Five years and homesickness increasing..
May 30th 2019, 3:35 pm
#76
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Location: Langley, BC
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Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
That being said it's your life, if the UK is a better fit, then maybe that's the only option. I've always had this belief that the country we're born into isn't necessarily the right fit for us, our values might not line up with the prevailing way people live in that country, so immigrating or returning to your birth country to find that "right fit" is sometimes necessary. I've known two Canadians who actually immigrated to the UK for example, and I supported them in that since they felt it was the best move for them.
May 30th 2019, 3:41 pm
#77
Muskoka, Ontario
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Joined: Aug 2013
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Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
My profession is very niche and I am well known within my field, if I gave any additional details you'd be able to learn almost everything about me from Google, and I value my privacy. Not to mention some very unflattering, ghastly pictures of me. No thanks! 
Harsh and defensive are different things though aren't they.
No, what I and others are saying is that if you go back to the UK you risk your husband and son being unhappy like you are now. Is that a price you're prepared to pay?
Harsh and defensive are different things though aren't they.
No, what I and others are saying is that if you go back to the UK you risk your husband and son being unhappy like you are now. Is that a price you're prepared to pay?
Funnily enough, my son has mentioned moving back to the UK when he’s old enough anyway. As I’ve mentioned in other posts, the only real worry is that my husband would find work crazily stressful in the UK although since we’re a simpler, minimalist version of ourselves now😉. I don’t think our wants and desires would require the level of work. You know our tiny home, and electric car, no overseas travel etc etc ..
May 30th 2019, 3:44 pm
#78
Muskoka, Ontario
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Joined: Aug 2013
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Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
Is there some secret trick to the apostrophe that turns it into something else???
May 30th 2019, 3:50 pm
#79
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Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
Haha. A friend recently told me that the trick to photos is to always stand at the back. I’m just genuinely interested in the subject.
Funnily enough, my son has mentioned moving back to the UK when he’s old enough anyway. As I’ve mentioned in other posts, the only real worry is that my husband would find work crazily stressful in the UK although since we’re a simpler, minimalist version of ourselves now😉. I don’t think our wants and desires would require the level of work. You know our tiny home, and electric car, no overseas travel etc etc ..
Well in that case why not just move back? Why not use it as an opportunity for your husband to change careers to something less stressful in the UK.
May 30th 2019, 4:10 pm
#80
Muskoka, Ontario
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Joined: Aug 2013
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Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
There just seems to be more at stake moving back than there was when we moved here. It would all be on me. What if son does horribly at GCSE’s because we loved him at a crucial point? What if? What if? Maybe I’m less reluctant to take risks as I get older.
May 30th 2019, 4:10 pm
#81
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Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
May 30th 2019, 5:47 pm
#84
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May 30th 2019, 7:17 pm
#86
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Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
It's never made sense to me either, but I did take that advice and tried it, it did not work, I was still in Canada, just a different part of Canada.
And yes obviously home country/city changes over time like everything else, but a lot of familiar things don't. I have been away from home for 15 years, when I go back while a lot of things have changed, a whole lot also is the same as it was 15 years ago, city's don't change overnight, the new doesn't replace the old overnight, the city is still the city I left, it's just change a bit.
Even though I have been here 14-15 years (cannot recall the exact date anymore I came here) I still feel like I am a visitor here visiting.
And yes obviously home country/city changes over time like everything else, but a lot of familiar things don't. I have been away from home for 15 years, when I go back while a lot of things have changed, a whole lot also is the same as it was 15 years ago, city's don't change overnight, the new doesn't replace the old overnight, the city is still the city I left, it's just change a bit.
Even though I have been here 14-15 years (cannot recall the exact date anymore I came here) I still feel like I am a visitor here visiting.
I honestly don’t get the logic of:
Feel Homesick? Move to a different part of Canada!
It implies that Canada is the be all and end all and nowhere could be better. I also don’t understand why having worked dam hard to build our network of friends that I would then chuck it all to see if the grass was greener in a different part of Canada.
It may well relate to the fact that we liked where we lived in the UK, and we’d lived in several different parts of it. There was no huge push out of the UK that seems to drive other immigrants.
Feel Homesick? Move to a different part of Canada!
It implies that Canada is the be all and end all and nowhere could be better. I also don’t understand why having worked dam hard to build our network of friends that I would then chuck it all to see if the grass was greener in a different part of Canada.
It may well relate to the fact that we liked where we lived in the UK, and we’d lived in several different parts of it. There was no huge push out of the UK that seems to drive other immigrants.
May 30th 2019, 7:33 pm
#87
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Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
May 30th 2019, 8:33 pm
#88
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Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
Just to ensure that what I said is not mis-understood .........
I did NOT suggest a move to Vancouver
What I actually suggested was a look at southern BC, which stretches from the coast to the Alberta border, and north to about Kamloops, or maybe as far as Williams Lake.
Unfortunately for my complete understanding of your problem, I'm like raindropsandroses and Oakvillian in that I have never been homesick. We moved on a whim, didn't even really research the country nor the city. We just embraced the new, made friends, learnt about the customs, the history and the political system of the new place.
Both of us had moved a little bit around the UK over the 8-9 years between leaving school and marrying ............ from home town to university, then to Cheshire in my case and to Devon for UK. We both settled down quite happily in the university town and in the places where we worked. Moving and finding our feet was not unusual for us, but the decision to move to another country was an adventure not to be missed, and luckily for us, it turned to be to "our place to live". We left the UK less than 10 days after we married.
What had we left behind? A small family group on both sides, friends who mostly had moved away from home towns either to elsewhere in the UK or to overseas. As I posted, the centre of my home town literally changed enough for me to be lost within 3 years. My home was demolished less than 10 years later. OH's parents moved from the home where he grew up to a small place within 10 years.
Everything had changed within a relatively short period.
I have one first cousin still alive in the UK ........ 1 of her children lives in Sweden, a 2nd lives in Germany, a 3rd in southern England and the 4th still in the same county. 5 first cousins moved to Australia, then their parents followed them. My generation and our children have moved all over the world.
I'm sorry that you have not found "your" place.
But why did you move, apart from your husband's stress. Were you really in favour of the move back then? How will you feel when, no matter what you do now, the day comes when at least one of your children decides to emigrate to another country?
I did NOT suggest a move to Vancouver
What I actually suggested was a look at southern BC, which stretches from the coast to the Alberta border, and north to about Kamloops, or maybe as far as Williams Lake.
Unfortunately for my complete understanding of your problem, I'm like raindropsandroses and Oakvillian in that I have never been homesick. We moved on a whim, didn't even really research the country nor the city. We just embraced the new, made friends, learnt about the customs, the history and the political system of the new place.
Both of us had moved a little bit around the UK over the 8-9 years between leaving school and marrying ............ from home town to university, then to Cheshire in my case and to Devon for UK. We both settled down quite happily in the university town and in the places where we worked. Moving and finding our feet was not unusual for us, but the decision to move to another country was an adventure not to be missed, and luckily for us, it turned to be to "our place to live". We left the UK less than 10 days after we married.
What had we left behind? A small family group on both sides, friends who mostly had moved away from home towns either to elsewhere in the UK or to overseas. As I posted, the centre of my home town literally changed enough for me to be lost within 3 years. My home was demolished less than 10 years later. OH's parents moved from the home where he grew up to a small place within 10 years.
Everything had changed within a relatively short period.
I have one first cousin still alive in the UK ........ 1 of her children lives in Sweden, a 2nd lives in Germany, a 3rd in southern England and the 4th still in the same county. 5 first cousins moved to Australia, then their parents followed them. My generation and our children have moved all over the world.
I'm sorry that you have not found "your" place.
But why did you move, apart from your husband's stress. Were you really in favour of the move back then? How will you feel when, no matter what you do now, the day comes when at least one of your children decides to emigrate to another country?
May 30th 2019, 8:50 pm
#89
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Joined: Feb 2013
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 3,874
Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
It's never made sense to me either, but I did take that advice and tried it, it did not work, I was still in Canada, just a different part of Canada.
And yes obviously home country/city changes over time like everything else, but a lot of familiar things don't. I have been away from home for 15 years, when I go back while a lot of things have changed, a whole lot also is the same as it was 15 years ago, city's don't change overnight, the new doesn't replace the old overnight, the city is still the city I left, it's just change a bit.
Even though I have been here 14-15 years (cannot recall the exact date anymore I came here) I still feel like I am a visitor here visiting.
And yes obviously home country/city changes over time like everything else, but a lot of familiar things don't. I have been away from home for 15 years, when I go back while a lot of things have changed, a whole lot also is the same as it was 15 years ago, city's don't change overnight, the new doesn't replace the old overnight, the city is still the city I left, it's just change a bit.
Even though I have been here 14-15 years (cannot recall the exact date anymore I came here) I still feel like I am a visitor here visiting.
Is this a result of your struggles, or the fact that you have never managed to get a settled place to live?
city's don't change overnight, the new doesn't replace the old overnight, the city is still the city I left, it's just change a bit.
The neighbourhood where I lived from the age of 11 underwent that kind of change in the early 70s ............. everything was demolished even though most of the housing stock was in good shape. I look at it on Google and barely recognise anything. They even moved the War Memorial from its prominent position to a much less obvious place.
The whole centre of the big city of Manchester underwent much the same change, although the major buildings survived, roads were re-routed, parks added or taken away.
In some cases, it really is like going to a completely new place. On the other hand, other places haven't changed much in hundreds of years ..... and it is always a bit of a surprise to see that it is almost the same as when you were last there 50 years ago.
We were talking to a friend last weekend who had been raised in Winchester, which has one of the largest cathedrals in Europe, dating back to the 7th century. He went to a school close to the Cathedral, and said that while the streets around the complex are still there and still have the centuries' old names, most of the buildings have been demolished and replaced ............ and he had a struggle finding his way around when he went back on a visit
May 30th 2019, 10:15 pm
#90
Muskoka, Ontario
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 3,045
Re: Five years and homesickness increasing..
Just to ensure that what I said is not mis-understood .........
I did NOT suggest a move to Vancouver
What I actually suggested was a look at southern BC, which stretches from the coast to the Alberta border, and north to about Kamloops, or maybe as far as Williams Lake.
Unfortunately for my complete understanding of your problem, I'm like raindropsandroses and Oakvillian in that I have never been homesick. We moved on a whim, didn't even really research the country nor the city. We just embraced the new, made friends, learnt about the customs, the history and the political system of the new place.
Both of us had moved a little bit around the UK over the 8-9 years between leaving school and marrying ............ from home town to university, then to Cheshire in my case and to Devon for UK. We both settled down quite happily in the university town and in the places where we worked. Moving and finding our feet was not unusual for us, but the decision to move to another country was an adventure not to be missed, and luckily for us, it turned to be to "our place to live". We left the UK less than 10 days after we married.
What had we left behind? A small family group on both sides, friends who mostly had moved away from home towns either to elsewhere in the UK or to overseas. As I posted, the centre of my home town literally changed enough for me to be lost within 3 years. My home was demolished less than 10 years later. OH's parents moved from the home where he grew up to a small place within 10 years.
Everything had changed within a relatively short period.
I have one first cousin still alive in the UK ........ 1 of her children lives in Sweden, a 2nd lives in Germany, a 3rd in southern England and the 4th still in the same county. 5 first cousins moved to Australia, then their parents followed them. My generation and our children have moved all over the world.
I'm sorry that you have not found "your" place.
But why did you move, apart from your husband's stress. Were you really in favour of the move back then? How will you feel when, no matter what you do now, the day comes when at least one of your children decides to emigrate to another country?
I did NOT suggest a move to Vancouver
What I actually suggested was a look at southern BC, which stretches from the coast to the Alberta border, and north to about Kamloops, or maybe as far as Williams Lake.
Unfortunately for my complete understanding of your problem, I'm like raindropsandroses and Oakvillian in that I have never been homesick. We moved on a whim, didn't even really research the country nor the city. We just embraced the new, made friends, learnt about the customs, the history and the political system of the new place.
Both of us had moved a little bit around the UK over the 8-9 years between leaving school and marrying ............ from home town to university, then to Cheshire in my case and to Devon for UK. We both settled down quite happily in the university town and in the places where we worked. Moving and finding our feet was not unusual for us, but the decision to move to another country was an adventure not to be missed, and luckily for us, it turned to be to "our place to live". We left the UK less than 10 days after we married.
What had we left behind? A small family group on both sides, friends who mostly had moved away from home towns either to elsewhere in the UK or to overseas. As I posted, the centre of my home town literally changed enough for me to be lost within 3 years. My home was demolished less than 10 years later. OH's parents moved from the home where he grew up to a small place within 10 years.
Everything had changed within a relatively short period.
I have one first cousin still alive in the UK ........ 1 of her children lives in Sweden, a 2nd lives in Germany, a 3rd in southern England and the 4th still in the same county. 5 first cousins moved to Australia, then their parents followed them. My generation and our children have moved all over the world.
I'm sorry that you have not found "your" place.
But why did you move, apart from your husband's stress. Were you really in favour of the move back then? How will you feel when, no matter what you do now, the day comes when at least one of your children decides to emigrate to another country?