and forwards between the UK and Australia never completely sure about where she wanted to be!
I moved with my parents at the age of 9 to Algeria then on to France and came back to the UK when I was 22. I have always been torn between France and the UK.
What I'm trying to say is that once you've spent a chunk of your life in a different country there will always be part of you who wants to go back. And when you get there the other country calls you!
So you need to make the best of what you have as I could almost guarantee you that if you went back to the UK you would miss Canada!
So good luck with whatever you decide to do...
Nov 13th 2009, 11:10 am
#55
Slob
Joined: Sep 2009
Location: Ottineau
Posts: 6,342
Re: homesickness
I think the "local pub" thing wears off after a while. A pub where you're not a "local" is just a bar. I rarely go into them these days, even when I'm in the UK.
Nov 13th 2009, 11:39 am
#56
Assimilated Pauper
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Ontario
Posts: 40,018
Re: homesickness
Of course, one should be careful about just how strange a stranger one is drinking with.
Nov 13th 2009, 11:47 am
#57
Slob
Joined: Sep 2009
Location: Ottineau
Posts: 6,342
Re: homesickness
I don't think that holds. The reason for meeting strangers in the Yard is that even after years of not drinking there regularly I still have a high chance of bumping into someone I know slightly. If stood up the evening is unlikely to be completely wasted.
Of course, one should be careful about just how strange a stranger one is drinking with.
Of course, one should be careful about just how strange a stranger one is drinking with.
Nov 13th 2009, 12:35 pm
#58
Account Closed
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 95
Re: homesickness
i think comments like, wallowing, self pity, trolling for sympathy etc would be pertinent if this was the 200th post in this vein by the o/p, its number 12, give her a break. its quite clear at the end of the post, suggestions and anyone else feeling this way, i don't see that as wallowing personally, rather someone looking to alter their personal situation with advice from others who have perhaps been through this and come out the other side.
i have been up and down since i have been here, and may well continue to do so. i have been back once, as has my wife separately. we both agreed on our return that we are better off here. does that mean i will stop missing the UK for various reasons, no of course not, it does not make me bitter or resentful either. you can't live for 30 odd years in one place then leave and not miss parts of it, no matter how bad your life there and good your life here.
go back for a short visit. when you get back you will either appreciate your life here more, or the reason to leave will be more firm, then at least you can be sure in your decision.
i have been up and down since i have been here, and may well continue to do so. i have been back once, as has my wife separately. we both agreed on our return that we are better off here. does that mean i will stop missing the UK for various reasons, no of course not, it does not make me bitter or resentful either. you can't live for 30 odd years in one place then leave and not miss parts of it, no matter how bad your life there and good your life here.
go back for a short visit. when you get back you will either appreciate your life here more, or the reason to leave will be more firm, then at least you can be sure in your decision.
I do know deep down in my heart of hearts that Canada is a better country, less crime (one reason we came here was for our children's future) fresher air, better economy and usually a better attitude, but of course there will always be a craving for pretty hedgerows and dry stone walls, castles and seasides. I'm just a romantic at heart and my family love me for it.
Thank you again for your input and time taken to answer my dilemma. Jan
Nov 13th 2009, 12:42 pm
#59
Account Closed
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2009
Posts: 95
Re: homesickness
I felt a lot like you and I had only been here 5 months. I booked a trip home to see my family, my husband thought I wouldnt come back. After a few days in the UK I was desperate to get back. Dont get me wrong I love my country, but going back for me just sealed the deal as far as living in Canada was concerned. I moved here because my husband was made a very good offer and I felt I shouldnt hold him back, so you see I was here under suferance, going back for a visit for me was the right thing to do.
I tend to lead with my heart not my head and I married a fantastic man who has a good head on his shoulders and I know he's right in saying that Canada is the better of the two countries. Every now and again we both do a "tick list" and we both agree on the same points and the reasons why we emigrated.
I just feel like not seeing my Mum every few days is like a bereavement.
Like many other people on here have said, going back could confirm to me on way or the other which really is "home" for me.
I have heard a few horror stories of people like me not settling, returning to the UK only to re-return to Canada, with so much less equity, kids schooling screwed up etc.
There's a great deal to think about, thank you, Jan
