samb29

Hi

I was just looking for a bit of an insight into this subject. My husband and I are looking at moving to Vancouver later this year. We are 28 and 29. We are looking to move before we have kids. We will probably look to have a baby within 18 months to 2 years of arriving. I was just wondering if there are any couples of similar ages out there who have done the same thing? How easy did you find it on your own, without family support etc, and was it ok organising daycare etc when you had to return to work?

Thanks in advance for any advice given.

LucyLovelock

Hi,
And welcome to the forum.
My husband and I moved out here 5.5 years ago, when I was 30, he was 36.
We decided to wait until we moved before having children, and it was the best thing we did.
We had our first child within the first two years, and whilst its definately hard not having family around, you tend to rely on friends more to fill that gap and help out, and likewise we help them out too.
Having children also helps to really cement your roots out here, and branch out and form the friendships that will help you settle.
The Mum and baby groups etc are great!
As for going back to work, I knew I wanted to stay home with the girls, and thankfully so far have been able to.
Good luck with your move!

Poppy2

You do need to consider finances with children - particularly if you need to return to work and child care. I previously (UK and NZ) was lucky to have a job that I could work part time and do night and weekend shifts, therefore did not need to spend money on childcare. Here however, the same job (nursing) is restricted to rotating shifts and schedules, so hard to do what we did previously. Employers are very inflexible and expect women to have child care sorted out. Limited vacation hours and sick time per year, which can be taken up with caring for children if they are sick.

So consider when you start out how you expect to manage financially - ideally start out with the ability for you to not work.......but that isnt always practical these days.

The other aspect to consider is the ability for family to come and visit and see the baby - it may not seem like much now, but we are expecting our 4th baby in June and no-one is coming over to meet the baby or see us. This is the first baby who hasnt been seen in person by the family and the cost for us to return home (6 of us) is prohibitive.

Dont be put off by anything I have said, but just points to consider.

Good luck!

iaink

Lets not kid anyone, having kids without family around basically means either:

Someone being around when the kids are at home for 12 years at least, until they are deemed old enough to be home alone. Kids generaly are done school and arriving home around 3 pm, and there has to be an adult there.

or

Finding and paying for child care that you trust and can rely on. Child care is expensive.


Even then there will be times when you need someone you can trust to watch a kid at short notice that you can rely on. Summer holidays in particular are something of a nightmare if both parents work.

Its not easy, but its doable. Then there is the whole idea of kids growing up without that close contact with family that you might have if you live near siblings and parents. Its different, thats for sure. Having kids here certainly has given us a lot more roots in the community, and we wouldnt change anything, but I wouldnt fancy doing it on a tight budget.

ExKiwilass

I agree.

Childcare is the biggest issue for most people I know. People that have family - useful family near by - I am so envious of them!

Tangram

+1

ann m

Childcare was also the biggest issue for us when we moved over with a 7 and 9 year old. It's just hard, or expensive!

If you are settled here for a couple of years first, then I guess you will already have built up a network of a few friends who may be in a similar position - and starting out with baby and toddler groups will introduce you to a wider network too.

minimeeze

I don't have answers to the questions you asked as I don't have kids, but just wanted to say that when the time comes - get a midwife! There are loads in Vancouver and midwifery care is covered by your care card. Maternity services in Canada are nothing like the UK, and if you want care by a midwife, you need to call in the moment you get a positive pregnancy test!

London Mike

Childcare is expensive but there are some nice tax deduction opportunities for childcare if you are working - at least part-time. So, in Ontario at least, against my OH's tax return my OH can claim back 70% of her 2010 earnings as child tax credit or $7,000 (whichever's the lesser). Didn't get that in the UK in child tax credits.

But point taken - upfront costs aren't cheap and getting a place is tricky. Much like UK, get in there nice and early and smile a lot.

nvgirl

My partner and I moved to North Vancouver in 2006, both aged 34 at the time. We had our first child in 2008 and our second in January of this year. We both have good jobs and bought a house soon after arriving. Our citizenship application is going through at the moment but once that it finalized we will be selling up and moving back to the UK.

The community facilities here with children are excellent, I've made some really good friends, Brits and Canadians. Child care is expensive, when I went back to work after my first I was paying $1100 per month for daycare, now I'm on maternity leave with my second I put my older daughter in daycare for 3 days per week, if I had family around perhaps I wouldn't need to do that.

I have friends that have offered and in emergencies babysat for me, but I don't feel that I want to bother them and it's just not the same as having family close by.

It's all really good but I have just never felt settled, and the thought of my kids growing up without knowing their family bothers me. My parents are old now too, 81 and 82 so that's also a pull for me. It's a very hard decision to go back, especially as my partner would like to stay, and someone said to me recently that maybe I would have settled better if I'd had longer here before I had kids, but who knows.

It's a very personal thing and what suits one does not suit the next, you just have to try it and see. We're getting citizenship first because both of our children have dual citizenship so to me it makes sense for us all to have it, and if further down the line I feel that I've made a mistake then I have the option to come back.

Good luck.

ExKiwilass

you can't know how it's going to be until you have kids, but in particular with young children, the more help you can get the better. I really see the difference in parents who have family around vs those who don't. By family around I mean the kind of family who will actually pitch in and help - if your family sucks well, then, it doesn't make any difference where you are.

A lot of the parents we know have family who help regularly with childcare for free or very little money. It makes a huge difference financially, esp. in a city like van which is freaking expensive anyway, not to mention the preference most people have for having their kids with someone who loves them. Daycare can be really hit and miss, even the licensed ones.

All this said, I wouldn't let it put anyone off coming - it's just something to think about. There's so many unknowns with kids eh - will you get a crier, a bad sleeper, or will you be one of those freaks who has a baby that is always happy and sleeps through the night from day 3.....in which case it won't be such a big deal...

Juliet C

Hi Sam

We are moving to Vancouver area in June with a two year old, I'll let you know how we get on as I hope to work part time and will need childcare once we have settled in. One thing I will say though from experience (I have a 18 year old son as well) whether in the UK or Canada once you have kids don't expect to have lots of spare money full stop!!!

samb29

Hi Juliet C

Thanks for your reply. That would be great if you could let me know how you get on, any info will be very much appreciated. Good luck with your move, I hope everything goes well for you.

samb29

Thank you everyone for your replies, they are very helpful and very much appreciated. It is good to hear everyone's different experiences. It will hopefully be that once we are settled, my mum would look to move out also with her partner as well so that would obviously be a big help. However, I am obviously wanting to cover the option of childcare, should this will be required (if not full time maybe a few days per week).

Juliet C

No problem Sam, one other thing to bear in mind is that where I live there are a lot of young families moving in re-locating for work and because house prices are slightly cheaper than London, a lot of the Mums with young kids and no family nearby have formed a club in which they all babysit for each other every so often FOC, its a good way of meeting new people and could save you a few bob, maybe something you could think about in Vancouver?

Juliet C