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Five years and homesickness increasing..

Five years and homesickness increasing..

Old May 30th 2019, 10:28 pm
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Default Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..

Originally Posted by Tirytory


Maybe we’ll have a new generation of children who don’t think the world is theirs to do with as they please? The youth of today are leading the way.

Nah not a chance. A cataclysmic event could occur and they'd still be obliviously styling their man buns.
They'd only notice when Facebook was down so they couldn't post selfies of aforementioned man bun.

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Old May 30th 2019, 10:46 pm
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Default Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..

Originally Posted by Tirytory


Maybe we’ll have a new generation of children who don’t think the world is theirs to do with as they please? The youth of today are leading the way.
I am hopeful of this.

I don't know the answer to this TiryTory. I have been in NZ for 16 years now and it remains not a good fit for me for several reasons . MrBEVS on the other hand views how he sees where he is in a different way. His measures are not the same as mine. What makes him tick if different to my tock. I can appreciate what we have and where we are and all that guff but really it is not for me.
Homesickness comes in waves as you know . It is akin to bereavement in a way. It has nothing to do with nostalgia which I sometimes see written on BE as an explanation for feeling displaced. Nor about not doing research in the beginning , or refusing to embrace the new, or looking back at past times with fondness & love. It is something a bit deeper than that. Something which makes you . Is a part of the fibre of your being. The thing that raises your eyes and swells your heart. Makes you skip. It is that thing.

We have considered a move within NZ. We could move to an area which I feel could suit me better in a couple of ways for one or two reasons , however overall it would still not be a good fit for many more reasons.
Don't get me wrong . I am not spending days, months ,years dragging my feet with my chin on the ground bemoaning all and sundry. We live our lives here and make the most of where we are , who we know and what we have. It is not my place of peace,rest and happiness though. It is not in my heart at all but maybe I was a little too old to expect my heart to adapt and love the new .

Why did we emigrate? Because we could and wanted to try something different. There was no big push to leave the UK like it seems many feel the need . It was more the pull of the shimmering horizon which in a way was no more than a mirage.

MrBEVS will go where I wish to be to make me happy . The thing is that I wish MrBEVS to also be happy with his lot too. Then there are the practicalities.
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Old May 30th 2019, 10:53 pm
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Default Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..

Originally Posted by BEVS
I am hopeful of this.

I don't know the answer to this TiryTory. I have been in NZ for 16 years now and it remains not a good fit for me for several reasons . MrBEVS on the other hand views how he sees where he is in a different way. His measures are not the same as mine. What makes him tick if different to my tock. I can appreciate what we have and where we are and all that guff but really it is not for me.
Homesickness comes in waves as you know . It is akin to bereavement in a way. It has nothing to do with nostalgia which I sometimes see written on BE as an explanation for feeling displaced. Nor about not doing research in the beginning , or refusing to embrace the new, or looking back at past times with fondness & love. It is something a bit deeper than that. Something which makes you . Is a part of the fibre of your being. The thing that raises your eyes and swells your heart. Makes you skip. It is that thing.

We have considered a move within NZ. We could move to an area which I feel could suit me better in a couple of ways for one or two reasons , however overall it would still not be a good fit for many more reasons.
Don't get me wrong . I am not spending days, months ,years dragging my feet with my chin on the ground bemoaning all and sundry. We live our lives here and make the most of where we are , who we know and what we have. It is not my place of peace,rest and happiness though. It is not in my heart at all but maybe I was a little too old to expect my heart to adapt and love the new .

Why did we emigrate? Because we could and wanted to try something different. There was no big push to leave the UK like it seems many feel the need . It was more the pull of the shimmering horizon which in a way was no more than a mirage.

MrBEVS will go where I wish to be to make me happy . The thing is that I wish MrBEVS to also be happy with his lot too. Then there are the practicalities.
You just summed up everything so perfectly. You said everything I think and do, but way better than I could.
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Old May 30th 2019, 10:57 pm
  #94  
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Default Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..

Originally Posted by raindropsandroses
Nah not a chance. A cataclysmic event could occur and they'd still be obliviously styling their man buns.
They'd only notice when Facebook was down so they couldn't post selfies of aforementioned man bun.

​​​​​​
Too cynical, hopefully? Although that picture of the queue on Everest sums up everything that is wrong in our self obsessed world. I just finished reading Sapiens which is pretty depressing in it’s damming of mankind.
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Old May 30th 2019, 11:42 pm
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Default Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..

Originally Posted by raindropsandroses
Nah not a chance. A cataclysmic event could occur and they'd still be obliviously styling their man buns.
They'd only notice when Facebook was down so they couldn't post selfies of aforementioned man bun.

​​​​​​
well it better happen soon, my daughter assured me no-one born after 2002 has Facebook

Tirytory, sorry you’re feeling like this, at five-ish years in I started to feel Canada would never really be home. I have developed a ridiculous reluctance to apply for citizenship.

Maybe I will get past it. Maybe you will. If not, and you’re really unhappy then that might affect your family far more than moving back?

A friend had to return her kids to the UK (not from Canada) at a less than ideal point in their education, but they managed. If he did tank the o levels (showing my age) he will get there in the end. And chances are he’ll be fine, despite how we felt at 15/16 there’s a lot of life to fix a small setback.

( I know at least one of mine definitely intends to return )
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Old May 31st 2019, 12:02 am
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Default Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..

Originally Posted by scilly
I'm so sorry to read this, and sad that you have not settled.
Is this a result of your struggles, or the fact that you have never managed to get a settled place to live?
Never really found a city I clicked with, I guess.

Part of the issue could be my time in Canada has been pretty unstable and turbulent so I am sure that plays a part.

Once I became an adult and not living at home, going to school everyday, I kind of ended up wandering, 18-23 was pretty stable with 1 job, but I still wandered to different places either flying for a day or 2, or moving for a year.

Last edited by scrubbedexpat091; May 31st 2019 at 1:41 am.
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Old May 31st 2019, 1:40 am
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Default Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..

Originally Posted by CanadaJimmy
I hate to generalize but unfortunately I've noticed this mindset is very common among baby boomers - this doesn't apply to all boomers, but it seems to be the most common with that particular group - replacing emotional needs with money and stuff. Yo
Not wishing to take this thread off topic but this made me smile a little. I'm a boomer & that mindset does not belong to me nor to anyone much that I know . What made me smile though was that I realised I do tend to think that particular mindset - the throwaway ,materialistic ,instant gratification , non caring, blaming - society as more belonging to & much more common in GenY.
Of course the thinking doesn't really belong to either generational group but more to those that feel the world owes them without the need to invest or pay back. That attitude could and does belong to an individual .
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Old May 31st 2019, 1:42 am
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Default Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..

Originally Posted by BEVS
I am hopeful of this.

I don't know the answer to this TiryTory. I have been in NZ for 16 years now and it remains not a good fit for me for several reasons . MrBEVS on the other hand views how he sees where he is in a different way. His measures are not the same as mine. What makes him tick if different to my tock. I can appreciate what we have and where we are and all that guff but really it is not for me.
Homesickness comes in waves as you know . It is akin to bereavement in a way. It has nothing to do with nostalgia which I sometimes see written on BE as an explanation for feeling displaced. Nor about not doing research in the beginning , or refusing to embrace the new, or looking back at past times with fondness & love. It is something a bit deeper than that. Something which makes you . Is a part of the fibre of your being. The thing that raises your eyes and swells your heart. Makes you skip. It is that thing.

We have considered a move within NZ. We could move to an area which I feel could suit me better in a couple of ways for one or two reasons , however overall it would still not be a good fit for many more reasons.
Don't get me wrong . I am not spending days, months ,years dragging my feet with my chin on the ground bemoaning all and sundry. We live our lives here and make the most of where we are , who we know and what we have. It is not my place of peace,rest and happiness though. It is not in my heart at all but maybe I was a little too old to expect my heart to adapt and love the new .

Why did we emigrate? Because we could and wanted to try something different. There was no big push to leave the UK like it seems many feel the need . It was more the pull of the shimmering horizon which in a way was no more than a mirage.

MrBEVS will go where I wish to be to make me happy . The thing is that I wish MrBEVS to also be happy with his lot too. Then there are the practicalities.
You just made me have a mini snuffle Bevs...you have put it so well. My husband needs to be in Canada in order to feel at one with himself, and I will go wherever that leads.

I worry about the planet...I’m proud to say my son and all his friends turn up to the legislature on Fridays and noisily protest...extinction isn’t something that worries lots of denizens of NB generally. Life is very parochial here. That being said young people are taking more notice...I think and hope.

Thank you TT for a most thought provoking thread that so many of us feel applies to our lives.

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Old May 31st 2019, 4:29 am
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Default Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..

Originally Posted by BEVS
Not wishing to take this thread off topic but this made me smile a little. I'm a boomer & that mindset does not belong to me nor to anyone much that I know . What made me smile though was that I realised I do tend to think that particular mindset - the throwaway ,materialistic ,instant gratification , non caring, blaming - society as more belonging to & much more common in GenY.
Of course the thinking doesn't really belong to either generational group but more to those that feel the world owes them without the need to invest or pay back. That attitude could and does belong to an individual .
Yeah I didn't want to turn this into generations pointing fingers at each other, frankly there's too much of that that goes on. More was just trying to help the OP figure out why she might not be fitting into the area, due to my own personal observations of some prevailing attitudes. Willing to accept may be off the mark here.
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Old May 31st 2019, 4:42 am
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Default Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..

Originally Posted by CanadaJimmy
Yeah I didn't want to turn this into generations pointing fingers at each other, frankly there's too much of that that goes on.
Me neither . It simply gave me pause for thought that perhaps I also unwittingly or unthinkingly had maybe applied certain attitudes/behaviours in general to an entire generation which, of course, is quite wrong. So in that respect, for me at least, your post serves as a reminder to not allow oneself to think in that way. i.e. ' those young people ' *shakes head* - 'those old people' * shakes head* .

Interestingly then, myself and Tirytory are of different generations but we 'get' each other.
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Old May 31st 2019, 11:36 am
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Default Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..

Originally Posted by raindropsandroses
Nah not a chance. A cataclysmic event could occur and they'd still be obliviously styling their man buns.
They'd only notice when Facebook was down so they couldn't post selfies of aforementioned man bun.

​​​​​​
Facebook is for old people, I enjoy it but it's as likely to attract the youth of today as is the British Legion.

Younger people are, I think, less of a burden on the planet in that they tend not to drive, it's just not their thing.
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Old May 31st 2019, 12:02 pm
  #102  
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Default Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..

Originally Posted by dbd33
Facebook is for old people, I enjoy it but it's as likely to attract the youth of today as is the British Legion.

Younger people are, I think, less of a burden on the planet in that they tend not to drive, it's just not their thing.
Well, funny you should say that but here the Legion suppers are very popular with the teens. Facebook and man buns also seem to be where its at.
Proof that NS is in indeed twenty years behind?
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Old May 31st 2019, 12:04 pm
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Default Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..

The driving is another thing here, I don't know of anyone over legal driving age who doesn't drive and have their own car, its very common to have four/five cars per household.
You'd be a bit bored and stuck if you didn't in our neck of the woods though.
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Old May 31st 2019, 12:09 pm
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Default Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..

I think you're far into the country and might find things a bit different in a throbbing metropolis like, say, Truro,
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Old May 31st 2019, 12:25 pm
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Default Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..

Originally Posted by dbd33
I think you're far into the country and might find things a bit different in a throbbing metropolis like, say, Truro,
Truro?!? No!! I'd be like Crocodile Dundee in the big city if I went there.
I don't know many people who've ventured as far from home as Truro, and a considerable number have never been to Halifax either.
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