Finally made a decision
 

We have made the decision to go back to the UK, I know some will say we didn't give it long enough but I know where I want to be and have realised it's not Canada.
We are heading back at the beginning of May so I am now going to relax and enjoy our last 6/7 weeks here.
Our daughter has already gone back, we drove up to Toronto yesterday and she flew back. She has gone back first (staying with my brother) so that she can try and catch up and take her GCSEs. We were finding it hard to find courses that she could do in September. It was a hard seperation but we thought it was best for her and 7 weeks will hopefully go quickly.
I would like to thank the great friends I have made here who have made my last weeks here good ones, thanks, Karen and Monique. :thumbsup:
At least we gave it a try and won't be for ever saying What If??
Thanks for listening and I wish all those setting out on their journey the best of luck. Canada is a beautiful country just not for us. ;)

Re: Finally made a decision
 

Best of luck.

Re: Finally made a decision
 

You're right - I think you probably didn't give it long enough. You only experienced winter. It takes a year for most people to even start to feel like they are settling - and probably another year to actually feel settled.

However, that doesn't mean that you're making the wrong decision to go back to the UK - because Canada might just not be the place for you no matter how long you stay. There's no point in being really unhappy - life is too short for that. You've made the decision that you think is best for you and your family. I wish you the best of luck.

Re: Finally made a decision
 

There's no shame in admitting that Canada isn't for you... you did it... tried it...its not for you and good on you for admitting to yourselves that you need to go home. I wish you all the best and hope you find what you are looking for. Are you going back to the same place in the UK or relocating?

Re: Finally made a decision
 

Hard decision most likely, but now you have made it you have a clear path forward. Best of luck with your relocation. :thumbup:

Re: Finally made a decision
 

Thanks everyone for your best wishes, we will be moving back to Huddesrfield where we emigrated from. :)

Re: Finally made a decision
 

All the best with your move back to the UK. At least you tried Canada. You were brave to do that.

Re: Finally made a decision
 

Good Luck to you and your family !

Re: Finally made a decision
 

From my take it's better to go back sooner than later ~ Having had a really crappy time in the first six months we were close to going back..... Now our eldest daughter has returned to the Uk ~ My wife and I are separated and 3 years in I cannot see how it would even be possible (finacially) to return to the Uk. So I'm stuck with with.

Re: Finally made a decision
 

Sorry to hear things haven't worked for you, I totally know how you feel. If you aren't happy there's always a way back.

Re: Finally made a decision
 

After being a member on this board for some time now I am beginning to realise, if it's not working it's not working, although I wouldn't recommend going back before the first 12 months (it can take longer to settle in a new town, let alone a new country). For me it's taken a particularly cold winter and 5.5 years and some other factors to have doubts.

I wish everyone contemplating a return journey all the best. Its a tough decision to stay, it's a tough decision to go.

Re: Finally made a decision
 

Maybe there's never a 'right' place for us, maybe we just sometimes pitch up in a place that seems like the right place at the right time. I was born in the UK be never felt like I fitted in, then spent my twenties and thirties as a nomad. Ten years ago, I was convinced France was home.... it was and a great decade we've had of it. But now it's time to move on, I still love my home, but it's time to go. I am sincerely hoping that I feel ' at home' in Canada for at least ten years, and I'm willing to give it a good shot. Good for you for recognising that you'd be better off not staying in Canada. In a way though, I think it's a huge relief when you finally get to the decision, it's exhausting being in the 'not sure' camp. Very best of luck with your return. I visited the UK last week for the first time in years, and had a blast. It's a super country for all sort of things, and I couldn't believe how friendly people were. Is your daughter delighted at being back 'home'?

Re: Finally made a decision
 

I am sorry to hear things have not worked out for you, but you are doing what is best for you and your family. I read your other post about this and really felt for you - and it made me realise what a difficult decision my 14 year old daughter is in! We are still in the UK and planning on moving later this year - although after much debate and discussion, our daughter wants to finish year 11 and then she will emigrate with us, so we have delayed till next year.

Reading about your daughters friends discussing proms etc, and I realised that it could be us if we went earlier!!

I know that it is going to be hard for her whatever age she moves, I am hoping that by her effectively "finishing" school here, it will make it easier as many of her friends will be moving on at that time.

I moved from South Africa to the UK when I was 20, and I had an awful time of it settling here - until I started at nursing school, which gave me a whole set of new friends and a new life. I have no family here in the UK now, my nearest relative is in USA - so I am not anticipating missing too much from here......

Good luck with your move back home.

Re: Finally made a decision
 

For some reason that really struck a chord with me. I think you're absolutely right.

I loved living in the UK, loved my time at uni there and there were many things I liked about the UK. I still miss family and friends, the football, the pub culture, the humour/sarcasm, the ability to hop over to other European countries, etc.

When I was 24, the opportunity to move to Canada presented itself and I took it. My wife and I had a blast in Toronto and ended up staying 7 years instead of the 1-2 years we had originally planned. Things changed again and a move back to the UK was the right option. We had a great time reconnecting with friends and family and living in London for 2 years. Eventually it was time to move on again and we've been in Maryland for the last 13 years. We've had a great time here too - visiting different places and watching our 4 children grow. However, we have 2 kids who will be going off to uni (both probably to Canada - one this September and another the following year) and we're starting to get itchy feet again. I think another move is definitely on the cards sometime over the next 2 years.

Re: Finally made a decision
 

I think she is doing ok, it's her first full day back at school today so we will see ahet she says later when she phones on skype!!

Re: Finally made a decision
 

We didn't have the option to wait, we only had till the 15th Dec to arrive and we landed on 23rd November as we had validated our visas in Dec 2007 (it took us nearly 3 years to sell the house).
I think you are making the right decision to let her finish her year 11 because then if you do ever go back she will always have her gcses.

Re: Finally made a decision
 

It takes a lot of courage to move to the other side of the world and even more to admit it's not for you :o

I wish you all the best for your move back home and also for the future :)

Re: Finally made a decision
 

Our timelines are almost identical to yours and orginally i wanted to go to Windsor..Difference i didnt try to sell my house and landed back in April 2008.

Perhaps things might have been different had you landed back then when your children were younger?

Still if its not working your right to move back..sometimes you dont realise what you have got until its gone so i dont hold with the give it a year or 2 scenario..lifes too short.

Re: Finally made a decision
 

Thanks again everyone for your replys, I am feeling so much more relaxed now I know we are going back. :)

Re: Finally made a decision
 

Best of luck to you, and you are right, no more what if's in the future.

Me and my family have been here for almost 7months, for most of my life I have wanted to settle in Canada but after living here for only a short time and some tough decision making, unhappy in job and other personal reasons, enough is enough and we too are planning our return to the UK. It either works or it doesn't. I certainly don't dislike Canada, but it just doesn't seem to be our time to be settling in another Country.

Re: Finally made a decision
 

Totally agree with you, I hope your move home goes well. x

Re: Finally made a decision
 

Some of the advice here echos other forums in other countries, in that x amount of time should be given before making a decision to leave. This can vary from one to six years.

And given peoples resistance to change, there is definite validity in that.

But...acknowledgement should also be given to gut instinct.

My husband and I arrived in our chosen country separately, and both knew within the first few weeks, without question, that it did not feel 'right'. But we accepted the advice of other immigrants and bought a house to encourage feelings of belonging, started work, made friends, explored both islands on a campervan holiday, and waited......and tried... and waited...and tried....

Almost three years later we are desperate to sell in order to leave. Our one regret is the fact we chose to ignore our initial gut feeling. There is validity in 'the longer you stay, the harder it is to leave' as financial, emotional and psychological factors do impact on your actual ability to leave.

We had a week's holiday in Oz last year, and within hours of arriving, felt as if we had been given a drink of water after months of living in a desert. We just knew Oz was 'right' for us. Unfortunately, the heat is the reason we cannot live there, even temporarily.

So to everyone heading back after less than a year, if you know without question the country you are living is a wrong 'fit', it is easier to leave sooner rather than later. If you are unsure, take time to re-evaluate your situation in case you are in a settling in period.

And I guess we will all need to have a brief but ready answer for everyone in the UK who thinks our return must be due to a lack of mental stability :D

Good luck to all. :)

Re: Finally made a decision
 

hi davenports , sorry to hear it hasnt worked i know from your original post how low you and your daughter were feeling and i told you about how long it took my daughter to settle. Its a shame it hasnt worked out hope all goes well on your move back to good old blighty and good luck to you and your family , at least you can say you tried. Its better to regret what youve done than regret what youve never done. :thumbup:

Re: Finally made a decision
 

Thanks again everyone, I just hope this next 6 weeks goes quick so that we can get back to our daughter and get on with the rest of our lives. :)

Re: Finally made a decision
 

Life goes on... Wishing you all the best.