Help I hate it here!!!
Oct 21st 2011, 1:14 pm
#76
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Dec 2008
Location: Ottawa
Posts: 487
Re: Help I hate it here!!!
There is a possibility if we went back now my husband can get his old job back and we can buy a house straight away in the same town and feel settled straight away - thats the dilema we feel rushed to make the decision. If we decide to stay his job will no longer be open and we would be effectively stuck here, which we may settle in and find an area we may not. Do we cut our losses and run back to what we know or give it a chance and risk not having a life to go back to?
1. What is your line of work? This matters because why do you think it necessary that you would be working downtown? Therefore your commute could be more bearable.
2. Any kids? you've given no info on whether schools., etc., are important.
3. Your budget? determines everything really!
4. House details. Townhouse? New? old? land? garden for a dog? transport? can you both drive? near water? near parks? walk to the shops or drive?
Give some more details and we'd be able to help you. Did you look at Manotick? If you truly want help its a two way conversation. However, if the question was actually not a question but a statement then you obviously know the answer/s already.
As I said you can PM me if you like. I've been here 5 years and have real estate contacts.
Over to you now....
Oct 21st 2011, 1:33 pm
#77
Moderαtor Emeritus
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Upstate South Carolina
Posts: 30,768
Re: Help I hate it here!!!
Hmm well so far the gym would be $880, the dentist $200, groceries for a week $140 in Ottawa. In Canada the gym was 300, dentist 30 and the groceries 40pounds. We didnt live in London or anywhere near in the UK so things were cheap - except stamp duty!!!
Do you think I would settle if I gave it longer or just make do because I would have nothing to go back to?
Do you think I would settle if I gave it longer or just make do because I would have nothing to go back to?
If you WANT to spend $880 on a gym membership, thats up to you
What was the $200 for? Ontario Dental scale for a 1hr hygene visit plus dentist checkup is $130, thats more or less what my dentist charges and what my work benefits covers 80% of. Groceries for my family of 4 at the low end "No Frills" average about $140 a week. At Sobeys it would be a lot more Im guessing (dont shop there, too expensive, I dont mind packing my own bags)
It seems to me you might need to shop around a bit more for the better deals, but figuring that out is part of moving anywhere.
Last edited by iaink; Oct 21st 2011 at 1:42 pm.
Oct 21st 2011, 1:35 pm
#78
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 889
Re: Help I hate it here!!!
Isn't this characteristic of the attractive parts of Ontario? In Toronto, Cabbagetown, the Beach, High Park, all consist of large older houses relatively close together at the sides with large lawns front and back. They're
interspersed by parks and on streets with a large number of trees. Guelph looks like that, as does part the better part of Hamilton. The less affluent areas, Toronto's Parkdale would be a good example, also have large attractive houses but they've been divided into flats and then into rooming houses.
Some differences from the newer subdivisions, Hunt Club, Pickering, Mississauga, are access to transit, access to bars and restaurants, access to independent shops and the presence of trees. Subdivisions are thrown up on farmland so there aren't any established trees. The green space in older areas is permanent rather than awaiting the next tranche of hutches.
The advantage of the subdivisions is that one can buy more internal space for the money, the houses, or rather the garages with accomodation behind, are built as close to the lot lines as planning regulations allow, meaning bathrooms bigger than the lawn. To gain this space one must sacrifice build quality, settle for drywall rather than plaster, vinyl rather than brick. One typically must live with a busybodying commitee of residents demanding that the front doors all match and that cars not be washed in the driveway. Some even try to corral cats and conceal laundry.
One must also live with motorways, the raison d'etre of the subdivisions. The motorways may not be horrific in themselves but the walls built to conceal them certainly are, I didn't understand a remark about Brampton "it's so cruel to build a balcony that only looks out at a peace wall". Didn't understand it until I went to Belfast.
It is, of course, a matter of horses for course, the subdivisions are the sort of places that appeal to SUV owners, the older neighbourhoods, to walkers and the owners of Citroens and Smart cars. I didn't move to Canada to live in a facsimile of Milton Keynes.
interspersed by parks and on streets with a large number of trees. Guelph looks like that, as does part the better part of Hamilton. The less affluent areas, Toronto's Parkdale would be a good example, also have large attractive houses but they've been divided into flats and then into rooming houses.
Some differences from the newer subdivisions, Hunt Club, Pickering, Mississauga, are access to transit, access to bars and restaurants, access to independent shops and the presence of trees. Subdivisions are thrown up on farmland so there aren't any established trees. The green space in older areas is permanent rather than awaiting the next tranche of hutches.
The advantage of the subdivisions is that one can buy more internal space for the money, the houses, or rather the garages with accomodation behind, are built as close to the lot lines as planning regulations allow, meaning bathrooms bigger than the lawn. To gain this space one must sacrifice build quality, settle for drywall rather than plaster, vinyl rather than brick. One typically must live with a busybodying commitee of residents demanding that the front doors all match and that cars not be washed in the driveway. Some even try to corral cats and conceal laundry.
One must also live with motorways, the raison d'etre of the subdivisions. The motorways may not be horrific in themselves but the walls built to conceal them certainly are, I didn't understand a remark about Brampton "it's so cruel to build a balcony that only looks out at a peace wall". Didn't understand it until I went to Belfast.
It is, of course, a matter of horses for course, the subdivisions are the sort of places that appeal to SUV owners, the older neighbourhoods, to walkers and the owners of Citroens and Smart cars. I didn't move to Canada to live in a facsimile of Milton Keynes.
I do see however, some of the benefits of living nearer to Downtown. In fact, the Glebe reminds me a lot of Didsbury in Manchester, where I lived a few years back. Guess now though, for me with kids, the subdivision holds a bit more appeal, but - each to their own!
As a planner with the City, I'm having a ball working here and dealing with the many different types of neighbourhood to be found in Ottawa - each with their own pro's and cons and unique characteristics (even out in the suburbs). I never would have got the opportunity to work on such varied projects, in very different communities, in my UK position.
Best of luck to the OP.
Last edited by wolstie; Oct 21st 2011 at 1:39 pm.
Oct 21st 2011, 3:03 pm
#80
Banned
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,088
Re: Help I hate it here!!!
YMCA here costs me $82 a month for the family, and that includes free swim lessons for the kids.
If you WANT to spend $880 on a gym membership, thats up to you
What was the $200 for? Ontario Dental scale for a 1hr hygene visit plus dentist checkup is $130, thats more or less what my dentist charges and what my work benefits covers 80% of. Groceries for my family of 4 at the low end "No Frills" average about $140 a week. At Sobeys it would be a lot more Im guessing (dont shop there, too expensive, I dont mind packing my own bags)
It seems to me you might need to shop around a bit more for the better deals, but figuring that out is part of moving anywhere.
If you WANT to spend $880 on a gym membership, thats up to you
What was the $200 for? Ontario Dental scale for a 1hr hygene visit plus dentist checkup is $130, thats more or less what my dentist charges and what my work benefits covers 80% of. Groceries for my family of 4 at the low end "No Frills" average about $140 a week. At Sobeys it would be a lot more Im guessing (dont shop there, too expensive, I dont mind packing my own bags)
It seems to me you might need to shop around a bit more for the better deals, but figuring that out is part of moving anywhere.
Oct 21st 2011, 3:08 pm
#81
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 2,139
Re: Help I hate it here!!!
Hmm well so far the gym would be $880, the dentist $200, groceries for a week $140 in Ottawa. In Canada the gym was 300, dentist 30 and the groceries 40pounds. We didnt live in London or anywhere near in the UK so things were cheap - except stamp duty!!!
Do you think I would settle if I gave it longer or just make do because I would have nothing to go back to?
Do you think I would settle if I gave it longer or just make do because I would have nothing to go back to?
If it's for a month, first of all I would have my eyes checked and/or my head examined, then I would skip paying that for a year and invest the money saved in some surgery. Same result, much less sweating.
Oct 21st 2011, 3:10 pm
#82
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2010
Location: Almonte, ON
Posts: 1,061
Re: Help I hate it here!!!
See also:
http://www.realtor.ca/propertyDetail...Key=1084496979
I went on the open house for this one. Its nice and not falling down.
http://www.realtor.ca/propertyDetail...Key=1084496979
I went on the open house for this one. Its nice and not falling down.
Oct 21st 2011, 3:41 pm
#84
Binned by Muderators
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: White Rock BC
Posts: 11,682
Oct 21st 2011, 4:00 pm
#85
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 14,227
Re: Help I hate it here!!!
Stats, schmats. If the OP hates it then the best thing to do is to leave surely. Isn't this obvious to everyone?
Oct 21st 2011, 4:06 pm
#86
Moderαtor Emeritus
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Upstate South Carolina
Posts: 30,768
Re: Help I hate it here!!!
No, not after only ten days. Hes clearly still finding his feet if hes paying $800 for a gym and $200 to a dentist, and $9 for cerial. Hell, Id hate it too if that was how I was being fleeced, but that doesnt sound representative of canadian living to me.
Oct 21st 2011, 4:19 pm
#87
Beep
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Here
Posts: 8,311
Re: Help I hate it here!!!
The problem is, if they have jobs to go back to, great friends and family, and were happy there in the first place, why not chalk it up to experience and use it as a platform to find contentment where it was all along?
I do agree that 8 days is a short amount of time but sometimes you just know and if you're in an unhappy mindset it may be tough to get out of, hence looking at mundane things in a critically exaggerated way.
To the OP, there's nothing wrong with going home. Staying is a big gamble both financially and emotionally. If you're not comfortable gambling with your savings and your emotional well-being, i think you know what the answer is. I also think you know what the answer is already if i'm reading between the lines correctly.
Also, if you meet anybody that mentions the "what if's", punch them in the face for me.
Oct 21st 2011, 4:25 pm
#88
Island life at last
Joined: Aug 2009
Location: BC
Posts: 2,715
Re: Help I hate it here!!!
Basically everything, except petrol, so far is about twice the price that we are used to, the houses are more expensive and what you gain in inside space you lose in outside space (gardens). We have yet to find anywhere where we could potentially live that doesnt cost above 600,000 dollars. With the fact that if we could get jobs (it isnt looking great) then we would be earning less than we were in canada and with having to pay out more - we are worse off. I know everything is not about how much money you have but we do have to compare our standard of life. In the UK we had lots of spare money and a large house with a huge garden / plot. I appreciate Canada is different and I perhaps didnt do as much research as I should have but seriously dont know where to go back whilst we can still get our jobs back and just go back to normal life or to stick it out loosing more of our savings and becoming more unhappy.
So much information is available before you immigrate now on the Web - job availability and wage ranges, MLS house listings, Realtors will put you on their Private Listings e-mails so that you can see houses that fit your criteria, Google maps and Streetview to see the actual neighbourhoods, shopping sites to see costs of goods and a recce trip or two would have sorted out any other misconceptions.
Not only that but you also have the benefit of a brother who already lives here to give you any other information you needed.....
Looking at the points you make about house prices etc, makes me wonder what research you actually did do.
Presumably there was a point at which you had some good reason to believe that you could make a success of it here in Canada and be happy?
If so, what were those reasons and were they still valid by the time you actually came to leave the UK, which was clearly some time later?
It seems to me from what you have said that you jumped into coming out here with no preparation just because your PR was about to run out.
If you left it that long, maybe you didn't really want to come in the first place?
But to move on, I think if you are going to make a proper go of this now you need to make a mental commitment to it and adopt a positive, long term attitude .
Your issues are not going to be resolved overnight.
As Aviator said, success will take time here but will come eventually if you persevere.
If you are not prepared to invest that time making it work here or you still have doubts about whether you will ever like it here, then I think you would be best to go back to the UK now while your jobs are still open and it is still the same place you left.
It is unfortunate, but now I think you are in a position in which you really do have to make a decision in a short space of time if you want to slot back into the UK where you were. IMHO only, of course.
I agree with el_richo on this. It isn't a failure to want to go back and it is OK to change your mind, so you must do what is best for you.
I really hope you work it out to a good result, whatever you decide.
Best wishes
Oct 21st 2011, 4:28 pm
#89
Moderαtor Emeritus
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Upstate South Carolina
Posts: 30,768
Re: Help I hate it here!!!
Maybe they emigrated for all the wrong reasons? Maybe reality didn't match the "dream"? Maybe they just know it's not for them and it took the actual move to realise it?
The problem is, if they have jobs to go back to, great friends and family, and were happy there in the first place, why not chalk it up to experience and use it as a platform to find contentment where it was all along?
I do agree that 8 days is a short amount of time but sometimes you just know and if you're in an unhappy mindset it may be tough to get out of, hence looking at mundane things in a critically exaggerated way.
To the OP, there's nothing wrong with going home. Staying is a big gamble both financially and emotionally. If you're not comfortable gambling with your savings and your emotional well-being, i think you know what the answer is. I also think you know what the answer is already if i'm reading between the lines correctly.
Also, if you meet anybody that mentions the "what if's", punch them in the face for me.
The problem is, if they have jobs to go back to, great friends and family, and were happy there in the first place, why not chalk it up to experience and use it as a platform to find contentment where it was all along?
I do agree that 8 days is a short amount of time but sometimes you just know and if you're in an unhappy mindset it may be tough to get out of, hence looking at mundane things in a critically exaggerated way.
To the OP, there's nothing wrong with going home. Staying is a big gamble both financially and emotionally. If you're not comfortable gambling with your savings and your emotional well-being, i think you know what the answer is. I also think you know what the answer is already if i'm reading between the lines correctly.
Also, if you meet anybody that mentions the "what if's", punch them in the face for me.
The truth is, none of us can say what is best for the OP. Sometimes it takes time, sometimes it doesnt help. Personal circumstances and motivations are going to weigh into any decision that they make, and all we can do is try and help with the day to day issues and local knowledge of an area, or life here as a british immigrant, and at least help them make as informed a decision as possible. Life isnt a game.
Last edited by iaink; Oct 21st 2011 at 4:36 pm.
Oct 21st 2011, 4:34 pm
#90
Binned by Muderators
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: White Rock BC
Posts: 11,682
Re: Help I hate it here!!!
It is just that if someone says that in their opinion winters in Winnipeg are quite balmy it is reasonable to point out that the stats suggest that it is brass monkeys.